Mercury Is In Retrograde & My Subconscious Is On The Blinketh, Me Thinketh

/ Ally Bean

I’VE BEEN KNOWN TO SAY: trust the process.  I don’t know that I do that all the time because my ego gets in the way, but when I chill out and reflect upon situations it seems like a worthy goal– if you’re trying to live your life in a heart-centered way.

Thus I give you the following series of events, hoping that there is something good + insightful to be gleaned from this.  I mean, there’s nothing bad or tragic with the following, it’s just weird– even by my standards of self-awareness.

Which are low during this time when Mercury is in retrograde.

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PERHAPS YOU KNOW ABOUT THE idea of posing a question to yourself as you fall asleep at night, allowing your subconscious to give you the answer, revealed in your first thoughts in the morning?

I learned about doing this from a yoga teacher, a woman who was one of those totally centered, but not unrealistically cheerful, instructors who was all about helping other people find their way IF the other person was sincere.

I liked her classes. Useful.

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HERE’S THE QUESTION I ASKED myself last night was: what could I write about on my blog this week?  And my subconscious tossed a question back at me that is about as random and unexpected as they get.

It’s a question for which I have no answer, nor need to know an answer.  And I realize that no one is alive that would be able to answer it.

Here’s what I woke up thinking about: did my mother, who was three years younger than her older sister, know that when her older sister stepped on the train headed for a holiday in Texas, that her older sister was going off to elope? 

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THIS IS AN ODD QUESTION that has left me baffled about what is going on inside my brain.  I mean, what do you suppose my subconscious is trying to tell me?

Is it saying that I need to go on a vacation? That it’s time for me to tell stories about my ancestors? That it’s broken and needs a professional tune-up?

I dunno, but I will say I’m a little bit freaked out about what the heck is going on inside my mind.  I’ll admit to being older and more addled than I once was, but I’m usually not so far out there with the answers to my questions.

98 thoughts on “Mercury Is In Retrograde & My Subconscious Is On The Blinketh, Me Thinketh”

  1. I’m going with Mercury in retrograde because there’s a lot of weird sh*t going on in my head lately too. I mean, I’ve dreamt about Richard Nixon 3 times in one week. WTH?!! If there’s a message in there, I don’t have the tools to decode it.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I watched last weeks Greys Anatomy on dvr last night….Meredith gets the idea to solve a problem during a dream about her mother….so who knows…..the character on the show is wildly successful as is the actor in real life….

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  5. I’m beginning to wonder if you (and perhaps Joanne) want to elope with Richard Nixon. Hey, it’s your mind, you can do whatever you want in there. But, when you temp the voices in your head with a chance at having the megaphone for a week, it might just be too much for them to handle.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dan, oh dear! What if you’re right? I cannot imagine that. Richard Nixon is not my cup of tea, as they say. Never was, so to even contemplate him now is… awful. But then again we are living with Mercury in retrograde… 😳

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  6. I don’t know if this is that weird. I wake up with strange questions on my mind or hearing music in my head just about every morning. At least I never thought it was weird. Until now. Thanks, Ally.
    😉 Uh, I think. (I really should try writing this shit down.)

    Deb

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    • Deb, maybe it isn’t so weird. But my mother had been gone for over 20 years so why I suddenly want to know what she knew about her sister strikes me as… well, bizarre. Especially when none of it matters.

      I bet that whatever pops into your brain in the morning could make for some fun blog posts, should you want anyone to know what’s going on with your subconscious. 😉

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      • Well, it might not matter but wouldn’t it be fun to know if the sisters shared this secret? I like your idea about the blog posts! I think keeping a dream journal would be a good idea too. Usually mine are pretty nonsensical but every once in a while they deliver a strong message.

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        • Yes, I’d like to know. Those two were close in later life, but I don’t know if they were close when living at home with their parents.

          I’ve never tried to keep a dream journal. I rarely remember mine, only the way they make me feel when I wake up. If you try to keep one, I’ll be interested in how that works for you.

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  8. Mercury in retrograde…isn’t that part of a song from the 60’s?
    I actually had to pause for a moment there and think about that. I feel as if I’m trying to add to the 5th Dimension song “Aquarius” with the moon in another house and Jupiter lining up with Mars…
    Now, even though I am awake, my thought process has led me to contemplate the musical Hair, which I believe is coming as a live production to NBC in the next month or so. I anticipate enjoying that very much so Ms. Bean, you may feel certain that your post has inspired me to reflect on something odd, but also quite fun.

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    • Deb, I remember that song: “When the moon is the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars. Then peace will guide the planet and love will fill the stars.” It was something like that but I don’t remember if it included Mercury anywhere in the lyrics. Too long ago.

      I didn’t know Hair was coming to NBC and feel compelled to ask if it’s be performed naked? That’d be worth watching just to see Twitter go crazy about it in real time.

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  9. I don’t know if it is an age thing Ally or the universe sending us all messages to figure out but I seem to be in a phase of listening a little more to the gentle nudges we receive on a daily basis.

    I recently started a meditation series (mostly to try to quiet all the stuff in my head!) & I have to admit, it is kind of fascinating.

    Sweet dreams my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynn, I like to meditate, but have gotten away from doing it on a regular basis. For a while I was good about it, but… life got in the way, I guess. Now that you mention it I could do with a few gentle nudges from within. Thanks for the idea.

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    • evilsquirrel13, your explanation of DST is as good as any. I wonder how often our springing forward coincides with Mercury in retrograde? Maybe it’s all a big conspiracy! 🙄

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  11. Perhaps your brain is trying to show you what dumb things keep us up at night – so next time you have a sleepless-due-to-anxiety-attack night, you can reference this and get back to sleep.
    Easier said than done, I know!

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    • laura, that’s a great way of looking at this! The message is don’t be silly you sleepyhead. Go back to sleep, nothing of importance going on inside your head.

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  12. I was reading this when there was a sudden and totally unexpected bolt of lightning – out of the blue. No warning … just a HUGE flash that had the cat scooting inside as if scalded. So – what does this mean? I don’t know if that bolt of electrickery has re-wired my brain but I would say that that the subconscious is just that – sub – whereas the UNconscious gets under all the sub and that is where you find all the pointers to existential questions. Ask your UN, for UNusual observations … some subversive for sure and that’s my 2 c worth for the day Ally Bean … 🙂

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    • Susan, interesting idea. Is there a difference between the subconscious and the unconscious? I think of them as the same thing, but I could well be wrong in a clinical sense. Nonetheless, no matter what I call that which invaded my early morning thoughts… I still don’t know if my mother knew her sister was going to elope. 🤷‍♀️

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      • Big difference between the two 😀 at least how I understand it. Yes that elopement and wondering whether your mother knew or not is interesting. Do sisters know all there is too know about each other? And what does this mean ito of those who we deem to be close – how much do we really know? What lies beneath the cloud of unknowing?

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        • Susan, I wasn’t aware of that, but then psychology is not my field of study. Thanks for pointing that out. The things I learn along the way.

          I’m an only child so sisterhood is something I wonder about in general from time-to-time. Some sisters seem so tuned-in to each other, but like you say how much can anyone know about someone else? And probably more pertinent, does it positively influence who you are and become?

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  13. Elementary, my dear Ally.
    Your brain, or sub-conscious, if you will, wanted you to write a post about IT.
    And you did!

    Almost as tricky as Tricky Dick!

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    • Nancy, yes, I trusted the process with this post. But am still baffled about why I suddenly wanted to know a bit of family trivia from decades ago. It’s not like I’m a memoirist or genealogist who wants to find the truth so that I can write about it or catalogue it. Fortunately I’m comfortable with not knowing… many things. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jacqui, I don’t know what’s up with that early morning question, but I put it out here because I’m trusting the process! I don’t always ask myself a question before I go to sleep, but when I do the answer in the morning can be insightful… or not. 🙄

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  15. I have three sisters, two of them are 10 and 12 years older than I and one is 5 years younger. I’m much closer to the two older ones. One of my older sisters jumped out her bedroom window to run away be with her boyfriend but her boyfriend brought her back to the house! I had no idea she was going to do that, but I was only about 6 or 7 when it happened so…I just remember my mom crying.

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    • Janet, what a story! I can see how at that age you wouldn’t have a clue about what your older sister was up to with her boyfriend. Still it made an impression on you. In my case the sisters in question were 21 and 24 [I think] so it seems plausible to me that they shared the secret.

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      • Side note, that sister and her boyfriend have been married for 56 years but it has never been the happiest of marriages so maybe she should have realized that when he brought her back she should have moved on?

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        • No kidding! That’s too bad that it didn’t work out better, but I’m fascinated that she eventually married the boyfriend. What a different time it was when this story happened.

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  16. Ally, now I’ve heard it said that we often tend to dream about the things we’ve thought about during the day. And, after having read this post (and the responses) I’m afraid to pose a question to myself before going off to sleep tonight for fear that I’ll dream about Richard Nixon, musicals like Hair, nudity, love, Pullman porters, Grey’s Anatomy, aches & pains, and even Giphys! Not to mention, whether or not your mom possibly knew that her older sister was going off to Texas to elope? See, the thing is, dreams tend to get twisted up enough —mixing and matching subjects that normally wouldn’t go together— and god forbid if I were to dream tonight that a Pullman porter escorted a pained Richard Nixon to a hospital in Seattle, only to see him standing in the nude while singing songs from Hair to a completely bewildered Meredith Grey — over and over again! All I can say is, “Oh my stars!” 😀

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    • In My Cluttered Attic, you make a good case here for NOT asking yourself any question before you go to sleep. You’re right that dreams tend to jumble the day’s events and thoughts together in weird ways. In fact your possible dream scenario is frightening enough to make me re-think the whole idea of allowing my subconscious to help me find my way. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, I suppose.

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  17. I think it’s hit or miss. Most of the time my questions get ridiculous answers but one time I asked where the heck our passports were and woke up the next morning remembering the safe place where I’d put them.

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    • Jan, that’s an amazing story. I like that the answer you got was concrete. You’re right that it’s hit or miss, but usually I get vague useless answers that I instantly dismiss. Still I did get a blog post out of it, so I guess it was the right answer.

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  18. Giphy is a bit goofy this time of day. Given my strange weekend, this post fits my mood at the moment … which is, What is going on in other people’s minds, I wonder?

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    • Marian, Giphy is always goofy from what I can tell! I use it sparingly. I wonder what’s going on in other people’s minds, too. I’m usually able to understand myself, but lately even I’m beginning to make less sense to me. The world is getting stranger by the day.

      [Also, wouldn’t you know– I’m not always able to comment on your blog, but I’m trying.]

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  19. Dang, now I wonder that, too. I wonder what sisters know. I don’t have a sister. My girls act like their sisters are plagues upon our house, but they know everything about one another, no secrets. I mean, no secrets from one another, they all keep secrets from us. Which we have encouraged, because trust and loyalty, so long as no one is in danger, blah blah blah, I really wish I didn’t know some of it. I will ask about elopement etiquette later. It’s not really a danger, is it? I wish I had eloped. My eldest is married and the other two would need fake id or parental consent, and while Moo’s fella is definitely promising as marriage material, I believe they are both very focused and practical … well I can’t imagine. Maybe Sassy would fall head over heels and take off on a whim — she’s so romantic, gets it from her father.

    Mercury in retrograde is cruel. I feeeeeel it. And with time change right there a week in. What is the universe even doing to me, Ally Bean? Gah.

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    • joey, I don’t have a sister either. I sometimes find myself wondering about what it’d be like and how they think about each other– and if they know things and overlook those things more than they should because it’s their sister. You know, only child ditherations– that you’ve answered in your comment, so thank you.

      I wish we’d eloped, too. Our wedding was a low-level nightmare that I rarely reminisce about because I felt like a pawn in all of it, a game going on all around me. But as for how you elope, especially in today’s world, that’s a fascinating question. I suppose if you’re an adult you’d go to Vegas, baby– and find a chapel. But maybe people still step onto trains and chug off to await their destiny in Texas. Another question for which I know no answer. Theme of my day.

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      • We have some friends who got married on a rooftop in Vegas, just the two of them, the judge, and a witness. While they did that, it was recorded and broadcast live so their friends and family could FEEL like they were there. They’re introverts and I loved that for them.

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  20. Mercury in retrogade works for me but maybe it has something to do with DST – everyone is blaming our ills and poor judgment on Daylight Saving Time, so there is a valid suggestion for the brain you are baffling over Ms. Bean. 😉

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    • Donna, I’m happy to know someone else uses this sleep solution approach to problem solving. I often find it gets me moving in the right direction, but this elopement question has me stumped. I’d ask my yoga teacher but she hasn’t taught in years, I don’t even know if she’s still in this area. I suspect she’d laugh and tell me not to worry about it. She wasn’t one to overthink things.

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  23. It’s been pretty solid/normal technique to sleep on a problem – there’s research. The brain does sort through things…but it often comes out like symbols’ flea market or word soup in the morning.
    But sometimes the message is very clear. Could be how a person has trained themselves?
    I have always written in my sleep – it’s the only time I’m not interrupted for long periods and can accomplish something HAHA (really – works for me. used to do it for work and sometimes now with blogging – I can wake up with the perfect phrases and what parts need to be edited or cut out completely – whereas I couldn’t see all that before sleeping.
    Trains – usually a passage in life or wanting a vacation this time of year!

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    • philmouse, I heard of this sleep solution idea years ago and while I don’t do it every night, when I have done it I usually get something more useful than a question thrown back at me. Not that this is a bad answer in that I wrote this blog post based on it… but it’s weird.

      You can sleep write? Now that sounds like something Sabrina the Teenage Witch would know how to do. Next thing I know you’ll have a black cat and name it Salem.

      As for the meaning of the train, let’s go with want a vacation. Soon please.

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      • Actually it’s more compose and edit while sleeping…I’ve always done that. Besides, between the dog and RC Cat, staff has far too many duties during the day to give writing undivided focused attention HAHA
        Vacation! Road trip! Somewhere where it’s not raining, pleeeeease.

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  24. I’m sure there’s a reason for that “answer.” You (and we) may never know what it is though. I dreamed that I was playing with my dog Henry. We were having such a fun time! I woke up, mourning that he’s been dead for five years now. Damn.
    I’m going to ask myself (my inner being?) a question when I go to bed tonight. Is Henry’s spirit still around? Because seriously, I see him in the corner of my eye often.
    Then again, I do have to have my glasses checked.
    Here’s to Mercury and all the crazy stuff out there!

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    • Pam, I’m beginning to think the reason for my answer is so that I can write a blog post about it, thereby letting everyone comment here and share their own weirdnesses a la Mercury in retrograde.

      If you find out more about Henry’s spirit, then I’m sure you’ll come to realize why you see him out of the corner of your eye. Ask the question tonight, be more informed tomorrow. 🙂

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  26. I didn’t read all the comments, but did anyone suggest that you might possibly write a story about what happened? Like maybe your subconscious wanted you to follow the red thread and channel your mom or her sister, to tease an “answer” forth from the beyond. Maybe there was so much more to be revealed in an “imaginary” story. Just a thought!

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    • Kathy, one other commenter suggested that I write a story with this question as the starting point. I’d not of thought of that idea and I appreciate you both for suggesting it. Obviously the story would be fictional in that there’s no way for me to find out the truth about what happened. But there is something romantic about stepping on a train, going off to your destiny. 💕

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  27. I dreamt about a plane backing up into water, and then I had to walk away from it and my feet were getting wet, so what do I know? It was perhaps because of the Boeing 737 Max issues and that I was going to be flying back to Seattle from Texas. I know that I have interesting dreams if I eat cheese before bed. 🙂

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    • Margaret, maybe you’re psychic! Or maybe your subconscious logically put together that which was in front of you… differently. At least your dream made sense. My early morning answer came at me from nowhere. Why in the world would I be thinking about my mom and aunt’s relationship? No reason I can think of.

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  28. I think we often try to translate directly what dreams are trying to work out symbolically. Maybe someone is hiding something from you? Or on a positive note maybe you’re about to find out a very happy secret? Or maybe it’s just a dream.

    Speaking of dreams, when my daughter was a baby she ended up very ill and we spent 10 days in the NICU. One night, I fell asleep at the hospital and dreamt that my grandpa and grandma (who she is named after) came to see her and told me she was going to be just fine. I’ve always wondered if they visited me in my dream or if it was just my brain trying to get me to chill out.

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    • Katie, you make an excellent point. Maybe I’m being too literal with this thought/question? Maybe it’s more of a nudge in some new direction? One for me to get onboard with, so to speak.

      Fascinating experience in the hospital. I wonder if it even matters where the idea came from as long as it helped you get through that time? Still, it’s amazing to ponder the why and how of ideas in our heads.

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  29. Hi Ally Bean,

    The rational brain always wants to understand and control the intuitive side. I say keep asking, and the why may unfold. I love the mystery of it and I like this process of asking a question and see what pops up first thing in the morning, without a filter! What is the absolute first thing that comes into the mind in those first few seconds of waking? I had a friend who kept a journal by her bedside and she wrote down the very first thing in her mind a la stream of consciousness. She had not asked questions before sleep. What usually came up for her was buried stuff that she thought she had processed but actually she still needed to work on and heal.

    All I know is is that once upon a time I was afraid of speaking at a small grassroots yoga conference and I put a book under my pillow for strength and inspiration (The Secret of Yoga by Pandit Gopi Krishna) and as soon as I woke up, I knew I could do the talk, and I did. 😃🧘‍♂️😃.

    Love this post!

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    • S.G., you summed it up nicely with: The rational brain always wants to understand and control the intuitive side. No doubt that’s true of me, of everyone. I suppose that’s why it seems odd to me that my first thought in the morning was a rational question, even before we get to the subject matter of the question– which was odd. 🤨

      I’ve never tried sleeping with a book under my pillow, but you know if that helped you then it’s a good thing. Whatever works, works. I say that more and more often as I get older and find that I am less worried about how things *should* work.

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  30. What a funny question for your subconscious to come up with. Too bad no one is around for you to ask. For me, Mercury’s retrograde issues have affected communication between me and others all last week, and not in wonderful ways either!

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  31. There’s been a lot of weird crap going on. And so much is thrown at us through the internet. I found myself thinking about the latest scandals at 3 a.m. one morning. Sigh. No wonder I look at cooking shows. Someone making a cake is so soothing to me. These shows help me detox.

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    • L. Marie, I agree with you about the weird crap and the internet. I don’t usually get sucked into the latest scandals and tragedies but last week it was impossible to not do so. I like your idea about the cake making shows– soothing and calorie-free if all you do is watch one!

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