Comment Confidential: The Perks And Pitfalls Of Reaching Out To Newfound Bloggers

/ Ally Bean

~ 💚~

I feel the need to confide.

One change brought about by the Covid-19 Pandemic is that some bloggers, often longtime bloggers, have stopped posting. As a result many of my bloggy friends, ones who were here and I was there all the time, aren’t around anymore.

I miss them but understand why they’ve moved on and I realize that my blogging community is different, a bit emptier, without them in it.

Thus a couple of months ago, as I was sitting here at home still, I decided to be more extroverted and started reaching out to bloggers who were new to me. I felt that as a longtime blogger I could be proactive about creating bloggy friendships, especially with newfound bloggers.

These newfound bloggers came my way: 1) by leaving comments/likes on my blog; 2) when I saw them comment on blog posts elsewhere; and/or 3) when I saw they were part of the A-to-Z Challenge.

To be clear I only commented on blog posts that I found interesting, never as a way of ingratiating myself to someone hoping for reciprocity, never as a troll. I just said what I was thinking in the moment, like I always have, hoping that my first contact didn’t seem too weird or too nutz.

Then I waited to see how I would be received.

Below is a list of the perks and pitfalls that happened when I reached out to newfound bloggers. ‘Twas an enlightening experience. I’m glad I challenged myself to go outside my comfort zone and do this, but now I’m back to being my more introverted [ambiverted?] self, happy to chat with friendly bloggers who show an interest in what I have to say here.

Thank you very much.

~ 💚~

ONE: Encouraging. Many bloggers seemed pleased that I jumped into their comment section, replying in a timely fashion that made me feel welcome.

TWO: Confusing. Some bloggers sent out mixed signals. Despite generic polite replies I couldn’t figure if I was butting into their circle of blog friends or if I was wanted and they were just surprised by my interest.

THREE: Different. A few bloggers have tightly structured comment sections reminiscent of the singsong Episcopalian worship service’s Collect of the Day. Everyone who left a comment got a pleasant reply [blessing? response?] but the conversations in the comment section never went any farther.

FOUR: Duly noted. A few bloggers ignored my comment, or marginalized it by only ‘liking’ my comment, so that I got the clear impression I was not wanted.

FIVE: Perplexing. Some bloggers have commenting systems that ate my comment not indicating if it was being held in moderation or was not accepted. Should I try again? Do they want comments? [Was WP screwing with me again?]

SIX: Questionable. A few bloggers don’t seem to reply to comments at all, even though they had many of them. Without clearly stating how they process comments it was impossible for me to know if some commenters get an email reply behind the scene and I wasn’t worthy of one or if everyone doesn’t receive a reply.

SEVEN: Uplifting. After leaving a comment for some newfound bloggers, they were curious to see who I was and came here to this blog, often immediately jumping into my comment section.

EIGHT: Sociable. Often when commenting on a newfound blog I came across bloggers who also comment here. As a way of introduction in my first comment to the newfound blogger I’d mention our mutual bloggy friend because interconnectedness is one of the best things about blogging, right?

~ 💚~

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Are you inclined to leave comments on newfound blogs that you come across in blog land?

How do you feel when you do that? Do you assume the blogger wants your comment or do you figure you might be an intruder? Or some point in-between?

What’s the best thing that can happen when you leave a comment on a blog post?

~ ~ 💚~ ~

 

 

 

388 thoughts on “Comment Confidential: The Perks And Pitfalls Of Reaching Out To Newfound Bloggers”

  1. I have faced the same issues as you. Old blog friends gone, new people reading mine. I am still shy about commenting on posts of bloggers I don’t “know” because if all the reasons you stated. I try to read at least ine blog of everyone who likes or comments in mine. I do only comment in the ones I feel like I can participate in well, or who wrote an outstanding piece. But…I’m still hesitant….

    Liked by 15 people

  2. I will leave comments I I feel like saying something. Like you, I don’t do it just because. Sometimes, I never hear back, oh well. Sometimes, I am welcomed as one of the cool kids and I have a new blog buddy 😊

    Liked by 9 people

    • Dan, I’ve had the same experiences as you. Years ago I said, referring to comments on blogs, that you create your own good or bad karma determined by how you respond to comments left on your blog. I still believe that.

      Liked by 5 people

  3. I leave comments when something touches me in some way. Then I wait to see if they respond. Like you, I have found a variety of responses, some leaving me wondering if I should continue to respond to their work or not, am I welcome or not? I do love those which have created online friendships.

    Liked by 7 people

    • Rebecca, I’m with you. I love the people who want to create online friendships, but am confused about other people who sort of seem interested in my comments– but maybe not? Are they looking for friends or fans? Seems to me like those are two different things. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve been struggling with this too. Some bloggers who haven’t stopped are on a sabbatical or post less frequently and I miss them. I comment on other blogs and when I see something interesting, I’ll go to their blog to see if I like it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m not rigid but some blogs are focused on crafts or solely traveling, neither interest me unless there is a huge human connection. I haven’t noticed whether my comments are responded to but there is the rare occasion when I connect with someone new but it’s almost always through another blogger. I get some comments on my blog, like “nice post come visit me.” I will visit only to find out there is no commonality and they are just searching for stats. A long time ago when I started, WP did Freshly Pressed, highlighting interesting posts every day. I found people there. These days, the changed it to something else. I don’t visit it anymore as the posts are not topics I’m interested in. From what I saw when I did look, a lot were on hot topics happening rather than human interest stuff.

    Liked by 8 people

    • Kate, yes, I hear you and agree with all you said here. I miss the people who used to post more often, but can’t fault them for doing their own thing, living their lives. I tried to intentionally make some new connections these last few months and it was an experience. I know what you mean about some lovely bloggers who focus on narrow topics, so narrow that I cannot find anything to say to them.

      I’d forgotten about Freshly Pressed, but you’re right I did find some bloggers through it. Dan at No Facilities who commented above, for one. I’m not interested in hot topics or current issues, as much as I am in getting to know someone.

      Liked by 4 people

  5. I do check out new-to-me bloggers on a regular basis ~> because they commented on SLTW, or I see them in other comment streams, etc.

    If I like the first post, I check out a couple more and then choose one or two of their posts to post an “encouraging” comment on. I don’t always check back to see how they respond to my comments.

    If I really like the blog’s subject matter, I subscribe to receive notifications of new posts, increasing the odds of developing a true blogging connection.

    If the blogger doesn’t write in complete sentences or coherent paragraphs, I hasten toward the exit sign without leaving a comment behind. Same if the subject matter is too religious, or is otherwise offensive to my sensibilities. 😆

    Liked by 8 people

    • Nancy, your approach is the same as mine. I like to read a few posts before I comment, too. I only comment when I feel so moved so it’s not like I’m a commenting machine handing them out willy-nilly.

      Good point about the potential negative impact when it comes to the way in which a blogger writes– and dare I add, the ways in which they might be trying to sell something. Like you, there are many subjects I have no interest in exploring, so I move on.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I’ll leave a comment on a blog topic that piques my interest, as this one has.😁 If he blog is new to me, I’ll read a few posts before commenting, to make sure I get a stronger sense of the person writing. I’ll also read the comment sections, to get a sense of the community.
    I start off assuming the blogger wants comments and usually most will leave some indication that they do…as you and I both do, Ally. But as

    Liked by 8 people

  7. Whoops…I hit Post prematurely. Sorry.
    But as I have found out, there are bloggers who don’t care about comments.
    And also comments get sent to spam purgatory (thanks WP!) and sometimes bloggers forget to check. I wonder if this is the problem with the new bloggers whose blogs seem to eat your comments.
    The best thing that can happen when you comment on a new blog, is that the 2 of you have a meeting of the minds that leads to a meeting in person, and a new friendship IRL as well as on your blogs occurs! That has been my experience more than a few times now.
    Thanks Ally! Thoughtful post and good questions!

    Deb

    Liked by 4 people

    • Deb, your approach to reaching out to a newfound blogger is the same as mine. I’m looking for an interesting sincere person and I’m looking at the other commenters to see if there is a sense of the community among them. The thing about bloggers who don’t care about comments is: WHY DO THEY HAVE THEM? Am I supposed to leave one so that I stroke their egos? Are they so new to blogging that they don’t know how to close them? Questions, I always have questions.

      As for meeting a blogger in real life, that has never happened for me. [Well technically it has. I accidentally met a blogger in real life and she was not an overly nice person so I didn’t introduce myself.] But I know for you, writing a blog has led to real life friendships and that is cool beans.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I actually question why people blog and leave comments open if they have no desire to read comments. Maybe it’s just a different perspective – they write to get it out and then forget about it and go on with their lives. I write because I like to see/read the comments which often give new/different perspectives.

    I try to engage new bloggers with comments. I don’t take it personally when they don’t acknowledge immediately or even a few days later. People have reasons. If I like the content, I will go read them anyway. I do this for a while…but, if they repeatedly do not acknowledge (by a like, at least) the comment I left, then I choose to not return. Not as a punishment, but because I see the responding to comments (or at least acknowledging) as common courtesy. I take time out of my day to acknowledge you, isn’t this what you want with this blog post – kind of mentality.

    So it depends. But in general, I do like reading new blogs which mostly come to me via my own, or other blogs’ comments.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Writer of Words, that is THE question, isn’t it? Why have your comment section open, if responding to them isn’t for you? No answer, but goodness to the gracious there are a lot of bloggers who do that, I know this now for sure.

      The way in which you think about blog comments is the way I do, too. If I take the time to leave a comment, and it will only be a sincere one, then I’d like to know you read it, at least with a like. Better yet, reply to me in your comment section. Be friendly. I’m not obsessed with reciprocity, but I’m pleased when someone decides to read and comment here. It’s that sort of connection that makes blogging interesting and unique.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. When I decided to be part of the community, I liked and commented on blogs that participated in the original “word of the day.” This had really good results for me that still continue. Most in my circle are still blogging, and this gives me lots of good daily reads. I think it’s important to focus on bloggers who have something in common with you ~ in my case, it is a love of words. The few times I left the zone ~ to try to interact with food bloggers, forex ~ the results were meh. Most likely that’s because I don’t care about cooking!

    Liked by 5 people

    • Paula, I never did Word of the Day so I don’t think I know anyone, other than you, who was part of it. Interesting how you connected through it. I did do NaBloPoMo a few years and some of those bloggers still stop by from time to time. These last few months I focused on people who seemed to enjoy writing and their lives and being sociable. That’s my friend zone. They’re out there, but more difficult to find than they were years ago.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. If a new person comments over at the Dept., I automatically check their blog and leave a comment there. If I like the blog, I stick around and comment on each post, even if that writer refuses to respond to comments, which you know I consider a faux pas, UNLESS that new person’s comment was a drive-by and I never hear from him/her again. Then, I may continue reading if I enjoy the writing, but I won’t comment anymore.

    I have to say AGAIN–why have a comment section if you don’t respond to comments in some way? I love that interaction, and we have terrific conversation in my comment section. With one another! And we’re very welcoming.

    Can I say one more thing? It bugs the crap out of me when a writer chooses to answer my comment to him/her about his/her post ON MY POST IN MY COMMENTS. That is incredibly rude.

    Was I rude just then to haul out a soapbox and commandeer your comments to rant about comments in general? Did I set a record for using the word comments? Sigh.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Nance, I also consider it a faux pas to not respond to comments left on a post. If it happens here it’s an accident, not intentional. I’m with you, if you don’t want comments then don’t have a comment section.

      Blogging isn’t a solitary activity, it’s a chance to connect with other people around the world so take advantage of it. But I have to wonder if some people consider their blog to be a soliloquy and we readers are merely the chorus– or maybe just the audience. No need to pay attention to us.

      I don’t think I’ve had anyone respond to my comment on their blog by commenting here on this blog. THAT’S A NEW ONE. That’s weird, but no doubt given enough time that’ll happen here, too.

      As for getting on your soap box here, please do. That’s part of what makes comment sections so fun, people come out with the most amazingly unexpected things. I love it.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ally, like you, I miss many bloggers who appear to have taken a bit of a hiatus this past year. I should probably include myself in that group!😂. As far as commenting, feeling a connection is important to me. I often find new bloggers through comment sections of those bloggers I already follow and like many have stated here, usually pop over to read a few posts & perhaps leave a comment or two before making the decision to subscribe. I don’t understand why you would have a comment section if you don’t want to engage or respond to comments. For me, this is a big part of the reason I write, to share thoughts & ideas & often, form friendships in the process. 💕

    Liked by 5 people

    • Lynn, you and I think alike. I enjoy comment sections on blogs because I learn things about people and I get the opportunity to go meet some newfound bloggers. A few months ago when I started my proactive search for new to me bloggers, I’d no idea that I’d find quite a few who either ignored me– or weren’t curious to come see what I was up to. I don’t know that I was as surprised by this as I was disheartened, but people do what they do and I’m not about to change ’em.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Ally pulls back the veil! I enjoyed hearing about your efforts and reading comments from other bloggers. I’ve been less proactive on checking out new blogs. Maybe I am in a rut.

    I’m definitely one of those bloggers who is writing less during the pandemic, but I felt like there’s been a huge blogger drop-off over the last 3-4 years. The younger folks are doing vlogs or TikToks, which are so popular. But they’re also time-consuming. I can read a post much faster (although some of the videos are compressed and hilarious).

    Liked by 5 people

    • AutumnAshbough, yes I’m talking about that which shall not be talked about… except why not talk about it? ‘Tis true that some bloggers behave in ways that suggest insincere motives for having a comment section on their blogs. It’s been years since I intentionally went on a search for some new bloggy friends and I learned a lot while doing this.

      I’m like you I’d prefer to quickly read something on a blog than watch something, although I do get a kick out of TikToks. Don’t think I’ll start making them, but I can enjoy the ones I see and still write/read/comment on blogs. It’s not an either/or situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Ally – This is a great blog topic. I love to see how other bloggers approach comments and new blogs. I feel lucky to be one of the blogs that you ‘found’ during the pandemic. I think I fall in that category anyway.

    I love comments. I love replying back to comments as it feels so much more conversational. Over the years, I’ve really enjoyed building relationships with my friends in the blogosphere. I like to check out new blogs, and I too will leave a comment if the blog interests me or if I feel like we might have common ground. It can be intimidating to comment on a blog with SO MANY comments. What if the blogger isn’t open to newbie bloggers joining the conversation? I do check back to see if the blogger responded to my comment. Sometimes when I see a new comment no my blog, I worry that this wasn’t my best post, was it too long? Boring? The possibility of new visitors serves as a constant reminder to make each post the best possible, a goal that I don’t always meet. Good to have goals though. 😉

    Liked by 6 people

    • Ernie, I’m glad we connected during this pandemic, too. Our relationship is a tribute to the organic way comment sections can work: one blogger knows another blogger who knows another blogger– and there you are, a bloggy friend. That’s how it used to always be, but lately finding people who want to have vibrant comment sections has become more difficult.

      Like you I check back to see how my comments are received because to my way of thinking that’s part of how it works. It’s the public conversations that add the spice to blogging. I like your goal setting idea for each post. I do that, but have never stopped to consider that I do that. 🤔

      Like

  14. It’s too bad that Freshly Pressed is gone, as I found bloggers there, as well. Mostly I have a set number of bloggers I follow and only add another if one stops posting. Sounds rigid, but I want to be able to spend time on a blogger’s post, not just click like, and since my time is limited, I have to limit my follows. I find bloggers who are interesting to me through comments on the posts of others I follow, so there’s often connection through shared interests or mind-set. I’ve experienced what you’re referring to, though. Formulaic responses, or none at all, or the sense that you’re intruding!

    Liked by 5 people

    • Lynette, yes it’s too bad that Freshly Pressed is history. I liked it, too. I understand your desire to limit the number of blogs you follow so you feel that you’re adding value when you read and comment. For me it’s the number of hours I’m willing to invest in blogging more than the number of blogs I follow, but the same sentiment is at the heart of it. I’m not here to pretend I care.

      If nothing else from these last few months I’ll say that at least when someone ignores you, you know for sure to go away. With the other experiences I feel at a loss about what to do. Continue following or cut bait? What to do…

      Liked by 1 person

  15. If I find a blog that seems interesting I’ll usually follow for a bit and at least leave likes on the post or others comments. I suppose that’s my way of testing the waters so to speak. I also rather enjoy the small number of blogs I do follow because that number is manageable. Does that make me lazy? Unwilling to branch out? Stingy with my time and efforts? Set in my ways?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Deb, I also will follow a blogger for a while before I decide if I’m going to add them to my following list. I don’t think you’re lazy, I think you’re being pragmatic. We all have to establish limits when it comes to blogging. Like you I’m not here for the quantity, I’m here for the quality which I define as articulate + sincere. Plus a sense of humor is good, too. No Debbie Downers for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. The pandemic did just the opposite for me, it brought me back to blogging after a very long break. Ever since my early days of blogging I’ve been what I call a blog jogger. When I have time I will click on others I don’t know and say hello. I still don’t know how we didn’t run into each other sooner!

    I do find it odd that there are many times I don’t get a visit back when I leave a comment and introduce myself to someone. It just seems rude to me. If someone comments on my blog I always visit and comment unless it’s a spam type blog, but even then I’ll at least reply to their comment and thank them for stopping by.

    This is a topic I could go on and on about, but I don’t want to write a book in your comment section lol. I just hope I’m one of the cool kids now 😉

    Liked by 4 people

    • Martha, I’m glad you’ve come back to blogging so not everything about the pandemic has been awful. You’re here now and we’ve connected. Yay!

      You’re right that when you feel like there should be a *click* with a newfound blogger and there’s no return visit, it seems odd. Makes me doubt myself a little bit, did I misread something? Of course through the screen without visual clues it is difficult to get to know anyone so I let the situation go. Move on, I say to myself.

      And yes you are one of the Cool Kids now. Glad to have in the gang. 😎

      Like

  17. I guess it is different for me as I am a blog reader, not a blogger. I comment when I have something to say and I do enjoy getting a response from the blogger. However, I do read a lot of blogs that do not reply but I still enjoy them for content. I also enjoy reading all of the comments so I am glad when bloggers have a comment section even when they themselves don’t respond to each comment. Sometimes we get interesting discussions going in the comments! Or share funny comments.
    I appreciate all of the bloggers I have found and like to explore the bloggers they recommend. It has been a wonderful, interesting activity for me and I feel as if I am finding friends all over the world!
    Thanks!

    Liked by 6 people

    • Ellen D, I appreciate your perspective as someone who is a fan of blogs, but doesn’t write one. I’d guess that it’s fun to see what’s up with people, while not feeling as emotionally invested in blogging as a blogger does. I think that my biggest takeaway from these last few months of going outside my commenting comfort zone is: there are friendly people out there and when you find each other it’s great. Reciprocity still happens. So that’s what I’ll focus on.

      Like

  18. So many people leaving through the years took something from me. Actually, one of the reasons I stopped at my long-time blog, but to then resurface on a new blog. Nonetheless, seems our approaches are similar. I too will venture out to comment – and like you, I’m measured where I do so and with what words. The ones that get me the most are, Thanks for commenting. That’s the way they treat first-time commenters? No thanks. One person even wrote in their About page, “I’m not very good at blogging” … no kidding … So why are they blogging? SCREAM! 🙂 Oh well … good post Ally.

    Liked by 6 people

  19. I’m aware that I’m one of those bloggers who have gone MIA since the beginning of the pandemic, but I too remember the feeling of loss when a long-time bloggie friend disappears into the ether.

    You did a great job of summarizing the various feelings when leaving comments on a new blog. Number 2 was always the weirdest in my opinion … that feeling that I had stumbled into a ‘private’ conversation, and although the response was polite enough, it was never exactly ‘inviting’.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Joanne, I get why people are dropping out of the blogosphere, and I hold no resentment toward anyone. We all do what we do in the ways that make sense to us.

      And YEP about #2. I felt so awkward in those situations. I couldn’t decide if I’d done something wrong by commenting. I meant no harm and the comments were open, but I’m not sure that I want to go back and comment again. I don’t know how to handle situations like these.

      Like

  20. I am so glad you wrote this. I have been having similar thoughts lately, especially noticing how many old blogging friends have stopped writing. I will sometimes read a comment on a blog that makes me want to know more about the person who wrote it. If they have a blog I will go there and read. I always love when new readers stop by The New Dharma Bums and leave a comment, always glad to know that there are people still out there in the internet world who want to connect. Roger and I started blogging in late 2004. These past 16 years have introduced us to some of the most lovely people all around our beautiful planet. Thank you for blogging and commenting!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Robin, I didn’t know you started blogging in 2004. That’s when I started, too. Does that make us dinosaurs or pioneers? I usually am more laidback about commenting elsewhere, but being stuck at home for as long as we have been I decided to up my game and intentionally look for new to me blogs. Many, many people were great and fun and I’m happy to know them, but some other people did give me pause. Not everyone seems to be a fan of comments, yet they have them on their blogs. Do not get that.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Oy, the comments thing. I’ve been at this for close to 16 years now, and to be an old-fogey, it was better in the old days! Comment exchanges went on for days – and often were more interesting than the original post. I loved comments. Nowadays I find that the only comments that are welcome are the innocuous ones. I respond to all comments but the innocuous ones (Nice post) make it hard to get a conversation going, not much to say in acknowledgment other than ‘Thank you’.

    Of the few people who read my blog and comment, I have known them for as long as I’ve been blogging, that’s a lot of years, so I think probably someone reading those exchanges might be put off by their familiarity. (And yes, I have met blogging friends in RL.)

    I am a new reader of yours and I don’t recall how I found you, but I enjoy your blog immensely. You are one of those people who I wish would post more. I find new bloggers by reading comments, anyone who piques my interest gets a visit, I live in hope.

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    • Grace, I started my first blog in 2004 so I’m an old fogey, too. I agree with you. Back then having ongoing conversations was the norm and they could be a hoot, going on for days, no one trying to *influence* anyone else. 🙄

      A few of my earliest bloggy friends still stop by here occasionally. I know what you mean about a sense of familiarity that goes on in those cases. It’s nice, but now people come and go from blogging more often so while I enjoy who I chat with in the comments, it’s more about shifting sands.

      I don’t know how I found you either! My brain is really a colander that remembers less and less each year. Thanks for the compliment about this blog. I’ll get back to a weekly blogging schedule come summer after I’m fully vaccinated and can get out to do some things worth writing about. Right now life is dull, dull, dull…

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  22. First off: I tend to lurk (remember that term?!) before I jump into commenting on a new to me blog as part of deciding whether their post was a one-off I liked or if their blog website would be one I’d like to ‘commit’ to following. When I do decide to follow a new to me blog I often comment on their current post and then introduce myself as a new follower – if via another blogger’s blog or just by my curious self discovery of it! HA!
    I’m afraid I’m one of those who has recently begun to wane on the blogging front…I’m tired, I’m worn out, I’m wasted (remember that term???!!!) I know you get that, Ms Bean.
    But I still want the connections so I do try to offer up at least one post a month (!) and I’m touched that commenters still comment!
    As always, I remain one of your ‘cool kids’!
    😎
    ps-today is my second jab – yippeeeee!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Laura, I’d forgotten about lurking. There used to be an official de-lurker day on which people such as yourself would be asked to reveal themselves. Bwha-ha-ha! So yes, I remember that term. I think your approach to how you interact with a newfound blogger is sound. I like to introduce myself, too. But don’t always do that so call me flighty.

      I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND about being worn out lately. I’m finding it more difficult to think of anything to write about here because I’m not doing much of anything. I’m rooting for you and your second jab. I know that’ll be a big relief for you. Carry on Cool Kid and I’ll read ‘ya when I see ‘ya.

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  23. Interesting discussion Ally. I go through phases of checking out new blogs. Frequently I go through to the blogs of other commenters on a blog I read regularly, but I’ve also participated in the April A-Z challenge for a number of years. The results could be considered depressing if I was looking for a particular number of blogs to read and/or followers for my own blog, but I’m looking for like-minded individuals, so am entirely happy if I find even one new potential blog friend. There’s a daily blog I follow and read whenever I have the time, because it’s so well written, snarky, informative, and has great discussions in the comments. The blogger visited my blog once & left a comment, but my content is clearly not their type of content, and I don’t hold that against them. I continue to read (& comment) because I really enjoy their content and the interaction I find on their blog.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deb, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve been home all this winter I don’t think I’d have gotten so intentional with my search for new to me bloggers. BUT sitting here I thought why not? I didn’t realize I’d stumble over so many different ways in which bloggers reply [or not] to comments. It turned into a fascinating study of human behavior.

      I don’t have any preconceived number of blogs that I must follow. I’m much too mellow for that sort of organized approach to blogging. Like you I look for people who seem to have a good handle on writing and living and sharing. I’ve never been one to worry about reciprocity so I understand why you keep reading the blog that you do. Makes sense to me.

      Liked by 1 person

        • Well, Joni, now I’m curious. Did you have side effects? I was worried about it, but neither my husband nor I had more than a sore arm…and relief at being fully vaccinated! Yea!

          Liked by 1 person

          • I was okay…a bit tired from days 3-5, and kind of a strange feeling. We are only getting one dose here in Canada due to short supply, with our second dose being 4 months from now, but I’m grateful to at least have had one.

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            • From what I’ve read, there’s quite a bit of protection after that first shot, so I’m wishing you all the best. Hopefully, everyone who is willing to be vaccinated will have access soon. I am very appreciative to have had the opportunity.

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  25. Well, you put a lot of thought into constructing those 8 (gasp!) well-reasoned categories. Woo-hoo! I read the post and many of the comments, indicating you hit a nerve.

    Like you, I always reply to readers who take the time/make the effort to comment. Many of my bloggy friends have been with me since I began in 2013, but yes – some have fallen away. And I don’t fault them for that, especially if they are writing a new book.
    Recently, I’ve had to contend with a few trolls: “Please, please, please read my blog” when there were 2-3 posts and nothing of substance. Sorry, but “no.”

    On another note, I always assume the blogger wants my comment until it goes un-noticed. Most importantly, as you say, “interconnectedness is one of the best things about blogging, right?”

    Indeed!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marian, in its own way writing this post with the categories was fun. When I decided to be more proactive about commenting on newfound blogs I wasn’t doing it to write a post about how people responded, but once I realized the variety of responses, including being ignored, a blog post was born.

      I never fault anyone who stops blogging or fades away. I may miss them, but I get it. Lives change, priorities change, and we all move on. It is just that sometimes too many people move on all at once like what’s happened during this pandemic.

      I get those weird troll comments, too. Why would I read your blog when you haven’t even demonstrated the ability to write a proper comment here? Not to mention, if you’re all about selling me something, I’m not interested.

      [A note: I’m not sure if my comments are getting through on your blog. I never get any indication via WP that they have. FYI]

      Liked by 3 people

  26. Are you inclined to leave comments on newfound blogs that you come across in blog land?
    If I have something to say in response to the blog, yes. I hit the “like” button to say “hey, I stopped by and liked what I read”.

    How do you feel when you do that? Now, that’s something I hadn’t thought about – how do I feel? My intent is friendly, if that’s what you’re asking.
    Do you assume the blogger wants your comment or do you figure you might be an intruder? I assume the blogger wants comments if he/she has a comment section.
    Or some point in-between? I have never even thought about whether or not I might be an intruder. I have always assumed that if people are blogging, putting posts out there for the public to view, they would want visitors, and would want the visitors to comment if they had something to say.

    What’s the best thing that can happen when you leave a comment on a blog post? I guess that the blogger would read the comment, respond if they felt a response was pertinent, feel glad or not that someone visited and commented.
    I’m getting the feeling that my whole viewpoint about this blogging thing is different than that of many of you. I blog because/when I have words that want to come out, and I love it when people stop by to read, “like”, comment if they have sometime to say, and if I appeal to them, come back another day. I respond to comments when I have something to say in response, otherwise, I try to say I appreciate your comment by liking it. In no way does my lack of response indicate I view you as an intruder. It’s not a closed club.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Carol, like you I only comment when I have something to say, but I found when I left my first contact comment with newfound bloggers not all of them responded in a friendly way. My experiences beg the question: why do some bloggers have comment sections if they have no interesting in replying to comments? No answer, of course.

      Your use of the ‘like’ button is different from mine. I tend to hit ‘like’ only if I’m also leaving a wordy comment; I rarely use it in place of words. I try to have conversations in the comments whether here or elsewhere. In truth if I only receive a ‘like’ on a comment that I leave on a blog post, I figure I’m not wanted, but you say otherwise. That’s an interesting insight. We all approach blogging from such unique perspectives.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. This is super interesting and something I think about too. Sometimes when I leave a comment on a new blog I worry that the blogger will think I’m too out there or not part of the inner circle of commenters. Sometimes I get weird replies too. But for the most part, I am happily surprised at how I’m received. That said, you have to be genuine and not be making some generic comment. I have seen that on my blog and I know that’s just someone looking for reciprical attention. Great post!

    Liked by 5 people

    • Barbara, you’ve summed up my point of view with your comment. I don’t want to be an intruder, but I want to make some bloggy friends so I try to comment when I can. I leave genuine comments and can spot a generic reply in a second. I find that for the most part people who comment here are authentic, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically follow them. There has to be some mutual sphere of interest, ‘ya know?

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Hmm, it’s interesting that you did this because I’m one of those “doesn’t blog a lot anymore” people. That isn’t to say that you and I commented a lot on each other’s blogs, however I never stopped reading a lot of those that I followed but it’s passive following that doesn’t show evidence of my reading. I need to change that…. Anyway, the few times that I’ve ventured onto new blogs that I’ve discovered and left comments, the reception was mixed and often turned me off from continuing to search further. I’ve always made sure to not comment on anything that wasn’t older than a few weeks though, the potential of a response drastically reduces the older the post is it seems. My own rule of thumb is that if comment is a closed statement, it got a “like”, if it was an open statement (or had questions), it got a response. Not perfect, but it worked for me when I was writing more frequently.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Andrew, I’m happy to see you here commenting again. How funny that a post about commenting on newfound bloggers has brought out an older blogger who I haven’t heard from in a while.

      I like how your phrase your experiences with newfound blogs: “the reception was mixed and often turned me off from continuing to search further.” I GET THAT! It took willpower on my part to keep up my proactive commenting regime for two months. I really prefer to receive comments here, rather than extend myself elsewhere. Am I allowed to say that?

      Like

    • Andrew, good point about the the nature of the comment. Maybe a bulk of us write “closed” comments on unfamiliar blogs ( we’re making them) because it seems less risky? Just thinking here, not sure.😊

      Liked by 1 person

  29. I’ve done the same as you with similar results. I enjoy commenting, but some bloggers don’t acknowledge or respond to comments, so after a while, I’ve given up. I still read some of their posts, but don’t feel encouraged to say anything. On the other hand, I’ve met a couple of really cool new bloggers out of the ones I’ve visited, so it’s been (overall) worth going out of my comfort zone.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Margaret, I have no problem giving up on bloggers who ignore me. It’s not the way in which I believe blogging should be, but if there’s no reply to my comment, either publicly or via email, then I move on. It’s a shame though, blogging can be interactive and fun and supportive, when people allow it to happen.

      Like

  30. I always assume bloggers want comments, or at least that comments are not intrusions. I’ve never even heard of a blogger being huffy because someone new commented, or a blogger being weird about their commenting section being some sort of members-only situation.

    I never assume a blogger will reply individually to each comment, and I never think that NOT replying is a snub or an ignoring of my comment or an attempt to exclude me—I guess because, as a blogger, that’s not at all the way I’m feeling about comments/commenters when I don’t reply, and I’d be pretty horrified to hear that someone thought it was (and also a little weirded out by it, because it seems normal/standard to me for bloggers not to reply to every comment).

    I don’t notice if a blogger has replied to my comment or not, because I don’t go back to posts to check—UNLESS, sometimes I’ve asked a specific question, and then I might leave the post window open for awhile to remind me to go back and look. Otherwise I don’t think to do that.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Swistle, I’ve been blogging a long time and it may be that I come into commenting from a different [antiquated?] perspective. I always assume every comment will be answered individually and that to not do so suggests I’m not wanted. While my comment section is open, usually for two weeks, I try to make a point of looking back at replies so that I may then continue the conversation if need be.

      I look at blogging as friendly chitchat, but not everyone does. I get that, especially after these last few months. Like I said having started blogging in 2004 I may be out of touch with current blogging etiquette. Wouldn’t be the first time I do things differently! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  31. I’m sure everyone blogs differently, and for different reasons. Me? If someone likes my blog I pop by their page, scout around and if they seem like my tribe… I comment on a few posts. Sometimes this sparks a conversation, a connection, a follow. Sometimes it’s ignored. I have people who like and follow me but never comment. To each their own. I’ll reach out, but if there’s no feedback I tend to move along.

    Liked by 4 people

    • River, I do the same things as you do. If I find someone interesting I read a few posts, leave a few comments, then wait to see if a friendships develops. I have the same thing happening with people who only ‘like’ what I write. I take nothing personally when reaching out to newfound bloggers, but I am aware of what is going on. Human beings can be endlessly fascinating.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. I’ve cut back on poking around for new bloggers lately. I just can’t keep up! There are some bloggers who just hit the “like” button on my blog and never comment I tend to do the same with them thinking rightly or wrongly that’s how they operate. I prefer to make a connection and talk…I’m sure you’ve noticed that. 😀

    I recently made a purge of sites I followed. I cut out a lot of the ones that just seemed to want “likes” back for stats and no real connection, and those that just disappeared and hadn’t posted in a year or more. So, keeping my community tight is good for me.

    I’ve met several bloggers in real life over the years and have had great luck with that…Knocking on wood now! 😀 Making friendships virtual and real-life ones through blogging and photo sharing sites has been the best part of it for me.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deborah, I’m usually too laidback to go out and look for new to me bloggers, but this long winter seemed like a good time to be proactive. I’m over it now, btw. I will be turning my attention to following and connecting with fewer people, just as you have. I like the idea of a tight community.

      The whole ‘like’ thing is beyond me. Is there really any point to doing that? Where did that button even come from to begin with? I don’t consider it the same as leaving a comment, but then I’m a wordy girl so what do you expect!

      Like

  33. I leave a comment if I want to commend the blogger for a thoughtful, wise, informative, or entertaining post, or if they’ve raised an issue that I want to weigh in on. Sometimes I don’t leave a “great post!” message—especially on well-established blogs—simply because I don’t want the blogger to feel obligated to respond when I haven’t really said anything of substance and they have so many other comments to reply to. I do like to encourage new bloggers.
    I confess it never occurred to me until you said it that there might be bloggers who wouldn’t welcome new readers or commenters and might prefer to keep their communities tightly controlled. I believe there are settings on WP that enable that, but if I’ve somehow found them, I just assume all are welcome (maybe that’s why I don’t get invited to a lot of parties).
    I think the best thing when I leave a comment is when the blogger replies and we somehow make a connection and have a conversation, however brief. It’s always great if they choose to come visit my blog, but I don’t expect it. I do wonder at some bloggers whom I have followed, liked, and commented on for years who appear never to have clicked over to see what I am blogging about. But then, perhaps they have, and have decided that I am not their cup of tea. That’s ok.
    There are a few bloggers who have stopped acknowledging comments, even with a “like.” I figure if I ever reach that point, it’s time to stop blogging and go back to common courtesy school.
    My current bewilderment is the bloggers (usually newbies) who will subscribe and click “like” on 8 or 9 of my posts, all within the space of one minute. That tells me they didn’t actually read any of the posts, but are hoping their likes will make me reciprocate. I will often click over and look, and what I generally find is a half-built blog, with one or two posts, often riddled with typos.
    Unlike other social media, this is usually such a generous and thoughtful community. I think a lot of us want to keep it that way.
    Geez, sorry I wrote so much. Clearly, you touched a nerve…

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you mentioned those who ‘like’ several posts in the space of a minute (do they not think we might be looking at the timestamps?!). Whenever I get that kind of notification, I find it hard to take them seriously. A reasonable person can assume that they aren’t actually reading your posts; more than likely they are doing that for the purpose of getting you to subscribe to their blog only. It’s kind of a half-ass (some might even say creepy) way to get another blogger’s attention – Marty

      Liked by 3 people

    • Donna, you said: “There are a few bloggers who have stopped acknowledging comments, even with a “like.” I figure if I ever reach that point, it’s time to stop blogging and go back to common courtesy school.” LOVE THIS!

      I like your criteria for when you leave a comment. It makes sense to me. I want people to feel understood and supported but there are times when they don’t seem to need another comment. I’ll keep your criteria in mind.

      I try to make no assumptions when it comes to communication so I realize my comment may not be wanted, but I leave them anyhow… at first. I do think that sometimes the newfound blogger’s reply is more in the tone of amazement [“hey, here’s a new person, what do I do now?”] than one of meh [“go away please”]. It’s just difficult to know.

      I’ve had the weird thing lately with someone “liking” my posts in record time, too. I ignore them, figuring until I receive a well-worded pertinent comment on one of my posts, we have nothing to talk about here. And even then if you’re trying to sell me something, it ain’t going to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Ally, I applaud you for reaching out to new-to-you bloggers. I’ve been blogging for about 4.5 years so not too new and not too old to blogging. I hope I’d not ever get to a blogging stage where I don’t feel like reaching out to new-to-me bloggers.

    I reply to comments on my blog and hope I make everyone feel welcome to return. I also reach out to new-to-me bloggers often and leave comments when I have something to contribute to the conversations. When blogging dialogues start between me and the blogger, both on his/ her blog and mine, I return. Other times when the comments seem to be one-sided from me and nothing back, three strikes and I move on. I may still read the blog but will pause leaving my comments.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Natalie, I’m always open to newfound bloggers, but I don’t usually go out intentionally searching for them. That was kind of a throwback thing for me to do, but it was a long boring winter. Like you I want everyone who comments on my blog to feel welcome and understood, so when someone new comments I attempt to reciprocate the interest, when possible.

      But like you said and I discovered [confirmed?] not everyone is interested in comments, conversations, connection. I enjoy blogging but over the years I’ve learned there are times when you have to give up on someone because they’re never going to be a good bloggy friend for you. No harm, no foul.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Number 7 seemed the best possible outcome. I know what you mean about feeling like an intruder, like maybe this is a “close friends and family only” blog. I leave those alone, but, in general, I assume people are happy to get new likes and comments.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Betsy, I agree that #7 is the best but I can be quite content with #1 & #8 as well. I don’t ask for much as a blogger, just a few scraps of attention once in a while! I like your explanatory description of “close friends and family only” blogs. That’s exactly how I felt when commenting on some newfound blogs. I don’t mind that I’m not wanted, but we need some sort of blogging symbols that tell you that before you comment a few times.

      Liked by 2 people

      • It may not be a “you’re not welcome” so much as a “thanks for the comment but I’m not interested in taking the time to foster this friendship. That’s not what my blog is for.” And to each their own, really. At least it (likely) can’t be taken personally, as they don’t know you IRL.

        Liked by 2 people

  36. I have seen many of my favorite bloggers fade away during this time as well. I get it. I do try to find new bloggers that I find interesting and I do drop them comments when their content speaks to me. If they respond, that’s great. I try not to put expectations on the outcome. Even some long time bloggers I follow aren’t into long comments. I always enjoy the exchange and through commenting, I have added some pretty great bloggers to my follow list.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Maggie, your explanation of what’s going on in blog land rings true with me. I have very low expectations of what’ll happen when I reach out to newfound bloggers, but I am aware of what’s happening, of how I’m made to feel. It’s not big deal, but I thought it was interesting enough to write this post. Comments seem important to me because, like you said, often connections are made there.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I have one blogger I admire and we used to exchange comments often. Now my comments appear to get posted and disappear. I am not sure if it is by design or if I am getting caught up in a spam filter somewhere, but sadly, I do not even bother to comment anymore.

        Like

  37. I like all of your perks and pitfalls, and I think at one point or another I’ve experienced all those things. I try to be as kind as possible to new bloggers because I remember doing the same thing after I first created my blog: desperate for some kind of comradeship (and I suppose validation), I was commenting right and left. But as Donna infers in her comment, some of these people have ulterior motives — usually trying to get followers — which makes their efforts a touch insincere. Most of the time, though, I find the experience rewarding. – Marty

    Liked by 3 people

    • Marty, I agree that for the most part I like the people who I encounter while blogging. Some may not connect in the comments in the way that I envision, but they aren’t bad people. They just blog in a different way than I do. Like I said somewhere above in these comments, some people consider their blogs to be a soliloquy and everyone else is the chorus. Kind of explains their approach to not engaging in the comments, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  38. What strikes me most about your post and some of the responses is that there seems to be a strongly social element involved that I don’t care about. When I began my blog, I intended to use it to learn to write, and to write about what interested me. If someone commented, that was great. I made it a point to respond to every comment and to visit the blogs of those who stopped by mine, but I never searched out other blogs on a regular basis. Occasionally, I did (and do) visit someone whose comments on other blogs indicate we have interests in common, but there are time constraints in this world, and I try to use mine wisely.

    I’ve always thought that any blog entry is only the starting point; the conversation post-entry is as important as the original posting.That’s why I don’t have ‘likes’ enabled on my primary blog. I prefer comments, and want to encourage them. On my second, photo blog, I do permit likes. Photos are different; there, a ‘like’ is every bit as good as a generic comment.

    That said, I’ve found my blog a wonderful way to establish friendships, both in the real world and online. I’ve met a dozen bloggers in person, and exchange phone calls and gifts with others. That’s been a great secondary benefit of getting to know the people who comment, rather than just seeking stats.

    Changes do come, though. The number of bloggers I’ve known and appreciated who’ve died over the past thirteen years is thought-provoking, to say the least. Now and then I go back and look at the commenters from a decade ago, and it’s really interesting. What’s especially fun is that some of us who began together still are together, commenting on each other’s blogs and, in some instances, exchanging those calls and gifts. It’s really quite wonderful.

    Liked by 3 people

    • shoreacres, yes I consider blogging to be social. I blog to keep my brain clicking and my heart open, thus I want to write, then read and connect with other people via the medium. I agree with you that you have to write about that which interests you– and I certainly do that here. I’m one of the original old-school eclectic bloggers if there ever was one. I also whole-heartedly agree that posts are the starting point of the conversation. I am the catalyst and my commenters take it away.

      I didn’t know you have a photo blog and I can understand your reasoning about the ‘likes’ on there. I’m not keen on ‘likes’ but keep them on here because I’m fascinated to see who is looking in on this blog.

      I’m amazed by how many bloggers you’ve met in real life. Aside from one rude accidental encounter, I’ve never met a soul whose blog I’ve read online. I am an island unto myself here, I guess. That must work for me, I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a long time now. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • The most humorous encounter with a real-life fellow blogger happened when Philosopher Mouse and I discovered we were posting photos of the same things — including a very specific lighthouse. She photographed it from one side while I snapped pics of the other side, but after a little back-and-forthing, we discovered we’re almost neighbors — just a five minute drive from one another. How cool is that?

        I started my photo blog (called Lagniappe about three years ago. It’s been wonderful fun, and a good way to learn both photography and native plants.

        Liked by 1 person

  39. I don’t have a readership, but I am honored by random, much appreciated comments from time to time. It does appear that amply followed bloggers aren’t interested the puny comments of the unestablished. I love to write and did crank up my blogging Spring, 2020, but since have fallen off for a number of reasons: 1) my life is busier and grandchildren have returned, 2) I determined I would blog when driven to share my thoughts, not out of boredom or nebulous inner promptings, and 3) I sense that my blogs are cast into a void.

    Emerson said that the reward for a thing well done is to have done it. I have relished such rewards, but lately my home, garden, and family tug at me more urgently than my unformed musings. In time I shall return.
    https://wordpress.com/view/bbreaden.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kairosia, oh I do like your reference to “nebulous inner promptings.” That is so true, most of my promptings are of the nebulous variety. I can understand why you aren’t writing your blog right now. When you return it’ll be there for you, which is one of the wonderful things about blogs. As for commenters, who’s to say what’ll resonate with people and what won’t. If I could find a definitive answer to that issue, I’d be a millionaire many times over!

      Like

      • Agreed. I believe I kicked off my blog around 2013, but abandoned it until Notre-Dame burned down and I fired up. Then COVID of course. There’s nothing like writing from a fireside in the damp and chill. I hope you find your lost bloggers, but maybe this absence is a sign of life returning.

        Liked by 1 person

  40. I’d say you have a great blogging community based solely on the number of people who replied thoughtfully and at length. 🙂 My commenting policy on posts I visit is that I try to comment on every post I read unless it happens to be something I find completely inane or I disagree with completely. The chances of having a civil conversation on disagreements seem to be very low these days! My policy on comments made on my blog is to reply to everyone as if I were talking with them. Sometimes I send a smiley face or other short answer if there’s really nothing more to say. Sometimes I just say thanks, trying to include the person’s name so s/he knows I do appreciate the time they took to comment. Of course I’d love it if everyone who liked the blog commented, but I know they’re busy too so that’s fine. I try to find something specific to comment on and not say “Great post” and leave and I love a response that let’s the conversation continue if we so desire.

    I’d like to follow more blogs but simply don’t have time based on my policy of commenting on every blog post I read. I also follow a number of people who post anywhere from 2-5 times a day and while I love their blogs, I can’t do that many posts, so I generally pick one, visit, and comment. For my own blog, I try to only post once a day, combining challenges if I can. On the weekends the Lens-Artists Challenge may mean I post an additional post but I want to honor the time of my followers as well.

    After a generic “Great post” comment (and more than once from the same person), the response I dislike most is along the lines of “Nice post. Please follow my blog.” I often send them the link to the post I wrote with helpful advice for new bloggers, but the key is you have to build a relationship before expecting someone to follow your blog unless they find you first and follow.

    All the being said, I appreciate all my faithful followers and commenters and have met some in person, which I really, really love. Thanks for opening the conversation, Ally, which is something you do well.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, I just found your comment from yesterday that I missed. AND ISN’T THAT JUST PERFECT considering what I’ve posted here? Oh the gods of irony never desert me.

      Anyhoo, your way of approaching comments is similar to mine, although I don’t always comment on every post I read. That’s admirable that you do that. Like you I want to read the posts written by people who I follow and I want to leave a comment showing that I read what they wrote. I think of personal blogging as being chit-chat, conversational. Not everyone does, I have found/can confirm.

      I don’t respond to commenters who leave: “Nice post. Please follow my blog.” That’s not sincere, so I send their comments to trash. Be genuine with me and I’ll be genuine with you. My blog, my rules.

      Again, sorry for this delayed reply to your comments. I love hearing from you, so please keep on showing up here. You have the best insights into what’s really going on.

      Like

      • Don’t worry about the delayed response, Ally. I’ve missed a comment before, found comments in spam, and just been too busy to get back to comments immediately.

        Conversations is one of the best parts about blogging, at least if it’s real conversation, as we’re discussing. It’s not about the numbers but the quality of the interactions. According to WP, I have 5,504 followers, but how many of them ever “like” and even less comment regularly? When I first started, I watched how many followers I had but now I rarely think of it. I also follow at least one blog that has many more thousands of followers but I often see only my comment in the response section.

        Anyway, on to breakfast. I hope your day’s off to a great start and does nothing but get better.

        Liked by 2 people

  41. It’s so sad when a blogger you’ve gotten to know well suddenly stops blogging. Of course, I completely understand and there’s nothing you can do about it but wish them well. There are many groups that do seem closed to newcomers – which defeats the purpose of blogging I think. I check out everyone who likes or comments but I’m more careful about immediately following bloggers.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Jan, yes to all you said. I wish everyone well, but miss seeing them around blog land. I am pleased that I challenged myself to be more outgoing, but as an introvert I’m much more comfortable with bloggers finding me than me finding them. I don’t begrudge people who want to have small blogging circles, but if your comment section is open, and you write well, then other people, such as moi, will want to join in. At least until I don’t, I suppose.

      Like

  42. It never occurred to me that a blogger would NOT want comments. Don’t we all want feedback and “conversations” that we might not be able to have in our offline world? When someone new to me leaves a comment I always check out their blog and read 2-3 posts before leaving them a comment. I love it when I find a new blog to follow that speaks to me. I haven’t had a lot of time lately to find new blogger friends but I think we all need to do that from time to time to keep the community healthy and connected.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Jean, from the commenting behavior I observed I got the definite vibe that some people only blog for themselves– and perhaps a select few other people. I felt unwanted so I went away. I’m with you, I don’t see me writing a blog that doesn’t include conversations in the comments. This is social media after all. 🙄

      Good point about keeping the community healthy by connecting with newfound bloggers. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but you’re right.

      Like

  43. Well, I for one am THRILLED to have found your blog and you are MORE than welcome in my bloggy circle!!! I enjoy blogs such as yours, that are just about random slices of life and lighthearted fun. So, thanks for being you!

    I have been blogging since 2008 and very few of the blog friends I had back then still blog now. A couple do, but just a couple. It’s sad because I enjoyed the slice of their lives I was privy to. However, I am always on the lookout for new bloggy friends and as I said, I’m glad to have found yours (although, sorry about my photos that you can’t see. Tech stuff is not my forte. Still trying!)

    Liked by 5 people

    • Nicole, I’m glad to have found you, too. I have a theory that we all find the people we’re supposed to find when we’re supposed to find them. Case in point.

      I keep in touch with a couple of early bloggers, too– because like you said you become privy to their lives and feel attached. They comment here occasionally, but all the other early blogger friends either are gone or have shifted over to Instagram. I see them but not learn about their lives in depth.

      I know you’re trying to get the photos to work. I appreciate that, but can still read your words so that’s good, too.

      Liked by 2 people

  44. You have so many comments that I sometimes I don’t end up looking at all of them. So if this is a repeat, forgive me. I love reading your comments, though. Also, I’ve found so many great blogs via your blog.

    ANYHOO, one thing I’ve found when finding a new blog is their comment system might be a big reason I am not reaching them. For example: Disqus sucks. That is an opinion and a fact. Sorry. No, I’m not.
    Sometimes WP eats comments too, but mostly, WP is pretty good about comments getting through.

    But I agree with you on all of your points. There have been new blogs I’ve found and commented on and never heard from again. I don’t comment again NOT because I’m upset that they didn’t reciprocate, but because I don’t want to look like a stalker. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

    • Kari, I wouldn’t read all these comments if I were you because this gets insane and why not just jump in with your own thoughts. That works for me.

      That being said I’m not keen on Disqus either. It hates me. It’s personal. I also find that WP.org often eats my comments, but WP.com doesn’t do that. Again, I’m sure it’s personal.

      I take your point about not wanting to look like a stalker. I feel the same way. I comment on a newfound blog twice then if I am ignored, off I go elsewhere. I cannot take it personally. How could I? I don’t know the person!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Kari, I’m going to respond here because I know that Ally’s blog won’t eat my comment. I don’t know what it is about yours, but I always have to enter comments twice for you. I wrote one yesterday, and I didn’t copy it before hitting submit, and then it was gone. (I think? I haven’t gone back today to see if it has shown up.) I’m guessing you have security locked down tight. And I’m down to only one device that I can be sure will be able to get signed in. Part of my issue is a WordPress one and their sign-in requirements.

      I write all this not to complain, but to let you know that I tried yesterday! It’s just a bugger of a week and I need to get back to work right now. Was taking a little procrastination break. I don’t read all of Ally’s comments, either, but I do scroll through to look for people I know. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • Your comments went through yesterday! So maybe you’re not getting the email when I respond? I also know when I comment on WP blogs, I get a notification saying “this looks like a duplicate comment “ and it eats mine as well. That’s happened on my friend Suz’ and Deb’s blogs a couple of times. I’m assuming that’s probably what happened with mine? I’ll try and check into it to see if there is something I can do on my end. I’d hate to think my blog is keeping people from commenting. 😔

        Liked by 1 person

  45. I love this post because it is something that I think about, but haven’t discussed on the blog.

    If someone visits me, I always repay the visit and check them out. I’ll for sure leave a comment and if their blog speaks to me, I’ll follow along and possibly start a friendship.

    I try to respond to all the comments on my blog, but I think there are some commentators who never check back to see if I responded. I’m assuming this really, but if you leave a comment on a post that has say, 500 words and a photo of flowers and your comment is: Nice Flowers! I’m guessing you really don’t care if I respond or not.

    I love when I stumble upon a newfound blog; I’ve probably found some from reading the comments on your posts. I have no worries with leaving a comment on a newfound blog and I’ll generally say how I found them.
    That being said, if they never interact with me via their comment system or a visit to my blog, after a few times, I’ll not bother. I really like the ‘conversation’ process of blogging; I like to know we’re all here enjoying and supporting each other.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Suz, I try to go visit everyone who leaves a comment here, but sometimes their blog topic is too narrow for me to have anything to say to them. Nice person, but I am clueless about how I could comment.

      I try to reply to all comments left here but I miss a few. And WP sometimes eats comments so that I don’t find them. Also I won’t engage with spammers, but I suppose that’s common sense.

      I agree with you about your “nice flowers” comment. It takes more than that for me to go visit someone who says that. Lovely that they popped by, but perhaps not meant to be a friend.

      I also like the conversation part of blogging. It’s what’s kept me involved in the community for so long. Like you said it’s enjoyable and who doesn’t need all the support they can get! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  46. I truly appreciate each and every comment, and when I get one from someone I don’t readily recognize, I go calling. First I check the ‘about,’ and then I look for a post I can leave a positive comment on. If it is a blog I have zero connection to in any way, I just reply to their comment and thank them for stopping. I miss some of my friends who dropped out this past year, but some weeks I can’t keep up with those that are left so I honestly don’t go looking for new folks. I’m probably missing some good bloggers, but being totally honest, I can only stare at the screen so many hours a day. I would have liked to have read all the comments here, but …

    Liked by 4 people

    • Judy, when I receive a comment on my blog from someone new, I do the same thing as you. If I can find a way to leave a sincere comment on their blog, then I will. But if there’s nothing I am interested in, I just let my reply in my comments be all there is.

      I haven’t gone intentionally looking for bloggers in years, but this winter was long and I was bored so I decided to use my time productively. I agree with you about having limits on how many blogs I’ll actively follow. My eyes can only look at a screen for so long each day… and today has been a doozy of a screen day. All these comments about comments are amazing. 😳

      Liked by 3 people

  47. Every once in a while, I seek out new bloggers and leave a comment (and often follow) when I find one that resonates. I remember the thrill I got when I received my first comment and follow from someone I didn’t know… it was so encouraging. I’ve found one or two recently (and I think I now see you commenting on at least one of them) and, I imagine, new ones pop up all the time. I currently subscribe to way too many blogs but, as long as they don’t post multiple time a week (let alone multiple times a day), I feel that I have room in my life to read good writing.

    When I find a new (at least to me) blogger, I look for several things: good writing, topics of relevance to me, if they respond to comments, how often they post (I don’t think anyone is interesting enough to make me want to read their posts daily or too many times a week), length of posts, and reasonable use of white space and paragraph breaks (I run screaming from big blocks of type).

    I know that I haven’t posted as much lately but I don’t know if it’s because of Covid or just that I am missing my muse and doing other things. I have also noticed fewer email alerts to posts from other bloggers and didn’t know why. It’s probably time to visit my list of the blogs I follow, delete the ones no longer posting, and check on a few to make sure I haven’t missed anything.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Janis, I haven’t gone on a search for new to me bloggers in years. I felt moved to do so this boring pandemic winter and I’m glad I did. I learned a lot about how some people use their comment sections, ways that seem less than friendly to me. I also found some interesting people which is fun.

      I like your criteria for how you decide on who you’ll follow. I agree with you that it’s not the number of blogs you follow, it’s your ability to keep up with them that counts. If I follow anyone who post daily I check in every few days, but most of the people who I follow post once or twice a week which makes it easy to keep up with.

      I have to wonder if I, too, should revisit who I follow. I use Feedly [not WP Reader] so it’s easy to know who is active and who is no longer posting. Maybe I’ll shake up my lists and see who’s hiding in there.

      Liked by 1 person

  48. Ah, sometimes I really miss blogging 2011 style. I did a lot of reading/commenting then, and developed a pretty big blogging community. But then I shut that down and started my current blog, and then I stopped writing there for quite a while, and my circle is pretty small now. I have wondered sometimes if others feel hesitant to comment because it seems too much like a closed club. I hope not. I always like to see comments from new names. But I also like that the few folks who usually comment are people I feel I have a real connection with. None of us are trying to grow our audience, as I know was the case in the old days.

    I’m glad to have added you as a blog connection during the past year. I came here because of a mutual blog connection, and because she doesn’t link to too many other blogs on hers. I figured there must be good stuff here. Love it when I’m right. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

    • Rita, I haven’t heard the term “grow your audience” in years. What a flashback to earlier blogging days that is. I did used to think like that but now I think of bloggers as friends, not an audience. A subtle shift in perspective but one that has helped me feel comfortable writing what I do.

      I’m glad you came here and I enjoy your comments + your blog, too. It’s through those mutual connections that we often find each other. And ain’t that fun! Thanks for joining in here.

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Ah, the old days of blogging. I miss them.

    I certainly hope I don’t come across as not welcoming of new people on my blog! Back in the old days I could respond to a good 95% via email; hence why I usually don’t respond to comments ON the blog. I played around with responding on the blog a few years ago but couldn’t determine if anyone ever came back to see my response. These days though, I can’t respond via email to a great majority of my comments AND I’m noticing an uptick in bloggers responding on the blogs; so this is something I am re-thinking. What are your thoughts on this?
    Since most of the people who used to blog have moved on; I have been actively looking for new-to-me blogs. It’s always a leap of faith when commenting on a new blog…particularly one with loads of comments as one always feels that their comment will get buried in all the comments.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Gigi, I agree about the good old days of blogging. Everything was much easier back then. I used to respond to comments through emails but went to this more open threaded system of comments where everyone can meet everyone. I’ve found it to be easier and I feel like I’m facilitating connections with it. My purpose in blogging is to start conversations so this kind of commenting system works well.

      I’ve found the same thing as you about bloggy friendships. Bloggers move on and suddenly it seems like you need a new community, it’s great but it’s all different at the same time. That’s where I find myself right about now. And you?

      Like

      • I find your thoughts on responding to comments interesting. Interesting enough to re-think my response situation.
        Blogging is definitely community oriented so when your old community disappears slowly it’s disheartening. So I’ve been trying to rebuild a new community. Of course, the market is now flooded with people wanting to make money. And that’s completely fine but I want my community to be on a more personal level. So, I try to seek out people with a similar outlook. Yep, it’s harder/different now but I still think there are bloggers out there with the same desire. The trick is finding and connecting with them.

        Liked by 4 people

        • Good point. I’m not interested in people whose primary purpose is to sell things, I’m looking for personal bloggers who want to connect, learn, make friends. I do my best to be here for those who want to enjoy blogging from the perspective of socializing but like you say, there are fewer people around now and finding them is tricky. Still, blogging goes on.

          Like

  50. I periodically do the same thing, reaching out to new bloggers in an attempt to grow my blogging network. It’s been about a year since I last made a concerted attempt, and what do you know – Ally Bean was one of my new discoveries!

    I’ve been blogging for a long time, but not everybody sticks with it for the duration. I’ll sometimes revisit old posts and am surprised to see once-familiar names who have long since disappeared from the blogosphere. It’s nice to discover new people…especially when their blogs are interesting and they are kind enough to respond to comments.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Swinged Cat, I’ve had the same experience about going back on my blog, reading who commented, and then wondering what’s become of them. It’s bittersweet, but you’re right that some people aren’t in it for the duration.

      I’m happy that I turned up during your last search for new bloggers. While I’ve been around forever it’s fun to think of myself as a new blogger. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated.

      Liked by 2 people

  51. Looks like you touched a nerve here, Ms. Bean. I’ve seen some fave bloggers vanish, too, though I’m only in my 4th year here. I don’t necessarily visit everyone who Likes one of my posts, but I respond to all non-spam comments and visit their blogs. Even the recent comments from a new blogger clearly wanting to be argumentative. I pulled out of the “conversation” once it was clearly just an opportunity for him to flog me with his opinion and ignore facts.

    I’m kind of struggling at times to keep up with my favorite blogs, so I only follow or comment on the ones that really interest me. Especially if they return the favor by taking at least a modicum of interest in mine. Otherwise, Im generally not looking to find new blogs to follow.

    I like your classification scheme for the reactions you get (or lack thereof). I’m frequently puzzled by bloggers who don’t accept comments or Likes. What’s the point? Go write in your journal, or whatever!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Eilene, I reply to all non-spam comments on my blog and often go visit the blog of the person who left the comment. If I find something in common between us I comment, otherwise I go on my way.

      What I found most interesting about searching for newfound bloggers was the ways in which they reacted to my sincere comments. None were confrontational, but some were entirely indifferent to my comment. You don’t have to become my BFF because I left a comment on your blog, but it’d be polite to acknowledge I took the time to care about you. My sense of good manners may be out of date, I guess.

      Early in my blogging career I was told that if you don’t have comments on your blog, it’s not a blog it’s a website. There’s a truth to that, I think.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Yeah, I don’t get why bloggers would be insensitive to new commenters, especially if they are new to blogging.

        Back when WP had the Community Pool, I recall a blogger named Ruth (Historian Ruby), who made a point of looking at new blog – no matter the subject matter, really – and offering encouraging comments. She was my hero. I was so impressed she took the time. It seems most people did appreciate her feedback. Maybe now that CP is gone, that idea of introducing one’s blog is passé. I’m also thinking that it’s also a generational thing (but I hate to generalize).

        Liked by 3 people

        • I don’t remember Community Pool. I must have missed that feature.

          I’ve been thinking on the generational aspect of commenting etiquette, too. From my experiences it has nothing to do with your chronological age, but with when you started your first blog. Those of us who have been blogging forever, hence are the ancients, came into blogging before FB and did so to be social; that was our motivation.

          The newbies are more into expressing themselves, selling their stuff, doing their thing first… then connecting with other bloggers. Nothing wrong with that approach, but it is at variance with my take on personal blogging, hence I notice how they comment differently.

          Liked by 2 people

  53. My first 4 1/2 years of blogging, I had just two commenters and no one from the WordPress world, so that was quite a surprise to get an actual follower from within. The comments were wonderful and in the beginning I followed everyone back and I will say that about 3/4s of those folks I followed back, have not written in several years now. So whether it was a passing fancy for them, or they ran out of things to say, I am not sure. One time I went through the list of sites I have followed from Day 1 and deleted those who have not posted in a year – there were many. I just followed someone last week, and it was strictly because I saw her many comments on a UK blogger’s site about photography of sea birds plus other nature sites and her impressions were similar to mine. I feel badly as she posts pretty regularly and I have trouble keeping up in Reader as it is and I’ve only “liked” so far … I don’t like doing that. I don’t know how people with a lot of followers can follow blogging etiquette – it must be exhausting. You and I follow Anne Mehrling and one time she gave me some recommendations of blogs she enjoyed and I have followed many of those … that may be how I found you Ally. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda, I remember the first blogger who followed me and left a comment. She’s long gone, but it was such an amazing moment to know someone was paying attention to little ole me. I’m glad that Anne got us together, and that’s part of what I was trying to do when I went on my search for newfound bloggers. Some were already bloggy friends with people who I follow, so it seemed logical we should meet. It’s the interconnectedness of blogging that keeps me at it.

      I don’t use WP Reader because I find it muddies the water about who I follow. I use Feedly [which has a free version]. Feedly allows me to be in charge of my curated lists of bloggers, rather than telling me to read a particular person now. Also Feedly automatically tells you how long it’s been since someone posted. It’s easier to know who to drop that way.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I should look into Feedly Ally. As for the Notifications area here at WordPress, I don’t like if you fall behind, the comments early in the queue disappear, which isn’t good. I may have told you this before, but my first WP follower commented and I asked (naively) “how did you find me here?” Like you, I was astounded to have someone here in the WP blogging community commenting.

        Liked by 2 people

        • I get that about being surprised by someone who comments on your blog. I still am bowled over that people follow + comment here. As for Feedly, it’s given me a sense of control about who I follow, and it takes you through to the actual blog post which I like. I want to see a blogger’s template as I’m reading their words.

          Liked by 2 people

          • I would prefer going to the actual blog post too Ally. I do that with a few photographers to see their photos which always display better than in the Reader format. I didn’t know that was a feature of Feedly. I know Barbara Rogers,(a blogger I’ve enjoyed knowing as our walks are similar and we connected through you), told me she also goes directly to the blog site for the same reason as you.

            Liked by 3 people

  54. I only leave comments if I feel inclined to do so. I never feel like I’m intruding. I figure that if they didn’t want comments, they would disable the comments button that shows up on the bottom of the post. I do know one blogger who encourages comments but never writes back. Then I think, “What’s the point?” It’s almost like she ends her blog posts with a question to attract followers but only wants them as part of her increasing follower count, not because she actually wants to engage. Also, I think she might be a “professional travel blogger.” I guess that makes you too cool to comment (eyeroll).

    P.S. I wouldn’t take the “like” of your comment without a reply too personally. I sometimes do that if I’m swamped in my non-blogging life but at least want to let the person know I read and appreciated their comment. Not often, but sometimes…

    Liked by 4 people

    • The Travel Architect, I never comment unless I’m inclined to do so, which means that I don’t always say anything on blog posts written by the bloggers I follow. And it also means that sometimes I repeat what everyone else has said because I want the blogger to know I’m being supportive.

      I’ve come to realize that some people believe their blogs are a soliloquy and we the readers are merely the chorus– or maybe the audience. In either case our comments are not necessary for a sterling performance.

      As for the *liking* of anything, I’ll try to view that as a positive, but it won’t be easy. I’ve resisted the ‘like’ button from the git-go.

      Liked by 1 person

  55. I am so grateful that anybody reads my stuff that I respond to everyone. During the A to Z I try to reach out to more new to me bloggers and very occasionally I’ll “like” or reply to a comment I agree with on someone else’s blog and go look at theirs but I “follow” only if it is something that I would be interested in. I especially try to comment if the blogger has only a few or no comments. You have so many people commenting on your posts that sometimes I don’t comment because everyone else has already said whatever I would have (like today). But then again, I like being a cool kid – LOL

    Liked by 3 people

    • Janet, I hear ‘ya. I like finding bloggers who are relatively unknown because it seems like a good way to add some fresh new perspectives to my blogging community. I cannot explain the amazing amount of comments that come my way now on my blog posts. I am grateful, and I do my best to reply to all of them, but after all these years why I’m suddenly popular is a mystery to me.

      I get why you don’t always comment here but appreciate it when you do. It’s not like I take attendance so do what you want! However you’re right that if you want your icon to show up under the Cool Kids in the sidebar you have to comment. That’s WP’s doing, not mine, btw.

      Liked by 2 people

  56. I’m sure everyone would be pleased to have a comment from you Ally – you have such an interesting way with words. I’m not sure how I found you, but you were a find! I like the phrase “mutual bloggy friends.” I don’t know how you keep up with all the comments – when I left this morning there were a dozen and now there are 170? It must be exhausting. I’m not trying to grow my blog anymore, just keep up with reading those I follow and posting once a week, although I do add a few more occasionally, most of them are not regular posters, just people who pop in once in awhile. Sometimes I spend more time reading the comments/discussion on other blogs, than participating…..because I like to know what other people think but don’t necessarily have anything important to add.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Joni, I am as amazed as anyone by the number of comments on this blog post. I didn’t think talking about my attempts to be more social would generate this much interest. I didn’t think of my search for newfound blogs as being a way to grow this blog, I thought of it as being friendly during a difficult time in history. I figure we all can use more friends, bloggy and irl.

      I know what you mean about reading comment sections on blog posts. Sometimes that’s where I learn, and come to understand, more about people than in the post that started it. I’ve never thought of my blog posts as pedantic pronouncement of what has to be; I’m not an authority, more of a seeker. As such my posts are catalysts for conversation/thought, so comments are welcome.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes agree….people tend to be more informal in their comments. I like LA’s blog for that reason….the discussion is always interesting. I remember now…..Linda aka The Squirrel Whisperer recommended your blog to me. We are of similar tastes so she sometimes passes on blogs she thinks I might like. Arm a bit sore, but so far not too much fatigue yet….but woke up to several inches of snow – I knew I shouldn’t have put my boots away….

        Liked by 2 people

  57. It is always about the ripples in the water, how much do you splash if at all around a new circle of people. Behind a screen, but people nevertheless, and it always goes one way or another. I smile at some people when I walk down the street if they smile back or not is up to them. Sometimes maybe that’s the smile they needed but couldn’t give it back.

    I dont assume either though. I’m just new to blogging but not to people.

    Do you want to spend the time commenting because the topic was ontriguing…. or do you just have the energy to hit the like button because it can be 3am readings or just to acknowledge that the blog was read, info was good, and it was a thumbs up.

    I just go with it.

    Liked by 4 people

    • kjbArts, I also smile when I walk down the street regardless of the response I might get. Good analogy to being a proactive commenter.

      Making no assumptions is a great approach to blogging. If you’re new to it, that idea will serve you well. People be people, you know?

      I’m not a fan of the ‘like’ button but I keep it enabled here. I find it pointless, because like you said it might be merely mindless 3 a.m. boredom more than actual interest in what you write. But it’s the done thing now, so here it stays… for a while longer.

      Liked by 1 person

  58. I am terrible at reciprocating comments because when my work schedule gets busy and overwhelming, it’s one of the first things that go by the wayside. Also, not all comments seem like they want/need a response or reaction, but maybe they do? I don’t think liking comments is marginalizing them, though. For me, I am often recognizing that I read and appreciated the comment even if I had nothing to say in response–which is also something I do with posts when I have nothing to add.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Akilah, I’m interested in your philosophy about ‘likes’ on a comments. I default to the idea that a ‘like’ means nothing so why bother paying any attention to them. I feel unwanted when that’s all I receive after leaving a wordy comment. I try to never like anything unless I’ve also written something, too. But you’re saying you use the ‘like’ button to mean something positive. Fascinating. That’d never occur to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I only like comments I like but can’t think of anything else to say in response. I would never like a comment if I didn’t like it.

        On FB, I sometimes like comments on ~controversial~ posts when I don’t want to enter the fray myself but want to show support. So! Always positive!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Clearly I’ve never thought of a ‘like’ in this way. Thanks for explaining your logic. It makes sense to me. Like I often say about blogging… the things I learn!

          Like

  59. It’s interesting that you were looking for more interactions on WP, given that you get a lot of likes and comments on your posts, Ally. I really appreciated this post of yours, regardless 🙂

    -David

    Liked by 2 people

    • David, mid-winter when I realized my core group of bloggy friends weren’t around much anymore, I went looking to see who I could see. It’s been years since I did anything like this. I didn’t intend on writing about it, but my experiences prompted me to share here. Gotta keep it fresh!

      Liked by 1 person

  60. I remember how encouraging it was when I first started to receive comments. That said, I’m one of those guilty of dropping out of the blogging world during the pandemic. It was like I was unconsciously extending my pandemic ‘bubble’ to the virtual world as well. Good for you for reaching out though. I am sure the right people will appreciate getting to know you as much as I have.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Allie P, you make a good point about how not blogging was an extension of your pandemic bubble. You’re onto something with that idea. It makes sense. I went the other way, I guess. I usually am more of an introvert when it comes to reaching out to newfound bloggers, but mid-winter I decided to up my game. I did it with a genuine desire to connect, but now I’m over it and back to being a laidback blogger who receives comments here graciously. [As long as there’s no spam or e-commerce involved, of course.]

      Liked by 2 people

  61. Okay, I think I have a comment! I am befuddled when I come to a blog that has lots of comments & the blogger hasn’t responded to ANY of them *AND* they have like, 3000 followers. These bloggers aren’t famous. (For instance I follow a few public figures on Facebook who never respond to comments; I may not like that but I can mostly understand it.) Clearly I am missing something. Here is where I’d insert a confused looking emoji if I had one.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Colette, made me smile. Please tell me your comment!

      I AGREE WITH YOU. I don’t get that either. Why would anyone comment when there’s zero replies… unless all the replies are sent via email so that you think you’re *special* for having received one? Some bloggers, a few of whom I follow, keep their replies to comments hidden that way.

      [ A corollary: I also sometimes find a blogger who says she has 10 gazillion followers and there’ll be 4 comments. That makes no sense either.]

      Liked by 3 people

      • 😊 Hmm, I think the email replies thing was/is lost to me since I don’t do anything related to WP through email & didn’t remember/realize others did.

        Other thought. For blogs inundated with comments, there could be a software that would say to a potential commenter, for instance, “36 people have already made comments very similar to your own. Are you sure you want to post it? Hit no to cancel, yes to post.” 😁

        Liked by 2 people

        • Now there’s something yet to be created. Ha! I’ve no problem receiving or leaving a comment that duplicates in essence what someone else has said. I figure it’s supportive to comment, so I do that. I’m there for the person who writes the blog and want he or she to feel understood. 🤷‍♀️

          Liked by 1 person

  62. What a cool topic!
    As you say, blogging and the blogging community has changed over the years – and with the pandemic (Laughed over the comment how one person writes some comments longer than the her posts since the pandemic. Ditto here – and both posts and comment length and frequency varies with weather/ability to get outside HAHA)
    Part of the change is WP…”putting comments in weird places that get overlooked…and for some reason encouraging “new”/more recent bloggers to write short comments and spend time writing posts…and to visit lots of blogs to run up stats by revisits to their blogs. Business do the same now.
    I will comment if something is interesting. (and try to respond in a timely fashion to comments on my blog, but not doing so good with that these days due to health issues and darn good weather)
    With new blogs, I glance at the comments already there – so many now have the identical generic response from the blogger. Gee, back in ancient times with WP if you did that too often, you’d get a “note” from WP like “You’ve already used this response before” Things have changed. Once a crazy world of all sorts of communities, now so many wanting to sell.
    I miss Fresh Pressed!
    Those were the Wild West days of blogging! Such fun. (even with the trolls who delighted in attacking new bloggers.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • philmouse, so much to unpack in your comment but I’d expect nothing less from you. 😁

      Yes the length of the comments I write is correlated to how nice the weather is. Today is snowy here so I’m about as wordy as can be. Good observation

      Yes, WP has screwed around with the ways in which comments are processed. The result of which is I’m missing alerts about new comments on my blog. It is making for a more labor intensive experience to keep up with my comments, but I’m trying. Through gritted teeth

      Yes about “the identical generic response from the blogger.” That’s what I was obliquely referring to in #3 above. It’s like being in church when the congregation mindlessly says the appropriate response because that’s what you’ve been taught to do. Shaking my head

      Yes, about this recent shift to only selling stuff or services via your blog: I DON’T LIKE IT. And if I get hint of it, I won’t engage with the blogger. I’ve no problem with authors or artists mentioning their projects, and casually tossing in where to go to buy something, but blogs that are only there to sell, sell, sell… do not interest me.

      And yes about the Wild West Days of early blogging. It was fun. And often friendlier than today. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

    • thefiftyedit, thanks for stopping by to comment. It’s fun to engage with bloggers who have similar interests, but it does take effort. I left a comment for you on your blog. Best of luck with it.

      Liked by 1 person

  66. Very interesting and insightful perspectives. I am a new blogger and make a point to always respond to any comments. I genuinely appreciate anyone who took time out of their day to check out what I had to say.

    Liked by 3 people

  67. Over the years (Now in my 10th year of blogging), I’ve gotten worse and worse about keeping up with replying to comments…. which shouldn’t be the case, because comments on my blog are only about half of what they were about five years ago. I rarely get out of the blue comments from someone I don’t know… and over half the time, they’re either blatant spam, or so generic (“Great post!”) that they can only be there to try and draw me to their blog. It’s been a while since the last time I left a comment on another blog without them first interacting with mine… but I do find the purgatory new commenters get sent to quite annoying. And then there’s the Blogger/Blogspot blogs, who don’t like me for some reason and won’t even allow me to make a comment. I’ve lost a few prospective followers because of that issue…

    Liked by 3 people

    • evilsquirrel13, it’d been a long time since I intentionally went looking at new to me blogs. It was a good way to pass the winter days, plus I was intrigued by how people reacted to my comments. I couldn’t help but wonder why some people are so attentive to comments and others aren’t.

      And about Blogger blogs, I find that sometimes I can’t comment on them either. Other times, I can. I’m too lazy to try to figure out why this is, but I hear what you’re saying. I’ve had to give up on some blogs because of the wonky system. It’s a shame, but…

      Like

  68. That’s an interesting point! I often reach out to new bloggers, mostly those who have visited my blog, and my results are also mixed. Mostly I feel welcome, but not always, which is okay….I just move on. The part I find most frustrating isn’t just the comments, though. It’s blogs where they make it almost impossible to find the latest post, or where I have to agree to follow it before I can read the content or comment. I don’t have the patience for that. But I have found some great new blogging friends that way, and new blogs worth following, so overall, I think it’s worth the effort.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ann, I’ve had that situation, too. I land on a blog then cannot figure out where the new posts are because the ones I see first are the *best* ones. It’s not the smoothest way to keep a blog, if you want new readership– but maybe they don’t. Friends and family only, you know?

      I’ve never been to a blog where you have to agree to follow it if you want to read it. That sounds more like a website than a blog, like selling is more important than befriending. Should I stumble across one like that I’ll be moving right along. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

  69. I barely have enough energy to keep up with the bloggers I know and love – all 3 or 4 of them. I kind of miss the days when we all had interconnected, large circles of bloggy friends. Nearly everyone I knew from those days now posts little meaningless blips on facebook instead.

    I’m not in a place right now where I comment on new blogs. I’m not sure whether it’s me or them but I rarely get a response. It kind of reminds me of the very early days of blogging on Live Journal where you had a set of friends and that was it. The conversation in the comments was always the best part to me.

    By the way, I’ve set my poor, lonely blog to private for now. I’m sick to death of the likes and follows from advertisers.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Zazzy, I miss the sense of knowing who was reading your blog and then writing blog posts that you knew would make them happy. We all knew each other’s quirks and joys, but now I write not sure who is reading. I don’t do FB so I’ve no idea who is there who used to be here.

      Are you posting again? Should I be following you? I don’t think you come up in my Feedly account but I’ll double check.

      Always great to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by to comment about comments… with a comment. 🤓

      Liked by 1 person

  70. I really do miss the old days of blogging. I haven’t written anything in a long time, I keep saying I’m going to but I haven’t. Still, you’re now set up just in case I do. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  71. I have to confess I don’t always visit when a new blogger comments on my blog. I’m inclined to visit if the blogger leaves a relatively personal comment (something more than “Thanks for sharing!”) AND if their blog is a personal one, meaning they’re not going to try and sell me makeup or something. I’m hesitant to follow everyone who follows me because I get overwhelmed with the WP reader and email subscriptions. As far as me leaving comments on newfound blogs, my experience has been very similar to yours. Most of the time the newfound blog is being followed by a lot of people that I follow and I’m quickly embraced (often with comments such as “Hey, I thought your name was familiar.” These experiences remind me of what a small world we really live in.) There are times, however, when I get a perfunctory response to my comment, in which case I tend not to comment again. I am highly sensitive though. I tend to scan other comments and responses and if I don’t get as warm a response as other commenters, I notice. Isn’t that sad?! I’m trying to stop doing that, especially with those blogs that receive hundreds (or seemingly hundreds) of comments. I have to figure that at some point the blogger is just plum tired of responding 😉 Which brings me to ask you: What is your secret? How do you so deftly handle so many comments? And also, you’ve changed the theme of your blog, haven’t you? I like it 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Marie, I just found your comment from two days ago, today. So much for me deftly handling all the comments here. Clearly I don’t always. Oops.

      I try to visit everyone who comments here BUT sometimes the person writes a blog that is exclusively about something I’m not interested in. So I politely step away. I mean, there’s nothing for me to say and there never will be.

      I used to be more sensitive about how a newfound blogger would reply to my first comment. I get that. I don’t know how or why but that no longer bothers me, I just want a reply with words not emojis. I also figure that not everyone is instantly comfortable with a new person reading their blog, so it might not be that the person is standoffish as much as they’re also sizing me up.

      I changed my template at the beginning of the year and created a new icon. Thanks for noticing. I was tired of seeing red [literally] on that old template. Keeping it fresh, I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think your odds of missing a comment increase in proportion to the number of comments you get. And you got A LOT of comments on that post 🙂 So, no worries. At least you’re not a slacker like me who often doesn’t even get around to responding to comments until days later 😉 I worry about getting overwhelmed when I engage with new bloggers and especially when I follow new blogs, but, gee, I’m retired now! I think I can find the time … 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  72. Wow!!! Lots of comments here on this post, Ally. I have mixed feelings about reaching out to new bloggers. I know I SHOULD do it – it is the friendly thing to do – but I don’t know if I want to spend more time than I already do on the blog. Then I think “Maybe I should post less”, but I really enjoy writing. I only wind up interacting with people whose posts I really enjoy reading (like yours)!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laurie, I understand your conundrum. I like to write, so I do that primarily. But then I also like to read and comment elsewhere so I do that secondarily. In the end, I have only so many hours in the day that I’ll assign to blogging, so reaching out to newfound bloggers isn’t a high priority. I’m glad I challenged myself to do this, but I’m over it now. I much prefer them finding me rather than me finding them! Yep, I said it!

      Like

  73. I’m new to blogging and until I read this, I just assumed people were too busy to respond to comments, or too afraid to make them in the first place. If there was ever a day where something I posted had too many comments to respond to, I could imagine liking a comment instead of responding to every one. There’s so little time in the day as it is right now!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Matt, interesting take on comments. I imagine you’re right that people are busy and don’t consider responding to comments as necessary. Makes me wonder why anyone would have their comment section open in the first place, but everyone comes into blogging with different expectations. That’s probably the bottom line of my experiences these last few months. Thanks for commenting, btw. Nice to meet you.

      Like

  74. As a newbie, I feel that my comments may be pointless. As an English teacher, I am also concerned that my comment will come across as “draft feedback” for an assessment, which would clearly miss the point of this.

    Liked by 3 people

    • venzvox, ha! I hadn’t thought of comments as being feedback on drafts but you make an excellent point. I suppose some people think that way. The thing about personal blogs is that we all do our own thing, which is what makes them cool. BUT everyone does their own thing which makes it difficult to know who wants comments and who tolerates them. As for me I consider my blog posts as catalysts for conversations so I like comments from authentic people. Spambots & trolls can bite me.

      Liked by 1 person

  75. Interesting. I always respond; sometimes less timely than others but I respond. I feel like I was either a 1 or a 7 on your list. I find it cool when new readers leave comments. Often wonder how they wandered in. Being an extrovert I often leave a comment and after a few posts will usually become a follower.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bernieLynne, oh you most definitely were a #1 and a #7 on the list. I found you through Donna, so that made it easy for me to jump into your comments. I don’t care how quickly anyone replies to their comments, just that they do. And that seemed to not always be the case. But you know what? People do what they do and I can’t change ’em! Only observe and report on them here.

      Liked by 1 person

  76. Very interesting experience. I never thought about what a newfound blogger would think if I left a comment. I just always thought I would leave something after reading a post if I felt like it. Are some blog communities really exclusive? But I know how you feel about blogfriends going on hiatus and missing them. I had an old blog and still think of those people sometimes.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Markus + Micah, my impression was that some bloggers have a tight group of friends and that it’s an exclusive place wherein I was tolerated, but not wanted. I only started reaching out to newfound bloggers because I figured if I was bored at home during the winter, they might be too. And I was missing some of my old bloggy friends. I never thought I’d end up with a post about what happened along the way to being friendly. 😕

      Liked by 1 person

        • I consider blogging to be social so I enjoy new people who comment on this blog [as long as they aren’t trolls or spammers or trying to sell me something]. However I realize that not everyone who has a blog is doing it for friendship, so I don’t assume that they want comments even when the comment section is open. Over the years I’ve become more discerning about where I comment, trying to connect prudently. I want to support other people, but only if they want the support.

          Liked by 1 person

  78. Hey Ally, Your insights are valuable. As a new blogger, I’ve been shy to advertise my blog. I only post once every couple of weeks and my site is bare bones, graphically. (I need to work on that.) You and Jan are my only commenters and I’m always happy to know someone has read my post. Friends have asked what I’ve been doing since I retired and when I mention I’ve started a blog I’ve gotten a tepid “that’s nice”. None have asked further. I’ve learned from you and Jan regarding blog etiquette. You both always recognize a comment. That’s appreciated and I see that you have a friendly bunch of readers here. I’m going to go out on a limb and invite anyone who reads this to stop by and visit me. My blog is titled “Now What?” Hope to meet some of you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Anna, I’ve been blogging since 2004 and my friends say the same thing to me! There’s something about the openness and honesty implicit in personal blogging that some people find off-putting. I can’t explain it, especially when they pour their hearts out on FB but won’t engage with me here. 🤨

      As for promoting your blog, the best way I know of is to join challenges &/or comment on other people’s blogs. Eventually people find you, you find them, and there is joy in blog land. In the meantime, of course, you just have to keep on keeping on.

      Like

  79. I think a few newbies like myself are still trying to figure out blogging and the comment section. I even struggled to find the comment section here, as weird as it seems. I’m very motivated when experienced bloggers like my posts. Keep reaching out because you may be surprised that people desire the motivation and have crippling anxiety where writing is concerned .

    Liked by 2 people

    • Transformative Questions, it takes a while to learn about blogging and the reality is that everyone does it differently. There is no one way to express yourself and engage with other people. Just like real life, I guess. Thanks for commenting here and best of luck with your writing. Fun to meet newbies such as you.

      Liked by 1 person

  80. Thank you so much for the insight. Being new to public-facing blogging (I’ve only written inside an organization), I often wondered how other writers in the community feel about engagement, both reactive and proactive. I’m still learning, so this was great. Gratitude cp

    Liked by 3 people

    • Chris Peake, it’s funny because I didn’t set out to write a post about blog comment etiquette but after attempting to connect with some newfound bloggers I felt the need to write this. We all do what we do in ways that make sense to us, but we sure do things differently! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

      Like

  81. I love it when you ask questions — it helps me think of something to say. If I like (find interesting) a newfound blog I will leave a tentative comment. There’s still a part of me that feels like I might be bothering the blogger. Then I wait to see if they respond and what their response is like. I also hope they will come visit and comment on my blog and that would be the best thing that can happen. I like conversations in the comments more than “generic polite replies,” as you put it. In life I’ve always said I’d rather have fewer friends that I spend more quality time with than have hundreds of superficial friends.

    I’ve had people come and visit for a few months or a few years and then disappear when they stopped blogging. It used to make me sad but now I’ve come to accept it as that is just the way it goes. I’ve gone for long stretches without posting myself.

    If someone new comments on my blog I always try to welcome them warmly and visit their blog. If I don’t find their blog interesting, though, I won’t leave a comment. I avoid political blogs like the plague, and blogs that are trying to sell me something. And lately, because of my health problems and severely restricted diet, I cannot bear to read blogs about food any more.

    Thanks for this interesting read, Ally! You must be doing something right, you have many thoughtful commenters.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Barbara, you and are two peas in a pod. What you wrote here is exactly how I approach and feel about commenting. I’m looking for conversations, welcome new to me bloggers here [given they aren’t spammers, trolls, or trying to sell me something], then I go read what they’re up to. If I can find nothing to comment on there, then I won’t. In no way does that mean they’re not good bloggers, it’s just that we have nothing in common.

      I also agree with you that when bloggy friends fade away I’m sad, but I understand. I’ll fade away from here one day, of that I’m sure. In the meantime I seem to be fielding lots of comments. It’s fun, but can become overwhelming. Just saying

      Liked by 1 person

  82. Can’t recall losing many because of covid…but then I never had many comments in general (it’s okay, I am not blogging to get comments)..
    I myself am often a late reply-er on comments. – I suspect some take that as “not interested.” But what can I do, there are only 24 hours in a day, and other things come first:)
    The ones who consistently only give a like – I call them “lazy” – they might not be, maybe they feel awkward, or have nothing to say?
    I myself have a hard time giving a comment, if I really don’t have an opinion on the subject of the post of the other.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Junie-Jesh, I got involved in blogging to make friends and to let people irl know what we were up to. Of course that was pre-FB so my expectations about how personal blogging works may be out of date. Now it seems like people are here less for friendship, more for distraction– which lends itself to using the ‘like’ button, I guess. At least that’s my current working theory on the topic.

      I always appreciate your comments, but I know what you mean about finding something to say to someone about something that you’ve no opinion about. I have that experience, too.

      Like

  83. I’m envious of someone with 256 comments. 😁 My blog is an arts blog that rarely generates conversation. So, instead in wallowing in the fact that no one really wants to converse about my art, I spend my time commenting on multiple blogs I follow. Only when I feel compelled to do so. Like here. I dug a comment of yours on another blog and made my way to being a 😎 kid.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Hi Ally! I’m new to blogging and it’s helpful to hear from someone who’s been at it awhile. I appreciate hearing your perception on the different interaction (or lack of interactions!). I’m finding it fun to read people’s posts and comment — even when people don’t respond back. I guess I’m looking forward to building bloggy friendships as time goes on.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Caroline Exner, thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I’ve found that personal blogging has changed over the years, but that there are still many cool people out there who engage with each other via comments. It takes time to find your tribe, but once you do it is great fun to write a blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  85. Wow. You have really touched a button for a lot of us. And look at all the comments! I’ve been discouraged about some of the “new” bloggers. I love love love how we’ve become a blogging family, so supportive of each other, knowing about our joys/pains/favorite foods and our dislikes (rude people, for instance). Lately, I’ve noticed some “new” bloggers don’t comment on my post, but “like” comments by other followers on my post. So on my right hand column button (where I can quickly see comments and respond) I’ll see someone’s name I never saw before, over and over and over again because they “liked” others’ comments. Excuse me, but A N N O Y I N G! To be kind (and learn who they are) I’ll go into their blog/website. A lot of times they are for commercial products, or more generic posts, just with quotes or pithy words on “loving yourself.” I don’t know; they just seem to be blogging for blogging’s sake? Not to really make connections? I’m confused. Thanks for helping me out, not feeling like I’m the only one…. xo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pam, yes I’ve touched a hot topic here entirely by accident. 😳 Like you I’m finding the same sorts of behaviors with new bloggers. That business of liking all the comments on a post is about as pointless as can be. Annoying is right. And what’s with someone showing up in my comments to tell me to go read their blog? Not gonna happen just because you told me to do it.

      And how about comments that appear to be gibberish-y and without any real message? If I can’t figure out what someone is trying to say, I’ll send the comment to trash. It sounds harsh, but I do have some boundaries here. Make sense and you can stay!

      Liked by 1 person

  86. I must say I felt a bit intimidated when I read that there are already comments in the hundreds to this post! But I hope to fall in your category one. I’ve been blogging on WP for just a year (had an earlier one on a self-programmed platform for years), and enjoy the conversations with those who take the time to read my posts. It took me a while to get started commenting, but it is its own reward. However I’m already finding it hard to keep up with reading so many others. I post weekly and it works for me, and will try to catch up with other bloggers I’ve enjoyed weekly or so. Glad to have found your site (from a comment you left at another)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • rkrontheroad, thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it. I wrote this post to share my experiences thinking a few people might be interested, but my goodness to the gracious has this topic been popular. I understand about the difficulty of keeping up with other bloggers. I try to and some weeks I nail it, but other weeks people will just have to understand that my intentions were good! 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  87. 274 comments… you are genius! Silly Bean…really! I have to be honest and say I hardly ever respond to a comment other than a ☆ like, unless it is a specific question that I feel like it should be answered because other people might be wondering the same thing. Usually I will go and leave a comment for the person who commented. I know people are busy and they don’t have time to respond to every comment— but the ones who do (I see you guys all the time all over other people’s blogs) YOU ARE AMAZING. I wish I had the diligence to do it. I just have too many other things I guess that are more important to me than getting people to interact. However I have met lots of fellow bloggers whom I adore and I hope to stay in touch with after the challenge is over (and I say the same thing every year and find myself not doing what I wanted to do). Anyway, I wanted to be a c☺☺l >^..^< CAT [meow].
    Cheers,
    Crackerberries

    Liked by 2 people

    • Crackerberries, thanks for this upbeat comment. I cannot explain why the topic for this post is so popular, but it is. I HAD NO IDEA it would be until I wrote this. I’m an old-school blogger so I try to reply to every comment left here. [Well the legitimate sincere comments.] Because of the pandemic I’ve been home now for over a year and as a way of having something to do I’ve gone all in on blogging. I’ll be backing down from it some once I’m fully vaccinated because while I enjoy blogging and admit it’s a lifestyle [mindset?], I also enjoy not blogging and living out in the real world. I’m a complicated bean, I guess. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      • I miss having all the free time I used to have to blog. Although I work at home, I still have a responsibility to my employer so I try to sneak in a quick read in between phone calls, lunch time and breaks. Hubby always has us doing something on the weekends so I find myself getting up really early in the mornings so I can have my time to blog. I guess that the hard cores do. I wish I could stay motivated to continue to be so diligent after the challenge… for some reason it just doesn’t seem as important.

        Liked by 2 people

        • I get what you’re saying. Everyone finds what works for them when it comes to blogging. And what works changes as you go along. Once upon a time I was a daily blogger, but now I sometimes struggle to post twice a month. As long as you’re having some fun with it and not being rude to people I figure it’s all good.

          Liked by 1 person

  88. As a brand new blogger, I feel welcomed, and I’ve discovered the discover tab so I’m able to branch out some. I try to respond, but I’m so new to this, that I may have neglected a comment or two. But of the four comments I’ve received, I am pretty darn happy! I am glad for folks like you who are pros at blogging, but humble enough to welcome struggling newbies like me! Thank you.
    -Joan

    Liked by 1 person

    • LazyBonesJoan, I love the name of your blog, btw. Made me laugh just seeing it, so that’s great. I wrote this post because it’d been a long time since I went out and intentionally left comments on newfound blogs. It was good for me to do it, but as introvert I’m over it now. Also after all these comments here I won’t be able to keep up with everyone who has stopped by. This has been an insanely popular post. I’m flabbergasted by the response. 😳

      Like

  89. Newfound or not, if a post has a comment section, then by default you are supposed to be allowed to comment, either by leaving a positive comment or not. It’s the internet, after all. There is no doubt, however, that sometimes people don’t like comments that are not flattering or anything similar to that. In this case, they might not want your comment. But isn’t this their problem? I think it is. And since you mentioned the moderation mode in your post. I must admit, I find it quite funny and even sad when people have a moderation mode on instead of leaving the comments section open, and definitely discouraging of wanting to interact further.

    There are many good things of leaving a comment but I think the best one is probably having a fruitful discussion, either a small or a long one. After all, isn’t this what comments are supposed to be for? 🙂

    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lazaros Giannas, thanks for reading this post and your comment. We are two peas in a pod about commenting on blogs. You said and I love it: “It’s the internet, after all.” That’s my take on blog commenting and the subsequent conversations that can happen [should happen?] in the comment section of your blog post. I consider personal blogging to be social and this is the internet and the comment section is here to facilitate conversation because… blogging is social and this is the internet and the comment section is here to facilitate conversation… [repeat ad nauseam].

      Of course if there’s one thing I’ve learned replying to the comments on this post it is that not everyone thinks about comments the same way as I do! It’s been eye-opening.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The same way as WE do*, dear. Don’t leave me and others like us out please, haha.

        You’re right! What can we do though? It’s their blog after all. Their blog; their rules. So, ok… It just turns into a stupid echo chamber where everyone is flattering each other. Yes, a bit sad, but their blog… their rules.

        I loved the repeat ad nauseam. So on point.

        Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

  90. I love when other bloggers comment on my posts, and I love commenting on other posts as well. I only say what’s on my mind. I don’t just comment to be seen. So, I get it ✌🏻

    Like

  91. Ohhh I like comments sometimes because I don’t know what to say back, or because I’m exhausted and just quickly checking comments. I’m just providing inside as to what the reasons could be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My Rollercoaster Journey, thanks to many commenters here I’ve come to better understand why people use the ‘like’ button. I get what you’re saying, so I’m more cool with it now.

      Like

  92. Honestly when I comment, I just comment and move on. I don’t bother with whether or not the person responded to my comment or not. I already stress over other things so my stress timetable is full 😂

    Like

    • My Rollercoaster Journey, ha! I like that you have a stress timetable. Who among us doesn’t? I try to go back to see what reply my comment elicits, but it does take extra time to do so. Of course I come at personal blogging with an old-school attitude so I suppose that explains why I do what I do.

      Like

  93. Wow. Well you certainly have been busy with 285 responses to your post! Impressive. I love finding new interesting blogs and I do try to leave a comment and then enjoy when someone new comes to read our blog. My main problem is time.. I have such a hard time just keeping our own blog current and commenting on those blogs that have left a comment on mine that I don’t seem to find much time to read new blogs. But if I did I surely would.

    I loved your post. It was interesting but it was also amusing as I could relate to so much of it… For example, the blogs that eat your comment and then what? The blogs where you leave a lovely long comment and never hear back…

    Great post.

    Peta

    Liked by 2 people

    • Peta, the popularity of this post amazes me, too. I didn’t know this topic would be so well received & that I’d get all these comments. I was just talking about what I’d done, a few observations/conclusions. Who knew, huh?

      I totally understand about the time issue when it comes to blogging. It’s only because I was at home this winter during the pandemic that I had the time to be proactive and go find some new to me bloggers. I had no idea what’d happen, so this was kind of a mystery to be solved, kind of a game to be played. It was all good, but I’m over it now having connected with many newfound bloggers. Case in point, the comment section of this blog! 🤓

      Like

  94. I love serendipity. I tripped over this post almost by accident, after reading a comment on a blog I have read for years. Now and again I become brave for a day, and head out in search of new and interesting people to read, but find the process of discovery tortuous and driven mostly by luck than any kind of sleuthing skills. And then I discovered your blog, this post, and the comments by SO many fellow bloggers who appear by-and-large to be cut from the same cloth. I’m doing a happy dance.

    Hi – I’m Jonathan (guiltily realises this is his first comment, and should at least introduce himself). I’m very much a blogger of the “old world” – I’ve been writing online since the beginning of blogging – an online methuselah of sorts.

    I have had the same experience as you in terms of following new blogs, and engaging with them. Those of us that write regularly as a journal of sorts and engage with each other as a circle of friends seem to have become unicorns. We are rare. The online world seems to have slowly filled with marketers, influencers, and an army of idiots expending minimal effort to try and game a social graph.

    Anyway. Glad I have found your blog (and many others!) – looking forward to sitting down with a coffee and reading later!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jonathon, very happy to meet you, as one old-school blogging unicorn to another, that is. What an apt way of describing those of us who’ve been writing personal blogs since time began.

      I agree that finding new to you bloggers is all about luck. I wish it was a simple as sleuthing around, Miss Marple style, then finding your perfect new bloggy friend. But it don’t work that way. So very true about “marketers, influencers, and an army of idiots expending minimal effort to try and game a social graph.” On the one hand it’s amusing to watch them spin their wheels, on the other hand I want to shout *go away* and have them magically evaporate. So far that hasn’t worked though.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It’s always delightful to meet someone here in blog land that gets what it used to be like here in blog land.

      Liked by 1 person

  95. I think I sort of gave up on finding new blogs a long time ago when I realised I don’t really have time to be reading so many blogs. But now and then I feel like browsing and seeing what’s out there in the great wide blogosphere, and I find that checking out blogs by commenters on blogs I already follow gives me better results than seeing what WP wants to recommend to me on their “discover” page.

    I think I found your blog because I saw you had commented on someone else’s blog I follow, and it must’ve been a witty/insightful/(some other good adjective) comment that made me wonder who this Ally person was 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pistachios, I’m glad we found each other, but I couldn’t tell you how or who made it happen. I agree that it’s by going through comments elsewhere that I’ve found some of my favorite bloggers. The blogging challenges are great, but often that’s all a blogger does and after the challenge is over those bloggers disappear. Or at least that’s been my experience. Oh well

      Liked by 1 person

  97. I admit that I haven’t been as good about checking out new blogs as I ought to because I have been swamped with work. But I admire you for doing it. You are a great connector of people. with your blog.

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    • L. Marie, thank you. I do try to connect ideas and people together, but this is the first time in ages that I’ve intentionally gone looking for newfound bloggers. I’m glad I did so, but am more than happy to be a blogger who just is who she is. Take me as you find me.

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  99. I definitely agree with you on one thing I only leave a comment if I genuinely liked what I read and wanted to share my thoughts on the same….never as a means to get more following…intact I dislike it when some bloggers like ALL my blogs in a span of 10 seconds which means that they didn’t actually read and just hoping for me to do the same…while it’s a good thing for their stats, but I’d rather much prefer you read, like and comment only if it resonates with you….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hear, hear, Gibberish. I don’t understand why anyone would like all my posts or all the comments on them, let alone how they’d do it in the span of 10 seconds. I can think of no faster way to get me to never read your blog posts, than to do that. Yet it happens frequently here. 🤨

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      • Yes it does…and usually (most often),I don’t respond back the same way….I read and if I like it, then only I like and comment. Isn’t that the very reason behind blogging, that people read what you’re writing and share their thoughts on the same… definitely a much healthier way of helping each other….but I do like discovering new bloggers outside of my bloggu friends….

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        • Well, it’s my reason for blogging: that is, to talk about stuff that happens, to learn about how other people process their lives, to have some fun. However I do realize that some people write personal blogs just for the writing practice, or to be the star in their own realm, so they may not be into connecting with other people. But for the most part I’ve found that people like to connect via blogs. And that’s cool beans.

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  100. Wow this post is my kinda saviour. I started blogging a few months ago but I only now I realise its way more than just posting. I had no clue about these things!! Thank you for this.

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  101. I’m quite new to blogging. I started my blog just over a year ago, and unfortunately I don’t post as often as I’d like because of lack of time. I enjoy using the WordPress app to get inspiration from other bloggers, which is how I stumbled about this post. I think it’s a great way to make new connections. In December I also, quite randomly signed up for the WordPress blogging for beginners course, and whilst the content of the course might be useless to you as an experienced blogger, the best thing I found about the course, is the fact that you become part of a community of new and more experienced bloggers, who look forward to giving tips and helping each other out, and give opinions and feedback about blog posts.

    I personally love getting comments on my posts. They encourage me to keep writing and sometimes certain comments and feedback come as a wonderful surprise that might be really touching or uplifting.

    I’m not blogging for money or to get some sort of celebrity status. I started blogging to share some of my thoughts and see how people react to them, so I truly am appreciative of every comment. It’s great to see whether people feel the same or have a completely different perspective. Do culture and language also play a role? (English is technically my second language.)

    I tend to comment according to feelings that come up as I’m reading a particular post, and I’m generally quite shy so at times, it takes quite a bit of courage to actually do so. But I love the idea and possibility of making connections with “random strangers” from around the world.

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    • Rachel, thanks for taking the time to read and comment here. I appreciate it. I started blogging long before there were any courses on how to blog, so I’m pleased to read about your experience doing that. I used to join in blogging challenges and that provided a sense of community and support. I can understand why you enjoyed the blogging for beginners course.

      Like you I don’t blog for money or for status or to sell anything. I started my first blog just to see if I could do it, which might not be the most earth-shattering reason for a blog, but it’s the truth of it. It took years before I got the hang of showing up to my blog regularly because while I admit that blogging is a fun kind of lifestyle, I do have a life beyond blog land. [For some reason this seems to surprise many people. Do they think I sit all day watching for new blog posts elsewhere and comments here? Rhetorical question]

      I wish you well with your blog. It sounds like you’ve got a good handle on how things work, and because of that will find a community that understands you and keeps you engaged. Ever onward, eh?

      Liked by 2 people

      • I guess there might be people who and breathe their blog. I totally get you, because as much as I enjoy writing, and do this because of my love for writing, most of the time it ends up being the last thing on my mind, unfortunately. Do you have any tips on how to make a more regular habit out of it?

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        • The thing that has worked for me is that I state when I’ll be posting. Not what, just when. For instance, right now for this spring [and maybe summer] I’ll be here every other Tuesday morning, meaning I’ll be here twice a month. This way I make myself accountable and I give myself a specific goal to aim for. Seems to keep me on the straight and narrow!

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  103. Ally! Yikes! You are doing something right with over 300 comments on this post alone! 😀 An excellent article about comments on blog posts. I’m glad you reached out to mine a little while ago and happy to have become friends here in the process. The best thing about comments are the friendships, the discussions and always learning something new! Currently listening to an album mentioned by a blogger in my last post and gosh, I can’t count how many I’ve bought on other’s recommendations.

    Like you, I will never leave a message just to ingratiate myself or if a post really does not touch me. However, I will happily leave a comment on very new blog sites if they are interesting and original – I still remember my excitement when I recveived my first comments as a newbie and am so grateful to those who reached out to me!

    You are right about some bloggers disappearing this year … and I too became aware I had to make an extra effort to take part on discussions on other sites, it is easy to become too lax. In the end, it all depends what one wants from blogging!

    Wishing you a wonderful week, Ally! xx 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Annika, you said it perfectly: “The best thing about comments are the friendships, the discussions and always learning something new!” I agree wholeheartedly. In fact that’s the only reason I’ve hung around blog land for as long as I have.

      As for the comments on this post about commenting, I’d just like to comment and say that I never, ever would have thought this topic would be this popular. I was just sharing my experiences and observations and apparently they rang true with many people.

      I’m glad we’ve connected now. My theory about blogging is that the right people come into your life at the right time. Not so profound, but it’s proven true for me. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  104. Wow, your post hit home! My small blogging world has lost many beautiful voices since the pandemic as t writers drew inward to focus on health or simply surviving re: working from home or teaching children remotely.
    Like you, I’ve gone on wanders through WP leaving likes or comments to widen my social/internet circle…most have returned the favour while others didn’t or weren’t able to respond in kind…it’s inspiring to read your words and it makes me want to try again (I admit, I’ve been a wee bit quiet myself!).
    Your post brightened a rather rainy morning, thank you for sharing! X

    Liked by 2 people

    • anotetohuguette, I wondered when I wrote this if other bloggers were experiencing the same thing that I was. I understand why people have drifted away from blogging, especially in light of this last year. I’m happy that I challenged myself to reach out, but I’m such an introvert that doing it was a stretch for me. It was rainy here earlier today but now the sun is out. Hope your day has been to your liking. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  105. Interesting post and conversation. I frequently look for new blogs to read and bloggers to chat with. Unless it’s a clearly technical, entrepreneurial or business-like blog, I see blogging as a social activity, and try to leave comments on blogs I visit, if the post is interesting. I usually receive a reply and sometimes they visit me at my blog. If I see a comment field where the blogger never replies to the comments, then I actually don’t comment, because to me comments are for conversation and to connect with people – and no replies tells me that the blogger isn’t interested in that.

    Personally, I LOVE to receive comments on my blog and always take the time to visit back, and leave a comment if I have something to say.

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    • Susanne, you’ve figured out what works for you when it comes to comments on personal blogs and that is wonderful. I realize not everyone writes a blog for the same reasons but I do think that if your comment section is open you’re suggesting that you want to be social. Of course, how you’re social varies, I suppose. That’s something I learned these last few months while intentionally being proactive. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment here. I appreciate it.

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  106. I was a blogger years ago (early 2000s) and due to the pandemic I decided to actually start it up again. The blogger world has changed so much and almost seems foreign to me now. I’m still figuring things out but your site helped me out loads. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!

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    • Sheld, I agree that the blogosphere has changed since the early 2000s. I started my first blog back then. I enjoy how blogging is now but it takes more work to get any post to publish. Still I carry on. All the best to you as you return to this world.

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  107. I’m always surprised by bloggers who don’t respond to comments. I feel like if that’s the case, why even have a comment section. Due to things going on outside the blog, I am slower to respond to comments than I have in the past, but I see it as a conversation and can’t imagine not carrying on the dialogue. I have had a few times where someone was thrown into spam by strange WP forces and I was horrified to discover it later. I don’t like people to think they might be unwelcome in my space so I try to check the spam folder somewhat regularly. I usually find new blogs by them commenting on mine or through the comment sections of people I follow. I met many of my early blog friends through the WP weekly photo challenge. You are right though, many people that I used to converse with are blogging less, but I seem to be following the same path as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amy, I agree with you, of course. I’m not concerned about how quickly a blogger replies to comments, just that they do. If you don’t want to reply to comments then turn off the comment section OR clearly state that you’re not inclined to reply to comments. Be clear about what’s up with you.

      I know what you mean about WP tossing comments into spam. It makes no sense as to why sometimes a comment goes there, but they do. Also I’m having difficulties with WP holding some comments in moderation, often comments from longtime commenters here who should have no problem posting one. I don’t know what that’s about either.

      Oddly enough I’m writing less often here, but getting more comments on each post. This seems counterintuitive to me, but the numbers don’t lie. If nothing else, the ways of the blogosphere are always a mystery to behold. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  108. So many of my favorite bloggy friends are taking breaks or decreasing the amount of posting (also guilty) and I’ve realized that since I’ve stopped writing as much, I’ve also stopped reading as much, which kind of makes me sad. It’s kind of like kids’ sport parent friendships – I see them, I like them, I interact with them, but once we’ve moved to differing sport seasons the commonality and ease is gone and life is busy so it kind of falls by the wayside until we’re back in the same circle again! I have one blog I absolutely love that almost never responds to comments. I still leave them. And I will definitely leave a comment on a new blog if I have something to say that will add to the conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Katie, good analogy of how bloggy friendships go. We bloggers are together for a while, have a great time of it, then mosey off into new directions. No harm, no foul. That is so true, although there are two people here who started blogging around the same time that I did in 2004 and we still check-in with each other. Much has changed in our lives during that time of course, but as longtime bloggers with a history we remain connected. In some ways they are the reason I continue on with personal blogging, come to think of it.

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  109. Yes, I am inclined to leave comments on newfound blogs. I do feel hopeful for a reply. My hope in leaving comments is that I can: Make new online friends in the blogosphere. I am a little sad that no one has commented on any of my posts yet; although I also feel a little worried that what if I receive very negative comments that might also get me cancelled. I hope that I can find bloggers that I can connect with and hopefully we can cross share and build fruitful relationships with.

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    • Agathon Tohen, it’s not always easy to leave a comment on a new to you blog because while the blogger may be great, the subject matter is nothing you’re interested in. That’s ok, of course– but does lend credence to the need to only comment somewhere when so moved to do so. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment here. Best of luck in your blogging adventures.

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  110. I’m new to blogging. I’ve been doing this. I let people know that I’ve enjoyed their blog and give my thought. I’ve enjoyed it and I feel the bloggers really are surprised and enjoy the comments and are thankful.

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    • Tomrebro, I remember how excited I was when I got my first comment from someone who I didn’t already know. [Friends & family had commented but someone new!] It’s fun to connect via the blogosphere, but does take some time and effort. Thanks for joining in here.

      Liked by 1 person

  111. I only look at a handful of blogs these days, but I have to tell you that I have never seen any other blog with as much conversation in the comments as you have. It’s truly impressive.

    It would never occur to me that I was intruding. Blogging is public, and if they have a public blog that anyone can access, to me that means that they are open to and want comments. Funny to open my mind a bit and think about other possibilities.

    I am guilty of not often going back to a comment thread to see whether someone has replied to my comment. Probably why I don’t have a lot of readers on my blog, I don’t engage enough. Food for thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    • J, because so many people comment on this blog, for a wide variety of reasons, I seem to be following about a gazillion bloggers. Slight exaggeration. I try to keep up with people who are interesting to me and thanks to Feedly I can do that relatively easily. Still it has become a weird unexpected consequence of writing this blog: I spend a lot of time commenting.

      I take your point, but strange as it may seem I worry that I might be intruding when I leave a comment for the first time. Like you I try to go back to see how [if] someone has replied to my comment but not as often as I used to do.

      When I started blogging back in 2004 I never dreamed this is where I’d be today. Am glad you’re still here with me, though. Thanks for being a good bloggy friend over the years.

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  112. Like you I usually comment in the moment when I read something that lights me up or piques my interest, though then I second guess myself and wonder if I should have stuck my two pennies worth in! But I’ve been blogging for about nine months now and it’s time I got some confidence engaging with others outside of my own blog, I’ll try not to take it personally on the occasions when I don’t get a response, if only to keep my fragile ego in tact! 😊

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    • raecod, in my experience much of personal blogging is about not taking anything personally. Leaving comments included. I’m an introvert so from the beginning it’s been difficult [uncomfortable?] for me to leave comments, but I realize blogging is social so I attempt to join in. Glad to know this post piqued your interest enough for you to comment here. 🙂

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  113. This is definitely a great read, especially for someone who is new to blogging. Commenting on and liking blog posts, I feel, is essential to building your audience and creating a network. I understand if a blog has many commenters that I may not be noticed or responded to… however, it is always nice to be noticed and to have a conversation or reply. It’s definitely a transfer of energy, if you will.

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    • jaym, I hadn’t thought of commenting as a transfer of energy and you are right. Great observation. I’m an old-school blogger so I see personal blogging as a way to keep my mind clicking and my heart open. Commenting helps me with that. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment here.

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  114. Such an interesting post, Ally. I love comments on my blog (outside of spam, of course) and kind of assumed everyone else would be too. I occasionally visit sites of people who comment on blogs I follow, especially if the comment they left is intriguing. If I find anything in the new blog that interests me, I will leave a comment. As part of that comment, I tell them how I found their blog. I appreciate a response to my comment and am especially delighted if the blogger checks out my blog and leaves a comment there. Best case scenario, I make a lasting connection or at least get involved in an engaging one-time conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Christie, your approach to blogging is like mine. I love comments here and would hope that other bloggers like comments on their blogs, too– but have come to wonder if that is always the case. I find many new to me bloggers by the comments they leave on other people’s blogs, then I go see what the new to me bloggers are all about. I’m betting that’s how we connected, through another blogger via the comment section. [Donna maybe?]

      I agree with your best case scenario. I’m cool with a lasting connection OR a good one-time conversation. I’m not hung up on reciprocity or stats so I enjoy whatever happens for what it is, something fun and insightful.

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      • I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we connected through Donna’s blog. She is one of the first people to encourage me and even invited me to write a guest post when I was just starting out with blogging.

        Liked by 1 person

  115. I like leaving comments, I feel that it shows the bloggers that you have read their blog and taken interest and understood what they have blogged about. I am a new blogger so I probably have great enthusiasm towards blogging and other bloggers.

    I haven’t really thought about how I feel when I comment, I just want to be friendly and let them know that I enjoyed their blog or write a comment of my thoughts. I haven’t felt like an intruder on anyones blog but now you have mentioned it I am starting to feel like that on this comment. Sorry.

    The best thing that could happen would be the blogger reply after reading the comment. I comment and like posts at the same time and occasionally just like but that means I have liked the post but am lost for words.

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    • thebenneys, your understanding of how blogging works is spot on. Leaving comments is part of the fun of it. At least, that’s how I approach it. It’s not always easy to know what to say on a comment but I do think it’s worth the effort. As for being an intruder here, you are not one. Thanks for joining in the conversation. Happy blogging!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi, I do believe that spending time to appreciate other bloggers and support them with comments is key to creating positive relationships and an awesome blogging environment. I agree, sometimes it is difficult to know what to say, some peoples work amazing yet there are no words to reply, this is when a generic reply comes in which isn’t very personal but still shows appreciation. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your blogging journey and not be an intruder on your post, I have really enjoyed this conversation. Have a great day.

        Liked by 1 person

  116. I usually leave a comment because I have read something that I like or that is interesting to me. I believe that not all the people manage the comments response at the same way and also, it could be that some of these bloggers may not know what to do or how to react with a comment.
    Your idea of moving of your comfort zone and try to know about other bloggers is very kind!

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    • poliansunrise, you’ve hit the nail on the head with comments. If something is interesting, leave a comment if you can. I also think you’re right about how some bloggers don’t know what to do with comments. It takes a while to understand the ebb and flow of personal blogging. I’m glad I extended myself like I did to comment more, but am happy to let things just flow now. We’re heading into summer soon and I want to take it easy.

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  117. I am always in search of new bloggers to read more about their unique ideas and comments. Blogging is an ongoing process and I love to meet new people esp those who are conversation starters.

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  118. Thanks for your post, Ally Bean. As a fairly new (one year last week) blogger, I do leave likes and comments on newfound blogs that I come across, just as I am doing now.

    I’ve never stopped to ponder what the blog owner might feel. Neither do I feel like an intruder. If the blog was not meant to be read, liked, and commented on, I assume it will be “private.” I read the blog and like or comment if I love it and as a gesture of support.

    What’s the best thing to happen? I personally don’t think much of it – just keep pushing. Whether my likes and comments were reciprocated, which is not the reason for my liking, visiting, or commenting in the first place, I’ll still support and like their posts if it’s a good one and I resonate with it. My three cents 😊

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    • ThinkTalk, I agree with your logic about comment sections. If one is there, you’d assume the blogger wants comments, but what he or she does with them varies. Therein was my learning experience highlighted during these last few months of reaching out.

      I admire your ability to support new to you bloggers by leaving comments. Like this one. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment here. Greatly appreciated

      Liked by 1 person

  119. Facing same issue. I revived my blog recently and found out that many blogger friends of mine had stopped blogging. Unlike you, I am just too shy right now to barge into the comment section of new bloggers. 😅

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  120. I am mortified. I was under the impression that I was following you, and just realised that I wasn’t. How could I have missed you? No wonder your posts never came in my reader, and I usually read them by clicking on your comments in mine.
    Rectified. I’ll get your posts on my reader henceforth. Whew.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Limp Cabbage and Soggy Chips, thanks for making the effort to follow along here. I appreciate it. A few other bloggers have said that there’s something wonky going on with the WP Reader + email system. I follow blogs in Feedly so I don’t know exactly what is not working in WP, but it sounds like you’ve fixed it on your end. Again, thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

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