Carelessness, Coupons, And Cake– OH MY!

/ Ally Bean

It would seem that at some point in the recent past we stole our neighbor’s mail.  Well, we didn’t intentionally steal it as much as we accidentally acquired their mail.

My defense for this lapse is that we aren’t mail thieves, per se, as much as distracted, pre-elderly homeowners who assume any and all mail in our mailbox is, indeed, our mail.

But that assumption would be wrong. Oh yes, so wrong.

In fact, I wouldn’t have noticed this theft accidental acquirement if not for the good old coupons.  You know, the paper kind that come in the mail IF you’re a Kroger Plus Customer.

I’m talking about the ones that are specifically sent to you because you buy the same stuff over and over.

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Look at those shopping carts all lined up. So tidy.  {Photo via Pixabay by Michael Gaida}

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IT’S LIKE THIS, my gentle readers: the other day I went to get our mail from our mailbox and I see that our monthly Kroger Plus Customer coupon envelope is among the letters/junk mail in my hand.  I go inside the house, open the envelope, whereupon I feast my eyes on our very special and specific coupons.

[Some of which are for FREE money off your order if you spend a certain amount of money at the checkout.  This is normal.]

But it dawns on me that just a few days before Zen-Den had retrieved the mail from the mailbox, opened what he assumed was our Kroger Plus Customer envelope and left the coupons on the kitchen counter for me to file.

Which I hadn’t done yet.

Suddenly I start looking at these coupons on the counter, thinking how peculiar it is that we have coupons for Hubba Bubba bubble gum, and Annie’s Organic Cinnamon Rolls with Icing, and Simply Potatoes frozen potatoes. Items we don’t buy. Ever.

[I also notice that the FREE coupons are for things like Betty Crocker cake mix, not for FREE money.  That’s not our normal.]

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Look at Barney Kroger, founder of the Kroger supermarket chain. So dapper.  {photo source here via Library of Congress}

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SLOWLY IT DAWNS on me that the coupons we have sitting on our kitchen counter are someone else’s coupons.  And because the envelope that these coupons came in is long gone, there’s no way to return the coupons to them.

Meaning, of course, that we, the Beans, jointly and severally, are miscreants of the lowest order, stealing [acquiring?] grocery coupons from our neighbors, like we’re two addled-brained overwrought suburbanites without the sense to read the front of an envelope.

Which clearly we are… but does not necessarily mean that we’re above using an accidentally acquired coupon to get a free box of cake mix.

Because, you know, CAKE!

54 thoughts on “Carelessness, Coupons, And Cake– OH MY!”

  1. I am torn. I don’t know whether to giggle at the acquirement by accident or to be mildly concerned that you now know something private about your chewing gum neighbors.

    I now also have a yearning for Annie’s Organic Cinnamon Rolls. With Icing. Lots and LOTS of icing.

    Fun post, Ally. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Maggie, I do feel a bit like a peeping tom with these coupons. I didn’t mean to end up with them but now that I have them, I wonder who exactly is chewing all this bubble gum and eating all these carbs. Such a weird thing to happen.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Were your ears burning a couple of hours ago? I was chatting with a friend about this post. She told me how the post office put her phone bill, which was several months overdue into her neighbour’s post box. He just about keeled over when he read the amount owing!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Oh dear! I’d be much more upset getting an overdue bill, even if it wasn’t my own, than I am about a few coupons. I think the moral that I’m taking away from all of this is that I need to double-check the front of envelopes to make sure I am the addressee. Less troubles that way.

          Liked by 2 people

  2. Do you know WHICH neighbors? That’s fun to guess!

    Barney Kroger looks a little bit like my grandpa. But then, people in old, old pictures often look like our relatives, don’t they?

    Liked by 2 people

    • nance, I have my suspicions about who was supposed to get these coupons. Not that I’ll ever ask around. Better to let this accidental acquirement slide…

      I agree about people in old pictures. I thought that Barney looked like one of my great uncles. Of course, maybe these resemblances are just an Ohio thing.

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  3. You had me laughing at pre-elderly. I didn’t know that was an age but I love it. The right thing to do is to use the coupons. That’s what your neighbors would want you to do. I like the concept of targeted coupons. I get coupons for diapers (baby not adult) and cereals (which we don’t eat at all). I’d gladly send them to you!

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    • Kate, yes, well– being pre-elderly is a fine place to be in life, considering the trajectory we all are on. The targeted coupons are usually very useful. And even though these particular coupons aren’t our coupons, I’m sure that you’re right when you say that our neighbors would want us to use them. Plus, FREE CAKE.

      Liked by 2 people

    • susie, I’d never heard of the Annie’s rolls either, so this was a learning experience for all of us. Of course, now that I know about them and have a coupon for them, I NEED to buy them. Sound delicious, don’t they?

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Didn’t you once say your mail carrier had a vendetta against your particular street? I think he may be trying to frame you…

    This post gets a Super Like for nothing else but that photo of Barney Kroger. That face, that name….. it’s just epic!

    Liked by 2 people

    • evilsquirrel13, you might be right. Hadn’t thought of that.

      Our actual mail carrier has no grudge that I know of, but the postal clerk behind the counter in our local post office branch hates this street. Perhaps he bribed/blackmailed our carrier to give us the wrong coupons. IT’S A CONSPIRACY.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. This post has me laughing! You and Zen Den crack me up! I guess we are “pre-elderly”. Love that title! Now you’ll have to use all of the “accidentally acquired” coupons. It might be fun to eat something totally different from what you normally buy. Have fun chewing the Hubba Bubba while blogging:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beth, when I realized what had happened I was equal parts horrified + entertained. I just froze in place, wondering what do I do now? Some of the accidentally acquired coupons are ok for us, but the ones for hair doodads and juice boxes I tossed out. ‘Cuz you know… pre-elderly.

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  8. You are forgiven for your theft…ahem…ACQUISITION.. It’s the fault of the mailperson. How do I know this and why would I make such a sweeping generalization? Well here in my part of America, I routinely have the same problem you wrote of. The absolute capper to my saga was this recent debacle.

    We have mailboxes at the end of the road, all clustered together in a square. Makes rural mail delivery so much easier I guess. IF the person sorting out the mail could READ. Or wasn’t terminally stupid. There is a fellow in my particular square of mailbox proximity who died. He had cancer and finally it won. About a month ago the HOA here sent him something (probably a request for funds or a notice, don’t know, didn’t open it) and the idiot in charge of sorting mail put it in my box. I politely wrote “Wrong Mailbox” on it and popped it back in the outgoing mail. In two days it was back, and this played out again and again over the subsequent weeks. The guy finally died. I tore the now tattered envelope in half and stuck it in the outgoing mail. Wondered what would happen if I’d written ‘dead from FUBARED mail delivery’ or something witty like that, but I didn’t. I’m wondering now if the letter will return again, carefully taped together. If it does, I’m taking it down to the post office and handing it to a human being. Telling them the problem. See if they can sort it.

    So see? You’re forgiven for acquiring coupons. The people handling their delivery are at fault.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Embeecee, your story is hilarious in an infuriating way. Your “dead from FUBARED mail delivery” idea might have gotten the post office’s attention. Or maybe not. What a stupid mess.

      I plan on using some of our accidentally acquired coupons because why not? They’re here. Mistakes happen. Free cake is good.

      Like

  9. Those coupons landed up at you for a reason – tis the season for USING them – Maybe buy zillions of cinnamon rolls (they sound delicious) and wrap a couple for each neighbour and leave on their doorstep, anonymously of course. Actually, that’s not a good idea afterall – since you’re in summer, they may attract ants galore or other creepy crawlies. Your neighbours may think there’s a conspiracy going on … Ally Bean, use them – and a Betty Crocker cake is the best kind of cake. We get that cake mix here at fancy stores…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, I have no doubt that the ants would enjoy the cinnamon rolls before the neighbors found them. But I like your generous idea. Perhaps I could direct a kind prayer of gratitude toward all the houses where these coupons maybe should have landed instead.

      I don’t bake very often. However, I agree about Betty Crocker cakes, so it’d be a sin to not use the coupon to get the cake mix, right? 😁

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    • Tara, I like how you think. Our intent was pretty much to open our mail– and I don’t think it’s entirely unrealistic to assume that the mail in your mailbox is your mail… so FREE CAKE IT IS.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Yay for cake! It almost sounds like a movie plot – just think of all the repercussions and craziness that could happen once people start getting each other’s mail. With all those renovations going on though, you deserve the cake.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sheila, you might be onto something there with the movie plot. It does have potential. You write the movie and I’ll go see it, ok? I agree that I deserve the cake… I always deserve cake and this mail mix-up is a reminder of that truth. 😉

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  14. Bake the cinnamon rolls and the cake, have a neighborhood party and invite everyone over. See who gravitates to the bait and/or talks about how they were very disappointed that they did not get their usual Kroger’s monthly mail this month 🙂 Offer some Hubba Bubba on the way out. Sherlock at work here!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, I love your plan. Straightforward, yet with a devious twist at the end. Sherlock would be so proud of you and your sleuthing abilities. If only I hadn’t thrown out the Hubba Bubba coupon…

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I feel like free cake mix is something your neighbors really want you to have. I totally want my neighbors to have free cake mix. Perhaps they’d buy a Duncan-Hines spice cake as I do, because baking spice cake from scratch makes me sneeze. I mean, really, love your neighbor and all.
    These unfortunate things happen. I frequently exchange mail with the woman who lives one street south of me, same house number. She gets my oven vent, I get her slippers, she gets our BMV notice, we get her flowers. Lots worse things happen. In this scenario, I feel certain she’d want me to bake her cake. To soothe my conscience and whatnot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey, you got me laughing here. I agree with you. If my neighbors could score a free cake mix because of some error beyond their control that allowed them to get my free cake mix, then I’d be all onboard with it. Bake while the sun shines.

      We had the same thing going on in the house before this one that you have going on now. Our street number was the same as an ER doc a few streets over. We’d get his medical journals, he’d get our magazines. We’d get his UPS deliveries, he’d get ours. Nice family, sorry we lost touch with them when we moved here.

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  18. Annie’s Organic Cinnamon Rolls are delish! What’s better is that they are not made with palm oil–as that has been a major deterrent for me in regard to store-bought baked goods, sweets, and all things sweet and yummy.

    Our postman, bless his heart, sometimes confuses our mail with our neighbor’s mail, but never fun stuff like coupons! Usually bills, and I’m always quick to send it on to the correct recipient!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, I’ll look for these magical cinnamon rolls. There’s much to recommend them to me, beyond the fact that I have a $1.00 off coupon for them.

      What I learned from this situation is that we need to learn to look at the front of the envelope before we open it. This will be our new default habit. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  19. We are always getting our neighbors mail in our mailbox… some from neighbors several streets over. It makes us wonder if ours ever goes astray. I say use the coupons without guilt – by using them, you reinforce whatever algorithm was used to create them and the neighbors who the coupons were for will receive even more. Win-win.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janis, I like your logic. You’re right, by using the coupons I’m helping my neighbors have the opportunity to eat more cake. And that is a right neighborly thing for me to do. So cake this weekend will be served here.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Anne. I figure that when something wacko happens, like this story for instance, then I need to write about it and share it with the world. And I agree, the comments on this post are hilarious. Good people hang out in our corner of the blogosphere.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I reckon you just have to trawl your neighbourhood looking for people chewing bubble gum! Then present them with their share of the cake, but without explanation. 😂 Fab post!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m just going to say, without reading your other comments, that NO ONE needs the crap they were getting deals on. Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum? You did them a favor.

    Like

    • Margaret, I hate bubble gum, but am willing to try the organic cinnamon rolls [especially after many commenters said they were good]. But the FREE CAKE coupon, now that’s a score in my book.

      Like

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