The Tale Of The Lonely Beet

/ Ally Bean

DSCN3608Once upon a time the Lady of the House went to the grocery where she purchased some beets.  She was going to roast them and serve them as a side dish with some ham for dinner.

:: The Lady of the House had good intentions.

However, when the Lady of the House came home from the grocery, she put the beets in a stainless steel bowl which she put in the frig.  Then, she forgot about their existence.

Because the beets were well-mannered, they did not call attention to themselves in the frig.  No, they just sat in the bowl and slowly allowed mold to cover them.  Perhaps they were cold and considered the mold to be like a sweater.  Perhaps they were content and enjoyed connecting with the mold.

:: We will never know for sure.

All we know is that the next time the Lady of the House looked at the beets she saw six moldy, dried out vegetables that were way past their prime.  Upon seeing what had happened, the Lady of the House said a few words that will not be repeated on these pages.

But the Lady of the House had another idea for the beets.  You see, the Lady of the House’s mother had a saying which she said to the Lady of the House when the Lady of the House was a girl.

:: And this saying was: waste not, want not.

Remembering what her mother had told her to do, the Lady of the House decided to toss the beets into the wooded ravine behind her house.  The Lady of the House thought that some of the deer or raccoons that live back there might like to feast on said beets.

:: However, she was wrong about this assumption.

A few days later when the Lady of the House chanced to look outside upon her backyard realm, she noticed that all the beets were still there.  And that one beet in particular, that had the misfortune of landing on top of a concrete wall instead of on the ground, was positioned in such a way as to create a perfect photo-op.

So, the Lady of the House, who also happened to be a blogger extraordinaire, grabbed her camera.  Then she went outside and took one of the best artsy-farsty photos she has ever taken.  Not wanting to let this photo go to waste, the Lady of the House figured she could put this photo on her blog, tell her readers how this beet came to be so alone, and call it a blog post.

:: And that is exactly what she did.  The end.

22 thoughts on “The Tale Of The Lonely Beet”

  1. Don’t that just beet all . . . there isn’t any juice stains on our very expensive “concrete that was made to look like real rock” (wonder if the Germans have a name for that) wall, is there?

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  2. If you ever write a book, I will be one of the first to buy it and read it!! You could even illustrate it with your photographs:)

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  4. What a tale of horror. I can feel the shock and dread you must have felt when you opened the refrigerator door to discovered your beets were now wearing mold sweaters. But….what happened to the lonely beet after you took its photo? Did you put her/him back with his/her siblings? Did you leave her/him there on top of the concrete wall to enjoy the view? Did a passing dog stop to pick him/her up and then trot a few steps away from the wall before dropping her/him somewhere on your back lawn? What happened to the lonely beet????

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  6. I thought you were going to say this all happened last year, and now you have beets growing. 🙂 I thought that because I used to feed my dog apple cores when I was a kid, and we had an apple tree spring up in our back yard. Which doesn’t speak well of my diligence to my chore of cleaning up dog poop, does it?

    The other day I was at the grocery store, and thinking about school lunches for my daughter. I thought, “Oh, I’ll make her a bean and cheese burrito…she likes those”, and then I decided to buy a can of refried black beans, even though we had some leftover in the fridge. “Just in case.” Good thing, because when I opened the leftovers, they were really fuzzy. We don’t have woods behind our house, just a parking lot of an apartment complex, and I doubt that they would have enjoyed fuzzy refried beans tossed over my fence onto their cars, so I put them down the garbage disposal. Glad I bought that second can!

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    • J, your ending to my story would of been a good one. I wonder if beets grow from the vegetable itself or from some seeds that you buy? My knowledge of how to grow beets is limited.

      I’m very glad that you didn’t throw the fuzzy refried beans into the parking lot. [Now there’s a sentence that I never would of thought I’d ever write!] Sometimes I’m amazed by how quickly food goes bad in a frig. For some illogical reason, I think that once I put it in there, it should last forever.

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