• I’m allergic to April. The pollen from the trees makes me itch & sneeze. The mold spores, that magically appear after the snow melts, make me itch & sneeze. And the dust mites? Don’t even get me started. They’re everywhere I want to be outside, like on the porch furniture and terra-cotta pots and the mailbox. Everywhere I tell you.
• I’m not a fan of Easter because the stupid holiday moves around the calendar and as much as I try to be a good sport about it, this behavior seems rude to me. Easter, just pick a Sunday and stick with it. That way I’d have a clue about when to buy a ham and some asparagus– maybe a pineapple, too. But as it now stands Easter’s laissez-faire attitude thwarts me, and I rarely manage to make a special holiday dinner.
• I’m not thrilled with the whole “pay your taxes” part of April. While I’m happy to be an American citizen and understand why I’m paying taxes, doing so does tend to make me a bit grouchy. I think that it does for everyone, but maybe not. Perhaps there’s some whack-a-doodle who enjoys giving money to the government. Probably has her own reality TV show, too.
• And my final reason for not liking April is that I have to acknowledge that my pasty white legs, which are getting chubbier every year, look more and more like uncooked bratwursts. During the fall and winter I can hide my legs, but every April when I put on my first pair of shorts for the year I discover that my legs look awful– and it comes as a shock to me every single time. *humph*
• • •
• • •
Grouches of the world unite!
Stand up for your grouchly rights!
Don’t let the sunshine spoil your rain
Just stand up and complain.
Let this be the grouches’ cause:
Point out everybody’s flaws!
Something is wrong with everything
Except the way I sing!
• • •
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 
And because it’s 80 one day and 30 the next. Though perhaps the cold rain will quash the pollen a little? Though it also means that it could snow on Easter, if you can find it.
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Zazzy, sure, let’s have snow on Easter. Why not? I mean we have snow here this morning when only 36 hours ago I was outside in shorts and sandals. April weather is nuts– and only serves to contribute to my grouchiness.
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Guess I should be scheduling vacation out of state this time of year. Duly noted.
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Z-D, only if it is somewhere colder where the allergens aren’t out yet– or somewhere much warmer where the trees I’m allergic to don’t thrive. There are your variables. Go forth and plan.
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So sorry you’re having so much trouble with the allergies. Since I’ve had sinus surgery, my problems have pretty much gone away. I do use eye drops that seem to help.
I agree with Easter. We never even know what month it will be in! Someone told me next year it falls in March. At least you try to make a nice holiday dinner—-me—we go out to eat!
Boo!! I hate taxes!! They just keep going up and up, and like the saying goes; “The only things certain in life are death and taxes”. They never end!
I’m with you on the legs. M was here the other day in a dress, and her legs were flawless! Mine get more and more spotted every year with freckles, age spots and veins. Yuck!
Aging is for the strong:)
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Beth, the allergy prob is ongoing, but I like to whine about it from time-to-time. Easter is in March next year? Groovy. At least then if it snows I’d understand it. Taxes, whatever! And the leg thing is just plain annoying. Thank goodness more & more clothing manufacturers are making shorts with longer inseams. 😉
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I’m not fond of April, either, but I think it’s more that I’ve developed a phobia about bad things happening. Last April was such a phenomenally bad month. And same for 4 years ago. That’s actually one of the things I’ve been meaning to blog about, but haven’t found the time for. I’m going to hopefully write about it soon, but do you know The Waste Land, by T. S. Eliot? I think you might appreciate its beginning:
I loved the Grouch Anthem, by the way. Hadn’t heard it before!
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alejna, lots of bad things happen in April– Lincoln shot, Titanic sank, the Oklahoma bombing, the Boston Marathon bombing. And those are the ones I can think of.
I’d forgotten about the T.S. Eliot poem. Thanks for the reminder. When I’m not singing the Grouch Anthem, I’ll take to quoting it. That should confuse ppl wherever I go– and perhaps be a bit of fun for me!
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Uncooked bratwursts? Have you been peeking at my legs? Thank God for that streaky orange stuff that makes them look so much better!
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kate, you got me laughing here. That orange streaky stuff does not work for me, although I will admit that I sometimes give my liquid foundation the side eye wondering if it might do the trick! But then sanity returns and I don’t try it. 😉
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Like you, I am struggling with pollen at the moment. My pasty white legs are always pasty white, though, regardless of season.
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Andra, April is the worst allergy month for me. The doc calls it rose fever [as opposed to fall allergies which are hay fever]. I take my pills but I still feel all itchy, twitchy [and dare I say it] bitchy… with bratwurstian legs, of course.
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Ally that was awesome! I am allergic too–on Zyrtec to survive the month. And pick a month at least. Easter is in March then April. I can’t keep track of it each year. It’s the Where’s Waldo of holidays. 🙂
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Kourtney, thanks. Just writing it like I see it! Love, love your description of Easter. Very Waldo-ish.
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LOL. Thanks! It’s how I feel too. I mean Thanksgiving’s date moves around but it’s always in November at least. Easter is hopping all over the calendar.
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“Easter, just pick a Sunday and stick with it.” <— YES.
And you've been looking at my legs, haven't you… Because you describe them perfectly.
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Sarah, apparently wishy-washy Easter drives everyone nuts. I hit a nerve on that one.
So far all my commenters have owned up to having pale legs. We is just a pasty bunch, I guess. Funny the things you learn as you go along in blogging life.
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Although I don’t suffer from allergies(and would whine my head off if I did), most of my family does: my mom, brother, older daughter(grass) and my younger daughter(something unexplained recently that is making her itch all over and have some trouble breathing). So, I am NOT a fan of April either. Spring in a school this time of year is miserable too–sneezing, colds, staffing and numbers issues, politics, just a royal PITA. My legs are white too–I live in WA after all. 🙂
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Margaret, this allergy thing is annoying to be sure. April [and August] are my worst months, but there are OTC drugs now to take care of things. And that’s good, but not dealing with them at all would be better.
As for the white legs, seems to be a thing with my readers. Who knew?
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After a long winter full of expectation as we eagerly await spring temperatures we are greeted with clouds of pollen that drive us back indoors again – sheesh! One day of dazzling sunshine wearing shorts followed by another featuring rain in sheets and me huddled under an umbrella. I just want April to be over so I can uncover my legs and feel the warmth of the sun on them as their shade gradually darkens. May come soon.
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timethief, you’ve said it so well here. All the expectation and then *BAM* I’m stuck inside… still. My patience is wearing thin while I await May’s charms. Next year I say let’s just ditch April and have the calendar go straight from March to May. That’d solve my probs, wouldn’t it? 😉
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Great idea!
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I just realized I am also allergic to April. I walk around in a stupor at least two days out of each week. Damn you pollen, mold, and spores!
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la p, I sympathize. Allergy season is a drag. And once you’ve been exposed to those nasties, all you can do is medicate and wait. Annoying + boring.
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No, it get worse. The bad news is that the medication makes feel the same way I do with the allergies. The good news is I don’t take any of the medications so I am saving money.
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I’m not crazy about April this year, either, because of the whole don’t-breathe-or-you-might-catch-pneumonia thing. However, if it weren’t for April, you wouldn’t have created this excellent post. Thank you.
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Ann, when I wrote this post I had no idea how universally disliked April is. Always thought that it was just me, but apparently everyone has issues with this month. Thanks for stopping by & joining in the whine-fest.
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My pleasure!
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