“Monica, you’re all chaotic and twirly, but not in a good way.”
That’s a line from the TV show Friends. Zen-Den said it to me as he walked into the kitchen.
I was in the kitchen doing important things.
I’d just put some cornbread into the oven, chili was in the slow cooker, and on the counter was a new Lands’ End catalogue that I was leafing through looking for some spring-y clothes.
I had a Minwax color chart [36″ x 10″] spread across the kitchen table near the window waiting for the late afternoon sunshine to get over there so I could clearly see the three gazillion and two color choices. And the washer & dryer were doing their things in the laundry room adjacent to the kitchen. Also I was keeping an eye on the dishwash that was almost finished with a load.
I WAS MULTI-TASKING, people.
Well before I could say a word back to Mr. Hilarmoose, the dishwasher started beeping: “I’m ready for you to unload me now.” The dryer started beeping: “Hurry, hurry, don’t let these clothes get wrinkled.” And the washing machine finished its dramatic last spin beeping its end of cycle announcment: “now. Now. NOW.”
Plus for good measure the slow cooker, a bit of a hussy, chimed in with a slow seductive beep to tell me: “I’m finished cooking now and will be over here keeping dinner warm.”
“You look busy,” said Mr. Obvious.
“Yes. You could help,” said I as I opened the dishwasher door to let the steam out while dashing past him stopping momentarily to reposition the color chart into the sunshine on my way to rescue the clothes from the dryer.
“Pretty please with sugar on top,” I added because I’m a polite woman* who by then was struggling with the wet towels in the washing machine that didn’t want to go into the dryer without a fight.
SO WHAT DID HE DO? In what way did he help?
With a devilish smile and an ornery gleam in his eye he picked up the catalogue on the counter, moseyed over to the kitchen table where the light was better and said, “you’d look good in the light blue t-shirt.”
Which is true, but really? That’s helping?
And with that commentary, my friends, I’ll leave this tale of marital bliss– or what passes for it around here.
Any of this sound familiar to you?!! 🤨
* I’m baffled by something. If you’re on a Keto diet and have given up on sugar do you say: pretty please with bacon on top? Or butter on top? Or suet on top? How do you rework that polite phrase so it has meaning for you?