If We Were Having Coffee On This November Morning…

/ Ally Bean

THE SETTING:  

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We’d be sitting in my living room, staying dry, looking outside at the Halloween decorations still on display. 

We’d be drinking cafe mocha that I made for us.

We’d be listening to the local classical radio station because it makes for a laid-back atmosphere– and it’s fun, once in a while, to let a radio station pick your tunes.

THE CONVERSATION:

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√  We’d be chatting… about how this week, after weeks of trying, I won Level 90 in AlphaBetty Saga and how I believe there’s no disgrace in giving up on a game when it becomes too challenging for you.  Bye, bye, Betty!

√  We’d be sharing… our latest TV obsessions, which in my case is Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, made in Australia and set in Melbourne in the late 1920s.  I’d recommend them for the sheer entertainment of seeing a smart + sassy + stylish flapper detective, named Phryne, show the boys how it’s done.

√  We’d be talking… about how I’m trying to decide if I’m going to continue on blogging, or if I’m going to let it go.  I’d be saying how this hobby has become a part-time job.  And while it’s good that it keeps my brain clicking and my heart open, I’m finding that I’m unsure about who is following me– and why.  Which makes me a little uneasy.

√  We’d be laughing… about how the Bengals, our local NFL franchise who used to be called the Bungles, beat the team from the Mistake on the Lake.  And we’d wonder, chuckling at the old-time Ohio insider joke, if either of these NFL teams could beat OSU!

√  We’d be planning… when we could get together next, knowing our December holiday schedules were already filling up.  And lamenting, but in a good way, how every year the invitations come earlier and earlier.

THE CONCLUSION:

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We’d have to part after about an hour or so because weekend obligations are just that– things that must be done. 

We’d hug and promise to get together sometime after the holidays when life returns to normal.

And we’d thank each other for listening to & commenting on our joys and woes.  Like friends do.  Everywhere.  Over a mug of coffee.

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Idea for this post came from Diana at Part-Time Monster.

• • •

49 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee On This November Morning…”

  1. Sure hope you continue blogging. I enjoy your posts. As for followers, I’m never sure about that. I have a lot of followers but it’s not reflected in views so I think they have an ulterior motive for following me and it doesn’t involve reading my posts.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kate, lately I’ve realized that while I have lots of followers, they comment in sporadic and unpredictable ways. There seem to be 2 different groups: those who like information and those who like attitude. In the olden times when blogging was new, everyone who read a post commented on it. Now, people just come and go, leaving me to wonder why they’re here to begin with.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Not sure I can help you with that. I comment when I have something to say although if 50 other people have already commented, I usually just pass. You have to blog for yourself because people are nuts! (Yes, I know you know that!)

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      • Ally, I blog to get my writing out there. Or, at least, that’s how it started out but now it’s also a social outlet and there are bloggers I touch base with at least a few times a week and we’ve become friends. It’s 11.00PM here Monday night and I’m now unwinding before bed with a decaf tea and everyone else is asleep and I don’t watch much TV.
        As for following people, many of the blogs I read most don’t pop up in my reader so I’m not sure what that’s about. I go through my list now and then to catch up on those that are slipping through the net. For me, blogging is almost as much about reading as writing…just like a conversation xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m right where you are re: my blog. Sometimes, it feels too much like work. I started in 2005, and maybe I don’t have anything else to say…? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it (also a Lot Of Work!), but no decision yet. It’s sad; I think the advent of other, briefer social media has gutted blogs. I miss the community.

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    • nance, I miss the community, too. Knowing that there was a group of people who cared about and engaged with me, was what kept me blogging early on. Now I feel like a leaf in the wind, uncertain about what to write about and who’ll show up here next. It’s unsettling… but maybe ultimately it’s freeing?

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  3. Oh blogging…It’s actually refreshing to read that I’m not the only one struggling with the why and who and what of it all. I haven’t been blogging for as long as many have…I got a late start…but the past few years have had me shifting and changing what I do in search for the ever elusive community feel. I’ve found that there are different pockets of people who comment in different places…they may see my link on facebook, pop over to the blog and read the post, then go *back to facebook to comment! Strange to me, but it is what it is. I would prefer a community just on the blog, and there are those readers out there, but they are few and far between with the instant gratification of social media. In the end, though, I’ve decided to keep the blog and do what I want to do with no chasing. The readers will either come or they won’t ad they’ll either stay of they won’t, but I’ll maintain the space and write about what I want to write and hope that it resonates with someone besides myself 🙂

    Whew!

    All that aside, I hope you have a lovely weekend filled with the necessities and some fun!

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    • Melissa, you’ve explained the conundrum that I’m facing. Without a sense of community I feel like I’m performing on stage for a sometimes indifferent, sometimes enthused audience. I’m more of a backstage hand in real life, so putting myself up there on the stage as an entertainer is taking some getting used to. I long for what blogging used to be, but realize, like nance said above, that briefer social media have changed blogging forever.

      Thanks for stopping by to comment. I look forward to visiting your blog.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Seems a lot of us are questioning our blogs. I’m beginning to think it’s an annual thing, maybe as the year winds down and we assess where we’re at, we question everything.

    You have a pretty dedicated group of readers who do comment fairly regularly. I’d say that set enjoys the way you think and write. What about the others?

    I have a small set of people that read and comment. I know a few more people read, or at least visit. I have no idea how many people read from an rss reader or other aggregator. I wish that they would engage in the conversation but I kind of hope that something I write has meaning for them. After all, I read way more blogs than I comment on. I enjoy them but I don’t feel part of their community. I stretch that now and then, but you know me. I don’t often take the risk.

    Is it okay, for you, to know that people may be reading who will never comment, never be part of your community? Perhaps they enjoy your unique take on things and just enjoy reading.

    I love the eyeballs, by the way. Are those your’s or are you trying to scare the birds away?

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    • Zazzy, I bet that you’re right about blog self-doubt being a seasonal thing. Like hay fever!

      For me the issue about blogging has become what you alluded to above. Am I comfortable with lurkers who never engage? My answer is: I don’t know. I’m not a performer by nature so to put myself up on the blogging stage without knowing my audience makes me a little anxious.

      And about the eyeballs… you made me laugh out loud. The eyeballs, which blink when plugged in btw, are ours. Crazy neighbor lady wasn’t trying to scare away the birds with them, but good question… considering her past behavior.

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  5. I must be one of the attitude commemters, always in with something smart alecky to say! Your post got me to thinking of how I wound up coming upon your blog in the first place… with most of my followers, I know how I first came upon them… but I can’t recall in your case, except that I’m sure Fuzzy had something to do with it. I am a total pushover for a cute, slightly devilish squirrel….

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    • evilsquirrel13, Fuzzy has helped make me the blogger I am today. He is [am hoping not was] a goofball who everyone can relate to, so I have no trouble believing Fuzzy is the one who got you here initially. And I’m happy that once here you decided to stick around.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have been blogging forever. I did take about a year and a half off. Not intentionally but I just got out of the practice and kept out, even though I meant to return to it. Last year, in August I decided that I was going to commit to it again and I managed to blog every day from the end of September until mid April when I had surgery and didn’t blog every day for about a month. Then I came back again. It’s what I do. I need the outlet. I don’t work and I don’t leave the house much so this is my outlet and I have followers that are now friends, some that have been following me for over seven or eight years. So I blog. And then I blog. And then I do its some more!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Corina, you’re an inspiration! “So I blog. And then I blog. And then I do it some more.” Love it. That is such a delightful pragmatic point of view– and one that I should adopt as my own. Thanks for stopping by & commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Glad you joined us this week—I like the way you formatted your post.

    I think we all question our blogs from time to time—and all blogs have a life-cycle. The nice thing about blogging is that you can put it down and pick it up again when you need or want to.

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  8. I’ve been wondering about my own ability to keep blogging. I’m finding it more difficult to keep it in balance. I’ll have to see how the next month or two goes. We’ll see how we fare. 🙂

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  9. Hi. I look at it as if I were an author, I wouldn’t have a clue who was reading my books. If that worried me I wouldn’t write or blog in the first place. Blogging is the same except that there is a community that gets built up that you communicate with on a more regular basis. People who you know are interested in the same subjects, have the same disease, like dogs as much as you do or writing or whatever. These are the people that I find make it difficult for me to leave blogging. I enjoy our conversations and I learn. I did find when I first started most of my followers did have another agenda especially how you could pay them money to tell you how you could make money without lifting a finger. They had all thrown their jobs in and living a life of leisure in a resort style location. I don’t get them anymore or if I do I don’t know about it. I have never sought followers although I do try and visit everyone who follows me but even that is falling behind. Life has to happen and you do what you can around that without getting too stressed about it.
    Hope you have a good week.

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    • Irene Waters, I think that you’ve nailed why I end up continuing on with this blog: I enjoy the conversations with and learn from my various commenters. You made me smile with your reference to the people who want to teach me how to blog my way to riches. As if! I just ignore those folks. I comment on lots of blogs, but not everything that I read prompts me to have something to say. So I understand why people don’t always comment here, but I do feel lately that there are lots of readers who are here for reasons I can’t figure. And I just don’t know how I feel about that. ‘Ya know?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Please keep on blogging. I LOVE reading your posts! You are so insightful on so many topics. It always makes my day:) The Halloween eyes are great. I bet they look “spooky” at night. Interesting conversation you “would have had”. I’m not a very good game player, so I avoid them. I’m loving Poldark on PBS. And I like listening to classical music while on the computer or in my studio painting. The holidays are always frantic for me with all the music gigs. It has begun!

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    • Beth, thanks for the encouragement. I like blogging, but it does take a chunk of time to make it happen. The Halloween eyes are hilarious at night– they blink! I’ve never seen Poldark but have heard of it. Maybe after I’ve finished Downton Abbey I’ll give it a go. I like classical music when I’m feeling creative in the kitchen or when I’m writing. Or when I’m having imaginary coffee with virtual friends, of course! 😉

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  12. There are people who lurk who feel that they have nothing to add to the conversation or who are frightened of what others would think of their comment. I had many lurkers come out when Patt got sick and died. They read my blog regularly, but were too shy to comment. I don’t even look at my blog stats because it’s not why I blog. I love to write, and vent and have a record of my life. I would very much enjoy having coffee with you for many reasons: mochas are my favorite, I adore classical music and I feel like I would be relaxed around you. You seem like a calm and logical, as well as extremely interesting and intelligent person!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, you raise an interesting point about why lurkers lurk. Hadn’t thought of that before. I don’t pay much attention to my stats, either– but I know that I am being followed by people all over the world. Thanks for the compliments. By all means if you should find yourself in this part of the world, we’ll have coffee. Or beer. Or both! Wouldn’t that be fun? 😉

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  13. Oh hell. I just wrote a long-winded response and did something and all was gone.

    I shall spare you my blathering by saying, please don’t go, I just met you and I like your style!

    I blog for the community and have amasingly become friends with some of my fellow bloggers. It’s great when there is an exchange and when I comment, I love to get a response (I’ll give everyone two chances. No response? No more comments!)

    I went through some really difficult times last December and was blown away by the love that came my way from all around the world. I think you get out of blogging what you put it. Sure there will be trolls and lurkers. They are not who we should spend our time on anyway!

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    • Dale, you make an excellent point. Just ignore the trolls and lurkers, focus on the people who know how to join in. I like your rule about commenting elsewhere. It reminds me of bowling: two tries, and if the pins don’t go down, you’re finished with this frame & onto your next attempt to roll a strike. Also, thank you for your kind words about my little bloggy. Looking forward to reading what you have to say.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Phil, the Browns once ruled it all, but of late… not so much. I could care less about the NFL, truth be known, but the Bengals are doing well this year so I thought that I’d join in the happy fray.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh, the old blogging song and dance. I know this one well!

    I’ve learned to take a step back any time I’m feeling overwhelmed, and this year I took the whole summer off. Because even going on my fourth year, I still love it. More than anything, I love the relationships I’ve made here. That’s what keeps me going.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Britt, I enjoy writing and connecting through this blog. But blogging has changed over time & now I feel more like a performer on stage than I used to. I think that’s what I have to wrap my head around if I am to continue on. There’s an audience out there that I’ll never know personally. And that’s just how it is.

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  16. After this long, insightful series of comments on blogging, I had to jump in to say one thing. Even though I now follow another NFL team (cough cough..the Colts), as a native southwestern Ohioan, I love it that the Bungles (ahem, pardon me, old habits die hard) the BENGALs are doing so well this year. And yes, they could undoubtedly beat OSU. But OSU will win the BCS again, in my opinion. I now return you to your regularly scheduled comments.

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    • Nooce, thank you for your comment on a topic other than blogging! Nice to hear from someone who remembers when the Bengals were the Bungles. Who’d have thought that they’d turn into the team they are today?

      When I posted this I had no idea that the should I stay blogging or should I go? topic would be of so much interest to so many. I anticipated that we’d be talking about all the things I mentioned above. But apparently I hit a nerve with my self-doubt + confusion about the state of the blogosphere. Love all the comments, but oh my!

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  17. I wonder if the doubt is part of the lifecycle of any “project”? Throwing yourself in with great enthusiasm at the start and maybe having some success or not and depending on that, you take it to the next level. I took up the violin 3 years ago, not long before I started blogging. I have gone through times where I’ve re-evaluated both of them and wondered whether to continue. While the blog just has a time commitment, my violin lessons are expensive, although my Dad pays for them. AT the moment, I’m back on board with the violin after about 18 months of drifting a long. I had doubts about the blog last year and then received a few awards, which seemed to attract new people and then I did the A-Z April Blog Share and I haven’t looked back. I have found a great community online but I’ve particularly extroverted and I leave comments most of the time, which would help. It just feels very natural for me to reply.

    Liked by 1 person

    • rowee, I think that you’re right about the lifecycle of a project; they’re all up and down as they go along. I’m glad that you mentioned the A-Z challenge. I plan on doing it next April… if I’m still around! 😉 Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your take on things.

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  18. I am pretty sure I don’t want to know why some people follow me online. Or Choppy, for that matter. Actually, mostly Choppy. I have seen all the creepy when it comes to me, I think.

    Also, those lights are pretty awesome.

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    • Sarah, you make a good point. I don’t need to know who’s out there as long as they don’t bother me, I won’t bother them! The lights blink when plugged in btw. At night they were a hilarious, looked like goblins were hiding in the trees by the house.

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