Going through my files I discovered the following.
Here is The Sociopath Test that I took to determine that I am a functional member of society.
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It’s easy to make light of a test like the funny one mentioned above, but answering the questions gave me insight into what behaviors to look for when I think that I dealing with a sociopath. They are those tedious people who only care about themselves and disregard anything you have to say. Antisocial behavior? Yes. No guilt about manipulating others? Yes. Rude, except when they want something? You betcha.
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According to the Mayo Clinic where sociopathy is a type of antisocial personality disorder:
“Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental condition in which a person’s ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional — and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others.” [More here.]
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To my knowledge I don’t have any sociopaths running around in my life now. Not to say that there haven’t been a few of them along the way– just that I gave them the boot and they are no longer invited into my happy world.
In my experience, once someone with a tendency toward this sort of anti-social, user personality knows that I will call them out on their crap, they disappear forever because the last thing they want is for someone to shine light on them. Of course, I may have only dealt with slightly anti-social sociopaths, so my approach might not work with the really whacked, threatening ones. Don’t know what I’d do then.
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So, my gentle readers, what do you know about sociopaths? Are there any in your lives? Are you, heaven forbid, one of them?
And most importantly, what do you do when you find yourself sitting across the table from one? Avoid interaction OR destroy on the spot?
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 
I was once married to a narcissist which is different but not fun either. I don’t know if I could diagnose a sociopath but if it’s someone I don’t like (and I expect I wouldn’t like a manipulative twerp) I try to distance myself before they become entwined in my life.
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kate, that’s the trick of it, isn’t it? Not letting that twerp into you life. Easy to say, but difficult to do sometimes.
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According to the Test, I am not one either. Didn’t think I was. Many of us would kid that they are all around us in the workplace, but thankfully I don’t experience too many here. But who really knows?
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Zen-Den, good point. Who knows for sure? Still we both know that they can lurk around the edges of your life waiting to take advantage of things.
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You may not be surprised to learn that I am not a sociopath, at least according to to thest. I have sometimes wondered about a couple of people I have known, though, but I struggle to put such a harsh label on them. (Maybe they are just needy, insecure, etc.) At the same time, I found them to be too draining of my energies to have too much contact. The trouble is, though, that I have *liked* these same people, and (when things were good) really enjoyed their company. They could be charming/charismatic/witty/fun. But when things were bad, too much of my energy went into their crises, and some of the crises were really of their own making. I’d end up feeling manipulated or betrayed or just generally suckered. (And this is in contrast with how I usually feel when helping people I care about. Usually I feel good about helping, and the bond I have with the person strengthens.)
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alejna, I know what you mean. I liked some of the people who I’d say exhibited sociopathic tendencies, but in the end they always drained me & I’d feel like a sucker. The result is that I called them on their behaviors, they didn’t like it– and now they ignore me entirely. I’m cool with that, and feel like maybe I learned something positive from the experiences.
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Good to know that you are not a sociopath! According to the test, I’m not either. Phew.
True sociopaths are pretty hard to recognize. The general wisdom is that successful sociopaths (those that function well in society) are intelligent and learn early that they need to at least act like other people. One of the key traits is that they have no empathy for others and don’t even understand why people would be upset by their behavior. But they can learn to fake it. Antisocial personalities, however, are a little easier to spot, at least in my view. Maybe some of them just aren’t as bright as the successful sociopath. And the people who have some of the traits but don’t meet full criteria? Kick ’em to the curb. People who don’t respect the rights, needs and feelings others are no fun to be around.
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Zazzy you said: “Kick ‘em to the curb. People who don’t respect the rights, needs and feelings others are no fun to be around.” That’s the approach that I’ve taken. It took me years to realize what was going on, but now that I have I feel comfortable exerting my right to be treated fairly. You live, you learn, eh?
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I knew a couple – had to be polite – for a bit. But they tend to avoid me rather quickly.
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philosophermouse, they avoid me, too. I pay attention which seems to bug people who are sneaky. They just never quite like me. Oh well.
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My husband’s toxic siblings–they are no longer in our life. Their view of reality was so distorted that the relationship caused stress and pain and DRAMA. I still can get worked up about some of their selfishness, but it’s a relief to not deal directly with them.
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Margaret, toxic is a good word to use when referring to sociopaths. The ones who I have met certainly are that. Glad to know that yours are out of your daily life.
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Whatever the opposite of that is, I think is me. I’m not saying I’m great or perfect, just that I am often empathetic to a fault. My mom used to tell a story of me playing Monopoly with my Grandma when I was 7 or 8, and I cried because I won. I felt so bad for her, because I wanted HER to win. No, I’m not a jerk, but it does have its downsides as well, I suspect.
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J, I’m more like you. I’m empathetic & intuitive & observant which means that often times I understand what people are doing better than they do! Love the story of kindhearted little you. What a sweetie you were (& are).
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I have a relative that I suspect is a socio-path and they are well aware that I will destroy on spot.
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belle, good for you. Life is too short for sociopathic drama. I’ve come to realize that as I’ve gotten older. Play nice– or go home.
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Exactly! Well put!
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