THE SPECTACLED BEAN

Yes, Deer Eat Pansies, Thanks For Asking

Would you like to know what the all-time most viewed post is on this blog? Bet you won’t guess…

Is it about the sadness I felt after talking with a former neighbor for the last time? Read about it HERE.

Is it about the giddy feeling I felt when I realized we’d accidentally stolen something with no way of returning it? Read about it HERE.

Is it about the pride I take in my positive approach to social media that does not include following people who I dislike? Read about it HERE.

No. No. Nope.

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The most viewed post on this blog is: The Deer Ate My Pansies

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It’s viewed almost year round because deer and pansies live in both hemispheres, thus this post is popular in both the spring and the autumn wherever you might live.

Who’d of thunk it?

And while I’m asking rhetorical questions, would you like to know why I was thinking about my most viewed post?

Of course you would.

Last week I listened to a webinar called Work Smarter Not Harder: How To Dominate 2019 with Reuseable Content! From it I learned that it’s important to figure out what is your most viewed post & then reuse it [somehow] to get more eyeballs looking at your blog.

Soooo that’s what I’m doing today. Repurposing old content like a social media guru, sort of. Wondering if this idea will work on a personal blog, even kind of sort of.

Yep, I am your personal blogging dominatrix reusing that which is, to engage with &/or command influence over those readers who find this blog and read this post, ostensibly about deer and pansies.

Discuss.

Last Week Was Ridiculous, Therefore I Shall Whine About It Here

INTRODUCTION

Doorbell *after* being shown who is boss.

Last week was a troublesome one for me. It was rascally and I got scattered and I lost focus on my one word of the year, streamlined.

I had dreams of getting it together last week, doing the things on my to-do list in a smooth and centered way like the organized lady of the list I long to be. But the Universe scoffed and instead, beleaguered by annoying things, I was distracted me from my true purpose.

THE WHINING PART

Nothing bad happened, only small RIDICULOUS annoying things happened that began to slow me down and wear on my very last nerve. Here is a list of those annoying things:

• tornado warning with winds gusting to 60 mph that took down a piece of our house’s gutter;

• smoke detector battery went chirpy during the day when I was here by myself, without anyone to spot me to climb on a ladder to change the battery, so the smoke detector sang all stinking day;

• the water department turned off the water to this subdivision because of a nearby traffic accident, thus in one day our water was off for 6 hours, on for 2 hours, then off again for 4 hours;

• landscape crew arrived without advance warning to do spring cleanup, then piled mulch in such a way as to trap my car inside the garage;

• laundry service lost one of Z-D’s shirts and told me such when the delivery man came to the front door, handed me the laundered unlost shirts and asked me if I could tell him which shirt was missing… as if I pay any attention to Z-D’s extensive collection of mostly white or pale blue button-down Oxford cloth dress shirts; and finally

• doorbell got stuck on meaning that the button, after being pushed in, connected with the bell box that rang its melodious ding, then the bell box started to buzz… loudly and ceaselessly… until I got a screwdriver and dismantled the doorbell separating the wires to make the stupid thing be quiet.

AND IN CONCLUSION

Pretty hot pink geranium harbinger of better days.

At this point, if I were an inspirational sort of blogger, I’d share with you a pithy lesson, succinctly put, so that you might learn from my experiences too and say to yourselves: what a wise Bean is Ally for sharing her troubles here and showing us, through her example, how to live better lives.

However, I’ve no such conclusion to this post.

Other than to say, I guess, it’s rather empowering to acknowledge setbacks, complain about them, then get over your sorry self while you carry on with another week as if you’ve got it all together.

We’ll see about that. Won’t we?

Three Thoughts Thursday | Laughing. Drinking. Watching.

This is when I tell you stuff and don’t make a story of it.

• • •

ONE

I think that Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund is hilarious.

When I came upon Crusoe and his brother, Oakley Dokley, I was in puppy dog heaven. Their YouTube channel, currently featuring their interpretation of Game of Thrones [#GameofBones], is clever and creative and verifiably wacko.

Highly recommended if you’re having a down day or just like to see little dogs in costumes.

TWO

I think that Stella Artois Spritzer is good and I’m surprised.

It’s a light refreshing alcoholic beverage that is a new take on the old concept of a white wine spritzer. That is, it’s pub cider with carbonated water. Available in a slim can and described as a blend of apple and hibiscus flavors, we found it refreshing, not too sweet.

I’m sensing this is our house drink for the summer.

THREE

I think that The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is a delightful movie based on the novel of the same name.

I watched this movie one lazy afternoon and enjoyed it, not because I was being lazy but because I truly enjoyed the book when I read it and wanted to see the movie. I won’t address how the book differs from the movie, but will tell you I thought it was worth the time I invested in watching the movie.

Not all movies need be blockbusters, right?

• • •

Questions of the Day

Don’t you wish you were as clever as some of these people who can turn their pets into YouTube and IG stars? Got a suggestion for a summer drink? Do you have issues with movie adaptations of books?

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Morphing Into A Southern Lady, Finding My True Self

Have you ever thought [or said] something that made you say to yourself: now where the heck did that come from?

BE MINDFUL AND PAY ATTENTION to your thoughts, they say. Tune into yourself, they advise. Be cognizant of what you’re thinking about, they encourage.

Then you’ll know your true self, they claim.

Well apparently, if we agree with the basic premise of the foregoing, I’m morphing into a southern lady. Here are three real life examples from last week in which I paid attention to what I was thinking while the person in front of me babbled on.

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#1 – The cashier at the drug store went on a small rant when I gave her cash for payment for my purchase. She immediately started talking about pennies, specifically her dislike of them, and how recently our county tax rate had changed, making her job more difficult because [somehow] the new tax rate made more work for her when she had to make change… so she was going to get a petition going to change the tax rate back to what it’d been before.

My thought: THAT DOG WON’T HUNT

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#2 – The receptionist at the doctor’s office told me in a wordy girlfriend-to-girlfriend way that she was not happy about the newly remodeled waiting room because she could no longer see the TV on the wall in the waiting room without getting up from her seat and walking into the room itself, instead of sitting behind the reception counter… doing her work… presumably.

My thought: SHE’S YOUNG

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#3 – An acquaintance, known for being a drama llama, told me with tears in her eyes about her latest troubles that stemmed from being asked to do too much in too short of time for her to feel in control of her project. Yes, she was sure the system was actively working against her… until she double-checked her text message and realized that she was getting twice the amount of time she needed to do her thing.

My thought: WELL BLESS YOUR HEART

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UNTIL LAST WEEK I DIDN’T realize that underneath this midwestern nice exterior lurked a southern lady waiting to summarize the scene in front her with pointed polite colloquialisms that ooze passive-aggressive charm.

Well tie me up and call me Loretta*, it’s like I’ve found my true self, y’all.

I suppose it’s a matter of time before I start saying these things out loud, but with a midwestern accent that may negate their impact. This will in no way make me less happy, because I can’t stop the people from babbling but I can have fun with it in my way.

What do you say to yourself when people drone on and on about topics you don’t care about? Are you a southern lady, too? Spill the beans in the comments below.

* Gold star to anyone who knows where that Southern saying came from!

In Which I Sneeze The Day Because My Allergies Don’t Go Away

Grumpy bird is grumpy.

I understand how he feels. April is difficult for me, too, Mr. Bird. I’m allergic to the pollen and mold that is everywhere outside this month. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.

Not a fan of this month. Don’t sign me up to be on Team April.

There’s nothing for me to do except ~~complain~~ take allergy meds that make me drowsy and wait for the rain to clear the pollen and mold from the air.

I mean I’m out and about living my life because I’m a conscientious woman who said she’d do the things. But I’m doing the things with tissues in pocket, eye drops in handbag, forced pleasant attitude on display.

As if I think April is dandy.

QuestionS of the Day

What’s happening where you live? Are you sneezing and wheezing? Or are you happy and healthy, unbothered by pollen and mold? Tell me your deal, ok?

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Just The Facts: The Results Of My ‘How Am I Doing?’ Survey

Thanks to everyone who took my How Am I Doing? survey [now closed].

You’re the best and overwhelmed me with your kind answers. I wasn’t fishing for compliments with this survey; I was challenging myself to see if I could write one. Then on a whim I decided to share it here for the fun of it.

At one point in my life I worked in marketing research so I’m familiar with the process of collecting data from respondents. Below I’ve categorized it into three parts.

I also know that once you collect the data, interpretation is a whole ‘nother thing. Spin it the way you want. So with that in mind, and me being me, I’m spinning this funny, because honestly some of your answers were a hoot.

• • •

PART 1

What I learned about you:

90% of you write a blog
50% of you like to goof off on social media in the blogosphere; followed by YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
60% of you were very likely to recommend this blog to friends and family
90% of you thought the survey was cool beans

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PART 2

How you answered two specific questions regarding this blog:

These responses were straightforward and clear to interpret. No further explanation required.

This is where things got complicated because over half of you used “Other” when responding to the question. Some of you said that there was nothing you disliked so you were using “Other” to tell me this. Some of you who clicked on “Other” made suggestions about my writing style and graphic design. And one respondent said that using “Other” was the only way to show that all the choices were applicable to this blog.

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PART 3

Here are some of your responses when asked what comes to mind when you think about this blog:

Ohio
A red kidney bean dressed like Elton John
Ooh, what will Ally Bean say today?
Engaging, enjoyable blog. Funny without trying too hard.
oh, shit, I haven’t read that spectacled blog in awhile. I better go catch up!
Beans 🙂
Lovely variety of slice of life topics.
A string bean wearing glasses. But also humorous posts and genuine connection with others.
My bloggy friend for years now
Flapdoodle

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In Honor Of St. Isidore Of Seville, Linky Love For Eggheads Intent On Self-Improvement

TODAY IS THE FEAST DAY of St. Isidore of Seville. Sometimes referred to as the last scholar of the ancient world, he lived from 560 to 636 in Spain and was an Archbishop in his day. [More here]

He is the Patron Saint of Electronics and the Internet, having been named such by the Roman Catholic Church in 1999. [More here]

Today the Order of Saint Isidore of Seville works toward Christian chivalry on the internet. Their motto in Latin is Bono Vince Malum which in English means: “Overcome Evil with Good.”

SO WITH THE FOREGOING IN mind I’m typing away like a good little blogger this morning, one who’d like to share with you the following good articles that I’ve been thinking about this past week.

I’m conscious of what I allow to fill my brain, knowing that for me it’s easy to get lost in the sauce [emotion] of what I’m reading. Thus I tend to restrict my casual online reading away from hate and vitriol toward what I call good psychology.

Below are links to five articles, with a bit of commentary provided by moi. ‘Cause this is a personal blog and that’s what I’m supposed to do. Babble a bit, share a bit, provide joy & insight to my readers.

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Are you an evil genius? How dishonesty can make you more creative

[well, there’s a truth to this]

The Surprising Benefits of Creating a ‘Failure Resume’

[did this, somehow don’t feel better about myself]

Don’t Know What To Do With Your Life? This Exercise Can Make Things Clear

[good idea, I need a manifesto]

Most Personality Quizzes Are Junk Science. Take One That Isn’t.

[quickly confirms that I know who I am]

Why A “Complaint Cleanse” May Be Exactly What You Need For A Happier Week

[clever idea that makes sense to me]

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