In Which I Read A Book, Then Hit The Wall

/ Ally Bean

A Cautionary Tale from my Daily Life

YOU SEE, I WAS IN BED READING A BOOK. I had a LED clip-on light attached to the book and I was involved in the story, eyes wide open. However my eyes got tired and started to blur so I stopped reading and put my spectacles aside.

I got up from bed, walked over to the light switch on the bedroom wall to turn off the overhead light [yes this one], then walked into the dark bathroom to avail myself of the facilities therein.

As one does.

I thought I could safely walk to where I needed to be in the bathroom, but I was temporarily blinded after turning off the lights in the bright bedroom and then walking into a pitch black bathroom. Thus it came to be that I walked smack dab OH MY GOODNESS TO THE GRACIOUS into the bathroom wall.

Yes, I hit the wall, literally.

Naturally being the mature woman I am I started yelling for Z-D to come help me because I KNEW THE END WAS NIGH. I was convinced I’d broken my nose and would be shuffling off to a hospital where I’d not be able to wear a mask because of my broken nose– and I’d catch Covid-19.

It was perhaps an overreaction, but during these dreary days of the endless pandemic one cannot be sure about what is going to happen to oneself after a bathroom wall willfully gets in your way.

To his credit Z-D did not immediately start laughing when he found me holding my nose and jumping up & down like a crazy person. In fact he turned on a light, politely examined my unbloodied, undamaged nose that never even got black and blue, THEN he started laughing like I was the lead character in the funniest Marx Brothers movie he’d ever seen.

And he would. not. stop. laughing.

Asking me over and over again why I didn’t turn on the light in the bathroom before I walked in.

Then laughing. some. more.

Finding this whole ridiculous slapstick incident much too entertaining, IF YOU ASK ME.

Happy Weekend, everyone. Try not to hit the wall.

183 thoughts on “In Which I Read A Book, Then Hit The Wall”

  1. LOL – Oh Ms. Bean…I broke forth into spontaneous giggles as this story of your midnight foray into the Bathroom unfolded here.
    The fact is, I would have thought the exact same thing: with a broken nose, how **does** one wear a mask?
    Kudos to Z-D, BTW.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. What a terrible “wake up call,” Ally.

    Older eyes take longer to adjust to dark & light.
    And older noses are longer than desirable when we “hit the wall.”

    Hope you’ve rebounded well!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I have done the exact same thing, although mine was more cheek/eye as I came in rather to the side. I am not, nor never would, laugh Ally Bean. That full on black out blindness is real, and I’m sure you had an excellent reason not to turn on the light, as did I at the time.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. And becomes great story material. Of course, glad you were not hurt. Gosh, I’ve never done anything that dumb. Ever. No Sir . . . .

    Liked by 3 people

  11. This reminds me of a story that I forgot to blog about. Many similarities. Adding it to my list.

    You certainly redefined the saying ‘I hit the wall.’ Glad you were not hurt and that Z-D managed not to laugh till he was sure you were OK. What a guy.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ernie, please do write about your similar story. We’ll make it a trend, asking everyone to share his or her story of hitting the wall, so to speak.

      Yep, Z-D is a good guy, but he is a guy… so Marx Brothers, you know? 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  12. So glad you are all in one piece! It’s easier to do than one would think. One night, after using the bathroom (that has a nightlight) the door close all the way behind me so there was not longer the little sliver of light in my bedroom (which does not have a nightlight). I didn’t think it would be difficult to make my way in the total darkness to my side of the four-poster bed, when I walked right into one of posts. Didn’t break my nose, but I felt really stupid. Luckily, husband slept through it, while the dog did not.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. I must have also hit the wall more than once, because after I turn off the light and head to the bathroom, I wave my arm in front of me in order to avoid hitting the walls again.

    And having my husband laugh at me for days.

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Yikes! Not a good feeling to bonk your nose on a wall!
    I’ve never done that, but one night in a hotel room, I got up and didn’t want to disturb T. So I didn’t turn the bathroom light on. ( It was located on the outside wall) When finished, I couldn’t find the doorknob! I was feeling all around up and down trying to find that darned knob! For what seemed like a really long time, I finally found it on the other side where I was feeling! By then I was fully awake, and then couldn’t get back to sleep. Now we take a night light to put in the bathroom when traveling. Crazy!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Beth, I’ve done what you did, too. It’s so strange to not know where the door knobs/light switches are in a dark room. And all you want to do is go back to sleep. When we travel we take a nightlight with us– and even *usually* remember to unplug it as we pack up to leave. 🙄

      Liked by 2 people

  17. Ouch! I feel your pain (if only virtually). I did similar the other night. Decided not to turn on the light as I didn’t want to disturb Himself who really needs his sleep at the moment after way too many early am starts for work. I could also see there was sufficient light coming through the blinds from the outdoor building lights. Or there was until I shut the bathroom door – you know, for privacy reasons – only for it to get pitch black. I managed the key part of the process without accident, but the handwashing was a bridge too far. Glass containing electric toothbrush broke, leaving me grateful I managed to leave the bathroom not bleeding. I turn the light on now… Himself never even stirs. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    • Deb, oh man, broken glass? That’s a definite unexpected consequence of your tale. I get how it happened, and why you thought you could do what you didn’t do. At least you’ve discovered that you can turn on the lights now, and no one gets hurt.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Glad you didn’t break your nose AB! I once had a GF who walked into a wall at a laser tag center – I could hear it happen and then an “Oh sh*t” comment from her mouth. I have to admit, I laughed too. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Pam, come to think of it I’m surprised I didn’t start swearing. I guess I was too shocked in the moment to even speak, other than to yell for Z-D. I admit it was funny, but at the time… not so much.

      Liked by 2 people

  21. Glad you didn’t do any major damage but I’m sure it HURT! Poor baby!
    I have a nightlight in my bathroom with a blue lightbulb in it so I can see where I am going but it isn’t too bright to shine in my room and keep me awake.
    Have a safe weekend!

    Liked by 4 people

  22. We have to have nightlights in the bathroom. Of course you thought the end was near. At least once a week I am sure I have covid-19. (Was that a sniffle? Did I just sneeze? I’m going to die!) Those are the days when I don’t think I have the bubonic plague. So far (knock on wood) I haven’t had either.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kate, I knew you’d understand my rationale for overreacting in the moment. My mind raced ahead quickly, envisioning the worst. Of course, it didn’t happen but these are strange times where one little misstep can end you up very sick. ☹️

      Liked by 2 people

  25. Boy, the lengths to which some bloggers will go just to get a post published (FULL DISCLOSURE: I am currently suffering from a horrible case of writer’s block!).

    Seriously, so glad that you escaped injuries. Family legend has it that my grandfather became blind because he walked into a door in the middle of the night. I’m not sure that’s actually true, but it’s one of those things I think about in those early hours… and then I wonder why I lay in bed afterwards for what seems like hours trying to get back to sleep. Love the Marx Brothers link to Wikipedia, btw. Of course it’s possible some people might not know, but boy does that make me feel OLD! – Marty

    Liked by 4 people

    • Marty, yes, you see through me and my need for external validation, as if! 🙄

      Your family legend, while charming, is a bit off. Maybe all family legends are, who am I to say? But I’d guess there was something more going on with your grandfather’s health before walking into a door.

      I’m sorry you’re suffering from writer’s block because that’s the worst feeling. I, also, felt OLD by including the link to the Marx Brothers, but I didn’t want to assume anyone knew what I was talking about. Some days I’m not even sure I know what I’m talking about…

      Liked by 2 people

  26. This is where Alexa comes to the rescue when she is controlling our lights. Except, of course, you’d have to have the presence of mind to tell her to turn a light on, and presence of mind might not be immediately accessible when one is certain one has broken her nose and won’t be able to wear a mask. I’m glad there was no breakage, other than ego.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Carol, good point about Alexa, if we had her set up to turn on the lights, which we don’t. I pretty much defaulted to being a big baby about what had happened. I was glad Z-D was nearby to assure me I was ok, but the whole laughing part… well, of course he did. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  28. I am NOT laughing. I did a similar thing when getting up to use the facilities in the middle of the night before an early flight to New York. I ran into the door jamb face first, and had a huge bloody nose. It didn’t want to stop bleeding either! Now I have a small nightlight in the bathroom to avoid doing that again.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Margaret, thank you for your support. Your scenario sounds much worse than mine and I’m sorry it happened to you. Yet those bathroom walls are sneaky things, so I get it. I’m thinking we need a nightlight now, too.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I love how your husband made sure you were okay before he started laughing. Walking into a wall at night could never happen to me because I have 16—count them—16 night lights in the house and garage that come on automatically as needed. I love roaming the house by night-light.

    Liked by 3 people

  31. Although I’ve never done this at home (yet), I use to have close encounters of the wall kind when we traveled and I had to negotiate an unfamiliar pathway in a dark room. That is why we now carry nightlights with us in our travel kit. Pro tip: get the kind that has a soft glow, not the kind that will blind you.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Janis, I’ve had difficulties when traveling, too. But I’ve never actually walked into a wall. I’ll take your advice about the soft glow. I’ve never shopped for a night light so just think how exciting that’ll be!

      Liked by 1 person

  32. You gotta keep your eyes on those walls. They’re sneaky bastards!! (I’m ashamed to admit in ZD’s shoes, I’d have laughed too). But less boisterously. I’ve done what you did and I know the shock is scary! My sympathies. .

    Liked by 4 people

    • Melanie, thank you for your sympathy. You’re right, bathroom walls cannot be trusted. I was in shock briefly and then my brain went into overdrive about how this would lead to Covid-19. Fortunately all’s well now, with a good story to tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Dear Ally, I’m sure you didn’t turn on the light so as not to disturb the beauty rest of ZD, right? I have run into things a few times myself, although not in the face. Usually it is my toes that get stubbed on the edge of the footboard on the bed. Tell me that doesn’t hurt! Glad you came through without even a black and blue. Have a wonderful weekend.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Janet, Yes! Zen-Den’s beauty rest! That’s exactly how this happened. I stub my toes every so often, too– and honestly that results that more bodily damage than this ridiculous incident.

      Liked by 2 people

  34. I admire his restraint. And HOW DARE THE WALL MOVE TO WHERE YOU WERE WALKING? See, that’s what bloggy friends do, right? Glad you’re OK. Have you contemplated taking the booklight as a guide to see where the wall moved to?

    Liked by 4 people

  35. HaHa…oh, sorry to laugh at your pain. I’ve been hobbling around with a bruised and purple foot for 2 days now from walking into the stationary bike that I had moved to a more prominent position in hopes of reminding me to get on the damn thing. Now I can’t because my foot hurts too much.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh Anna, yours is such a story, one typical of what I’d do. I get your logic and understand how what happened, happened. I hope your foot feels better soon. I’d blame the whole incident on the stationary bike, like bathroom walls, they’re sneaky.

      Liked by 2 people

  37. After it was clear you were not broken and going to have to go to the hospital and catch Covid-19 I laughed too. Adding a wee nightlight in the WC might not be a bad idea.

    I’m glad you’re alright, and I hope you have a great week-end and no other walls jump out at you! 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  38. good humor shares here but i actually did feel
    the sort of serious note about what a broken nose could maybe offer in setback –
    the mask wearing as one of the things
    –
    and years ago – like 1990 – i walked into a piece of glass that was a room divider and was just closed up –
    others did too /
    but still feel the bang

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yvette, in the moment when I hit the wall my brain went wild with horrible scenarios of doom and disease. I’d never thought about what a broken nose might mean but in light of Covid-19 it seemed serious. Beyond painful.

      Walking into a piece of glass that was a room divider sort of makes sense. In a “why the heck was it there in the first place?” kind of way.

      Liked by 2 people

  40. It’s the book’s fault! It was probably such a good book that you weren’t paying attention to the wall! I’ve done something similar a few times…..mostly because I sometimes partially close the bedroom door and then forget it’s closed if I get up to go to the WC during the night, but once I hit my nose on the kitchen door when I turned too sharply after putting the garbage out in the garage? It does hurt more than one would think….

    Liked by 3 people

  41. I feel your pain, Ally. I read in bed and then follow the same routine, albeit without walking into a wall. I have, however, bashed my shin on the end of the bed frame and that hurts like blazes as well. 😦

    janet

    Liked by 3 people

    • Janet, I’ve yet to bash my shin on the bed frame, although I do that with the corner of the dishwasher door when filling the machine with dishes. I advise against doing what I did after putting my book aside. It was more painful than you might imagine.

      Liked by 1 person

  42. LOL! No one could write that like you did!

    I fell over a small stool in the dark while everyone else was sleeping. There was no use calling for help. I’m glad now, because I’m sure gales of laughter would have erupted. I know who moved that stool, and my beady eye is on him.

    Liked by 3 people

  43. Oh my gosh! This is terrible….but also funny from the perspective of the one NOT worried about a broken nose or covid. ZD should be put in a time out. No wine all weekend. 🙂

    I have nightlights all over my house. Not sure if it looks like toddlers live there or old people.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Suz, it’s funny now. I wasn’t hurt, but it scared me in the moment when I hit the wall. As for Zen-Den, he as apologized [sort of] for laughing at me for so long. It’s the best I’m going to get, I’m sure.

      We don’t have nightlights because the outside street lights beam into most rooms in the house– everywhere except the bathroom obviously. 🙄

      Liked by 2 people

  46. You took me right there with you, with your descriptions, Ally. Nothing like our loving partners to show us the sympathy we deserve. I just finished reading something about a Wall holding us up – some sort of inspirational metaphor for life – not in your case, Ally.🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Erica/Erika, yes in my case the bathroom wall was not there to hold me up. It jumped into my path, I tell you. And as for my loving partner, Z-D’s a good guy, but he does have a wacky sense of humor so the laughing was to be expected. This is one of those all’s well that ends well stories– destined for a blog post. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  48. You have my sympathy! The fear of having to go somewhere we might get exposed to COVID-19 is not an easy one to cope with. (I had a panic attack when I had to get my flu shot last fall…) And when you’re in pain and kicking yourself for not turning on the light, on top of all that! But at least your husband made sure you were okay BEFORE he started laughing. And the incident did make for an entertaining blog post. But from one who is often hurt in similar mishaps, you still have my sympathy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Barbara, thanks for your sympathies. It was a weird experience to hit the wall, obviously– but my brain went into overdrive about what could go wrong during a visit to the ER. I mean, I don’t usually get so dramatic but this time, EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, I went a bit over the top. However, Z-D talked me down and was most kind… then couldn’t stop laughing. He still snickers a little bit about the whole event.

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Almost everything that happens during this pandemic seems to be worse than it is, but I think we’ve reached the end of the rainbow when it comes to being able to accept more drama in our lives. Walking into a wall in the dark definitely pushes a few buttons. Glad you were okay, and you might considerate a really classy looking night light. There’s a whole new post for you – how many retirees have a night light in their bathrooms. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Judy, I agree with you that during this pandemic I’m primed to overreact about health issues of all kinds and the possibility of a visit to the hospital triggered me. Plus I agree that we need to get a nightlight for the bathroom. As if live could get anymore exciting! 😏

      Liked by 2 people

  51. Hi, Ally – This is completely something that I would do. And Z-D’s reaction is the same as Richard’s would be…although Richard would likely start laughing at me BEFORE he turned on the lights. Hoping you are feeling 100% better now! Thank you for the morning smile.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Donna, I don’t know how Z-D managed to not laugh immediately, but he did. I was soooo surprised by what happened, that shouting for him is all I could think to do. All better now, no lasting damage– just a story to tell.

      Liked by 2 people

  52. Glad you’re ok Ally Bean after this misfortune. You told it well. But it made me rather tense, remembering the times I’ve been unable to open the bathroom door when inside and in an unfamiliar place. I was thinking I’d blame the wall for getting in the way. Remove the wall forthwith … and if not a nightlight a handy torch –

    Liked by 4 people

    • Susan, thanks for your concern. I’m fine, but the incident did give me pause. I’d never thought about how significant a nose injury could be during the time of Covid-19. By all means, blame any and all walls for future probs you encounter. Yes, a torch [or flashlight as they’re called here] is a great idea.

      Liked by 2 people

    • L. Marie, oh my! I’d think that walking into a glass door would hurt more than a wall. At least the wall sort of gave as I bashed into, but solid glass is strong. I’m glad you were ok… and that I was ok… and that I’ve learned my lesson about being more careful after turning off my reading lights. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  54. Oh, I’m so sorry! I hope nothing was broken. But if it helps any, you’re not the only one who has had problems with nocturnal accidents. In the past twenty years or so, I’ve cracked my chin open on the bathroom sink (I threw a kleenex in the trash can next to the sink, missed because it was so dark in there, and hit my chin when I leaned down to pick it up), I’ve given myself a black eye when I banged it into the corner of the night stand trying to pick up the remote in a dark bedroom, and split open my lip when I became suddenly dizzy on the way back to the bedroom from the bathroom and fell face down on the carpet. (I’ve since told my husband he’d better be very, very nice to me, because if I went to the doctor with any of those injuries, they’d be looking at him very suspiciously………)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ann, oh your mishaps are hilarious– and I’m glad you weren’t truly hurt. I can imagine me doing all of them, especially picking up the remote and giving myself a black eye. I LOVE your warning to your husband, all things considered. Thanks for the smiles, but BE CAREFUL, okay?

      Liked by 2 people

  57. I often hit the wall, especially when rounding corners … in my own house and in broad daylight. So no surprise that anyone would hit the wall walking into a dark room. That’s just common sense 😉 At least you got a funny story out of it and no damage to your nose. And thank goodness for that because who would want to be going to a hospital during a pandemic for a broken nose?!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Marie, it was a weird moment for me. I was so stunned by what I’d done and, of course, my brain went into warp drive about what *could* happen. I did get a funny story out of it and am happy that nothing really awful happened.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh, indeed, a broken nose would not have been a funny story. Although here’s a slightly funny story. Many years ago, my sister flew from NY to FL for a visit. When she arrived she was sporting a black eye. Nothing was said about it for a few hours when I finally asked her, “Is there something you want to tell me about you and your husband?” She laughed and shook her head. “No, no. He didn’t do this. I just walked into a wall.”

        Liked by 1 person

  62. A whack to the nose is never something to laugh at in my books. I’ve had more than my fair share of them over the years, and I must say I’m not sure which is worse – the injury, or no visible evidence that great pain was endured!!

    Glad your nose escaped unscathed 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    • Joanne, THANK YOU for your understanding. When I walked into that wall it hurt and I was immediately scared. Of course, my mind went to all sorts of awful Covid-19 related scenarios, so that didn’t help. Fortunately Z-D was kindness personified… before he burst into laughter. I am unscathed so that’s how I plan to think about all of this.

      Liked by 2 people

  63. All I can say is OW, because I also walk into things, but like, with glasses, without glasses, in the light, in the dark, inside, outside, wherever, I am the crash. Hopefully you will return to your normal state of grace and Z-D can just hush.

    Liked by 4 people

    • joey, oh dear, you are THE crash for sure. Walking into the wall was a ridiculous thing to do, but I did it. I’m still suspicious of that wall… I really think it was laying in wait for me. 😒

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  64. Ha! I am glad someone else walks into stuff and overreacts to injuries. Exactly where my mind would have gone if I thought I had broken my nose! 🙂 At least you got a good blog post from the ordeal.

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  65. In college I opened a super heavy university library door without moving my nose out of the way. Blood EVERYWHERE. At the emergency room, after sitting in the waiting room for close to an hour, I was brought to a curtained-off area. The doctor came in, I explained what happened, and he/she (I honestly can’t remember) told me to look in the mirror. Then he/she asked, “Does it look broken.” I’m not sure what the final bill was, but it was way more than my college-age self could afford, especially considering the doctor asked me to diagnose myself. What’s that they say about American healthcare? Best care in the world? Ha! Stay safe out there! And in your case, in the bedroom.

    Liked by 3 people

    • The Travel Architect, oh what a story you tell. I can imagine how you did what you did, it happens. But to wait around in the ER to self-diagnose is annoying– and costly it’d seem. If it’s not one thing, it’s another!

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  67. shortly after we moved into this house I got up one night — I have no idea why now – and walked smack into the solid wood door edge. Not the flat part of the door but the edge. My scream brought my other half upstairs. Nothing broken but shit it hurt. I’ve got sympathy to share with you!

    Liked by 3 people

    • bernieLynne, it’s easy to walk into things at night, that’s for sure. I’m sorry you did what you did, but am totally there with you about how much it hurt. I mean, one second I was winding down to sleep, the next second I was wide awake & in pain.

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  70. [I am almost a week behind in Reader and scrambling to catch up.] Well Ali – this post reminds me of when my friend and I went to the show to see “Love Story” many years ago. I think every female in the show was sobbing at the demise of Ali MacGraw’s character Jenny and the utterance “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” As I dabbed away at my eyes, we had to get outside as her mom was picking us up. I walked right into the outside door as my blurry eyes had not adjusted to the sunlight and I slammed full force into the door. I am lucky I neither broke my nose, nor my glasses. Debbie looked at me like I was some sort of doofus and I wanted to melt away I’m sure. The manager came over to ask if I was okay. He was likely happy when I murmured “yes” and hurriedly left. I wasn’t even offered a box of Raisinets or Goobers and a pat on the hand and “there-there” and I had a heck of a bruise the next day.

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    • Linda, oh dear that’s a funny story. Glad you weren’t hurt. It’s so easy to assume your eyes are working when they aren’t. I agree that a box of Raisinets or Goobers would have gone a long way toward soothing your boo-boo nose. Bad manager, bad manager!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes I lucked out Ally. After I pressed send I noticed your name was misspelled. I had Ali MacGraw on my mind. The manager was probably quickly calculating “was this something she did or are we liable – what exactly happened here?”

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  71. I’ve also learnt my lesson (a few times) about trying to get around the house without lights. But even with lights on, there’s no guarantee. I was recently asked about a bruise on my arm, to which I replied “the wall was in my way”

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    • YES, Pistachios! That’s exactly how I felt about our bathroom wall. You’re right about there being no guarantee about not walking into something with the lights on. Clumsy is as clumsy does.

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  72. This is so hilarious, not your unfortunate mishap, just the relatable situation. I needed a good chuckle, thank you.

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