[Subtitled: Somewhat Organized Thoughts Upon The Occasion of A Hopefully Random Act of Very Minor Violence]
Our mailbox is a rectangular, black metal one that sits on top of a white wooden post by the street. It was tomato-ed. This is a first for us.
In the past our mailbox has been: smashed with a baseball bat; peanutbutter-ed; egged; toilet paper-ed; and robbed. [One summer I decided to put a small bracket on the back of the white post and hang a basket of geraniums from it. Very pretty... for the few days that it was there before someone stole it.] But we’ve never had a tomato thrown at it.
The attack of this not-so-rotten tomato occurred between 6:30 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. while I drove Z-D to work. Our mailbox, which is large, shiny and very noticeable when pulling out of our driveway, was just fine when we left home. But when I got back home, the door to it was hanging open and there was a small dent in the side of it. This I saw from the driveway as I pulled in.
It wasn’t until I walked down our driveway to see up-close what had happened that I realized that we had been tomato-ed with a large, firm, red tomato that left its seedy drool all over one side of our mailbox– and its gushy guts in the grass around the bottom of the wooden post.
As I didn’t grow up in suburbia I can only guess at the motivations for tomato-ing someone’s mailbox. Questions plague me.
- Which came first: the tomato or the mailbox?
- Was this planned? And if so, where did the perp get his or her tomato? Stolen from someone’s garden? Purloined from Mom’s frig? Purchased at Kroger?
- Is it possible that our mailbox wasn’t the intended target? Considering there are high school kids in the two house across the street from us & in one house next door to us, I have to wonder if this is a case of mistaken tomato-ing.
Answers to these questions elude me, leaving me to suspect that the real reason our mailbox was tomato-ed has nothing to do with logic. I imagine, that like many things in life, the real reason that our mailbox was tomato-ed is that it was in the right place at the wrong time.