Deconstructing The Party That, For Most Of Our Guests, Wasn’t

/ Ally Bean

I.  Things for the party began to fall apart a few days before Friday.  It was small things at first.  

Zen-Den got food poisoning, a rarity, and took to bed for 32 hours.  He felt horrible, but eventually rallied.  His illness was unexpected, but no reason to cancel a party.

[Poor guy.]     

Then I had ridiculous problems placing the “customizable” deli sandwich tray order.  We had received a brochure in the mail that told us what was available and at what price.  Well, when I went in to place the order, turned out that for the deli, the word “customizable” meant me choosing between turkey or chicken salad on rolls of the deli’s choosing.  

[Say what?]

And then at the bakery the man told me that I couldn’t have the Santa Claus face, made of cupcakes, that had been such a hit at last year’s party.  He told me that the woman who decorated them no longer worked there, so wouldn’t I like a boring red + white candy cane cupcake cake instead?

[Hell no!]

II.  So on Thursday morning before the party, having survived the aforementioned small debacles, I thought we were in great shape.  House decorated.  Bathrooms cleaned.  Food ordered &/or purchased.  Pretty paper plates + napkins.  Booze aplenty.  Wine glasses washed and ready to go.  Coolers for the beer and soda on the porch.  Gifts wrapped.  Outside decorated.  Guest bedrooms ready for our overnight guests.

I was ready for 54 friends and acquaintances.  Let the party begin.

III.  What happened after Thursday morning is blurry.

First, early in the afternoon some out-of-state guests started calling because the airlines had cancelled their flights due to bad weather heading our way;  these guests wouldn’t be coming to the party.

However, other out-of-state guests’ flights made it here Thursday afternoon/evening– and, as planned, those guests came to stay with us here at the house.

Then, guests who were in-state, but driving long distances, began to phone to cancel because of the bad weather that was heading our way on Friday.

While I knew that we’d miss those faraway guests, that reason alone wasn’t enough to cancel the party for all the local people.  They could still get through, right?

IV.  Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Friday morning we awakened to streets covered in sheets of ice and a winter snow storm headed our way.  The entire region had closed down, anticipating what turned out to be, by mid-afternoon, a Level 2 Snow Emergency with record amounts of snowfall.

How much snow, you ask?  A mere 6.5″!  Yep, that’s enough to stop everything around here.

So Zen-Den & I did the only thing that we could, we cancelled the party.  And spent the day with our house guests– goofing off.  Then at 6:00 p.m. we had THE PARTY with them and two of our guests who happened to be neighbors who were able to walk over to the house.

Where, I have to say, considering how much we six adults ate and drank, a good time was had by all!  😉

25 thoughts on “Deconstructing The Party That, For Most Of Our Guests, Wasn’t”

  1. I can’t help thinking of all that cream cheese – what did you do with it? I can’t imagine you managed to eat it all. 6.5 inches here would be a national emergency and the Government would have to go into an emergency session, I would think!

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    • Polly, we made small portions of the three dips, but most of the cream cheese is still in the refrigerator. It didn’t cost very much so if [when] it goes bad, I’ll toss it. Still… looking at there is just a reminder of great plans gone awry. Maybe I’ll toss it sooner.

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  3. Sounds like one snake-bit from the start. But atleast you had pleasant company to commiserate with. (crushed over the loss of Santa cupcake, though…how can we go on?…is it like hair salons and the lady has gone to a competitor perhaps…always hope)
    Now must go check out the cram cheese

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    • philosophermouse, we had a delightful time with our company, so all was not lost. But after so many weeks of planning, I was bummed to not throw a big party. Good point about trying to find out where that cake decorator went. That Santa cupcake cake was darned cute.

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  4. Oh dear. Reminds me of a holiday party thrown by some friends a couple of years ago. Nobody, and I mean nobody except the neighbors across the street could make it. They had tons of food! Sorry it didn’t turn out as planned but at least you did have fun.

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  6. Wow! I guess the big party wasn’t meant to be. But at least you had a wonderful time with the guests that could make it:) I still say, you need to write a book!

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    • Beth, it was a week that just slowly went downhill until we crashed into a ditch. Fortunately the guests who got stuck here with us were mellow and funny, so we made the best of it. And drank wine. Quite a bit of it, actually.

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  7. You definitely made the best of it, but I can’t help but think of the trite(but true) saying that my 81 year mom is fond of, “Well, the best laid plans, you know.” WILL GO ASTRAY. Life is like that too, not just parties. 🙂

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    • Margaret, plans gone astray is probably what my name means in Latin. I went from being on the edge of hysteria to the most laid back woman you ever met. Once I realized that the party had to be cancelled– and that everyone everywhere was safe– I chilled out and just sat down to watch it snow!

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  8. Well I knew about a couple of those mishaps but the full list is quite impressive. I mean, the whole universe was conspiring against that party. In the movie version we would find out how, if the party had gone ahead, the world would have ended. Or something.

    A couple inches of snow keep me trapped here but that’s a different story. Your story made me think of different places I’ve lived. How much snow is needed before you cancel depends a lot on location. Wyoming is about 2 feet.

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    • Zazzy, love how you’ve already started in your mind the screenplay for the movie version of our non-party. Very clever girl.

      I, also, got thinking about how much snow is too much. The friends from IL & NJ made it here, while the friends from CA & GA did not.

      Z-D & I grew up in areas with lots of snow so this seemed like nothing to us, but in this region, with lots of hills + curvy roads, the world shut down.

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