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ARE YOU EVER GOING TO WRITE THE DEFINITIVE PRIMER ON BLOG COMMENTING ETIQUETTE, LIKE YOU SAID YOU MIGHT LAST SUMMER?
I don’t know. I suppose it depends on how much I want to call out other bloggers on their less-than-stellar behaviors. I fear that my natural honesty and snark could easily sound passive-aggressive— and that would never do. So I hesitate.
WHY WERE YOU SO EASY ON THE PAINTERS WHO PAINTED THE FAMILY ROOM THE WRONG COLOR?
I forgave the painters, two guys who are partners, because they’re good men who we’ve had paint other rooms, and their work is perfect. Yes, perfect. Our interior designer told one partner what color to use to in each room, but he got the colors mixed up because he was on his way to “the old country” [in Europe] where his father was seriously ill, subsequently passed away. Mistakes happen, you know? And they re-painted the family room the right color, so all’s well that ends well.
WHAT’S BECOME OF YOUR NEIGHBOR, CRAZY BIRD LADY?
Crazy Bird Lady has calmed down over the years. No more banging metal pots to scare birds away. I saw a man from the HOA in her backyard pulling down all the shiny streamers, talking with her as he did so. She no longer shouts obscenities at the birds & the neighbors who feed them, and all her weird flower pots are gone. Now I only hear her when she’s talking to her dog– loudly talking, but saying normal things to her puppy.
WHAT WAS MIRABELLE’S REVENGE?
Mirabelle waited. She knew her mother hated it. Feared it, even.
She heard the shriek, her name being called. Mirabelle tried not to smile but she knew this revenge was perfect.
Mommy was vain. Without her make-up, flushed down the toilet by Mirabelle, she’d have to go to work barefaced.