Some of you will remember this neighbor from previous posts…
While shopping at Kroger late in the afternoon on a rainy summer day, I happened to be in the International Food aisle. There were three shoppers with carts in front of me, and the same number behind me.
I was trapped in the middle of the aisle, waiting, staring off into the distance, waiting, not thinking about a thing, when I heard a woman shouting as she came around the corner into the aisle.
“PASTA. I need pasta!”
Then *clank, clank, clank* as she bashed into the carts of the shoppers in front of me pushing them aside as she grabbed pasta off the shelf.
~ ~ • ~ ~
Could it be, I wondered? Was this determined person none other than the neighbor woman who lives on the other side of the ravine?
The neighbor who I’ve never seen up-close in real life?
It sounded like her. Loud.
~ ~ • ~ ~
To make this chance encounter even more memorable, I saw in front of me a this loud woman dressed in a way that set her apart from the rest of us suburbanites quietly shopping in Kroger.
- Her hair, think Phyllis Diller in variety shows in the 1960s.
- Her build and clothing style, think Bea Arthur as Dorothy Zbornak on The Golden Girls in the 1980s.
- Her accessories, think Kristen Wiig as Annie wearing sunnies in the plane scene in Bridesmaids.
‘Twas a sartorial look one does not often find around here. It was unique, with a certain insouciance that made me smile.
~ ~ • ~ ~
Naturally I wanted to follow her around the store. My inner Nancy Drew was on high alert. I needed to know more.
But I was unable to do this because I was trapped in the middle of the aisle, which now had carts + shoppers scattered at all angles.
So I had to watch as she walked away from me, leaving me amazed, and with no one to tell.
Until now.
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 
I admire your “inner Nancy Drew.” I would have run the opposite way as fast as possible. Amazing description, a mind that is much sharper than my Lumosity-trained noggen.
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Zen-Den, why thank you! I wanted to be Nancy Drew when I was a girl.
As for seeing this woman, IF IT WAS WHO I THINK IT WAS, then she’s even more of an enigma than I previously thought. I need the rest of her story.
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Being somewhat brash myself, I would have called out to her to ask if she lived in x neighborhood because I thought she was my neighbor. Gah, I really am turning into my mother. And who doesn’t need pasta? Yum!
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Margaret, I was too stunned to say a word. Her voice was the one I hear over there telling the birds to go away. Or at least I think it was.
As for the pasta, that’s why I was in that aisle. Of course, like me, most of us were waiting our turn to get to the pasta, not shouting and grabbing for it like this woman.
The whole thing was a little bit odd– and funny.
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Oh, I do wish you had been able to go Nancy Drew on her! I want to know more!
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Sarah, me too! She’s fascinated me since she started her war against the birds. There’s a story there, I just know it. 😉
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I’m far more intrigued by the backup of carts at the grocery store. A LINE of carts, simply waiting or hanging about in an aisle? Wow! Was it a weekend? Was there a massive, rare sale on some International Food?
It’s so intriguing!
I was a big Nancy Drew fan early in my youth as well–my much older sister had almost all of the books. Once I read those, I switched over to Trixie Belden, who was more modern and more my age. Did you ever read those?
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nance, it was a cool, rainy summer day. I think that everyone in Kroger was thinking like I was: let’s have warm spaghetti for dinner tonight. Hence, the many peoples and carts in my way.
I didn’t read Trixie Belden, but I’ve always thought that I should read one as an adult because so many woman have mentioned to me how much they liked the Trixie Belden series when they were young. Adding it to the list.
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I’m a bit confused. The Bird Lady was the same person with the Phyliss Diller hairdo or two separate people to go all Nancy Drew on? If the same person, I love it. She’s a perfect picture of who the Bird Lady should be. I think you should go over and bring her a neighborly gift. Maybe four and twenty black birds baked in a pie?
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Zazzy, sorry. Unclear writing there. Will fix.
The Bird Lady is the one who I’m describing with the Phyllis Diller hairdo.
No doubt she’d be my BFF if I showed up at her door with a pie like the one you suggested. But the question is: do I want her as a friend? 0.o
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A neighbor that doesn’t like birds but lives in a setting that has it. Sounds like my neighbor. Doesn’t like critters but we are a half mile from a wildlife preserve and you know those critters don’t understand where the boundary line is.
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Kate, your neighbor does sound a little like our neighbor– at least in the lack of logic department. Beats me why some people do what they do. But their behavior does make for good stories!
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Well, at least you were able to turn your shopping experience into a mystery. That outta numb the pain a little. (Can you tell I hate going to the grocery store?…)
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Carrie, exactly! I was so bored standing there in that aisle waiting to buy pasta, when the things got interesting. Sadly I never caught sight of her again while shopping. But I kept looking for her. She added a game element to grocery shopping.
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So the search for the bird hating lady is still on then… it is the little things in life that keep us entertained and amused as well as a good plate of pasta on a wet day! Let us know if you ever see her!
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lovetotrav, I’ll write about her IF I see her again. Or hear her again, I suppose. She’s a character with a great story, I just sense it!
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Sartorial? Insouciance? “Inner Nancy Drew”? Harkening back to your recent contemplation of the Bean’s ban on curse words, lemme just say: obscenities rarely have such texture and snap as one can achieve by fully embracing all that English’s non-obscene lexicon offers. Maybe I should consider a similar prohibition on my own site??
Except no. Just no. Even thinking about how I might pull that off? Fuuu…
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Alice, making me laugh here. I enjoy words, so what better place to use them with abandon than on a personal blog? In real life I use fewer big words and have been known to drop the F-bomb when the situation warrants. But here in the blogosphere I’m PG-13ish when I write.
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