A 3-Question Pop Quiz On Guttering & Muttering

/ Ally Bean
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Q1: What is wrong with this picture?

A. Not a thing… did I ever mention my favorite artist is Salvador Dali?

B. How clever! You’ve built a sliding board for Fuzzy the Squirrel.

C. It looks like some more of the gutter has fallen off the back of your house… AGAIN.

D. What’s wrong with this?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

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Q2: What caused this gutter to come undone?

A. I don’t understand the question… you know Dali painted some surreal works with absurd off-kilter angles just like this gutter.

B. A squirrel jumped up and down about a hundred thousand times on the gutter.

C. Ally Bean allowed herself to dream of buying a new laptop computer for herself, not because she needs one, but because she WANTS one.

D. What caused this to come undone?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

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Q3: What did Ally Bean mutter when she saw what had happened?

A. I imagine, like Salvador’s work, her words were a bizarre juxtaposition of pathos and profundity, of oddness and obviousness.  A mélange of commonplace utterances and curse words.

B. Where is that damned squirrel!

C. Holy Fricking Mole-y! I gotta call Z-D, who is, of course, out-of-town on business, to tell him I’M. NOT. HAPPY.

D. What did she say?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

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36 thoughts on “A 3-Question Pop Quiz On Guttering & Muttering”

  4. it looks likes the gutter that Chevy Chase slid down in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

    Minus the snow and ice.

    Fun post, Ally. Keep your sense of humor locked and loaded!

    Liked by 1 person

    • nrhatch, had not thought of that before, but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m laughing here. If I took this home ownership thing too seriously, I’d be in the insane asylum. I do my best to keep the house in one piece, but Chez Bean often has other ideas.

      Liked by 1 person

    • evil, oh sure, look on the bright side of things. Be all happy about this. Just wait until it happens to your house and you find out how much it costs to repair it…

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      • My guttering is already pretty much shot and will have to be replaced when I finally decide to get a new roof, which will probably have to be soon. Last Spring, I had a nice garden growing in the gutters above my garage door…

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, replacing roof and gutters at the same time makes sense. I think a garden in the gutter would prompt me to consider getting on with things. Of course, a few well-placed tomato seeds up there could give you the harvest of a lifetime, which might be a better choice. You decide.

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    • Zazamataz, in this region gutters fall down with some regularity. Lots of rain + tornadic winds that gust out of nowhere + cheapass builders who use staples instead of nails = gutters down. As evidenced by the above photos! *grumble*

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  8. Oh crap! Why do things always happen when the hubby is out of town? That is what happens here. We actually ended up taking down the gutters that we put up on the back of the house because we could never keep them clear of debris with all the trees around. Very few people in our neighborhood have gutters—weird, huh? Best of luck to you!

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    • Beth, I wish I knew the answer to your question. Usually when Z-D isn’t around it’s something loud that goes wrong, like the smoke alarms or the security system. At least this is a quiet small disaster! I know that in various parts of the country people don’t even have gutters, but I’ve never lived among these folks. Think of the money you’re saving by not replacing/fixing the darned things! 🙂

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    • John, you are absolutely right– both about the answers and about the being an adult stuff. Gutters are stupid. And expensive. And do not bring me any immediate sense of happiness. However, adult that I am…

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  10. Umm. Perhaps Fuzzy is…
    A.) In need of a diet
    B.) Is really preferring the name Frank these days.
    C.) Trying to tell you that without him, your own nut gathering days be numbered.
    D.) What the actual frick is going on with your gutters?!?

    Liked by 2 people

    • bitsfromheaven,
      A. Yes, Fuzzy needs to lose a few ounces.
      B. Will ask him about it.
      C. No doubt that Fuzzy is trying to tell me something which involves nuts of some sort– when has he not been doing that? 😉
      D. I have to admit that I don’t think that Fuzzy brought this gutter down. The builder used staples where he should have used nails, which means the stupid gutter has always been a bit dodgy up there. It was just a matter of time. *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

  11. My sympathies. The Joys Of Being A Homeowner.

    My furnace is making noises. This after it started gushing water from the humidifier thingy.

    Hate House Stuff.

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    • Oh nance, NOT THE FURNACE! My condolences. Ours went kablooey a few years ago and had to be replaced… for a huge amount of the dollars. House Stuff: tries the patience while emptying the bank account. 😦

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  12. So, may I ask exactly what does cause that to happen? I’ve seen it around here too.House repair is the bane of my existence. It makes doing fun stuff less likely. I have a leak I need to find, and get SOMEONE to fix. I’m seeing a few ants around. My kitchen needs a remodel. I could go on. And on. And on…

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    • Margaret, underneath the roof along the eaves is a long strip of wood. The gutters are then nailed into that strip of wood. Our builder used staples, instead of nails, to attach that strip of wood to the eaves. Over time the strip of wood has come loose because of the weight of the gutters + high winds + squirrels. This has caused the strip of wood to break & when that happens, down come the gutters. Boom.

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    • In My Cluttered Attic, excellent point about the caution tape. Of course, knowing Fuzzy he’d probably steal it, take it up to his nest in the tree, and then use it as decoration around his doorway, where we’d see it daily for the rest of eternity because we can’t climb up there to take it down. That’s likely, yes?

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