In Which A Good Friend Suggests I Am A Bad Influence, As If

/ Ally Bean

Catching up with a friend. Talking about what’s new with her…

FRIEND: I got thrown out of Bible Study.

ME: Wait what? YOU were in a Bible Study group? You? WHY?!!

FRIEND: I know, it’s hard to believe. It’s not really my thing, but my older sister’s high school best friend made me join.

ME: Wait what? HOW did she make you do this?

FRIEND: Oh, she asked me to join so I did. She got credit for bringing in new members. She got thrown out of Bible Study, too. Because of me… AND YOU, really.

ME: Wait, hold the horses. How did I get you two thrown out of Bible Study? I didn’t even know you were doing it, let alone in the group.

FRIEND: You told me about Cosmopolitans.

ME: Huh? Like back when Sex and the City was on TV? Those drinks?

FRIEND: Yep… and I think you were to one who suggested seeing the movie Sideways. The one about drinking wine.

ME: How does any of this have anything to do with you getting thrown out of Bible Study?

FRIEND: My older sister’s high school best friend and I were to arrange a Saturday night Bible Study get together. It was at her house. She provided the location and I provided refreshments and a movie. It was so we all could bond, or something.

ME: Uh huh.

FRIEND: So we’d just been talking in Bible Study class about Jesus turning water into wine and I remembered the movie about the vineyards. It seemed relevant to me. Then I remembered how Carrie and her girlfriends loved their Cosmopolitans so I made those the drink of the night.

ME: Ok.

FRIEND: But the thing is that I didn’t know this get together was supposed to be alcohol-free so almost no one wanted my drinks. It was Saturday night for goodness sake. Who doesn’t drink then?

ME: This group of women apparently.

FRIEND: I think they would’ve overlooked the booze except for the movie. Well, one part of the movie. I’d forgotten there was nudity in it.

ME: There is?

FRIEND: Yep a full frontal shot of a naked man running down a street. You can see his junk and this shocked most of the girls. They left immediately.

ME: No kidding? They just left?!!

FRIEND: Yep, but those who stayed drank the Cosmopolitans and we had a good time watching the movie. They understood how it was about wine, something Jesus made. It was fine with them.

ME: So how did you find out you’d been thrown out of Bible Study?

FRIEND: An email on Monday morning told us. My older sister’s high school best friend isn’t upset. She says she’s relieved to be free from it… and them.

ME: And you? How do you feel about this?

FRIEND: Oh I’m fine with it. It was something to do for a while, but now it isn’t something to do.

ME: There’s that.

FRIEND: So tried any new drinks lately? Seen any good movies? You always know the most fun things!

ME: Uh huh.

~ The End ~

201 thoughts on “In Which A Good Friend Suggests I Am A Bad Influence, As If”

  3. That’s funny – I wouldn’t worry about having caused your friends to be tossed out. I don’t have to drink at every event, but I’m always a little suspicious of alcohol-free things.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. LOLOLOLOL that is TOO funny. For the record, I love Cosmopolitans. Party like it’s 1999 and we are all discussing if we are a Charlotte or a Carrie!

    Talk about badass, getting people kicked out of Bible study!!!

    Liked by 6 people

    • Nicole, I thought this was hilarious, too. Friend is not one to join things so this had me intrigued from the git-go. I like your idea about partying with our Cosmopolitans in hand, deciding which character is our true self. I’m Carrie, of course. Was she badass though…? 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ha ha, the group needs to read their Bibles more carefully. It is FULL of full frontal nudity – and more. Salacious stuff in there. As for the story of water to wine, I’ve always admired Jesus for being the one to keep the party going.

    Liked by 7 people

  7. I nearly choked on my tea, laughing and it’s my first cuppa of the day!! What a hoot!!
    That’s a really good way to get out of the Bible Study group.

    So, uh, you’ll share any other drink recommendations and movies here too, yes! You never know!
    😂😂😂😂😂💕

    Liked by 4 people

  12. You really aren’t making this up are you? You have a knack Ally Bean, of sharing stories that leave me speechless in many ways. Not in a negative way mind you, just in awe and truly with no words for the situation 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    • Deb, no this was a for real conversation with a good friend who I’ve known forever. It was in passing, but I had to share it here. I mean, isn’t this what blogs are for? To share some of the looniness of life?!!

      Liked by 5 people

  18. People were desperate to get out of the house after Covid lockdown. I think that is why she joined bible study. Obviously, not the right fit. Hope she finds a group that she can connect with.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Love it! What a great litmus test for tolerance, and what a tremendous way to open up space for new and considerably more enjoyable experiences (and people). Although it would be fun to watch “The Brand New Testament” with this group of tight-a$$es. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend (if you like weird, which clearly you do, Ally).

    Liked by 4 people

    • Donna, I like your take on this. The socializing experience was a litmus test for tolerance, and this particular Bible Study group failed. [I, of course, had nothing to do with this!] I don’t know about The Brand New Testament and will look for it. Thanks for the suggestion.

      Liked by 3 people

  22. Ha ha! Thanks for the laugh Ally Bean. You never know when you’ll be blamed for something. Your influence spreads far and wide. For the best I might add. Have you heard of buchu brandy? I bet not. A South African thing made from buchu which is an indigenous plant. It’s supposed to be healthy so I have it every now and then and to H with the consequences.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Susan, I had to laugh at this conversation. Somehow past Me influenced Friend enough to feel that current ME needs to take the blame for Friend being expelled from Bible Study. Logical in a twisted way, I guess.

      I don’t know about buchu brandy, but if it’s healthy and you like it then drink up. Life’s too short to not enjoy what you can.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Janis, excellent point about gratitude, grace, and forgiveness. In my worldview [shaped by studying at Christian universities], those are the goals, the path to making your way through the toils and snares of this world. I know there are more relaxed Bible Study groups, and if I were to join one, which I’m not looking to do, I’d find one comfortable with R-rated movies and cocktails.

      Liked by 2 people

  25. I’m going to shock you now Ally, I joined one once. It was more about third world issues but, being led by a great forward thinking (and big drinking) catholic priest, the bible did come up more than once or twice 😀 Then he invited along some non catholic Christians and their knowledge of the bible made some of our number blanch, and the group rapidly broke up in disarray. Some of the blanchers didn’t drink either – something of a pattern here methinks. I did drink, of course. Even if I had to take it in turns to be nominated driver with the other drinkers. The non drinkers never offered anyone a lift. That also says a lot about them…

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deb, I’ve no doubt that there are some wonderful Bible Study groups out there, however I have to wonder about the rest of them. I’m impressed that you joined one and amazed that your experience was similar to the experience Friend had with her group. Is there some unwritten code that says a bunch of Christian woman have to be uptight? I went to Christian universities and we all seemed to be able to drink and still find time for church-y things. It’s about balance.

      I agree that your non-drinkers did show their colors by not offering to give you a lift home, the charitable thing to do, in my estimation.

      Liked by 2 people

  27. This is so funny. I love that movie and I love that you are the fall guy for being a bad influence. In fact, I rented ‘Sideways’ from the library minutes before everything shut down and the library wouldn’t let items be returned – so the DVD was in my house for several months. I’m the queen of forgetting the naughty scenes in movies. We watched ‘Meet the Millers’ with our 3 boys a few years ago. I’d forgotten about Jennifer Aniston’s pole dance. I had the remote and when Coach and the boys hollered at me to fast forward, I panicked. I accidentally paused it. Awkward. Now when we watch a questionable movie, I’m not allowed to hold the remote.

    This sounds like one uptight Bible Study group.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Ernie, how funny that you had this very movie in your possession for a long time. I’d forgotten all about it before Friend mentioned it. I’m like you, I forget anything that’s risqué in a movie. I love that you’re no longer allowed to hold the remote during movies. And yes the Bible Study group did sound uptight, which is a shame, but there you go. It happens.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. I don’t think I’d recomment “Priscilla Queen of the Desert’ to that ‘friend’ or any other movie with progressive material in it. Sometimes a cosmo is just a cosmo. And Bible Study isn’t for everyone. I did it with a friend once and although our actual religious affiliations were supposed to be a big secret (the leaders of the group knew of course), somehow it got out that I was *gasp of shock and horror* MORMON. At least two women were kicked out of that group for trying to bully me because I wasn’t ‘really a Christian”. Well to my point of view neither were they! I stopped going because one thing I cannot abide is hypocrisy. Which neither of the bullies could spell, much less understand. I think Jesus would be appalled, but He might enjoy some wine now and then..

    Liked by 4 people

    • Laura, yes this was a real conversation. I don’t know how Friend remembered what I’d done years before but she did and she was right. I admit to introducing her to Cosmopolitans and that movie, but talk about unintended consequences!

      Liked by 2 people

  31. Hmm. The first time I got really intoxicated I was working as a youth representative on the planning committee for a Lutheran youth conference. I forget how many thousands of youths descended on our city but the night before it started the planning committee which consisted of a bunch of pastors, me and probably another of us youth representatives – it’s been a while – got together to celebrate all our hard work. One of the pastors smuggled 13 cases of wine across 8 states on Greyhound buses marked as “communion wine.” I was introduced to caviar that same night.

    I’m not sure why I told this story but it somehow seemed relevant. Your friend’s bible study group must not have been Lutheran. And you would’ve fit right in?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Zazzy, what a great story of “communion wine” and of all things, caviar. That’s a lot of wine. I’m laughing here both because of your experience and because I earned my BA at a Lutheran university. Among the many things I learned there while studying English Lit, I also learned that good Lutherans know how to drink– with no judgement at all.

      Liked by 2 people

  33. I have a history of not doing well in all-girl groups. Dropped out of Bluebirds, almost quit cheerleading, and did quit my sorority. However, some of my dearest friends were found in those groups. Your story reminds me of that Groucho Marx line about not wanting to be a member of a club that would have me as a member—only it’s more like, I don’t want to be a member of any club that won’t have my friends as members. Your friend sounds like a good egg.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Rita, I admit that I was surprised that Friend joined this group, for the reason you mention. She usually gets involved in outdoor adventures open to all. I remember that Groucho line and it’s a good one. Friend is a good person. Always has been.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jan, you’ve nailed the essential problem with that Bible Study group, a bit too judgmental to be considered charitable Christians. Still I imagine there are many more groups like them out there.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Wow. Of all the things… Cosmos are delicious. There’s a sushi place that a friend and I were working our way down the cocktail menu. Last one I had was sex on the beach. Imagine if your friend had made that!

    Liked by 3 people

  36. I am laughing at this because I am part of a Bible study group (we call Life Group) and I can’t imagine being kicked out of it over adult refreshment and a naughty movie. We’re a pretty non-judgmental group, so I wouldn’t fit into your friend’s sister’s group either.

    I only want to know exactly what other adult refreshment and excellent movies you recommend (Lord forgive me). 😉

    Liked by 3 people

      • Nope. Not a bit.

        Now, if she had TOLD you she was hosting bible study and asked YOU what to serve and what to watch and IF you suggested Cosmos, Wine, and Full Frontal Nudity and IF she then substituted YOUR judgment for hers, she might be able to convince 1 or 2 people that it was YOUR fault.

        But she would never convince me. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks for your clear support concerning my lack of involvement in this situation. It was one of the funniest conversations I’ve had in a while. Kind of stream of consciousness on her side, kind of “I DON’T THINK SO” on mine.

          Liked by 2 people

  40. Clearly your friend can’t read a room! Lol! I am NOT a movie person, but years ago, I was part of a Bible study and the leader suggested we watch the movie The Gospel of John. It was 3 hours long! Pure torture. Maybe a cosmo might have helped?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Bijoux, a three hour movie is too long for me. A Cosmopolitan would be the only way I might make it through the whole thing. You’re probably right about Friend. She’s a good person, but maybe not so tuned into people.

      Liked by 1 person

  41. This is hilarious! I think you should wear it as a badge of honor. I was in a Bible study group from my church a few years ago. Those women were a lot of fun and appreciated a nice cocktail or 2! Several also had a very bawdy sense of humor. I believe one of Jesus’s messages was this: life’s short. Whoop it up while you can!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laurie, this was one of the funniest conversations I’ve had in ages. You said it about how a Bible Study group can be fun and relaxed, but Friend didn’t find one of those. Quite the opposite. I like your “Whoop it up while you can!” attitude. Jesus would approve.

      Liked by 1 person

  43. This reminds me of when we were home schooling and I was part of a support group. Most of the members weren’t mainline Christians (i.e. Catholic, Episcopalian, etc. or Lutheran as I am). So they all viewed me a bit skeptically anyway, I think. I stayed in the group for some time but when I talked about how good the Little House books were and one member said they weren’t because Laura and her mother joined a lodge, I quit. Here’s the funny, as in weird/odd/disconcerting thing: in the world I would be considered by many to be conservative (which I am) to a fault, but in this group I felt as if I were to the left of Ted Kennedy. It felt as if I were two completely different, incompatible people. I felt as good leaving the group as I did when I left FB and for somewhat the same reasons. 🙂

    As for drinking wine, besides Jesus turning water into wine (and, I might add, the best wine), Paul mentions that a little wine is good for the stomach. Wine isn’t bad, being drunk is. Had that conversation with a Christian woman once many, many years ago and had to disengage there, too. However, I’ve experienced shunning from people to the left of me when I don’t want to participate in some things they think are fine. The continuum runs the same distance either side of center. 🙂

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, I, too, am in the center when it comes to politics and lifestyle and religion. I am too conservative for some people and way too wild for others. I didn’t remember that Laura and her mother joined a lodge, but am sure that my Presbyterian parents weren’t worried about that. It’s amazing to me what minutiae people worry about. Your story about the home schooling group proves that.

      I laughed out loud with comment about Jesus making the BEST wine. Well of course, he did. You’re so right about how drinking isn’t the problem, it’s getting drunk that is the problem. One does not necessarily lead to the other, but I know some conservative Christians are convinced that it does.

      Like

  46. Of course it’s all your fault Ally! For years I argued the water to wine story with Christian friends and acquaintances who didn’t drink – Dude, Jesus loved to party, loosen up and have fun! Who cares about getting throw out of Bible study anyway? I’m more worried about bursting into flames if I enter a church! – I just really cracked myself up with that one lol!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Martha, you made me laugh out loud with this comment. Thank you. I have to admit that I was surprised that Friend was in a Bible Study group. Not her style, but the cocktails were! Jesus would approve, I believe.

      Like

  47. Hilarious! This was a great story. It’s strange it kick someone out of a group. And, can you imagine kicking someone out of your book club because you have different tastes in books or drinks?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nicki, no I cannot imagine kicking someone out of book club for different tastes, but apparently this particular Bible Study group has its own rules. While I maintain I’m not to blame, I do enjoy knowing that I [somehow] contributed to the story. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  49. I can’t even imagine kicking someone out of a Bible study group. The way it happened is pretty hilarious, but still… Anyway, I didn’t have a clue what a Cosmopolitan might be, so I looked it up. I’d have passed on that myself, but then I’m a Lutheran, and at most of our Bible studies we stick to beer or wine!

    Liked by 2 people

    • shoreacres, if you followed the link in the post to the recipe for a Cosmopolitan it shows how pretty the drink is– but it’s strong. Not exactly my idea of a good drink, but Friend likes them. I went to a Lutheran university for undergrad and I, too, am more of a beer or wine drinker with, or without, Bible Study.

      Liked by 2 people

      • To be honest, I rarely drink any more, and I almost never drink hard liquor, simply by preference. Now, a Margarita with Mexican food? Sure. Beer with barbeque? Of course. Depending on the Bible study, I suppose a Cosmo would do as well as anything — although an Old Fashioned might be nice, too!

        Liked by 1 person

  50. Great story and excellent reason to get kicked out of Bible study! I wouldn’t like a Cosmo but it would take at least a couple of beers to get me to discuss anything biblical. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Margaret, my memory of Cosmopolitans is that they were strong in flavor and alcohol content. I haven’t had one in probably 10 years. While Friend is a reader I was surprised she joined an all-women’s group. She’s more of a co-ed outdoors person.

      Like

  51. That Cosmopolitan must have been real badass but love the fact that it liberated your friend from the shackles of the bible group who don’t sound fun at all. What is in that drink? I shall have to consult Google. I feel so out of touch…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Barbara, good question. Maybe older sister’s high school best friend gained status within the group? Seems to me that leaving the group might gain one brownie points in heaven, which seems more important to me.

      Liked by 2 people

  53. I could provide links to some posts on my blog for anyone who’s looking to be exorcised from a Bible study group. Come to think of it, I could probably get one thrown out of just about any civilized group they no longer wish to be a part of…

    Liked by 2 people

    • evilsquirrel13, you have amazing abilities. I don’t think Friend intended on getting thrown out, but she did. In some ways I feel honored to have played a small part in her experience.

      Like

    • Shelley, I have to admit that I haven’t had a Cosmopolitan in years. They were pretty to look at and strong to drink, as I recall. It’s amazing and funny that Friend thought of those drinks and associates them with me.

      Liked by 1 person

        • They’re up in a martini glass and they’re icy pink. Just lovely, but one is plenty. I don’t know that I’ve said those exact words, but maybe I have. I’ve said a lot of things. However, getting to your point, I agree. You just never know who’s paying attention to what you do and how your behavior affects them. That’s either scary or inspiring, not sure which. 🤔

          Liked by 1 person

    • nance, I cannot explain for sure other than to say that Friend loves all cocktails and always has a special one whenever she has a party. She’s all about the drink of the night. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  56. LOVE THIS!
    Are you by chance in the Southern United States? To this day in some places, not drinking is the 11th Commandment. In my part of Kentucky, some liquor stores have drive through windows in the back that are referred to as the Baptist window.

    Liked by 2 people

  57. I grew up in a household where my father declared himself an atheist, and my mother’s family escaped the pogroms of Russia and some (but not all) the holocaust in Germany. We never celebrated religious holidays in our house. Our big holidays were Halloween and Thanksgiving. So, stories about religion go way over my head. But drinking wine I can relate to. Yes, wine with dinner every night, and I’m glad to call those spirits my religion. LOL!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Robin, what an interesting childhood. I can understand why you were raised the way you were but can think of no one else I know who had similar experiences. I grew up in typical midwest religious fashion, lots of church activities to do, holidays to celebrate, BUT with the parental admonishment to take everything with a grain of salt. Yes, yes, but no.

      Liked by 1 person

  58. You show us all how to write dialogue. Perfectly perfected, and funny to boot! (Or is it, to shoe? hmmmm an old and odd expression). Maybe next time it will be your fault when a friend gets BOOTED out of something. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  59. OMG! The story is funny and then all the great comments. You had me at “older sisters high school best friend made me”. I almost thought you made it up as it’s so wild that she cast the blame to you!
    Never had a cosmopolitan but I’ve never ran out on a party that had alcohol. I’ve seen too many full frontals at work to go shy about them in a movie! I mean come on – it’s 2021. Have these woman been living under a rock??

    Liked by 2 people

    • BernieLynne, when Friend told me who made her join the group I got very interested. I mean how does that happen? But when Friend decided to blame me for the whole deal I got laughing. She was joshing [sort of], of course. I think you may be right that these women have been living under a rock. That would explain it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My older sister’s high school friend would be Linda K (they are still friends 50+ years later) could ask me to do something and I would be able to decline or accept. She would have zero power to “make me”. But then she had moxie to do the movie and drinks! Maybe she planned it that way to get out of it?

        Like

  60. HA! As a Christian Conservative woman, I have no reservations about a drink or two or even three, so I would have gladly joined in…some women (folks) are just too uptight. Shameful, the good Lord says nothing about having a drink, but what he does say is NOT to get drunk. grin

    Liked by 3 people

  61. I’ve never tried a Cosmopolitan – am I missing something Ally? For that matter I’ve never had a Long Island Tea that people used to rave about. I’m behind the times for trendy adult beverages because if I do have a drink it would be white wine and that’s been a while.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda, years ago, like a decade, I drank a few Cosmopolitans. They’re pretty to look at and are quite strong. I don’t know if you’re missing anything but they were trendy. I’ve had one sip of a Long Island Tea and that was all I needed. Very weird flavor, very strong. I’d prefer a glass of Sauvignon Blanc to either of those drinks!

      Liked by 2 people

      • I see – I wouldn’t want anything that strong either Ally. When I worked at the ad agency, a favorite lunch hangout for our Creative Department was the Pontchartrain Wine Cellars, the restaurant where Cold Duck was created. It is half champagne and burgundy. The bartender would pour the drink with a flourish, holding a large bottle in each hand to create your drink. I had it once, but it went right to my head so I always opted for Sauvignon Blanc instead.

        Liked by 1 person

  63. I think, based on this story, that you’re a good influence, if anything. Sounds like your friend did well to get rid of people they don’t want to hang out with, and overall they had a great time!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pistachios, this is really an ‘all’s well that ends well’ story. Friend tried something and it didn’t work. I’m still amazed that she joined a Bible Study group, but there you go. People surprise you.

      Liked by 1 person

  64. I am a wine drinker (and I loved Sideways) not much of a cocktail drinker anymore…but I do remember liking a good Cosmo back in the day, prior to S&TC. For some reason the other day, I was thinking a lovely tequila sunrise would be delicious, though likely without the tequila. They’re pretty.

    I like that your friend was fine with being booted out of the Bible study. Clearly these folks are not her tribe, though it sounds like there were SOME in the group who might have been a good fit. I hope she stayed in touch with them.

    Liked by 2 people

    • J, I don’t drink many cocktails anymore either. They don’t fit into my current *simplify* concept, but back in the day I had a few Cosmopolitans, and Old-Fashions, and Palomas, and vodka martinis. But for Friend it’s not a party without a signature cocktail. It’s her thing.

      Friend joined the group out of respect for her older sister’s high school best friend, so getting kicked out didn’t mean much to her. Friend, that is. I don’t know if she’ll stay in touch with anyone from the group, but at least she wasn’t uniformly tossed out. Some of the woman liked her.

      Like

  69. Pingback: The week gone by — July 18 – A Silly Place

  70. This was so darn funny…just like a situational comedy film…but I certainly don’t blame you.. sipping wine and discussing Carrie Bradshaw’s style game is definitely a good idea on a girls’ night out …or not in this case 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gibberish, apparently it wasn’t for this group of women. Friend meant no harm, of course, but I guess the Bible Study group saw it differently. Makes for a good story, though.

      Liked by 1 person

    • philmouse, ha! Now that’s a great way to look at it. I mean, Friend wasn’t upset, but it was weird to be pegged as the source of why it happened. Not. my. fault.

      Like

  73. Love this! Best post I’ve read in a long time! Still cracking me up! Sooo…about those drinks a good new movie…any suggestions. If I get thrown out of any clubs, I’ll be sure to give you credit! Ha! Mona

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mona, this was one of those totally absurd conversations that seemed destined to find its way into this blog. I mean I understood what Friend was saying, but really? Not. my. fault.

      Liked by 1 person

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