What is this, you ask? This is my entry into evilsquirrel13’s annual Contest of Whatever. Details here. You, too, can join in the fun until February 28, 2019.
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Chaz the Squirrel, our mutual friend, was sitting outside on the deck staring into the woods, pondering what to do next.
Behind him was a bleak house, empty at the moment because since Christmas, Carol, the owner, had been away.
In fact, truth be known, Chaz was a little sad, having fallen on hard times.
With nothing much to do Chaz decided to go to a bar that was a much of the old curiosity shop as it was a place to get a fine cocktail.
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He didn’t have great expectations as he walked into the bar, but was delighted when he saw his favorite bartender, a petite woman, some would say little, Dorrit.
Upon seeing Chaz, Dorrit exclaimed, “Hey there you little dickens! What’ll you have?”
To which Chaz replied, “A martini, if you please.”
“Sure enough,” she said. “Will that be with an olive ‘r twist?”
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THE END
Crazy fun! Who the dickens ever thought up the idea of the idea of an annual contest of whatever. You made the most of it, Ally Bean.
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marian, thank you. The joke at the end is one that I remember an English prof in college telling us. The build up to it is all mine! Or mine and Charles Dickens, I guess.
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So this is why squirrels are always flattened in the street. Good luck with the contest!
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Jill, it well could be the reason why. They all are little dickens, I do believe.
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Love how you squirreled away so many Dickens’ titles into your entry. Well done. You’ve got my vote!
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nancy, thank you! Well said comment, btw. I’d love to have a cute Dickensian response to you, but I’m all out of titles.
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I also loved the Dickensian cleverness here
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🙂
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So good! The English Lit major in me loved it. The Dickens fancier in me reveled in it. The Victorian Novel specialist in me says Brava! And the creative writing teacher in me says A+ !
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nance, I feel like I’ve won all the awards I need with this comment. THANK YOU for your kind words. I can’t take credit for the actual joke; it’s from an English prof in undergrad. But I did write the build up to the joke and took the pictures of an uncooperative squirrel. So there’s that.
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Surely there is something in there about poor Chaz’ tail… how it flits from your town to the next?
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Janet, sure. We can add anything you like to this joke/blog story/contest entry. Let’s embellish it! 😊
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As in a Tail of Two Cities?
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I missed that one entirely, didn’t I?
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Ho ho!
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Cute, cute, cute!! What a fun way to use your wit and wisdom with your little squirrel friend! Good luck on the contest. Chaz is a winner in my book!
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Thanks, Beth. As you know I can get silly at times, and this contest is the perfect place to let silliness shine. Plus it’s February and I’m bored out of my gourd. This was fun to do.
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Okay, I’m hoping the reference to getting a cocktail was an intentional pun????
Went to the website, looks like a fun thing – especially since I dislike squirrels!
😀
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laura, now that you mention it I have to admit that it wasn’t an intentional pun. I was telling a story, adding a joke… but sometimes the funniest things happen despite what you intend to write.
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I especially appreciate the fact that you **admitted** not punning intentionally – like you said, funny things do happen…
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🤷♀️
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Martini drinking squirrels will be hard to beat….
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rivergirl1211, I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. No doubt Chaz will have a few martinis as he awaits the announcement of the contest winner. 🍸
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Very cute Ms Bean! Well, cute is not really the right word but you made me smile before my brain is fully functional.
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Zazzy, thank you. I’m glad that Chaz and I made you smile. We do what we can. 😊
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Please sir…. er, ma’am. I want some more! (hic!)
Thank you for creating such a highbrow entry for my lowbrow little contest! The Dickens reference will bring a touch of class to the CoW that it desperately needs. I wish you, Chaz, Dorrit and Olive ‘r Twist the best of luck!
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evilsquirrel13, a little literary humor goes a long way in the blogosphere. I’m glad you approve my contest entry. I’ll be over at the bar with Chaz while waiting for your decision.
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Ain’t nothin’ worse than an inebriated squirrel. Especially, a literate one.
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Almost Iowa, of that I am certain. In fact I think I’ll drink to that. 🍸
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🙂
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Thanks!
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😀
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Thanks, LA.
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Cute, very cute. The squirrel is too.
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Betsy, thank you. I only wish I could have gotten Chaz to look at the camera during our photo shoot. He was so standoffish, but then he’s the talent and can do what he wants.
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Ha! Stuck-up actors.
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Exactly!
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Oh those drinking squirrels, they can be rascals!
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Lynn, I’d hate to see a drunk squirrel, now that I think about it. I’m sure that Chaz is responsible and knows his limit. 😊
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Nice one! I loved (and reposted) a meme on Facebook that went something like, “I don’t have my ducks in a row. I have squirrels and they’re at a rave.” Now I’m imagining a drunk squirrel trying to run and climb trees. 🙂
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Margaret, that’s a cute meme. Squirrels at a rave are so much more believable than ducks in a row. I don’t know if squirrels drink alcohol, but it wouldn’t surprise me. They’ll eat about anything from what I can tell.
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Well done!
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Thanks, John. And they try to tell you that majoring in English Lit will get you nowhere in life. Ha!
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Thanks for a reason to chuckle a bit today.
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Dan, you’re welcome. It’s an old joke, but good silly one.
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Chaz the martini-swilling squirrel. I love it! – Marty
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Thanks, Marty. I have to believe that if ever there was a squirrel named Chaz he’d have to drink martinis. 🍸
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Too cute, Ally Bean! Are you the cat’s pajamas? Or the squirrel’s martinis? Well done on the challenge! *inserts Great Expectations blather*
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joey, thanks. There’s something silly about a squirrel drinking a martini that got me thinking about this old joke. *responds to Great Expectations blather with more blather*
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As a Dickens fan, I’m sitting here with a big grin on my face. Two bad Chaz didn’t have two tails – then he could have founded a city called …
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Jan, Chaz could only do what he could do to help me along with this joke and blog post in which he stars. But two tails he does not have, so alas no more Dickensian silliness.
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of foolishness… I’ll just leave it at that.
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Jan, nicely quoted. I think I’ve captured the age of foolishness concept here, so I’m glad that you noticed it. 🙂
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What a fun post! You have so much creativity.
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Sheryl, thank you. I wanted to do something fun [and simple] for this contest. Hence an old joke tweaked for it.
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Your little story makes me long for a Dickens tale and all the strange and fanciful characters that live therein. Btw. That squirrel has an extremely thick and healthy coat and tail.
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Behind the Story, I know what you mean. I hadn’t thought of Dickens novels in years, but when I remembered this old joke I was nostalgic for their oddnesses. Yes, Chaz is a healthy fellow, but he wouldn’t look at the camera directly so I never got a shot of his face. I tried, though.
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Brilliant! Good luck with the contest!
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Why thank you, Donna!
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Oh dear. I’m terribly slow this morning. I had to read it 3 times before I got it. Very clever!! Now of course I’m going to be thinking olive ‘r twist all day 😏
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Joanne, it’s a silly old joke I remember my English prof telling us. I, of course, embellished the first part of it, but the olive ‘r twist part remains the same.
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Love it! I think I have some of Chaz’s distant relatives in my yard, in case he’s wondering if there are others like him. Great entry–good luck with the contest!
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Kate, thank you! I feel that I hit my silliness threshold with this one. No doubt Chaz has relatives everywhere, but whether they drink martinis I know not.
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OMG I’ll be laughing all day over this. Winner Winner Squirrel Corn Dinner. This was so funny.
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Juliette Kings, thank you. It’s an old joke, but worked perfectly here. Love your “Winner Winner Squirrel Corn Dinner” saying. Evilsquirrel13 needs to adopt that as his own.
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Wonderful idea to use the Dickens references! I really like the oliver ‘r twist joke! So funny. 🙂
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Thanks! The joke I heard from an English Lit prof in college– and somehow the Dickens references seemed too perfect to not add to it. Plus what squirrel isn’t a dickens?
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Love it………! This was a doozy of a contest………there’s no squirrel like an evil one, eh?
Hugs, Pam
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Pam, yes, evilsquirrel13 has it going on in his own unique way. 🙄 Thanks for stopping by and saying “hi!”
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Ha, I especially liked “olive ‘r twist” 🙂
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drailman, it’s an oldy but goody. Go with what works, eh?
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Thanks for a great giggle. Very witty! 🙂
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Glad you liked it. Gotta have fun with things like this.
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