What cabin fever + depression are to winter, house arrest + lethargy are to summer.
Too hot to move or think straight
However, intrepid middle-aged suburbanites that we are, on Sunday afternoon we managed to get up on our hind legs, voluntarily leaving our air-conditioned home to go for a walk in a popular township park.
A glorious sunny day
It was the sort of day that usually brings out everybody and their dog and their grandma, but instead of a hundred people at the park there were maybe 10. Too sweltering outside I suspect. Still the lack of people was a bit… disconcerting… odd… unexpected.
Not at all normal
Nonetheless we slowly meandered around the paved paths, free from human distraction, not needing to wear our masks obviously. And for posterity I snapped a few photos of the stunningly blue sky and the amazingly green grass.
IN THESE TIMES OF MONOTONY courtesy of the coronavirus & political blowhards & summer heat I continue my quest to provide thrilling blog content here. Thus I’m going to show you, my gentle readers, something so exciting I can barely contain myself.
YESTERDAY I RECEIVED THE ABOVE piece of snail mail that tells me I may enjoy life in the fast lane if I order Vinegar: The King of All Cures! by Jerry Baker, America’s No. 1 do-it-yourself expert. This book of vinegar magic costs $31.96, payable in 4 installments of only $7.99 each. According to Jerry if I buy this book I will: “Never be stuck, stumped, or stymied again!”
BELOW IS AN EXAMPLE OF the kind of magical advice featured in Jerry’s book. This glimpse into his book is quite the teaser, isn’t it? As Jerry, author and exclamation point freak, says: “No job’s too big, no job’s too small… Vinegar solves ’em all!”
JERRY ALSO INCLUDED A TESTIMONIAL in the form of a short story about how Peter and Katie, a lovely married couple, made their home smell fresh prior to Peter’s parents coming over for dinner. [Spoiler alert: It was a close call, but vinegar saved the day.]
AND WITH THAT I SHALL end this informative blog post in which I have confirmed we are still here, virus-free and healthy, while taking the opportunity to ask you the following important questions.
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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
What magic is keeping you going these days? 🤔
Are you a liberal, moderate, or conservative user of exclamation points? And why? 🤓
Wanna know a secret, my gentle readers? Yes? Well then lean in closer and I’ll tell you one.
When I chose SIMPLIFYas my word of the year I planned on taking this summer off from blogging. Just bug out completely. Detach entirely.
However plans change. Perhaps you, too, live in a state where you are still being asked to stay at home? Well, we do and we are.
This is the end of Week 13, by the way.
Now clearly I have the time to post to this blog, but summer [in the northern hemisphere] is when I’ve found that personal blogging slows down to a dribble. Plus I’m in a blogging rut, in the mood for a change, a simplification as it were.
Thus I’ve decided to adopt what I’m calling SUMMER HOURS. To wit:
I’ll be posting my usual flapdoodle and twaddle here every other week instead of weekly.
I’ll be posting mid-morning, probably on Tuesdays, thereby allowing me to have a relaxed morning in keeping with summer’s mellow vibe.
I’ll be commenting less frequently on your blogs, keeping up weekly with the cool kids who keep up with me.
And with that I wish y’all a groovy weekend and a happy summer. I’ll be here when I’m here.
After a lovely sunny weekend that suggested Summer was here, we’ve been inundated with rain. Constantly. The kind of rain that brings flash floods.
Spring is back and says *HA!* fooled you, sucker.
My gardening projects are on hold because I don’t do mud.
Plus I’m a mellow woman so I’ll get to weeding + planting + trimming in due time. It’s not like the flower beds are going anywhere. Even with the threat of flash floods I think our yard is safe. It won’t be washed away.
Thus instead of being outside in the garden I’ve been sitting inside our screened-in porch observing the weather, watching the gray sky above, noticing the monotony of falling rain. This has put me into a contemplative mood about these last few months.
The great pause, as many are calling it.
These long days during which many of us are not doing what we thought we would be doing this Spring.
I find it trippy to realize that everything in society is being transformed around me while I sit at home waiting to see how these changes will affect me and my relationships and my lifestyle.
On the one hand I feel completely insignificant. Passive, even. Just waiting, twiddling my thumbs.
However on the other hand I feel *hell to the yes* I’m doing something. I’m actively holding it together in the middle of a pandemic. I’m demonstrating a bit of grace + tact + cooperation while feeling wistful about, but not dwelling on, what was normal.
A normal we’ll never see again.
I accept that life is different now, but what I think it means for me, how I feel about it? Well, my feelings are all over the place while the hours pass and I muse a little more.
Waiting to get into the garden, and my life, again.
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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
How are you feeling about these last few months?
Do you find yourself going back and forth, up and down, hither and yon with your feelings?
AFTER TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY for three weeks to get wine in our weekly grocery order for curbside pickup, we finally got some wine in the house.
How did we do this, you ask?
We joined an online wine club wherein you pick from their selection of wines and your wine is then delivered, a few weeks later, to your doorstep. All that is required of you, beyond deciding which bottles of wine you want and having a valid credit card, is to have an adult sign for the wine when it is delivered to your doorstep at an assigned time.
I am an adult, with time on her hands, thus I was more than willing to sign for the wine. Which I did by standing in my jammies, shamelessly, on our front stoop a week ago Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m.
And by having gray frizzy hair.
The friendly UPS man sized me up from afar as he walked across the lawn carrying the box of wine. He didn’t bother having me physically sign for the wine, instead he scribbled something on the electronic form and went on his way.
That worked for me, buddy. No need to be uptight about the signing part of the blessed wine delivery. 😇
FUN WITH TYPOS
LAST TUESDAY NIGHT I opened the first bottle of the wine we ordered. We were having salmon and mashed potatoes and spinach, thus I reasoned a chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc would be lovely.
[Truthfully I almost always think a chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc would be lovely, but I digress.]
As I was sipping the first glass of wine to cross my lips in quite some time, I decided to read the back label on the bottle of wine. I like to know what I’m supposed to be tasting according to the vineyard. Plus I’m into marketing, so I do like well-written copy.
When I can find it.
And even when I can’t…
Below is a photograph of the back label on the bottle of wine. Can you see the typo? The numerical one that made me smile?
And with that I’ll end this post by telling you we enjoyed this bottle of wine. Perhaps it was because of all the effort it took to get it. Or, perhaps it was because it taught me a profound lesson: YOU CAN’T JUDGE A WINE BY ITS TYPO. 😉