Letting Go, Moving On

/ Ally Bean

Our weather around here has been “off” for almost 10 months now.  First, last summer we had the worst drought ever on record– which lead to an ugly autumn.  Then we had an early winter followed by the wettest spring on record.  I don’t think that I’m overstating it when I say that this weird weather is making people crazy.  They aren’t behaving nicely at all.

And I certainly have felt the brunt of this unhappiness.

I work from home so I don’t have to engage with people on a daily basis if I don’t want to.  I’m naturally observant and I’m very empathetic [as are many introverts, btw].  All of this combined together means that when I do go into the world, I’m more highly attuned to what is going on.  And the negative energy hits me harder than most other people who I know.

In fact, yesterday when I shared the details of some friends’ rude behavior, I was just giving you, my gentle readers, a brief glimpse into what has been going on behind the scenes in my life.  Everywhere I turn among those who one year ago I would have described as friends, I find strangeness and hostility.  Throughout this year I’ve been marginalized, used, put down, and most recently, completely ignored.  Apparently I’m now invisible, too.

I tell Zen-Den about my ridiculous encounters with friends, acquaintances, humanity.  He listens.  And then he tells me that I’m too nice to too many people who don’t care one iota about me.  And that it’s time for me to cut bait.

He’s right, of course.

Sad as it is for me to say, many (most?) of my current friendships have run their courses.  I’ve always been more of a free spirit than anyone else I know.  But there’s more to this disconnection than that.  Being on my own as much as I have been these last few years, I’ve evolved into a more relaxed, open-minded person than when I first met so many of these people.  I’m more liberal now.  I’m more focused on healthy living.  I’m more creative.  And I’m much more concerned with living in the moment– not agonizing over the future– being able to let go of the past.

So that is exactly what I am doing here in this blog post.  I’m making the choice to be good to myself now and in the future.  I’m saying good-bye to the most negative, small-minded group of people I’ve ever known.  And I’m telling the world in no uncertain terms: I deserve better.

Now, I shall go out and make it so.  Care to join me?

10 thoughts on “Letting Go, Moving On”

  1. Good for you! At some point, it is necessary to strip negative nellies (as the Brits say) from one’s life. I had done that, then took a trip last year and one of the group members was exceedingly negative and demanding. She created an atmosphere. And I had forgotten what it was to be around someone so negative; in the end, was forced to have a confrontation w/ her, lest she ruin the trip for everyone else. Mean, negative people have no place in my life; life is just too short to waste time w/ such people.

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  2. Tara, you said it: “Mean, negative people have no place in my life; life is just too short to waste time w/ such people.”

    And I think that I have finally learned it. No mas, no mas.

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  3. So sad that you have encountered so much negativity lately. I agree in cutting ties to those who cannot see the positive things in life. I, too, have been pretty much by myself these past couple of years. I only do what I enjoy now–art and music and associate with like minded people. Of course, there have been some disappointments along the way, but there always has been and always will be. As the saying goes, “Life goes on.” Keep smiling 🙂

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  4. Beth, it’s funny. I’m not in the least bit angry with these people– just exasperated and worn out by their limited-ness. I’m looking for people with better attitudes, and the belief that cooperation and compassion are good values. And who like to laugh about ideas & personal experiences– not make fun of people for sport.

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  5. To My Beautiful Bean:
    The nice weather will return, the flowers will bloom and ultimate happiness will spring forth. You are free and in control !!!
    All My Love – ZD

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  6. Zen-Den, you sound like a fortune cookie! Or a horoscope! But thanks for the support.

    “Free” is probably the operative word here, don’t you think? Enough, already.

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  7. Great post! I too am feeling negative energy, although mainly from strangers and not from very many people in my life. They basically walk on eggshells around me because my husband has cancer. *sigh*

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  8. Margaret, thanks. It is the weirdest thing, isn’t it? Where is all this negativity coming from? I think that people have lost perspective and are emulating the never-ending negativity of the 24/7 news cycle. Then they watch reality tv and think that they are “stars” who can do whatever they like. The result is rude, selfish behavior.

    [I probably could do a whole post on this topic, but I’d end up using curse words every other sentence. And I don’t use curse words online, so I’d never be able to publish what I wrote. So I won’t write a post about it. But I sure feel like doing it.]

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  9. I understand completely. I encounter more of these people everyday. I have made an effort to stay away from them. I guess it comes with age and wisdom.
    Life is too short now to tolerate them.

    My mantra is to run from the negative and run toward the positive.

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