Pillow Talk: Of Snowy Nights and Annoying Logic

/ Ally Bean

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT I woke up with itchy eyes.  I have lots of boring medical problems with my eyes so this happens.

Downstairs on the kitchen counter was a bottle of prescription eye drops that I knew would relieve my itchy eyes, but it was all. the. way. downstairs. and I was toasty warm in our bed upstairs.

Botheration.

However, I couldn’t get back to sleep so I begrudgingly got up and went downstairs at 3:00 a.m. to instill [that’s medical lingo!] a drop in each eye.

Of course while I was downstairs waiting for the drops to do their thing, I glanced out the window to see what was happening outside.

Curiosity.  Or habit.  Maybe both.

I dunno for sure, but I took a look-see.  Just ‘cuz.

~ • ~

screen-shot-2017-01-09-at-11-21-45-am

Is this me OR is this a showgirl featured in a promotional photo for the New York World’s Fair (1939-1940)? { source }

~ • ~

ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER I WENT back upstairs to bed where I thought I quietly slipped into bed again.  But apparently my blanket shuffling was more disruptive than I realized and I awakened Z-D.

After politely inquiring if I was “ok” Z-D, who knows my habits, asked what the weather was like outside.  I told him that it had snowed, but that it had only snowed on the grass, not on the sidewalk, driveway, and street.

He mumbled: “that can’t be.”

I assured him that was what had happened outside.  It had snowed on the lawn, not on the hard surfaces.  I’d seen it.

Again he said: “can’t happen.”

Then he rolled over away from me taking the covers with him and began to snore.  I would have ignored him entirely but he had swiped too much of the blanket and I wanted my part back.

~ • ~

screen-shot-2017-01-09-at-11-29-56-am

Is this our bedroom OR is this a photo from the New York World’s Fair (1939-1940) Town of Tomorrow Exhibit? { source }

~ • ~

SO I TUGGED ON THE BLANKET which roused him again.

At which point, in his sleepy daze as if the conversation about the weather was still ongoing, he said to me: “you’d have to be some kind of stupid to not know that snow falls on everything outside.  It just doesn’t land on the grass, it falls on hard surfaces, too, where you don’t see it because it’s melted.”

And with that he fell fast asleep, leaving me, the stupid person, to realize that: 1) he was absolutely right;  & 2) I had no more interest in talking to him if he was going to use annoying old logic.

I mean, really– this is a man who can’t find his car keys at noon when they’re on the kitchen counter right in front of him, but he can tap into meteorological reasoning when awakened from a sound sleep in the middle of the night?

Who does that?  Honestly…

Meh.

60 thoughts on “Pillow Talk: Of Snowy Nights and Annoying Logic”

  4. I think much pillow bashing would be avoided by teaching young people, as an essential life skill, to roll over in bed without dragging the covers along. Conversations at the edge of sleep? That’s a whole other matter. LOL

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  7. I’m with you! Many times I’ve seen it snow on just the grass and bushes and not the sidewalks or streets. Okay, so it’s melted or just not stuck to the hard surfaces but that’s just semantics. It’s amazing you didn’t smother him in his sleep!

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  8. Stupid is one of my least favorite words. I make it a point to correct mine when he attempts to use it. Not sure I would have had the presence of mind to hit him with the pillow either but maybe put my cold feet on him. 🙂 Thanks for the chuckles.

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  9. I think that you have to use the condition of time in this one, and of course some weird Aristoltean philosophical crap as well. Of course the snow fell EVERYWHERE, but… if it melted instantaneously on the hard surfaces then was it ever really there to begin with…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Deb, I like how you’re thinking here. Yes, that is the question: if it melted instantaneously on the hard surfaces then was it ever really there to begin with? I’m going to use your logic as my reasoning for what I said. Couldn’t have been that I was sleepy… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Actually – it makes total sense to me that there would be snow on the grass and not on the sidewalks or roads. It just wasn’t cold enough to stick on those surfaces. Right? I’ve seen that before. My husband makes fun of me, because when I get “rain headaches” – 3 days before it actually rains, he laughs and says the weather doesn’t call for rain, but then 3 days later, when the rain is chucking down – who is laughing then – me!!!!

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    • SD Gates, what you described is what happened. If it had been any other time but the middle of the night I’d have said what happened better. But you know, sleepy. I like that you’re able to predict weather so accurately. This seems like an ability that could make you a gifted weather forecaster. You’re probably more reliable than all those charts and science-y stuff the people on the Weather Channel use. 😉

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  12. It’s the way the mind works. I’m the same way: I can recite the Greek alphabet and much of the Latin Mass when awakened in the middle of the night, but ask me where something is, and I couldn’t tell you.

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  14. Thanks for the humorous pillow talk, Ally Bean. And who’s to say whether the snow melted on impact as it hit the driveway or a nanosecond earlier . . . in which case one could conclude that it was raining on the driveway and snowing on the grass.

    When applied in the wrong sphere, logic is merely “an organized way of going wrong with confidence.”

    Liked by 3 people

    • J, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, the hard surfaces are closer to the Earth, the planet, which is warmer than the air, the universe. Then when snow falls on the grass, trees, bushes that are in the cold air, the snow remains snow. But when the snow falls on the hard, warmer surfaces, it melts… until those hard surfaces get as cold as the air, then it stays. THUS ENDETH MY METEOROLOGICAL KNOWLEDGE.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Since I don’t have anyone to rouse from my bed and possess a degree in meteorology, I will only comment on the fact that I have the same internal debate in my head when I wake up in the middle of the nigh…. er, day and have to pee… is it late enough that I can probably go back to sleep without having to worry about wetting the bed before my alarm goes off? I really don’t want to have to get up and walk 15 feet to the bathroom…

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’d agree with you about such fuzzy logic, but, I’m also a man and therefore would be immediately implicated. Hey Ally, your guy’s bedroom is located at the 1939 New York Worlds Fair? How cool is that? I’m so jealous that tonight I’m going to ask my wife to put ours in at the 1962 Seattle Worlds Fair. I’m just a little worried that that request might land me out in the snow. However, if it does I’m sure I’ll be okay, because I’ll have her position my bed on the sidewalk.

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  22. I’m just impressed that you actually leave your bed in the middle of the night–for anything. Time and time again, I’ve awakened due to various things and simply refused to either fully awaken or get out of bed simply because IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Talk about “logic.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • nance, my eyes were really itchy. I couldn’t sleep at all, so I did what had to be done. As for chatting with the husband, that was voluntary… and look what it got me! 😉

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  23. Ha ha! Could YOU get back to sleep thereafter? Time to make a plan say I … I don’t know what but you can think about this. Memorise some Latin or Shakespeare or something and pretend to be talking in your sleep …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, made me laugh. I agree. Next time I’ll just recite the beginning of Canterbury Tales in Old English, which oddly enough I know from my school days. That’d be a weather forecast like none other.

      Liked by 1 person

    • philmouse, I can go with that explanation. Law school programmed his brain to always be looking for the loophole in logic, which I so graciously provided him. He couldn’t help himself.

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