When One Doth Use The Snot Out Of Something

/ Ally Bean

I love when the absurd intersects with the ridiculous, and everything suddenly makes sense. 

 { Classic TV: Catch the toast. Kiss the grapefruit. }

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I.  Years ago Zen-Den and I were walking around a discount mall complex.  It was crowded, we were walking slowly, and we chanced to overhear part of a serious conversation between two people who we didn’t know.

What we heard was: “We used the snot out of those oven mitts.”

We started laughing because neither one of us could imagine a scenario where you’d say this sentence with such earnestness.  Of course Z-D and I, being who we are, immediately adopted this sentence as our favorite inside joke that means absolutely nothing, but it’s darned funny to say.

Don’t judge.

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II.  I’ve been cooking and baking more this winter than usual. We didn’t decorate the house for the holidays, but instead I decided to be festive and make some foods that we especially like: stews, soups, casseroles, breads, biscuits.

Even though the holidays are over now, I’ve just kept on cooking.

All was going well in my happy little cooking world until our last oven mitt ripped in two.  This left me with one square potholder and a dish towel to use when getting food out of the oven, and off the top of the stove.

I adapt. No big deal, right?

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III.  It didn’t concern me to not have any oven mitts because I was making do with what I had.  It was only when Zen-Den walked into the kitchen and asked me what I was doing that I began to realize that this conversation was going to go somewhere funny.

I got the giggles but was able to explain the situation to him, and for the first time ever I was able to say in all truthfulness: “We used the snot out of those oven mitts, didn’t we?”

Thereby using our favorite absurd overheard sentence in a non-ironic way to describe the present ridiculous situation– and to finally understand why anyone would say that sentence to begin with.

Life is good.

42 thoughts on “When One Doth Use The Snot Out Of Something”

  3. I like the square potholders. Simple, easy and they used to be cheap. Now you can’t find them. They have fancy silicone or gloves or pockets (to keep your keys?). You can bet I am going to use the snot out of the ones I have.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, I’m learning about the new world of potholders and oven mitts. Having come to the conclusion that I need to buy some new ones, it’s been a revelation about what’s for sale out there. I agree with you, what’s with the pockets?

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  4. Come to think of it, I’ve used the snot out of a lot of things in my life. It got me thinking of this verse from Cat Stevens’ song, “Oh Very Young”.

    Oh very young, what will you leave us this time
    You’re only dancin’ on this earth for a short while
    And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
    They will vanish away like your dads best jeans
    Denim blue, faded up to the sky
    And though you want them to last forever
    You know they never will
    (you know they never will)
    And the patches make the goodbye harder still.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Haha! Now you’re those people 😉 Girl, you need you some new mitts!
    I have to have oven mitts. For all the baking I do, I am such a sissy about the oven! I have those silicone ones that go up to my elbows because I am a sissypants.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey, yes we are “those” people now. I just don’t know how that happened! I was at BB&B the other day and I saw the oven mitts that go up to the elbows. Didn’t purchase them, but had to admire the protection they’d provide.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve used oven mitts until they’ve gotten holes in them (or until my husband burns his hands and yells about getting new oven mitts). I’m not a baker/cooker much and oven mitts seem like such a silly way to spend my money. We did get one of the new oven gloves as a Christmas gift for our daughter’s boyfriend. He likes to cook so…

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    • Janis, I know! I bet most successful marriages have a few inside jokes. And this particular one was so loony when we heard it, that it stayed with us. I’m jealous of your multiple oven mitt stash, even if only one of the mitts is snot-less! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • evilsquirrel13, I knew there was something about you that I liked! Trust me when I say that we will continue to use our inside joke, now available with two stories to go with it.

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  15. It is a funny phrase. That and beat the stuffing out of someone. Hm. If I mixed up the idioms, it would make more sense: “We used the stuffing out of those oven mitts.” Nyah. Not as good. Loved this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rilla Z, I don’t know, I like your idiom. And in this sentence it works. However, the people who walked by us didn’t know your idiom, so they said what they said– and forever with us it remains! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, a logical explanation of an absurd saying. Thanks, teach! 🙂 I don’t like shopping so I, too, use things for as long as I can– even longer sometimes.

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  19. Gotta love those inside jokes with SO’s. Monica and I still laugh when we imagine someone giving that sincere “e-yawp” of approval. Barely ever remember where we first heard it, but it’s morphed into our own thing.

    And that makes all the difference

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