The One About Multitasking, Machine Beeps, And Marital Bliss

/ Ally Bean

“Monica, you’re all chaotic and twirly, but not in a good way.”

That’s a line from the TV show Friends. Zen-Den said it to me as he walked into the kitchen.

I was in the kitchen doing important things.

I’d just put some cornbread into the oven, chili was in the slow cooker, and on the counter was a new Lands’ End catalogue that I was leafing through looking for some spring-y clothes.

I had a Minwax color chart [36″ x 10″] spread across the kitchen table near the window waiting for the late afternoon sunshine to get over there so I could clearly see the three gazillion and two color choices. And the washer & dryer were doing their things in the laundry room adjacent to the kitchen.  Also I was keeping an eye on the dishwash that was almost finished with a load.

I WAS MULTI-TASKING, people.

Well before I could say a word back to Mr. Hilarmoose, the dishwasher started beeping: “I’m ready for you to unload me now.” The dryer started beeping: “Hurry, hurry, don’t let these clothes get wrinkled.” And the washing machine finished its dramatic last spin beeping its end of cycle announcment: “now. Now. NOW.”

Plus for good measure the slow cooker, a bit of a hussy, chimed in with a slow seductive beep to tell me: “I’m finished cooking now and will be over here keeping dinner warm.” 

“You look busy,” said Mr. Obvious.

“Yes. You could help,” said I as I opened the dishwasher door to let the steam out while dashing past him stopping momentarily to reposition the color chart into the sunshine on my way to rescue the clothes from the dryer.

“Pretty please with sugar on top,” I added because I’m a polite woman* who by then was struggling with the wet towels in the washing machine that didn’t want to go into the dryer without a fight.

SO WHAT DID HE DO? In what way did he help?

With a devilish smile and an ornery gleam in his eye he picked up the catalogue on the counter, moseyed over to the kitchen table where the light was better and said, “you’d look good in the light blue t-shirt.”

Which is true, but really? That’s helping?

And with that commentary, my friends, I’ll leave this tale of marital bliss– or what passes for it around here.

HONESTLY…

Any of this sound familiar to you?!! 🤨

* I’m baffled by something. If you’re on a Keto diet and have given up on sugar do you say: pretty please with bacon on top? Or butter on top? Or suet  on top?  How do you rework that polite phrase so it has meaning for you?

190 thoughts on “The One About Multitasking, Machine Beeps, And Marital Bliss”

  2. I’m surprised you didn’t come back with “So, I guess I don’t look good right now, I need the blue t-shirt?” And then remind him that the phrase always begins: “this — would look good on you.” Trained by all the women in my life 🙂

    Beep beep – I’m done.

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  4. Does not sound familiar at all as the person who never helped as been out of my life for nearly 6 years now 😉 But I am an excellent multitasker so who needs him anyway! Plus my slow cooker doesn’t beep, I am the dishwasher and I have no loud signals that emerge when I finish washing whatever was sitting in the sink, my laundry room sits next door so while I can hear the dryer balls spinning and fluffing my clothes I never hear end of cycle chimes (I just watch the clock), I love Land’s End but no orders are coming, and finally-I no longer paint/stain/ or otherwise change colors on anything. I have landlords who do all that 🙂

    I am sure you are the queen of multi-tasking Ally Bean!

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    • Deb, oh you’re living a quieter life than I am. Every stinking machine in this house has something to say. It’s amazing. I’ll admit that usually Z-D is more helpful, but in this moment he was just being a bother.

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      • Husbands can be bothersome can’t they? I was shocked the first time I heard my new stove signal the oven was up to temp and ready to bake. Miss Amana used to have this loud, grating, whiny beeeeeeeep. Now I get three softly tonal chimes. I literally was thinking someone changed the ringtone on my phone and went to answer it the first time I heard the chimes. I need to do more baking to reset my ears and brain.

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    • Arlene, we’re in the process of refinishing and repainting our kitchen table. The base is painted black now, but the top is going to stay wood… of some shade. I’m buying the light blue t-shirt just ‘cuz.

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  6. My husband washes the dinner dishes at night. At night only, but he doesn’t dry or put them away or clean the counters, or clear the table or deal with the leftovers. It’s not much, but I take what I can get.
    As for bacon on top… yes. Bacon makes everything better.
    👍

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  7. Hilarious, Ally. From your description, it sounds to me that you had all the bells and whistles pretty well synchronized…and – side note – I’ll be over soon for cornbread and chili leftovers. Yum.
    I don’t know if this is true for you, but I’ve found my *appearance* of composure (when I’m doing too much at once) gets in my way. Maybe that fun line from “Friends” was lost on Zen-Den…he SAID you were looking a little twirly, but maybe he thought you were in the “Ally Zone”? 😎

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    • Victoria, I’m laughing. You said it perfectly about how I had all the bells and whistles pretty well synchronized. Yes I did, thank you for realizing that.

      You’re onto something with the idea that I appeared composed when in reality I was frazzled on the inside. That’s an ingrained habit from managing a retail store where employees, vendors + customers come at you from all directions. I’m sure to Z-D I looked like I was in the Ally Zone, so he stepped aside.

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  8. Would watching TV, filing nails and drinking coffee all at the same time count as multitasking? If so, I’m good. Jogging from room to room stamping out beeps must work wonders at keeping you in shape—another side-benefit task to check off your list of multi’s.

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    • Julia, of course that’s multitasking! Why wouldn’t it be? 😉 Hadn’t thought about the exercise component of racing around room to room, but you’re right. I wonder how many steps I took?

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  10. Ha! Did you take the catalog and hit him in the head with it!? It drives my husband crazy when the dryer plays its song and I just stand there letting it finish. I like it and if someone went to the trouble of composing a nice song I feel like listening to it!

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    • Martha, oh your take on your dryer’s song is delightful. You’re a generous soul who appreciates music– and how useful a catalogue can be. I didn’t hit on the head with it, but it’s not a bad idea.

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  11. Since keeping our home has become my primary job, we’ve had more than one conversation about what I call the invisibility of my labor. When I am on top of my tasks, my work is largely invisible to my husband (especially since he is not home to witness it). We magically have clear kitchen counters, good food for lunches, and clean clothes that just appear in his drawers. It’s the kind of work no one notices if it’s done; they “see” it only when it is not done. Perhaps there is some element of that at play in your story? Clearly, there was plenty of auditory evidence of your work, but perhaps it still wasn’t really visible in some way?

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    • Rita, I take your point. You’re onto something valid. I know that before staying + working from home during the pandemic, Z-D didn’t really know how things happened around here. BUT after being home together for 16 months he wised up. In this case he was just being obnoxious ON PURPOSE. Or at least I think that’s what happened. 🤔

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  12. We’re a bit the other way. As in, if I am baking or cooking in the kitchen, the best help spouse can give is to get out of the way. Sometimes he will attempt to be helpful and usually it goes…poorly. Because our kitchen is galley-style, I go back and for the between counters and stove and sink quite a bit. (I have a system!) It’s only when I am stationary at the end of the madness (usually decorating a cake) that I am grateful when he offers to do some dishes. Mr. Hilarmoose is lucky he didn’t get a towel thrown at his head; your restraint is admirable.

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    • AutumnAshbough, we had a house with a galley kitchen and I instantly understand your process. If anyone gets in your way all bets are off, your flow is interrupted. I didn’t think to throw a wet towel at Z-D but now that you mention it I like the idea. Next time perhaps…?

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      • Next time, for sure! Look out ZD. I have been known to threaten to break out my rat-tailing/ towel snapping) skills as well, honed by years on swim teams. And yes, you understand–the galley kitchen is marvelously efficient…for one person.

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  15. Ha ha. To start with. My washer and dryer are so far out of hearing range, downstairs and at the other end of the house from the kitchen, that I never hear them beep, which apparently is a good thing, I think, after reading your post cause I never feel the need to jump at the beeps. The dishwasher gets emptied in the morning or just before dinner because it usually gets put through after dinner or after breakfast. I don’t know how that came to be but it appears to be working for me. At least there are a couple of things working for me. As far as husband help is concerned, I find that when he helps, I have to leave the room because he is so slow and inefficient that I want to do it myself. So that’s what we do. I make most of the dinners and he sometimes offers to clean up. But he is also a good cook when he feels like it so he sometimes makes dinner. I leave the room and offer to clean up when it’s all over. He a messy and disorganized cook who leaves everything out while I always tidy up and put away as I go. That’s when I bite my tongue. Or try to.

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    • Jenn, I like your floor plan wherein the washer and dryer aren’t calling to you. Once I hear ours beep I’m like a Pavlovian dog jumping into action. That’s on me, of course.

      Z-D cooks but he’s tidy about it, more so than I sometimes. I don’t know how I’d feel about a messy spouse taking over the kitchen. I understand why you bite your tongue, you have to let some issues go, especially if dinner is going to be delicious.

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  16. First let me say I dislike beeping machinery. All except for cooking timers which help me remember food before it turns to charcoal. My hubby’s favorite line is “do you need help” when I am balancing an armload of clothes from the dryer or trying to close a cabinet door with my foot while stirring something on the stove. I teeter on accepting what he does to help vs. fussing about what he does not do rather than what he does do. But there is balance. He does little meaningful things. (You probably would look good in blue. ❤️)

    🎶Is this where we blame their mothers?🎶

    I have not mastered giving up sugar so I am all about the sugary toppings piled on pleas for help.

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    • Maggie, I’m not a fan of the beeps that emanate from our machines, but they’re part of this brave new world so I accept them. I like your husband’s “do you need help” line. I’ve heard that too, in situations similar to the one you describe. “Oh no dear,” I would say sarcastically, “I’ll do everything while you mosey aimlessly around. Don’t let me stop you.”

      I’m still on Team Sugar so my pleas are like yours, but I just got thinking… 🤔

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  18. Wow, that is a lot of multitasking! Sometimes I think of my grandma and her wringer washer and hanging everything to dry, and then cooking on the stove on the farm and what that would be like, and here I am with my Roomba cleaning my floor for me and my dryer beeping that it’s done. While I look at Instagram photos of other people’s dinner and dogs. Kind of amazing, really.
    I’m impressed you are looking at an actual physical catalogue, and also, I would love to see that blue shirt.

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    • Nicole, I know what you mean. Our grandmothers used machines, but none as efficient or easy as the ones we have now. Those wringer washers scare me, truth be known, they looked like monsters to little me.

      We get physical catalogues even though occasionally we try to stop them. Some companies won’t take “No Thanks” and keep sending them. On the flip side, it is fun to hang out old-school style and look through them. I feel like it’s the 1990s all over again.

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      • OMG ALLY. That reminds me! My mom when she was a teen was at a boarding school and she and her two roommates were doing laundry with an electric wringer washer. They were probably 16, this was the 60s. Anyway, one of the roommates had that long, straight, sixties hair and IT GOT STUCK IN THE WRINGER WASHER. Which kept going, pulling her head closer and closer to the wringer…until one of them remembered, hey, we can unplug this! Imagine three sixteen year old girls just screaming as one of them has their hair stuck in a wringer washer. Good grief.

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        • Oh that’s awful! Getting your hair caught in one seems like it must have happened often enough to be a real threat. I can easily imagine sixteen year old girls screaming as it happened. In an odd way I feel vindicated that my childhood fear of those wringer washers was legit.

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  19. I’ve been letting go of sugar very, very reluctantly..so my answer to the question of the day is “pretty please with strawberries on top” — strawberries are apparently one of the few fruit options with lower sugar content 😀🍓🍓🍓

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  20. We have a unique division of labor ~ BFF does the laundry, cleaning, and most of the dishwashing & grocery shopping. I keep the books, plan & cook (most) meals, handle the taxes, and deal with correspondence. 😀

    *beep*

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    • Nancy, you’re organized more than we are. I like your division of labor but will admit that anything that rational might be beyond us here at Chez Bean. Still you inspire, as always.

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      • Quick question for you to ponder, Ms. Wordsmith.

        Why is it “a unique division of labor” but we add an “n” before “unusual” in the corresponding phrase “an unusual division of labor”?

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        • A guess is that it no longer matters which article you use, it’s more idiosyncratic now. Many of the rules I learned a million years ago no longer apply, so people write things like that however they want. 🤷‍♀️

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          • I did some digging to figure out why one sounded so much better to me than the other option. And he correct answer is . . . although the word “unique” begins with a vowel letter what really counts is that it begins with a consonant sound (yu), which is what determines between using the articles A or AN. So the rule to knowing whether to use A or AN is to go by the beginning sound of the word and not the letter.

            Another example that gets students confused sometimes is the word “hour”. It’s correct to say “an hour”. Even though the word begins with a consonant, its’ inicial sound is a vowel sound (ow). In contrast with “a horse.”

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            • Great research. I know this wasn’t taught to me when I was in school, but I like it. Makes sense, we just need to move beyond being obsessed with the actual first letter, lean into the sound. I can do this. Thanks for figuring this out.

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  21. Oh my. I think a lot of us are cut from this same kind of multi-layered cloth as you. I was impressed enough you had the corn bread and chili finishing up at the same time.

    If I’m in our master bathroom and endeavor to wash a load of towels, I walk from one end of our house to the other. On that walk I’ve been known to be be diverted by a dozen other tasks. It’s a wonder I ever make it to the laundry. room. As for appliance beeps, they’re all just a little bit different (and the washer & dryer sing a song instead) so I’ve learned to recognize them sight unseen. You should blog about your “family” of beeps.

    As for the Keto spin, how about “pretty peas (and carrots)?”

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    • Dave, I’m laughing here. Once upon a time we lived in a house where the bedrooms were on one end and the laundry room was on the complete opposite side. Like you, I’d get sidetracked every time. I hadn’t thought of that in years.

      We do have a family of beeps around here, then add on cell phones noises and it’s a cacophony. Which is odd for two quiet older people like us.

      “Pretty peas and carrots” makes sense. Not sugar, but still slightly sweet in a starchy way.

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  22. I tend to multitask when my husband is out of the house, mainly because it’s dangerous for him to be in my way when I’m vacuuming while washing clothes, tidying the kitchen, shopping online, and listening to an audiobook. And if he comes home while I’m doing my Tasmanian Devil impression, he quickly disappears. But, you know, he had to learn the hard way to get out of my way when I’m multitasking … lol. As far as “pretty please with sugar on top,” how about “pretty please with a glass of [favorite beverage]”?

    So … are you getting the light blue t-shirt?

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  23. That’s a lot of household stuff happening all at once. Roger and I have a routine. I hand wash the dishes; he dries them and puts them away. I put the load in the washing machine and then I put them in the dryer when ready. When the load is dry, Roger carries the basket of laundry to the bedroom where we unload the basket and fold everything. I vacuum the bedrooms. He vacuums the living room and dining room. We do a lot of team work here.

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    • Robin, you are inspiring. We share duties but in absolutely no organized way. I like how you’ve divided the tasks into doable bits. Maybe now that Mr. Man is [more or less] retired we’ll get it together in a smoother way… but I doubt it. We muddle through, that’s our theme.

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  24. It does sound familiar, but in a past tense. Since retiring we’ve learned to just ignore most of those annoyances. Being somewhat old fashioned, all of our appliances are the cheapest I could find. Not because I’m cheap mind you, but more because of the annoying beeps, bleeps and buzzing noises. Back in our work-a-day lives, it seemed important to have things around to remind of us tasks and schedules, but now . . . . not so much. For us, retirement is bliss. Good job Ally.

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    • Johnny, I take your point about the appliances. Ours are newer ones, more top of the line than bottom, and every stinking one of them makes a noise. It’s how they are now, I’m told. Considering Z-D is more or less recently retired, sort of, we still need reminders, but maybe someday not so much.

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  25. I have to multitask because it’s just me, myself, and I these days, but just between us, I find myself becoming easily distracted, and don’t get me started on me, who stares into space when it’s time to do chores!

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  26. Oh, the semi-help. I am sighing deeply with recognition. Over here, my husband would be HAPPY to help, but he’d want to know: what can I do? When to me, it seems fairly obvious! Just pick any task and DO IT. I’m not picky.

    I also saw this Instagram reel recently about “closing out” tasks, which resonated with me. The idea is that helping with a task is not actually relieving the other person of that task unless you do it all the way to completion. For instance, my husband often jumps to help with the dishes after dinner: he rinses, I place the dishes in the dishwasher. But then… he’s done. And the counters still need to be wiped and the salad spinner still needs to be rinsed and put away and my kid’s water bottle still needs to be fished out of her backpack and put in the dishwasher and the soap needs to be put in the dishwasher and the dishwasher needs to be turned on. So… he IS helping, and I appreciate it… but it would also be nice if he would CLOSE OUT the entire Cleaning Up After Dinner task. I don’t think I had words to articulate the “issue” until I saw that Insta reel (Instagram: changing lives!) but now I need to figure out if it’s worth talking to him about it.

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    • Suzanne, you said it: Just pick any task and DO IT. I’m not picky. I feel the same way, aren’t the chores obvious? Guess not

      I’ve not heard of the “closing out” concept but I GET IT. You’ve described exactly what happens around here. It’s half done if you ask me, yet Z-D would say he did something… like cleaning up the kitchen… but he didn’t clean the counters. There are always THE LAST DETAILS that for me means the task is all done, officially closed out. What a brilliant way to describe what happens– or doesn’t, I guess. Thank you

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  27. Ally, we both like to multitask…but we also recognize in those moments the other person may be looking for laser-sharp focus on just one task. That familiarity of our personalities has served us well over the years. It didn’t happen overnight, but we get that when stuff needs to get done we both might be in different places as to how to go about it. I always chuckle when I think of multitask in the business world, because for me that usually meant we know you can’t do it all well, but just do it all anyway lol.

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    • Bruce, I like your assessment of what ‘multitasking’ means in business jargon. I’m more inclined to be doing many things at once than Z-D is. He’s more deliberate focusing on one thing, while I get in [what Victoria described as] the Ally Zone. You’re right about understanding each other’s personalities if’n you want to get along. In this case Z-D was just being obnoxious on purpose, he’s so funny [he thinks]. 🙄

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  28. Snort! Yup, I’ve got one like that. Damn good thing we love them is all I can say. Still, if he can pick out of a catalogue an item which would suit you, that is quite the skill and not one all men can boast.

    As to the beeping machines – the bane of our lives… Add in the noise of reversing vehicles outside, and my cup runneth over.

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    • Deb, you’re right, love goes a long way to making it all ok. Z-D is good with design and colors, both when decorating the house and when choosing what to wear. Leafing through that catalogue plays into his strengths.

      I agree that beeping machines are the bane of life anymore. I include our cell phones making noise, too. No reversing vehicles here, though. You’re just lucky.

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  30. Pretty please with 80% dark chocolate on top!

    My husband always seems proud to announce that he has no idea how to use our washing machine or dishwasher.

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    • Bijoux, nice way of updating the “pretty please” saying. I can go with that.

      Z-D knows all about using the washing machine and dishwasher, but is immune to their siren beeps. He ignores them in a way I cannot do.

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  31. That is hilarious, Ally! As someone who is divorced, I’m not sure I’m qualified to comment. But I’ll say that the Gottman’s (the Love Institute researchers/therapists) say that laughing together is one of the keys to healthy relationships. I’m guessing you and Zen-Den are doing great. 🙂 ❤

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  32. Ha. I’ve been there. Coach tries to help, but some things I need to do myself. When I was sort of stuck in Milwaukee for b-ball right after our Ireland trip, Coach knew I was stressed because we were about to have college girl house guests. He asked what he could do. I asked him to wash all the bedding on the toddler cots and the pack and play cribs. He did that, sort of. He missed the two cots – one kid had peed in his nap on a cot and THAT was the motivation for the cleaning. It was fine, I used a tot sleeping bag for him while I washed the cot sheets. Also, Coach cannot handle it if I ask him to do more than one thing. It’s just easier to do things myself, usually.

    My kids total lack of help while they are the true mess makers is the thing that pushes me over the edge. Also, my washer and dryer are on the 2nd floor and sometimes I wish I could hear them when they finish, so I stand a chance of remembering. Oh, the wrinkles.

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    • Ernie, Coach sounds like as much trouble as the kids. Is he just a big one? 😉 I do understand how you can say specifically what you need done, then Mr. Man only does part of it. Selective hearing I reckon.

      We had the option of having the washer and dryer on the second floor, but didn’t go for it, even though it’s noisy with them on the first floor. I never liked having them in the basement so this is what we decided on. I do think we have fewer wrinkles because the dryer is so loud that we attend to the clothes quickly.

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  33. I’m amazed that you unload the dishwasher that quickly. I let everything cool off before I touch it. A bit of procrastination? 😉 That is a LOT going on! I wish I looked good in light blue. Royal and dark are much more flattering for me.

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    • Margaret, I only opened the door of the dishwasher to let the steam escape. I do the same thing as you, letting it all cool down before I unload it. We all know which colors look good on us. In royal blue I look half dead.

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  34. A couple of things come up for me: one, we are waaay too controlled by the whole go-go-go/hyper-productivity model of living, and two, according to my M, he doesn’t care if his clothes are wrinkled and the dishwasher can sit with the door open to air-dry. As far as he’s concerned, nurturing the chili is the important part. And the keto question? Not sure. I have kidney disease (well controlled) and am on an extremely weird diet (90% vegetarian but can’t eat potatoes, tomatoes, oranges, bananas or anything canned, and have to avoid numerous other things), so I would say that you should put a properly vetted paint chip on top. 😉

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    • Lynette, I agree with you about being too productive. I know it’s ingrained into me, and usually I can relax, but every once in a while I feel myself going into the Ally Zone and start doing all the things like the wind. We open the dishwasher after the cycle ends, then let them air dry after that. The trick, of course, is remembering to put them away eventually.

      I adore your idea that I could say: “pretty please with a paint chip on top.” That’s so in keeping with who I am.

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  35. Well first of all I turn off the beeps on the dryer. I am usually sitting right next to it because it and my office are both in the kitchen. The dishes also don’t need to come out immediately when they are done and we don’t have any buzzers on that. I like the playful way ZD helped you. Marital bliss for sure. Congrats on that. It is worth more than helping in the kitchen sometimes.

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    • Janet, you’re onto a good idea with your dryer. I’m not sure ours can be quiet. Our dishwasher has a beeper on it that is more subtle than the dryer, but it does beep in threes, like a deranged robot not to be forgotten. I agree with your last sentence. Playfulness keeps us young.

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  36. This would never happen to me because I am the annoying person who says you can’t do anything well if you’re multitasking, so I never do more than one thing at a time that takes concentration. I mean, sure, there have been times when the washer, stove, and Instant Pot all beep at the same time, but it’s extraordinarily rare. I’m just not a person who can focus on more than one thing at a time! I just go down my to-do list in a very linear way.

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    • NGS, my husband is more like you, doing one thing at a time until it’s completed enough for him to feel satisfied. And in truth I usually am not doing this many things at once, but I do like to have a couple of things going on simultaneously– unless it’s watching TV when I’m laser focused on the show.

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    • Judy, this does seem to be a situation that many people [usually women] can understand, have experienced it. Be specific and it gets done, assume it’s obvious what needs to be done… nothing. I like sugar, too– but had to ask.

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  38. All those things going on at the same time sounds normal to me… no? That’s how we efficient women roll! As for hubby, was he cruising for a bruising? All jokes aside… they can be funny folk can’t they? We do love them…. most times.
    Pretty please. Period. I would like to say we shouldn’t have to ask but who am I kidding?

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    • Jan, great comment. I don’t know the distinctions about those diets either. I just know some people don’t eat sugar so I needed to ask the question. Needed to, I tell ‘ya.

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  40. LOL – yes, I’m laughing at how it all sounds familiar, except I’m not in the process of picking paint colors. I adore the beeps on the appliances they remind me that I did start some other task that would be completed in the future. I’m spoiled because my Mr. does all of our cooking. I only beckon for his assistance to help make the bed after I wash and dry the sheets with the help of the appliance beeping. His assistance for bed making cuts the task’s time down considerably.
    As far as this question: I’m baffled by something. If you’re on a Keto diet and have given up on sugar do you say: pretty please with bacon on top? Or butter on top? Or suet on top? How do you rework that polite phrase so it has to mean for you? YES – pretty please with BUTTER OR BACON OR BOTH, I haven’t done suet, but the fattier the meat the better it is and butter makes everything better! Brown butter bites taste sweet and caramelly without the sugar. I seriously never crave sugar at all!

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    • Shelley, we started making the bed together a few years ago and you’re right it makes that task so much easier. Zen-Den cooks about half the time so that’s good too. I’m not keen on all the beeps but realize they keep me aware of what I’m doing so I try to accept them graciously.

      Okay, thank you for an answer to my question. I can now rest secure in the knowledge that I know how to say “pretty please” in Keto-talk. I’ve browned butter to use when I make chocolate chip cookies and I agree it enhances the flavor.

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  41. When I get out of the shower and dry myself off with a musty-smelling towel, I am so guilty of saying, “I will never ask for his help again.” But then I feel bad because he is helping. But why am I feeling bad? IT’S HIS HOUSE TOO. Sigh.

    I don’t know what you look like, but blue is always a good choice. 😘

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    • Kari, you explain the issue well. I know how you feel, you appreciate the effort, but maybe with a bit more attention to details.

      I like blue, too. It works on everyone as long as you get the right shade— and light blue looks good on me. He’s right.

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  42. Sounds exactly like some of the conversations that take place around here.

    During lockdown, I turned off the dryer chimes because they were making me crazy (this was back when I was washing clothes every day since we didn’t know how the virus was transmitted yet). The only downside? If the chimes aren’t on, the dryer won’t re-start itself to “fluff” the clothes if you can’t get to them immediately.

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    • Gigi, our dryer isn’t as kind as yours. There’s no fluff default cycle. When it’s finished drying clothes, it’s over, babycakes. I mean, I appreciate its insistence that I tend to it, but the darned this is noisy.

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  43. HA! I would definitely keep a man who gives good fashion advice even if he can’t multi-task. I had chili for supper too, trying to use up the last of the freezer meals before it’s too hot to eat that kind of hearty meal, no cornbread though. I use to love Land’s End but with the exchange rate it’s too expensive now to ship to Canada, same with LL Bean.

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    • Joni, Zen-Den is good with all things design, so his fashion advice was spot on– albeit not exactly the help I really needed in the moment. I didn’t know about Lands’ End and LL Bean being so much more expensive for you now. I’m sorry about that. I like clothes from both company because they are simple and last a long time. Plus I hear that LE has a nice light blue t-shirt this season. 😉

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      • Well I hope you follow his advice and order the blue t-shirt. I ordered a soft aqua blue hoodie yesterday. Both LE and LL Bean are good quality – I used to order LL Bean black pants all the time for work. It’s the Canadian-US exchange rate which at the moment adds an extra 30%, plus custom/shipping etc. Not worth it.

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        • I wouldn’t order from those companies either if I had to pay 30% more. Nice stuff, but…! I’ll get it together this weekend and order a few new spring-y things from LE.

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  44. Super duper cute. It’s nice having a funny hubby. I hate those times when everything needs attention all at once. I’m generally less kind about asking for help in those situations, so good for you. 🙂

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  45. I laughed at this because I have that happen all the time, things getting done at the same time, no matter when I started them. But as my husband works from home during the day and often longer than 8 hours, I usually end up trying to deal with all of them myself. I must add, though, that sometimes my husband will ask, “What can I do to help?” The answer to that depends on whether it will take me more time to explain what I need to have done or to do it myself or if it’s something he knows how to do the way I like it. 🙂

    Love your asterisked item too.

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    • Janet, I’m pleased that this made you smile. You’re right that sometimes no matter when you start things, everything happens at once in spite of your planning. It’s weird and with all these machines it can be noisy. I also agree about how sometimes explaining what help I need takes more effort than me just doing something myself. As for my “pretty please” quandary, I just had to ask. 😁

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    • Katie, I’m glad this made you smile. It was a brief moment in time, but a busy one. I know Z-D was trying to make me smile but he could have been a bit more useful, me thinks. 🤨

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  47. The scene around here is a lot different because I never multi-task. One thing at a time is my motto. He does help by drying the dishes sometimes but for the most part I am better off being left to my own devices. I don’t collaborate very well at all. 😉

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  50. LOL! That’s pretty funny.
    He-Man’s attention to detail around the inside of the house isn’t so great either, but he tries so he gets points for that. 😍

    I haven’t given up on sugar in my tea and doubt I ever will. I limit it everywhere else though.

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    • Deborah, I give Zen-Den points too for trying to be helpful, but in this case he was just being difficult on purpose. To make me snarl. I eat a little sugar here and there, but don’t especially crave the stuff like I did when I was younger.

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  51. Helping, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. My beloved spouse usually helps me in ways I don’t actually need help, and is rather blind to some of the ways I actually do need help. I’ve learned to be VERY specific when asking for his assistance! Because he means well, he really does.

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    • Ann, hear, hear! You said it. You’re onto something with the idea of being very specific. I’ve learned that, too, often over-explaining what the plan is so that he may follow along. Z-D means well, too.

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  52. Oh yeah. I did a bunch of yard work earlier in the week. Yesterday he’s out thinking HE’S cleaning up the duff under where the bird feeder hung all winter (done by yours truly, along with the duff on the path leading to there). Completely oblivious. “Didn’t I do it well enough?” “Oh, I wondered why it didn’t seem as messy as I expected.”🤦‍♀️ Pretty please with bacon works for me!

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    • Eilene, laughing at your line, “completely oblivious.” That sums it up. I suffer with that, too. How he cannot notice what happens around here is amazing to me. Got it about the bacon. I rather like that revision to the “pretty please” saying.

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  53. Thought-provoking story. My first thought being, “But then you’d have to wash and dry that new blue shirt.” A woman’s work is truly never done, as you have testified. Visiting from A to Z.

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    • mollyscanopy, ha! I so understand how you think. Of course, I’d have to wash that new shirt. Isn’t that a given? On the other hand, Mr. Man is right I would look good in that color. He really was just trying to be, and succeeding, in being a pest. 🙄

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  54. I read each and every comment. Did anyone else notice that Zen-Den did not comment like he often does? Decided silence was the best defense??
    I am quite fortunate that my other half and I share a lot of tasks. He opens the mail, I file it. I prep supper, he cooks it. He carries the laundry up and down and I wash it. He has never ironed and when he worked it was a bone of contention. He burnt himself once and never attempted it again… lame excuse hey. And for a guy who works with numbers he leaves all the financial stuff to me. Miss Dyslexic. I used to bribe him with sex to fix the check book (decades ago when all that financial stuff didn’t even have a spread sheet) but using a banking program makes the bribery a thing of the past. I actually did a post once called Green Work – grew out of a conversation with all the “young kids (doctors and nurses) that I worked with. Bernie

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    • Bernie, you’re the only one who has noticed how Z-D has been uncharacteristically reticent. 😉

      You have a good system going with your husband. We divide duties but not in an organized way like you, although Z-D is better at ironing than I am. You do all the financial stuff? Oh that’s one area that drives me bonkers, all those numbers taunting me to put them in the right place like willful children not behaving. Green Work is a great name for it.

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      • I also read the comments way later than most. But yes, he was absent – busy shopping for your blue shirt?
        As to the financials – yuck. So ready for him to retire and take it all over. 43 years is enough for someone who hates numbers. As to the rest of it- it has just kind of evolved.

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        • I understand. I like to read blog posts and the comments later rather than sooner. It’s intriguing to see what people say about things, which at this point might be the real reason I’m still blogging. I hope your husband retires soon so that you can be numerically free.

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  55. Our lives are so different, I sometimes have to snoop around a bit to find a hook to hang a comment on, but this time, I was stymied. I don’t have a husband, or a house to redecorate. The only thing that beeps around here is the microwave, should I decide to use it. I do have a grandmother clock that chimes on the quarter hour, but that’s pretty retro. As for Land’s End, I stopped buying from them when the quality of cloth in their tees and such took a dive.

    However: things are different now, only twenty-four hours later. No, I didn’t get a husband, but my washer quit working, and my apartment management provided a new one. Good gosh! Five water levels! Nine settings! And what’s the difference between ‘tap cold’ water and ‘cold’ water? I have no idea. It doesn’t beep, as far as I can tell, but when it goes into the spin cycle, the lid locks shut. I don’t know what I think about a washing machine that won’t let me in, but now I have one.

    I am going to have a talk with my slow cooker, and ask it why it doesn’t beep for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, for me one of the best things about blogging is learning about how differently people live their lives. I’m not looking for a carbon copy of me, I’m looking for insight into humanity. SO, thanks for commenting and sharing your reality here. I appreciate that.

      For what it’s worth I’d prefer to hear chimes, than beeps. Not that I’m running out to get a Grandmother Clock, but I’m just saying. Also I know what you mean about LE’s lack of quality in their t-shirts now. Why, oh why? [I know for profits, but I want to emote.]

      AH-HA about your new washing machine. Ours is newer and has about a hundred different setting possibilities [literally]. I have no idea what the difference would be between ‘tap cold’ water and ‘cold’ water. Being a pragmatist I wonder does it matter? Are the clothes clean? 😉

      And yes, by all means, find out why your slow cooker is beep-less. Ours is loud.

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  56. Well in my opinion, you could be singing “I am Woman, hear me roar” as you multi-task away. I think women are better at multitasking than men. I live by myself so what doesn’t get done I have only myself to blame, but I saw it with my parents – don’t bother asking for help, as you’ll only get a mumbled response with the mumbler usually remaining in place.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, “… in numbers to big to ignore…” as the song goes. I wonder if you’re right about women in general being better multitaskers than men. It sounds like it was the case with your parents. I know Z-D prefers to do one thing at a time, but can multitask when necessary. And I also know that in this situation by being useless he was trying to make me laugh. Which he did.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well for years “the man of the house” got a bum rap for just sitting in front of the TV and “the little woman” had to wait on him hand and foot and multitask in the process. Now young men bring more domestic duty experience to the relationship, having been living on their own, more so than the time frame for our parents. A fellow blogger told me she had three boys and insisted all of them learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. before going off to college, so they were not helpless.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, you’re right that there used to be a ’50s feel to marriages. I can guarantee you that’s never been the case with us. I’m about the 180º opposite of “the little woman.” When Z-D was in high school he took a yearlong class called Bachelor Living. He learned many life skills in it so he arrived in the marriage already primed to help.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Ha ha – I would not be a model “little woman” either. Do you remember a meme that circulates online every so often, originally published by “Good Housekeeping” magazine in the mid-50s on how to be a good wife? It is really funny and supposedly legit. That’s a great class – the guys at our high school took shop class and that’s about it.

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  57. Good on you for multitasking! But oh dear on Zen-Den’s helping response, 😋
    Love the idea of bacon on anything (except ice cream). 😋Though, I have had a doughnut with bacon mixed into it. That was during a visit to The Ohio State University. I can’t say I recommend it, though I probably would have eaten it with no problem when I was an undergraduate! 😋

    Liked by 1 person

    • L. Marie, thanks for you support. Z-D was being intentionally obtuse, but still he did get me to laugh– after I snarled of course.

      I’ve seen photos of doughnuts with bacon on them. It makes sense you’d find one around THE OSU. I agree that it does seem like food I’d have devoured when I was an undergraduate. Now? I don’t think so.

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  58. Haha show me a marriage where this doesn’t happen! 🤣 As best I can I’ve stopped trying to multitask cos I just can’t do it…I’m going with the mantra ‘it’ll get done or it won’t.’
    Currently I have 4 piles of washing waiting to go in the machine, two baskets waiting to be put away & a list as long as your arm of groceries I need to pick up…it’ll get done or it won’t, I’m sure the kids won’t mind living in PJ’s & I’m pretty certain there’s a tin of beans at the back of the cupboard 🤔

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    • Rae Cod, I like your mantra and can see the wisdom in it. Aside from paying bills on time, that’s applicable to just about everything. I’m not constantly multitasking, just sometime when I get into the zone. I agree that your kids will be okay in their pajamas and eating some beans. Life will go on just fine.

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  59. Giving up sugar. Pshaw. Never gonna happen.
    I should give up multi-tasking, though, ’cause I suck at it. Recently I was making a caramelized topping for a cheesecake while I was also emptying the dishwasher and, crucially, dancing and signing to one of my playlists. It’ll come as no surprise that the topping burned. It was the singing and dancing that killed me.

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  60. Our new(ish) kitchen appliances all play little tunes, the dishwasher in particular. We both still find it charming, I think. At one point the jingle for the dishwasher got canceled, and I spent about 30 minutes with the manual to learn how to put it back because we both missed it. I’m not proud of admitting any of this. 🙄 – Marty

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    • Marty, oh how I’ve missed your honesty! At one time I may have enjoyed all the beeps, but now I’m a jaded person who has heard enough. Of course I’m not motivated to figure out how to quiet the machines, I just mutter about them.

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  61. Oh, thanks for the chuckle, Ally Bean! I can definitely see that happening in my house.

    Our laundry room is upstairs and the machines don’t tell us when they’re done; they just stay quiet. Our microwave, on the other hand….beeps forever until we open it and take whatever is in there. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I’m glad it reminds me that I left something in there but I also hate it that it’s so bossy!!!

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    • M, we used to have quiet machines but then we bought some new *modern* ones and they are chatty. Our microwave is relatively quiet. One beep and that’s it. If you want hot food it’s up to you to remember, the microwave, like a honey badger, don’t care.

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  62. Goodness, why is life so very much like this? So many things going on at once. Funny his idea of helpful, though of course it was a joke. I hope he proceeded to unload the dishwasher or help fold clothes!

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    • J, he did do what you said: he folded clothes, he unloaded the dishwasher, he even served dinner once the cornbread was baked… although that wasn’t exactly a surprise, the man does like food!

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  64. That is really funny about what do keto folks say “pretty please with sugar on top”
    Well I never say that phrase – but if I did – I might say “pretty please with stevia on top”
    But even tho I use stevia in place of sugar – I don’t use too much of it because my food choices completely changed –
    -//
    And fun post, the light blue shirt ordered yet? Hahaha

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  65. Zen Den is hilarious, but you already knew this. I know it doesn’t sound like he HELPED you, but at least he wasn’t IN THE WAY, as some people can make even the simplest tasks into more work. Ya know?
    I do hope you got the blue top. 😉

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  66. I’m no longer married, Ally, so I have to multitask all by myself (cats are of no help except when they quit crying for food and stay out of my way). I try to pare down the multitasking in that if I’m cooking or baking, that’s all I do. When I clean, that’s pretty much all I do. I will make a meal or comment on your blog when the washer and dryer are doing their thing, but I try to keep it simple so that I don’t feel like I’m back at work, completing 1,000 tasks at a time.

    As for your husband, maybe you have to say “you will” instead of “pretty please.”

    I’ve cut back on sugar and try to eat organic and healthy, so I would say, “Pretty please with 80% dark chocolate or spinach on top.”

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    • Mary, I’m shocked [SHOCKED] to learn that your cats are no help when it comes to maintaining your home. I get what you’re saying about not multitasking because it’s too much like having a job, being at work. I know you’re right, yet I slip back into my work-y ways.

      Good idea about “you will” versus “pretty please” regardless of what I put on top of the request. Your idea of spinach made me laugh, btw.

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  67. Pingback: Originality – The Heart of the Matter

  68. I envy your multitasking. It’s just not in my DNA. I plug through one thing at a time. In truth, I use the back of old envelopes to make a list, then joyously scratch out what gets done.

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