The One About Phonies And Alter Egos And Solving Problems, Maybe

/ Ally Bean / 239 Comments

I AM A REALIST. I am who I am regardless of where I am.

As such, being a naturally inquisitive person, I find people who are phonies, that is people who pretend to be someone they’re not, endlessly interesting.

Thought-provoking, in fact.

[E.g., Elizabeth Holmes or George Santos or Rachel Dolezal.]

They are my opposites and tweak my curiosity about the line between reality and fantasy, between harmless daydreaming and unhealthy delusion.

Allow me to explain.

Thinking back over my years of blogging I’m reminded of one blogger in particular who wrote her blog as if she wasn’t who she was. This wasn’t flash fiction nor was it catfishing, mind you, but saying upfront this is a fantasy of who I wish I was, a different personality, so I’ll write all my posts as this alternate version of me.

She lived in a small midwestern town but pretended she was living in a large southern city.  She thought of herself as a resident of that large city and she’d describe her days doing the same things she did now [working, shopping, dining] AS IF she lived there.

The thing was that for me after reading her posts I couldn’t decide if this phony persona was just kind of a fun thing, a light-hearted goof; OR if there was something seriously wrong in her life that prompted her to become someone else, albeit briefly.

In truth I was never sure how to comment on what she wrote, so I politely wandered away from her blog and I cannot even tell you if she’s still around.

I doubt it, though.

• • •

SO WHY AM I talking about this topic today?

Not because I idealize or hold any animosity toward this former blogger, but because of something I read a few months ago and have pondered on since. This something got me thinking and wondering– and reminded me of her.

Believe it or not.

What I read was advice written by someone who claimed to be a mental health therapist. This seemingly legit advice was about how to solve what may appear to you to be an intractable problem.

The advice suggested that you create an alter ego of yourself [not a super hero] that you use to contemplate your problem; an alter ego was defined simply as a different version of you. The advice said that by mentally running the details of your problem through your mind as your alter ego, you’d gain clarity.

Now I have problems, who doesn’t? And I do try to solve them, but never have I ever thought about creating an alter ego of myself, for any reason. I may be too pragmatic, or unimaginative, for such.

Or snarky. Perhaps I’m too snarky.

But I digress.

So tell me, kids, does the idea of creating an alter ego of yourself, something I’d describe as a phony version of yourself, seem like a way to gain real insight into your problems? Have you ever done this? And if so, how’d it go for you?

I’m curious to know what you think about this approach to solving problems. Do you feel it is sound or is it wackadoodle?

Please discuss below.

¡Ay, Caramba! 7 Random Things To Tell You On A Tuesday

/ Ally Bean / 208 Comments

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1. I am nuts.  I woke up thinking: we could change the name of Alexa to Annabelle. Where the heck did that ridiculous idea come from? It’s not like we use Alexa often enough that we need our own special name for her.

2. I am laughing.  I follow a few comic strips on Instagram [that I believe are also available on other social media]. The two comics that make me the happiest are: Foxes in Love AND Underpants and Overbites. Never say I don’t share the best with you, my bloggy friends.

3. I am delighted.  I read this interview with Diane Keaton and realized that her approach to life is inspiring. At 77 she exudes enthusiasm with a kind of determination to live in the moment, to not get bogged down, that rings true with me. She’s her own quirky person, doing her own thing… her way.

4. I am befuddled.  I bought the wrong marigolds. While shopping for annuals at the garden nursery I forgot how much I didn’t like the garish orange marigolds I bought last year– and then what did I do? I went on to repeat my mistake, buying the orange ones again instead of the groovy mellow yellow marigolds I prefer.

5. I am considering.  For years I’ve read about the value of creating a Commitment Inventory. You write down all that you’ve said that you’d do;  then you evaluate what you’re doing with your time and how to prioritize your commitments. I can’t decide if this is busy work for a free spirit like me– or might actually have some value.

6. I am drinking.  We watched a documentary Neat: The Story of Bourbon. It was compelling, informative, and features Steve Zahn as comic relief. Prompted by our newfound knowledge, we marched out to the liquor store and bought some Woodford Reserve Double Oaked to serve neat, of course.

7.  I am charmed.  I saw a bumpersticker on a car that said: Think about Honking if you like Conceptual Art. Just goes to show that there are some absurdly delightful people running around out there. God bless them one and all.

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So, what random things have you been up to, mi amigos? Tell all in the comments below, but for the love of Bart don’t overthink it!
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A Crack In Everything: Talking With A Friend About Aging Gracefully + Announcing A Change To My Blog Schedule

/ Ally Bean / 251 Comments

A WHILE BACK I WAS TALKING with a Friend about a decision she needed to make. Not a huge one, but a smaller annoying one that comes down to deciding who she is comfortable being now.

Friend, much to her consternation, has to alter her way of thinking about something.

While the details of Friend’s decision are specific to her particular situation, there’s a bigger picture to contemplate, especially as you get older.  And a little bit cracked by life.

As we all do.

~ • ~

HERE’S THE DEALIO: Friend is in her early 50s and has been running almost every day since she starred on her high school cross country team. As an adult she runs marathons, not ultramarathons or half marathons, but MARATHONS.

She’s very clear on this point.

Friend is known for, and is externally validated by, running marathons. She proudly & consistently defines herself as a marathoner, and up until this last year she’s ALWAYS been the fastest, or second fastest, in her age group.  She has ruled in every marathon she’s ever run, until now.

This does not please her.

Friend knows she’s getting slower, the numbers prove it, but she still wants to keep running because she likes to run. However from her point of view there’s a decision to be made, one that is more ego-based than anything else.

Should she:

A) Continue to run in marathons like she has her entire life while reluctantly accepting that there’s a good chance she’ll not be the best in her age group anymore which makes her sad?

OR

B) Start to run in half marathons, something she considers second-class to a *real* marathon, but wherein she believes she’d be the fastest in her age group which makes her happy?

~ • ~

I’LL TELL YOU FRIEND’S DECISION in the comments below so that you, my little sparks of joy, can take a few seconds to contemplate how you’d handle a situation that involves your ego struggling with itself to gracefully accept the fact that you’re aging.

That is, are you more inclined to lean into doing the same thing as always, but in what you’d describe as a less successful way? Or are you more inclined to do something new that you consider inferior, but do it in a brilliant way?

To put this quandary in a more chit-chatty pithy way: do you keep on keeping on [focus on perseverance] OR do you accept that life’s tough and get a helmet [focus on modification]?

• • ☀️ • •

PLEASE NOTE:

In order to allow more light to get into my life, The Spectacled Bean will be on SPRING/SUMMER HOURS until further notice.

I shall forget my perfect weekly offerings and instead post every couple of weeks, reply to comments here, and check-in with you on your blogs every so often.

Take it easy, everyone. Ring those bells!

Do good. Play nice. Be happy.

• • 😎 • •

The End Of The World? I Asked ChatGPT To Tell Me A Story (And I Feel Fine)

/ Ally Bean / 263 Comments

INTRODUCTION

Pride goeth before the fall, as my mother used to say.

To see what would happen I asked ChatGPT to tell me a story about a starfish, a kohlrabi, and a dragon. It did so quickly crafting a 338 word story. Then I went to pixabay to look for suitable free photos/images to enhance the story.

This little adventure in putting together a blog post took me [maybe] 15 minutes. In truth I spent most of that time searching through pixabay pictures and not waiting for AI to compose a story.

Admittedly as someone who writes a personal blog I’ve always known that I was optional, but I do take pride in doing my best here. Nonetheless with ChatGPT and its ilk creating good stories, maybe even better ones than what I write, I wonder if my optionality is just the first step to insignificance.

However, be that as it may or may not be, I invite you to read the following story and decide for yourself if there’s anything for me, for any blogger, for any writer, to worry about.

THE TALE OF THE OCEAN HEROES

Once upon a time, in a mythical land, there lived a starfish named Stella. Stella was a special starfish as she had the power to talk and communicate with other creatures in the sea. She loved to explore and make new friends.

Stella the starfish

One day, while she was exploring the seabed, she stumbled upon a strange-looking vegetable called kohlrabi. It was not something she had seen before, and she was curious to know more about it. Suddenly, she heard a loud roar, and when she looked up, she saw a dragon flying above her.

The dragon was not like any other dragon. It was small and cute, and its scales were a mix of pink and purple. The dragon landed on the seabed and introduced herself as Daisy. Stella and Daisy became instant friends and decided to explore the sea together.

Daisy the dragon

As they were swimming, they saw a group of fish swimming frantically, and they decided to investigate. The fish were caught in a fishing net, and they needed help. Stella and Daisy knew they had to act fast. They called out to all the sea creatures nearby, including kohlrabi, to help them rescue the fish.

With the kohlrabi’s sharp edges, they cut the fishing net and freed the fish. The sea creatures cheered, and they became friends. Stella, Daisy, and the kohlrabi decided to form a team to help other sea creatures in need. They called themselves “The Ocean Heroes.”

the kohlrabi

From that day on, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi went on many adventures together, helping other sea creatures in need. They even helped a lost turtle find its way back home. The Ocean Heroes became well known and loved in the sea, and their friendship and courage inspired many other sea creatures.

And so, Stella the starfish, Daisy the dragon, and the kohlrabi formed an unbreakable bond of friendship, proving that no matter how different we may seem, we can achieve great things when we work together.

MY OPINION & REVIEW OF THE STORY 

As you can see ChatGPT wrote a sweet short story. It made me smile and gave me all the warm feels. I suspect that was the point. Even as an adult I recognize that I want to be Stella the starfish. She’s curious, friendly, proactive, and courageous.

A definite role model.

And Daisy the dragon? Beyond being cute she’s a confident bff who helps solve problems. I like her, too.

My only qualm with this story is why didn’t ChatGPT give the kohlrabi a name, like Kenneth the kohlrabi? That seems short-sighted to me.

It’s as if ChatGPT is lacking in understanding about human relationships, unaware that humans tend to name every *person* in a story so that humans might more easily intuitively grasp the message of the story.

But then, what do I know?

I’m just a human.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What do you think of the story? Do you want to be Stella the starfish when you grow up?

Could you write a better story? And if so, how long would it take you to write and edit it? Then create artwork for it?

Are you concerned about Artificial Intelligence creeping into the world of writers and displacing humans?

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