In Which I Grumble Upon Learning My Husband’s Ringtone For Me

/ Ally Bean

My cell phone, which is a flip phone and about 10 years old [don’t judge], has decided to stop me from writing or receiving texts.

Thus it came to be that instead of texting my husband, which is how we usually communicate, I phoned Zen-Den– and learned a little something about what he really thinks of me.

• • •

Him: Hey it’s you! Forgot what your ringtone was.

Me: Yep, can’t text, so must call.  What’s my ringtone?

Him: Some organ music.

Me: Like from the movie The Big Chill?  You can’t always get what you want… I’m what you need?!

Him: No, that’s not it…

Me: Like a church organ playing Amazing Grace? How sweet the sound… I’m your honey?!

Him: No, that’s not it either…

Me: Well, what is it then?

Him: It’s organ music like you’d hear at the intermission of a hockey game while the Zamboni man resurfaces the ice in the rink.

Me: Huh? THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE GOT ON YOUR PHONE FOR ME?!!  You’ve got an iPhone that lets you download about eleven gazillion plus seven songs, and that’s what you pick for me?

Him: Uh huh. It was easy to find and put on the phone.

Me: So besides being useful for cleaning floors, I’m easy– AND NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO FIND A BETTER SONG FOR MY RINGTONE.  That’s what you’re saying?!!

Him: Yes?

Me: I see. Now I know. Okay then.

Him: Well what do you want me to put on there for you? Black Sabbath?

• • •

That’s when I let the topic drop because I wanted Zen-Den to do something for me, and in that moment it didn’t seem to be in my best interest to press the issue.

However, this is a different moment.

And I’ve been thinking about Zen-Den’s ringtone for moi, which I believe is entirely wrong. In many ways. On lots of levels.

In other words, I don’t like it.

• • •

All of this leads to my question of the day, which is:

Given your druthers, what ringtone song do you prefer to represent you on someone else’s phone?

I need a few suggestions here.  A marriage hangs in the balance.

• • •

54 thoughts on “In Which I Grumble Upon Learning My Husband’s Ringtone For Me”

  1. I don’t think I have a specific ringtone on anyone’s phone, which is just fine. I like the ringtones that people used for the first 125 years phones were in existence much better than some silly old song anyway…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My husband has a flip phone like yours and just as old so there is no special ring tone for me. No one else calls me that much so I have no idea what song (if any) they would chose for me. I think a Zamboni song would be a good thing if he likes ice hockey.

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  5. When I call my sons, the following line from David Bowie’s song plays, “Let’s dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the Blues.”

    (Oh, I love red high heels!)

    As a side note:

    For years and years, my phone’s ring tone was the Christmas carol “Joy to the World.” Year round. This was because I was constantly unaware that it was MY PHONE THAT WAS RINGING. I always assumed it was someone else’s and never answered my cell. Finally, I learned that if I heard Christmas music when it was decidedly Not Christmas, it was likely my phone. During the Holidays, it was finally a Habit unaffected by the Season.

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    • nance, I like your ringtone song choice. It fits you.

      Am laughing at how you overcame your inability to understand the call was for you. It’s a perfect solution to the problem. I wonder if I’ll need to do something like that, too, when I get a smart phone. This old phone of mine is so antiquated that I’ve never dealt with ringtones before.

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  6. I picked the soon to be hubby’s favorite song by Sade; my standard ring tone is “Wanted” by Bon Jovi, makes me feel like a bad-ass when the phone rings. Um…for my friends, I picked songs that reminded me of their personalities. My daughter’s is Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody” (she loves that song) and mom’s is “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan…I’ve got way too much music in the library not to play around with it every once in awhile and switch things up. Hoping that Zen-Den reads this post and comes to his senses before we’re hearing “Baby Come Back” by Hall & Oats.

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    • Dana, lol here! Your logic about which songs to use is perfect. I’ll keep that in mind as I’m choosing which song will be me. And your suggestion to Zen-Den is priceless. Let’s see if he catches on before that song becomes my ringtone. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t have special ring tones, and neither does my husband. I wouldn’t like to be the organ music from a hockey game, either. I’d hope for something more … meaningful. Now I’m wondering what other people might have me ringing them with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey, I agree with you that the song needs to have some meaning to it, nothing all that deep– but something that makes a modicum of sense. I, too, have begun to wonder the same thing about what other people use for my ringtone. Curious, but wary.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. My ring tone on the hubby’s phone is Vader’s March, which he is quick to point out was my personal request. I think it reflects my geekhood as well as reinforcing why he needs to stop whatever he is doing to take my call. His ring tone on mine is a simple bell ring as we have both discovered my ears don’t pick up musical ring tones until the call has already gone to voice mail.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Haha, I’m sorry, I barely got past the “I have a flip-phone part.” 😉

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist. My hubs probably doesn’t know how to set the ringtones on his phone, but as long as he doesn’t assign me the barking dog, I’m good.

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  10. Ally, I recommend a Journey song for you on your husband’s phone. How about “Open Arms” or “Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin?” I think the nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah part of the latter song would be especially cool.

    As for myself, I would be honored to be represented by AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck,” because it has Biker Chick written all over it.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I haven’t set up any special ringtones for anyone on my iPhone. I just look at the phone and see who it is. 🙂 Plus, my phone is on silent during the school day anyway. I would like something by Bowie, like Starman. Right now Under Pressure would work well. (end of the semester) 🙂

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    • Margaret, I can understand how ringtones are pointless for you. Until you need them, why bother? Your choices for your ringtone song are good ones. They make sense, which is all I’m asking for with my ringtone song. Is that so much to want?

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  12. Ally, my wife has the standard ringtone for me and I for her. I did have a special ringtone for her and the family so I know one of them is calling.

    I have a friend who had “dueling banjos” from the movie Deliverance!

    Jim

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    • Jim, laughing here. Deliverance, eh? I don’t think that we’re quite that combative, but I can appreciate how it might be that Deliverance would be a good ringtone song for some couples. Thanks for the suggestion. 😉

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  13. The James Bond Theme is what I use as my ringtone for everyone (it rings infrequently enough that I don’t bother changing it for individuals. I like TV theme songs, so maybe one of them (“Yakety Sax,” the one “The Benny Hill Show” uses when they’re running around after each other, the “Batman” theme, “The Green Hornet” theme, etc.). I’m not that fussy…

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I actually like hockey, but the zamboni cleanup music? No. Even “The Hey Song” would be better! I have a very uncool phone but great ringtones. My husband gets Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” and if my family calls from the house phone, it’s “Sound of Madness” by Shinedown. Everyone else gets the musical interlude part of “February 7” by the brilliant Avett Brothers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nancy, I like hockey, too. And baseball and football, but I don’t want any songs associated with any sport to be my ringtone. I’m fussy like that! I like your logic re: your ringtones. All of them sound perfect. [Pun not intended.]

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I was in a meeting. Suddenly the theme song from the 70s TV show “Wonder Woman” starts playing. A coworker, his face very red, took his phone out and answered it by saying, “Sorry Dear, I’m in a meeting. I’ll call back later.”

    I don’t use personalized ring tones, but that was one of the best ones I’ve ever heard….

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  17. My husband and I have flip phones (no judgment here), so we don’t get fancy ring tones. But my preference would be Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation.” So not true, but ringtones should be whimsical and escapist, not bring us down to harsh reality.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I feel like such a cool kid right now. 😀 But yeah, ringtones! Dave’s tone for me was the intro to the muppets. “It’s time to play the music. It’s time to light the lights!” A little silly but it suited us both. 🙂 Thanks for the smiles! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • rarasaur, that’s a perfect ringtone. I can understand how that fit you and your relationship. Silly can be a good thing. Thanks for joining the ranks of the cool kids with this comment.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Norm 2.0, I do too. And soon, after I get a smart phone and figure out how to download a ringtone onto it, I predict that Zen-Den’s ringtone for me is going to change mysteriously in the middle of the night.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m divorced so I don’t know that I can help but how about something like You Are the Sunshine of My Life? Or the theme to a favorite TV show or movie of yours? I have my main phone call ringtone is the theme to The Godfather, my favorite movie. My youngest daughter is Susie so her ringtone is Susy Q. My older daughter is everything California so her ringtone is California Girls by the Beach Boys. And my son is always on the move and used to work for a major online retailer so his ringtone is the theme song for the a Kindle commercial, Fly Me Away. So there’s a lot to consider and pick and choose!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Corina, those are wonderful choices for ringtones. They all make sense, unlike this organ music nonsense. I’ve thought about the theme from Bewitched, a TV show I loved as a girl, or Eric Clapton’s Layla– because those are both about strong women who are in control of their men!

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