In case you were thinking I was just another blogging floozy, let me share with you, my gentle readers, the following conversation in which my wordsmith-y skills came in pretty darned handy. Score one point for Team Wife.
# # #
HUSBAND, aka chubby hubby, getting up off sofa, declaring loudly on his way to bed: BE A SHARK, NEVER STOP MOVING.
ME, laughing: You look nothing like a shark. There’s no sharkness about you. I think you should say…
HUSBAND, trying to look stern: DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT.
ME, coyly: Say what?
HUSBAND, grumpy: Beached whale. Don’t tell me I look like a BEACHED WHALE. Or Santa Claus.
ME, sincerely: That’s not what I was going to say. You don’t look anything like Santa, you don’t have a white beard… yet.
HUSBAND, irritated, but curious: What were you going to say?
ME, smiling: I was going to say: BE A MANATEE, NEVER STOP GROOVING.
HUSBAND, sighing: Huh? I don’t want to be a manatee.
ME, cheerful: Why? They’re cute. And groovy.
HUSBAND, defeated: Because all they eat is lettuce. I DON’T WANNA ALWAYS EAT LETTUCE. Forever.
ME, attempting to be empathetic but failing miserably due to a fit of giggles: Yes, I can see that’s true already.
# # #
Our conversation, more or less about lettuce, reminded me of this, my favorite Simpsons quote, which seems like the perfect way to end this rather ridiculous blog post about, of all things, lettuce.
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 
That tune is going to haunt me all day!
LikeLike
Kate, I know! I couldn’t help but think of it after talking with Zen-Den. Lettuce, source of angst! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your conversations are always so different…….in a good way! You go together like two peas in a pod:) And by the way, I love the snow coming down on your blog!
LikeLike
Beth, we do have do have our wacky moments! Occasionally I remember to write them down here. The snow is courtesy of WordPress. Festive, eh?
LikeLike
I so enjoy you and Zen Den. Be a manatee indeed! That may be my new mantra.
LikeLike
Zazzy, why thank you! I agree, it would make a good mantra. Considering more of us look like manatees than sharks, it makes more sense. 🙂
LikeLike
It would be hard to never stop moving – I think I’d rather be a manatee.
LikeLike
Sheila, I’m with you. Manatees are nicer than sharks, and so much cuter, too. What’s not to love?
LikeLike
“BE A MANATEE, NEVER STOP GROOVING.”—Should be a new slogan for sure! Loved the video clip. No wonder my kids won’t eat salad. They must’ve seen that Simpson’s episode.
LikeLike
Carrie, yes, yes, yes! Manatees are groovy, but Z-D sure didn’t seem to think so– fixated as he was on their diet of lettuce. Honestly, sometimes it seems that my zany sense of humor is lost on him!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know the feeling…
LikeLike
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why wouldn’t Zen Den want to be a manatee? Manatees are cool, just like bow-ties.
LikeLike
la p, exactly! Totally cool. In fact I bet if we searched long enough we could find an episode of Dr. Who with a manatee in it. 😉
LikeLike
OOOO, I’d watch that episode.
LikeLike
Uh, manatees are adorbs! Boys = dumb. 🙂 ~Tara
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tara, my point exactly. I offer the opportunity to be a groovy mammal and what do I get? A complaint!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is what I miss the most about marriage–the silly conversations that lead down funny/weird paths. 🙂
LikeLike
Margaret, I’m sorry those conversations have been taken away from you. They are part and parcel of my life, our life together. This conversation was no weirder than the rest, but seemed insightful/interesting in its own wacky way… so I shared it here.
LikeLike
Boys = dumb . . . what’s her point? Bon Eber, Blog.
LikeLike
Zen-Den, I think what you’re trying to say is: Bon Hiver which is French for Good Winter, or something like that. Is it snowing where you are? Are you trying to deflect the conversation away from manatees, cuteness of said? Hmmm?
LikeLike
Always be yourself, unless you can be a manatee…
Oh, the huge manatee…
LikeLiked by 1 person
evilsquirrel13, manatees rock– or roll, I guess. Whatever. They’re a good thing to be.
LikeLike