You know how sometimes when you’re walking along a downtown city street and a person, who is nuttier than a fruitcake soaked in rum, starts shouting nonsensical things at you from the other side of the street?
Well, here’s my suburban equivalent of that city experience.
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Woman on other side of street pointing at passersby as she shouts for no discernible reason.
{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }
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I was sitting outside on our deck, mid-afternoon, reading a catalogue, enjoying the mild October weather.
When BAM-BAM-BAM the neighbor woman who lives behind us on the other side of the wooded ravine started clanking metal objects together. This went on for about a minute.
I was startled, of course, so I looked up from my reading to see what was going on that required this much noise. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.
So I went back to reading my catalogue.
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Me outside my house heading toward the deck to enjoy a bit of fresh air.
{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }
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But that was not the end it. About a minute after she stopped clanking metal objects together she yelled to no one in particular: “Don’t. Feed. The. Birds.”
Then I heard her stomp into her house and slam shut the sliding patio door, leaving me to ponder what the heck she was talking about and who she thought would hear her.
It also made me realize that I needed to thank my lucky stars that the nuttier-than-a-fruitcake suburban neighbor lives way over there on the other side of the ravine.
Far away from me. Forsooth.
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My nutty neighbor decreeing from afar that which we are to do henceforth.
{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }
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Sounds like she might be a good source of future blog fodder. 😉
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Carrie, she might be indeed. She used to be “normal” over there, but since last winter her behavior has gotten, shall we say, peculiar.
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Hopefully she’s not ingesting any heavy metals…
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Agreed. Or any other substance that might lead to erratic, noisy behavior. I like my neighbors mellow!
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Irritate those birds enough and they’ll start suicide flights into those patio doors?
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philmouse, I’m sure that the birds who she wants to go hungry will eventually figure out how to annoy her more. Aim for the patio door. Kind of weird behavior all around, if you ask me.
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Do you have Said Offending Bird Feeder? Personally, I like to feed the birds up here in my area, whether the neighbors get cranked about it or not. (I do, however, have a teensy problem with the people next door who refuse to put lids on their trash cans and attract the raccoons and other wildlife, but I don’t go out and clatter the cookware about it.)
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nance, everyone around here only feeds the birds in the winter when the forested ravine is bare. During the rest of the months the birds do just fine eating from the trees, bushes, plants back there. So why she was shouting this particular sentence in early fall baffles me.
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You forgot to add how she talks to her dogs. And where on Earth did you find those figures? Quite appropriate.
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Zen-Den, I’ll leave that whole situation for another blog post someday… maybe… if she keeps it up.
I found the images at the Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection [links above in post] which I discovered via someone [don’t remember who] on Twitter who is into history. Gotta love tweets that take me to places heretofore unknown to me!
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Sounds like she found poop on her porch. Life without a little poop is not worth living…
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kate, I bet that you’re right. Maybe that’s what she was going on about. Bird poop! As if you’re going to stop that from happening when you live next to the forest primeval.
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My neighbor across the street is like that. She had an arbor with gorgeous wisteria cut down because a bird nested in it and occasionally pooped on her walks (I’m talking occasionally here — I never saw it). On the other hand I have 4 feeders and a heated bird bath for the winter.
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Wow! I’d keep the wisteria and get over the small inconvenience of bird poop. You are a generous soul to provide so much luxury for your wild birds. Bet that your cats love watching the birds!
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They sort of do. As they age, it’s less. Right now Morgan is always caterwauling about something outside the window. When Hazel was young, she destroyed the venetian blinds on the kitchen window in her attempt to catch birds on the other side.
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How funny. Never thought about geriatric cat behavior when it comes to birds. Everyone and everything grows old, eh?
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Y’all dress kinda funny out there in suburbia… I can’t help feeling kind of sorry for this possibly mentally ill person.
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Zazzy, what?!! You don’t like our attire? Pish posh, I say.
And yes, I wonder about the mental health of this woman. I wouldn’t know her if I stood beside her in line at Kroger because, with our houses so far away from each other, we never actually see one another. But when she and I are both outside, I usually hear her.
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I guess she wouldn’t appreciate the owl that was visiting my window last night. All I could hear was “Who? Who?”
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belle, I suspect that an owl might do her in… considering her attitude toward the little birdies of the forest.
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I wouldn’t blame you. I think birds have such a magical charm and I love just to watch them.
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Me too. But apparently not everyone feels the same way that we do!
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I am going to run outside now and scream that at the top of my lungs… “Don’t! Feed! The! Birds!!!!”
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evilsquirrel13, great idea! All the wackiest people are doing that. Good way to get yourself written about in a blog post. 🙂
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Is she older and getting dementia? Where I shop most often is near a homeless camp and those people talk to themselves ALL THE TIME. It’s creepy. I never go there at night.
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Margaret, I wondered the same thing. She used to be quieter and systematic about when she was outside [like she worked outside the home on a strict schedule], but now she’s loud and seems to be outside at all sorts of times of day and night. I really don’t know the woman at all, but I sure did hear her the other day. Harmless behavior, but a little nutty, imho.
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I am a little reluctant to bring this up but your neighbor does have a point. As Mr. Dawes, Senior (President of the bank that Mr. Banks works for in Mary Poppins.) said, “Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds!”
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la p, lol! You, my dear, win the comment of the day award [if I did such a thing]. Excellent point. Well reasoned. Such an astute observation. *clap, clap, clap*
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😉
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