Discussing The Impact Of An Audience + Sharing My Summer Blogging Schedule

/ Ally Bean

The Impact Of An Audience

a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing

AFTER I READ WHAT I read, I couldn’t stop thinking about the advice that many people found inspirational. Considering I had worked in a world where “know your audience” was the mantra, what I read seemed off-base.

Yet being open-minded I got thinking about it. Oddly enough it seemed like good advice and bad advice in one paradoxical statement. So in an attempt to get to the heart of what this advice meant I talked with a few friends about it.

We couldn’t agree about what to make of it.

So what, you might be asking yourself, did I read that lead to pondering and *perhaps* profundity? I read this brief article entitled: Amanda, There Is No Audience.

The title IS the simple advice that may or may not make sense to you depending on your personality and/or your idea of community. You might like or not like the advice depending on the context and/or who is saying it to you.

There are variables.

As best I can figure, and I’m sure you will tell me if I am wrong, the advice is saying that in order to not second-guess yourself, which is a positive thing, you have to not care about what other people think about you and your choices.

There’s a truth to that.

Don’t give your power away to just anyone or anything.

But how you use your own power seems to divide people in a philosophical way that reveals how you think about the people around you and any influence they may, or may not, have on you.

Anyhoo the issue, simplified, comes down to how the advice resonates with you:

• Do you, like Amanda, find this advice inspiring because by denying you have an audience you’re free from judgment and this allows you to do what you want to do unhindered? You are alone.

OR

• Do you find this advice unrealistic because to think no one is watching you is delusional, but in spite of that by ignoring what the audience suggests you are productive? You are indifferent.

Thoughts, anyone?

My Summer Blogging Schedule 

image via pagesbyleanne

LIGHT is my guiding word this year.

Thus in order to allow more light into my life, The Spectacled Bean will be on SPRING/SUMMER HOURS until further notice.

I’ll post here every couple of weeks, reply to comments, and check-in with you on your blogs every so often because I try to keep up with you, my bloggy friends.

Take it easy, everyone. Let the light shine on you.

Do good. Play nice. Be happy.

• • 😎 • •

184 thoughts on “Discussing The Impact Of An Audience + Sharing My Summer Blogging Schedule”

  1. Hmmm… I can see why this simple phrase could cause much of a divide. There IS always someone watching, whether we like it or not. However, the importance we give to said audience depends on us. If whatever we are doing is not hurting anyone in the least, then the whole “it doesn’t matter what others think” should come into play. I think many of us work on being our true selves and letting others in to modify our path to said enlightenment can hinder (or slow us down) at best, and destroy, at worst.

    Good on ya for taking on your summer hours. Enjoy! (No judgment 😉 )

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dale, the thing about this advice is that you can interpret it in many ways, and they’re all right, depending on where you are in life. I feel like someone is always watching but like you said we: “…work on being our true selves and letting others in to modify our path to said enlightenment can hinder…” Whose to dictate what we do.

      I need to shift to summer hours. Too much to do outside around the house. Plus doing nothing on the deck seems in order. 😎

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  2. Everyone is watching all the time. Simultaneously no one is paying attention . I think we focus on what is unusual to us individually, and unfortunately judge it as being not our thing. I think we gloss over things that could be considered good in order to hyper focus on the not so good. Does that make sense?

    Liked by 1 person

    • LA, exactly. People watch but don’t really care about what you do until you do something that bugs them, then suddenly you have an audience. I agree you have to focus on what is good for you, forget about the rest… which can be difficult.

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  3. That much thinking made my head hurt. I think there is an age factor too. The older I get the less I care about an audience. It’s more important when you are young and climbing the ladder to success. Now success is definitely in my head and not driven by others. Happy summer. Hopefully by the time you get back semi-full time, my bath project will be done!

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    • Kate, I hadn’t thought about the age angle. I think you’re right in that at certain times in your life you are dependent on pleasing the audience, but then you age out of it. I don’t need external validation at this point either, but I’m aware there is an audience out there.

      I’ll still be posting every so often here, and I’ll be reading along as you conquer your bath project! I wouldn’t want to miss the details of that.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My first issue is with the very term ‘audience.’ It suggests that as blogger, worker, friend, or whatever, I’m a ‘performer.’ That frame of mind can lead to obsession with things like ‘likes’ on social media and blog stats. Generally speaking, I only worry about doing my best, whether I’m varnishing or writing — or trying to remember things like friends’ birthdays. Heck — I’m one who punctuates texts properly. Recipients (the ‘audience’) may not care, but I do: and that’s what counts.

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    • Yep, Linda, you hit on one of the reasons why this advice can be annoying. I, like you, do not perform so I am not on a stage with an audience. From that perspective I lean into the “You are alone” interpretation of the advice. I do my best and then wait to see what life hands me next.

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  6. I think that people are too busy with their own lives to pay much attention to what others are doing, wearing, saying. So for me this tweet/ quote is liberating.

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  7. “Know your audience” was the first advice I read when I began blogging. In my technical blog, I tried to follow that advice, but I found too many people who liked to argue or show the rest of my audience that they knew more than me. Probably true, but I was willing to make the effort.

    In my personal blog, I decided to let the audience get to know me. I’d write and grow an audience organically…maybe. I see people follow me when I post on a subject, then disappear when they realize I don’t write on that subject everyday. That’s OK. I also tend to follow mostly random bloggers. I like people. I certainly can’t define them by their willingness to read my blog.

    I hope you have a wonderful summer!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan, I worked in sales and marketing and it was ALL ABOUT knowing what people wanted then providing it. I can imagine how your technical blog drew know-it-alls who were there to show you up. That’d be tedious.

      I agree with you about how in personal blogging you have to organically grow an audience, a group of bloggy friends. I’m like you, I read + comment on a random assortment of blogs, because I’m interested but never demand reciprocity. I also get how someone will show up and be all into you when you write on a specific topic, then you’ll never hear from them again. Somehow I don’t think they’re ever going to be part of my audience.

      My summer will be lovely. I’ll blog some, I’ll goof off some, I’ll lollygag on the deck.

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  8. I agree with wakinguponthewrongsideof that no one is really paying attention even if they seem to be watching. We are simultaneously offering up ourselves to the public in so many ways, but the real connections and attention are seriously lacking.
    Additionally, so many people are walking like zombies through their lives connected to their electronic devices, they aren’t really watching anyone else, or even the traffic that’s about to run them down.
    Should we care if there’s an audience? Only if those watching are kind and truly connected. If not, who cares what they think. That from my own position of age. When I hear a younger person say “what will people think?” especially when they’ve hit a hard patch. I tell them that whatever happens, the kind people will genuinely care, as for the others, they are not worth the worry, especially if you can’t name those somebodies by name!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dorothy, I agree that people walk through life more focused on their screens and the people they see there, than being aware of the people who are in reality in front of them. Therefore there’s no true connection and as such you can’t call these people your audience. Hence the advice to Amanda.

      I don’t know the last time I wondered “what will people think?” and that realization makes me happy. I lean into the idea that the actions of kind people will show you they care, and the rest of ’em… forget about!

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  9. The audience is Schrödinger’s cat. It both does and doesn’t exist. There was a time in my blogging history that I wrote as though there was no audience. It’s what I needed at the time. The only way I could do what I needed to do was to write what I needed to say without big worries about what others were thinking. Of course, I’ve never written for a large audience and as I’ve noted before, a large audience freaks me out. To process the things I was processing the audience had to stay in the box.

    I’ve got to say, I’m glad that stage didn’t last that long. You know that over in my world we’ve been talking about our little community as a village. I need that village now. The audience is out of the box. I do consider what I write and I try not to intentionally hurt anyone but I’m also pretty honest about my feelings. I have to be. My acknowledgement of the audience makes me both be honest and also to acknowledge that some won’t want to be a part of that and to be okay with that.

    Have a lovely summer Ally. Enjoy the light. Have a nice cold brewed coffee. Be chill.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zazzy, yes! You’re right that the audience is Schrödinger’s cat. That’s a brilliant analogy and easily understood. I think that’s what intrigued me in the first place about the advice but I hadn’t been able to put it into words.

      I understand what you’re saying about how you and your blog have evolved. You did/wrote what you needed to in order to make sense of your life at the time, but now you’re at a different stage.

      I enjoy the idea of bloggy friends being a village, meaning that there is an audience but a supportive one, not a judgmental one. The advice given to Amanda seems to be predicated on the idea that she was being judged by her audience and therefore feeling insecure. No audience, more secure.

      Liked by 1 person

          • Which is something I really like about the group that reads here. I don’t see people being confrontational just to be confrontational. It seems most of us just want to have a confrontation and we enjoy the different thoughts.

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            • I agree about my gentle readers and kind lurkers. It’s rare for anyone to get so worked up about what I write here that they need to shout about it. Usually if someone doesn’t like what I’ve said, or how I said it, they’ll leave a passive-aggressive comment about how they could write about this better. I invite them to do so. 🙄

              Liked by 1 person

              • btw, that last “confrontation” was conversation. They are really similar words…
                I am not sure I’ve ever read a passive aggressive comment on your blog, but I don’t read them all.

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                • It’s been a while, but a few years ago some guy showed up criticizing my research on a couple of posts. He went into detail about how I didn’t have original sources. I agreed that I didn’t have them because this was a PERSONAL BLOG not a research paper. Then I invited him to do the research, post it on his blog, and I’d link to it. Funny thing… he never got back to me! 🙄

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                  • I enjoyed reading your conversation with Zazzy, and I agree that she is spot-on with the audience being Schrödinger’s cat. Also, the whole village analogy is one that I love. I’m not here to compete or confront, just to converse. Plenty competing and confronting going on in the rest of the world.

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  10. Can you be both based on the situation and who the audience is at the time? I can be indifferent as needed but I can also stand alone when I want my position and actions to stand. When my conviction (ie: my gut) knows there is no other choice. Do we have to choose sides…or is my choice to be flexible simply my denial? I think a question without an answer overall 🙂

    Happy spring/summer Ally Bean!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Deb, yes I take your point. I admit that there are many variables that can influence how you interpret this advice therefore you come to a different answer each time you apply it to yourself. I have no concrete answer to your question about what constitutes denial.

      I do think that Willy Shake’s “To thine self be true” quote is clearer as a piece of life advice. You do you first regardless of whether you think an audience exists or not.

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  11. I’ll take a stab at it. We know that in today’s world there is always an audience. Even when grocery shopping, people tend to notice what others are doing & if something is amiss, they whip out their phones to record it. But, I like the Amanda phrase. I can see me speaking to myself as if “you got this,” reminding myself that I need to make decisions that I know to be right. Not to be influenced by those people out there. But, use my moral compass, or my sense of self, or my internal whatever to do what needs to be done. And not look for accolades from an audience for doing what my gut tells me that I should.

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    • Gwen, hear, hear! I like your idea of using the Amanda advice in conjunction with “you got this” which is wonderful self-talk. I know I’m aware of people who may be my audience, but like you I’m not necessarily influenced by them… unless what they say makes sense to me in a moral or pragmatic way. As for applause, I couldn’t handle too much of it for doing the right thing! That’d make me feel self-conscious.

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  12. I’m with those who’ve commented – thinking about the impact of age, developmentally – where folks are in life. Those that are hyper-focused on gaining followers on any social platform will have a skewed idea of ‘audience’ as seekers. I agree with you, Ally – deeply philosophical and we’ve all got a vantage point from which to consider the question. The older I get, the more I agree. Most often (sadly) no one’s watching unless they’ve got a vested interest in judging, LOL! 😉
    And…happy summer right back at ya! xo! 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vicki, good point about how some people have a skewed idea about what an audience is, or isn’t. I’d guess that anyone who is attempting to be an “influencer” [a term I despise] would be invested in a definition of an audience as seekers who are ready to judge you.

      At my point in life I don’t care if there is an audience, nor do I care if there is one if they like what I do, but Amanda seems younger than I. And perhaps needed to hear this advice in a way that resonated with her. 🤷‍♀️

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  13. In motion pictures, it was always, “know your audience.” And that audience was supposedly 14 year-old-boys and that’s why there were so many car crashes and explosions. The TV audience, on the other hand, skewed toward women. That philosophy is losing ground, despite white, male movie execs hanging onto it for dear life, but it was all probably BS to begin with–as BARBIE made clear. Sometimes movies and TV shows never find their audiences (FIREFLY, when Fox refused to market it and ran it out of order) and sometimes it was the perfect example of never having an audience (so many pet projects of powerful actors, like Travolta’s BATTLEFIELD EARTH). I think there’s always a potential audience, but the question is: how much time and effort do you want to spend writing for them and finding them (and their hypothetical likes or dislikes)?

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    • Autumn, I’m not a movie person and more of a TV person, so I may be proving the old adage true in light of Hollywood reasoning. Loved Firefly, btw. It seems to me that if you’re going to succeed by writing for your perceived audience, then you really are giving a lot of your power away to a demographic. I don’t know enough about Amanda to know if her job revolved around charming a specific audience or if this advice was more general, like a way to live your life with less angst.

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      • I think feedback can be very helpful in determining if you are actually succeeding in reaching your audience, but I think you can’t please everyone. So work on your craft and tell your story and maybe you get really lucky and it hits people just right.

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  14. How can we not care about what others think? Doesn’t that make us sociopaths or something a degree or two less scary? I think the trick is to take it all in—the advice, etc., etc.,—and measure it against our own set of values, editing and pruning what makes sense and what doesn’t as we go. We don’t live in vacuums.

    Enjoy your summer!

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    • Jean, you raise an excellent point. My first thought when I read the advice was to say something similar, no one is an island unto themself. I have to wonder if being open-minded, taking it all in, then having the confidence to do your own thing is really the heart of the issue. The advice may be more of a shorthand way for people filled with self-doubt to keep going, rather than an invitation to be a sociopath. But who knows?

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  15. Ally, when I first read those words, there is no audience, my first is YES! I’ve said for years, to whomever asks and every now and then unsolicitedly, I write (and speak) for myself, and if someone else gets enjoyment from reading or listening to me, I’ve done more than expected. I think a lot of the comments assume something that only shoreacre actually put in writing. To assume there is an audience, we are placing ourselves into the role of performer. I don’t write performance. I’m not that good. I write my life. Even when I’m speaking, it’s my story. I’ll feed on the energy in the room or starve from the lack of it, but the words must be mine not what I expect someone wants to hear. (Apologies for the wordiness)
    Enjoy the summer!

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    • Michael, I agree with you. I don’t think of anything I do as a performance therefore the idea of an audience seems weird, even if it was the mantra of my workplace years ago. But from what I can tell many people believe they have an audience and it is then up to those people to decide if they’ll heed what the audience says they should do or not. Therein was why Amanda needed to hear that there wasn’t an audience, so she’d confidently do her own thing.

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  16. As a person who doesn’t usually give a hoot what others think, I have learned that in some circumstances it is necessary to think before you speak. Of course, I learned that the hard way as do most people! Have a great summer.

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  17. I think my beliefs fall more closely in line with Amanda. I’m alone, until I’m not. I’ve been blogging for 14 years and didn’t have any readers for the middle 9 years. People come and go, but I’ll always be my own target audience. I’m grateful for the company, but others have absolutely no bearing. If feels like a freedom from judgement more so than indifference.

    Enjoy your sunshiny summer, Ally! 😎 We’ll see you around.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erin, I like your idea of being your own target audience. In the beginning I was more into writing for others, joining challenges to make connections, but like you I figured out that I did better when I write what I want. I know that as a guideline the advice to Amanda is empowering in the way you mention, freedom from judgement. Do your own thing, which seems pretty much the best way to be a happy blogger.

      I’m not disappearing entirely from blogland, just taking it easy. You understand. ☀️

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  18. Sometimes your post(s) make my head hurt from thinking too hard. 🙂 Yes, I do believe there are certain groups watching certain things and social media comments, but in general I can’t imagine anyone gives one hoot about what I do on a daily basis. My family may look out a window and wonder what the old woman is doing working in the rain, but I think that’s about it. Once you let your hair go naturally gray, you are almost invisible to the rest of society, and I’ve come to like it that way. 🙂 As for summer hours, put your feet up on the deck, grab that good book, indulge in a cold drink, and enjoy. We’ll look forward to your posts when you surface. 🙂

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    • Judy, I understand about your head hurting. I feel the same way because this advice can take you down so many paths, all reasonable, but not all for you. I agree with you that I doubt that anyone notices me in general, which is oodles of fun. I watch them.

      Thanks for your encouragement about my summer hours. I’ll be doing exactly what you suggest. 😎

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  19. Well. This is thought-provoking. My immediate and somewhat vehement response was disagreement: There is ALWAYS an audience. Even if it is You, silently (or not-so-silently) judging Yourself for eating potato chips instead of carrots.

    But on further reflection, I think what I get from “Amanda, there is no audience” is that there’s no use doing a thing for someone else. You have to do it for yourself.

    Happy summer break, Ally! I hope it is filled with light.

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    • Suzanne, when I first read the advice I had the same train of thought you did. I worked in sales and marketing. All we did was play to the audience, so I primed to dismiss it.

      However… I like your interpretation of the advice in which Amanda realizes she needs to do things for herself, not for an audience. That seems like it could be the essence of this advice.

      I’m not disappearing entirely from blogland, just going to be around less, and I promise to bring some light with me when I’m here!

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  20. Wow, I don’t even know what I think about this. My first reaction was of a more work-related level. Because I do a lot of social media for my job, I always have to think about our audience. But personally, I tend to do what I want without worrying too much about who’s watching or listening. So I guess I’m a little of both.

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    • Barbara, your reaction is where I was when I read the advice. I couldn’t wrap my head around it thinking “well of course there’s an audience.” But like you when I thought about my life as it is today I realized there is no audience, I do what I do in my own way.

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  21. My publisher (now defunct) thought that knowing your audience was the most important thing for any writer to do. They assumed that women writers would appeal mostly to women readers which in my case, was not at all the case! Most of my reviews came from men! So, unless you’re writing in a certain genre and only want to stay in that genre, knowing your audience is a waste of imagination because you really don’t know. Light is a wonderful thing to focus on given the dismal year many of us have had! Onward to the Light!

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    • Jan, interesting experience in publishing. I worked in sales and marketing so knowing your audience was drilled into us. I like your realization that knowing your audience is a waste of imagination. Profound thought.

      Yes, for once my guide word for the year seems prescient. I’m feeling like it might get me through the year in one piece.

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  22. Amanda, there is no audience. It can be interpreted in so many ways! I like to think that I’m not seeking an audience but making connections with people. I’m really enjoying the lovely blogging community I’ve found! And you’re one of them. A schedule doesn’t matter to me as a blog writer or reader, so I hope you enjoy your spring and summer and blog whenever it strikes your fancy! I’ll always be happy to read your posts!

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    • Michelle, you’re right about the Amanda advice. It can strike you one way in one situation, differently in another– and both scenarios are right. I like your openness to my summer hours. I’ll show up but I’m tired of writing [am I allowed to say that out loud?] so I’ll do less of it. How’s that for following the Amanda advice!

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  23. I hope isn’t over my head or I am simply not getting it, but YEAH. I have used the phrase “burnt toast” to refer to most everything. Simply put, burnt toast = who cares. No one, unless of course I make a big deal of it.

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    • Danny, you’re getting it if’n you think this is sound advice. Many commenters have. I adore your “burnt toast” saying which is like me saying “tough darts.” Sometimes it is the only way to process a situation.

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  24. Whether we’re active on social media or not, there’s always an audience, even if it is ourselves. To me, the wisdom comes in knowing/understanding whether that audience feedback, either complimentary or critical, is genuine and helpful or destructive and demeaning. I don’t care for those who trample the feelings of others because “I don’t care what people think. I’m just going to say whatever.” However, I also don’t think it’s healthy when some sway to the opinions of their particular “audience.” So, I position myself firmly in the middle! 🙂

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    • Margaret, while this advice wasn’t about social media per se, many commenters say the same thing as you have, that there is always an audience. You’re right that audience feedback can be useful or lousy, which I think is why some people deny there is an audience, not wanting to hear something negative about themselves or their work. I agree with you about avoiding people who trample other people’s feelings with their proclaimed indifference to what other people think. I may be indifferent to what other people think of me, but I’m polite about it. It can be done. 😉

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  25. I say, “Do you authentically,” and the world can take or leave it as they see fit.
    I also say “Do summer for all it’s glory” as it’s short-lived. We will be here when you get back.
    Ps I made up both those sayings just now 🤣

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    • Bernie, I’m with you about being authentic to your own values, regardless if you believe there is an audience or not. I’m not going away for the whole summer, I’m reducing the amount of time I’m going to be online so I’ll still be around. 😁

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  27. Two thoughts about Amanda . . . I agree that there is no audience, if you are talking about the general public and one’s true, sincere friends. The majority of them are thinking about themselves too much to pay any attention to what you are doing.

    However . . . your first audience is your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, and other close relatives and I’ve found that they continue to be your audience, if you LET them. Some people like that audience, others (like me) do not, and therefore keep their business to themselves.

    On that note, enjoy every sunshine moment of your summer!

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    • Bijoux, I like how you’re parsing this advice. I agree with you that in general there is no audience out there paying much attention to me so I do what I want as in “Amanda, there is no audience.”

      I also agree that your first audience is within your family and that they may hold more sway over you, for better or for worse. I understand why you keep your business to yourself. My family is a long time gone now, so that audience isn’t around for me to know how they might influence me.

      I will enjoy summer and promise to share happy bits from it when I post every few weeks.

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  29. Ally, first thing I thought about when I read that article was I “perform” for an audience of one. I believe in God, and for most of my adult life I’ve enthusiastically tried to keep in mind there is always an audience, which hopefully guides me towards not only treating others well, but to happily ignore any noise from any naysayers. Here’s wishing you a wonderfully LIGHT spring and summer.🙂

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    • Bruce, yours is an interesting take on the Amanda advice. I like it. If you think your audience is on your side, then you will accept that you have one and take heed. I suspect that Amanda’s audience was a bunch of naysayers as some audiences can be so by not having it she was better off.

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  30. Interesting. When I’m at my craft shows I’m definitely trying to pay attention to who the audience is but just in the everyday I’m pretty much just me, take it or leave it. Hope you have a wonderful summer, Ally. Don’t know if I’m going to be blogging much either since I’m running out of space on WP and not in the mood to pay for more!

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    • Janet, when I worked in sales you had to pay attention to your audience, like you do at the craft shows. It’s common sense if you want to sell something BUT in daily life I’m oblivious to my audience, if there is one even.

      I like blogging but maybe less of it. WP can be greedy.

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  31. I think it just means, live your life for yourself. Not the social media or anyone else (honestly, everyone has their head buried in their phones so social media is the only way they’re watching). But I don’t think I’m in either of the two categories you suggested. No one cares and there is no audience, unless you try to reach one on purpose.

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    • The Snow Melts Somewhere, that’s a great take on the Amanda advice: live your life for yourself. Yes, I agree with that interpretation wholeheartedly. I’m smiling about your astute observation about how social media is the only way anyone is watching you anymore. So true, in the real world do I even exist? 😉

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      • Good question! And which version of us is it exactly that exists in the real world? Is it the version we like? Or would we prefer to be the carefully curated digital version of ourselves, even irl? And if so, are we truly living our lives for ourselves? The advice is worth repeating!

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        • I’ve no easy answers to your questions. From the beginning when I started blogging, and then with social media, I’ve said that I share slices of the real me, but not all of me. I’m the same online as I am in real life, but with more areas of interests and opinions and swearing.

          However I, too, wonder if some people are living their lives only for external validation that can be easy to find online if you present yourself in a way your audience prefers. That seems sad to me. 🫤

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          • Same here, my blog has a tone of voice whereas in real life, I’m more complex and not always seeing just unicorns. But thr again, even in real life, only a part of my entire entity is on display: at work, the only see a certain slice of me. At home, the same.
            But still, no audience unless you go seeking it.

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            • Yes, no one gets to see all the slices of me, here or in real life. 

              I agree that if you think there should be an audience then you’ll go find one. That’s pretty much the underlying principle of social media a la Facebook. You want people to remember/notice you, so you go notice other people becoming their audience, hoping they’ll be your audience in return. Then you call each other friends. 😜

              Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

                

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  33. My husband would say something similar to me when I would worry over “what will people think” about me in some context, usually work-related. He would say that, with all due respect, people had other things to concern themselves with. It wasn’t like I wasn’t important. I just wasn’t *that* important. Since I’m very self-conscious and highly sensitive, I find comfort in thinking that I have no audience. And maybe I really don’t now since I’m in my late 60s and, you know, “elderly” people are invisible in this society.

    I have to say, initially I thought the advice had to do with writing. Instead of “know your audience,” Amanda is being told that there is audience. Again, when I write, I’m more comfortable when I am *not* considering my audience than when I am 🙂

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    • Marie, I think your husband is right. Most people don’t pay much attention to anyone except themselves. Like you I’m highly sensitive so realizing how little I mean to most people makes me feel relaxed. That might be the real intention behind the Amanda advice.

      I hadn’t thought of the advice in the context of writing but I see what you mean. If Amanda just wrote what she wanted to write she’d be better off than trying to appease her audience. Clever take.

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  34. Thank you. I was thinking of one of L. Marie’s recent posts, about whether she would be writing if nobody was reading. It’s that idea of having to write for an audience, usually an audience of strangers. I feel less stressed about my writing and more likely to want to write when I think of my friends (here and online) as my audience, when I think of audience at all. I’m aware, too, that not all my friends (if any) will like what I’ve written. So it goes.

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    • Marie, a good point. I write here with the idea that y’all are my friends BUT I also realize not everything I write is of interest to everyone, and so be it. I can only share that which rings true with me.

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  35. That is a very provocative quote. I think there is an audience, thanks to social media. But trying to please everyone seems the quickest way to madness. So perhaps narrowing down the list of who to please is helpful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • L. Marie, that is a good insight. You’re right if you try to please everyone in your audience, then you’re going to go crazy and lose your way. Smart and practical idea to make a list of who is allowed to influence you. I like it.

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  36. I’m my own audience. I want to remember certain things (therefore, I write), and I like to remind myself that I have good advice or that I’ve learned something. When my words resonate with someone else, bonus! I like that you adhere to summer hours, Ally, and that you give us your guidelines. I for one look up to you for your bloggy ways.

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    • Crystal, I like your approach. Be your own audience is good advice. I write for the same reasons you do, albeit what I’ve learned is often don’t do what you did. I agree about how if it resonates with other people it’s great. I usually switch to Summer Hours because as much as I enjoy blogging I also [shockingly] have a life outside of blogging, and summer seems like a good season to lean into it. I’m flattered you like my bloggy ways. Muchas gracias.

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  37. I always feel I am being watched, particularly right now with the very impressionable foster girls/soon to be adopted girls. Plus there are the 6 other kids who either live here or show up from time to time. 😉

    I feel like I’m being watched by my ‘people’ and I hope I’m setting a good example, mostly. I swear like a sailor, but I think there are worse things. I stick up for what’s right and hold people accountable. I sure hope my kids are watching that and from their behavior and actions, I think they are.

    Outside of our family, I like to think that I don’t care what people think and for the most part, that is the honest to goodness truth. I probably worry on occasion that I’m being judged for something or another. I like what Dale said about it depends on how much weight we give that judgement. I don’t think I give it much weight.

    Very thought provoking post. Enjoy your summer hours. I love the sound of summer . . . it’s coming, hooray. I don’t babysit in the summer so my summer ‘hours’ will be free of tots. Plenty of other things to keep me busy.

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    • ernie, I’ve no doubt you’re being watched inside your house. I couldn’t deal with that but you seem to handle it well. Thrive in fact.

      Dale is right in that you have to be smart enough and mature enough to know whether you need to take something seriously. Not that it can always be easy to do that, but weighing is important.

      I look forward to summer both because of the beauty & because, like you said, there are plenty of other things to do to keep me busy away from a screen.

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  38. A great question and a wonderful follow-up conversation, Ally. I’ve never thought about an audience in terms of blogging or social media. Rather, when I post or enter a discussion, I consider that I am part of a community of creatives, passionate about sharing knowledge, experience and wisdom.

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  39. There are many factors to consider, but my #1 would be, who is the audience? Do you respect them and are they qualified to be your audience? I love when my friend Gary watches me play tennis. He is an excellent player and a qualified audience. I respect his advice. I also have a friend who can look at a photo I have taken and offer specific feedback to make the photo better. I respect his qualifications and listen to what he has to say. I will always weigh an opinion offered from someone I respect as being a higher authority. It doesn’t make me feel bad about myself, conversely, it helps me learn and grow. I appreciate that they are invested in me enough to care.

    Bottom line, handpick your audience, trust who you allow to influence your behaviors and let the others be damned. There will always be people who want to see you stumble, fall from grace, or whatever. That’s on them, not you. Have a great summer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, you raise a valid point. If you believe you have an audience you have to decide who you want to be your audience. I’m with you about appreciating input that comes from people who know more than I do about a specific topic, but I also find it easy to ignore advice from people who I don’t think know which way is up. As such my audience, like yours, is small and focused so I’ll listen to them. I’m not sure that Amanda had caught onto that more nuanced way of defining an audience thus the more blunt advice.

      I shall have a great summer and promise to show up here occasionally to update.

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  40. (Oops – issue with the commenting feature – you can delete the original as this is a duplicate!)

    Thought provoking question, Ally. I think if we think there is an audience, there is one. By that, I mean that some people really do not care what other’s think. In that sense – and in their reality – there is no audience. They march to the beat of their own drummer and if someone tries to subvert the beat, they ignore the interruption and keep going, undeterred.

    For others, there is always an audience. They care deeply, think others are always watching and judging, and are easily swayed by exterior pressure – either in reality or merely perceived.

    But maybe I’m way off base!

    I hope you have a fantastic spring and summer!

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    • Elisabeth, I think you’re right. It’s all in how you envision what your life is about. I know people who are entirely indifferent to anything anyone thinks about them as well as people who live & breathe to get external validation. Both are nice enough people but the issue of an audience is 180º different for them and they live their lives like they do because of it.

      [I deleted your dup. Thanks for the heads up.]

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  41. Huh. Well, second guessing seems like it’s generally a bad thing. In grade school we were taught that your first answer is usually the correct one. Acting like no one is watching is reminding me of the adage about worrying less about what people think of you if you realized how little people think about you. And finally, people forget. If I embarrass myself today, by next week I may be the only person who still remembers it. Life is short. Caring less about little things seems the way to go.

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  43. You pose both sides evenly and fairly. Can I choose one or the other? Depends on the day or the minute. In the meantime I will follow your advice and do good, play nice, and be happy. 🙂

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  44. Congratulations on the shortened hours. Enjoy your summer holidays. ☀️

    I’ve heard variations on this advice many times before. One of the things it communicates to me that we shouldn’t be chasing an audience or be audience-driven since most audiences have the attention span of a gnat. We also need to be able to be what we are, not as an audience might define us.

    It’s interesting that you should post this today as I’m reading a book about Princess Diana that was written by her former equerry who worked for her for six years. He’s of the opinion that she was unable to live without an audience and was always chasing it; that she basically didn’t have much of a central, internalised personality. He felt that she was seriously affected by the extreme attention she received from the time she became engaged (at age 19) and it stunted her character and personality development. Interesting topic.

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    • Lynette, coming from a marketing and sales background this advice initially struck me as nuts. But after talking with friends, and now everyone here, I understand it better. Like you said, and it is true, audiences have the attention span of a gnat, so why bother worrying about them? Be your own self, audience be damned, or some such take on it.

      The book you’re reading about Princess Diana sounds fascinating. To be honest I’ve never thought a thing about her true personality, figuring it was hidden inside her, but apparently not. I cannot imagine how anyone could live their life chasing after audiences, yet the former equerry’s assessment makes sense looking back on what I saw of her.  

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  45. I’m not big on either/or questions. It seems to me there can be many interpretations. Obviously, sometimes there IS an audience (such as when I give a presentation). It’s pretty much impossible to not have a little anxiety at the beginning, but it fades. I do hope there isn’t an audience when I’m picking my nose, but don’t we all do it? Really? (Please don’t disabuse me of the notion.) But I do think we tend to suppose more people give a rip about what we’re doing than is ever the case in reality, so why not just choose to assume that the few who do are hoping to be just like you? Give ‘em a reason to want to observe!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Eilene, I agree. This Amanda advice can be interpreted in soooo many ways that the only way I could figure about how to start the conversation here was to present the issue as either/or. After talking with seemingly the entire world about this advice I’m convinced no one agrees about what it means– and yet everyone finds their own nuanced way to make sense of it. It’s been fascinating to see the conversation unfold here [and with my friends irl].

      I also agree that many people assume others are paying more attention to them than is the case. In that sense, the Amanda advice is a good way to disabuse those people of their assumption.

      Liked by 1 person

  46. I know when I was younger I spent far too much time wondering what people thought of me. I don’t know if it comes with maturity or age, but I care far less these days, unless it’s my loved ones or close friends. It is nonsensical to care what someone we don’t even know thinks about us.

    Knowing your audience is certainly true in business, but when I write a blog post I write for myself rather than for a specific audience. Now, if someone is publishing a book or writing a magazine article, they have to pay closer attention to their audience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete, your first paragraph, I say ditto. At one time I cared, really cared, about what other people thought of me, but now I’m older and indifferent to all but a few people’s opinions of me. Choose your audience, eh?

      Yes, the “know your audience” advice was part of my work world and it made sense, I was in marketing and sales. But up until I read this Amanda advice I’d never stopped to think that I’d never questioned the “know your audience” advice. Still, like you said, I write my blog posts for me first and foremost, never worrying about performing for my audience aka bloggy friends, so I must have intuitively known that there is no audience. 

      Liked by 1 person

  47. Before I read the article, I imagined a mother telling her daughter to stop being such a show-off. (I confess, I may have been thinking too of Trump, who is always playing to an audience.) Back to the little girl … The down side of phrasing it like that for a child is that it may seem like telling her, “Nobody sees you. You’re invisible.”) As with most things, for child or adult, the best advice is in the middle. Don’t be over-concerned about what other people think of you, but do be aware of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicki, well said. I hadn’t thought of it in terms of parent/child but you’re right. It does sound like it could be motherly advice urging a child to get over her self-centeredness. And you’re also right that a child might think the mother was saying she’s invisible.

      I’m with you and your conclusion: Don’t be over-concerned about what other people think of you, but do be aware of it.

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  48. As someone who’s externally validated, I can understand there being a need for those words, even though my logical brain would still be shouting ‘but of course there’s an audience!’

    I love what Nicki said: “Don’t be over-concerned about what other people think of you, but do be aware of it.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, I’m glad that the Amanda advice makes sense to you. I get why it would, but I also stumble over the idea that there is no audience when it seems like there must be. But maybe there isn’t…

      I like Nicki’s summation too. She got to the heart of it.

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  50. I honestly don’t even know what to think of this Amanda business. I suppose it depends on what the subject is? Some aspects of my life, I couldn’t care less about what others think of, some stuff it could be very important. It’s hard to make a blanket statement like that. Right?

    Enjoy your Light summer, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suz, your initial response to the Amanda advice is how I was when I first read it. I knew the advice was popular, showing up in social media, but I also didn’t know what to make of it. Like you I find that for me the value of the advice is first all about the context. But… 🤷‍♀️

      I shall enjoy my Light summer, what a lovely way to phrase it. 😎

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mark, you said it. The Amanda advice is definitely pushing her to not care about what others think of her, but can she do that? Can any of us really do that? Some commenters say most definitely, other commenters are less sure.

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  54. Oh, dear, that’s a conundrum now isn’t it? Except, I don’t have a pun to solve it. I tend to believe that anyone putting themselves out there on the big social media platforms HAS to know there will be an audience of some sorts so it’s unrealistic to think there isn’t one. I also chuckled, as one myself, how introverts think it’ll be safe to share something and freak out when the audience is different from what was imagined it would be. I think to survive on such platforms you do have to find bravery as a badge of honor that shields you from a reply that is contrary to your take on something and questions you and your thoughts. It simply comes with the territory and is unavoidable unless you don’t allow any comments. I also think there is an arbitrary line that is chosen to not cross that a person knows would bring on the feedback they don’t really want to hear. That burning part inside of us that just wants to scream to clear our head in a blog post and then move on is self-suppression of our audience. The fear of potential backlash might just create more than we could bear so we create an environment that doesn’t bring that audience out, keeping them safely lurking somewhere and therefore the audience is essentially gone. There you go – problem solved – Amanda may be right. But, what fun would that be as a blogger to never tempt our audience to share their thoughts that might be contrary to ours? Enjoy your summer blogging schedule – I always admire that about you – it’s freeing isn’t it? 🥰🤗😎

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    • Shelley, I agree that if you’re on social media then you have to realize someone could be watching you. Same thing happens in blogging, even when you think no one is reading your posts, there’s a good chance someone is even if they don’t comment. Well said about “bravery as a badge of honor” when the critics and naysayers show up, you just have to be you in spite of the audience. That’s how I interpret the Amanda advice, she was being told to stay true to herself even if she sensed it wasn’t what her audience would like so forget about them.

      The fear of potential backlash might just create more than we could bear so we create an environment that doesn’t bring that audience out, keeping them safely lurking somewhere and therefore the audience is essentially gone. Powerful statement and a concept I’ve not seen explored anywhere in blogland. I wonder how many bloggers don’t write about what they really want to say because they’re worried about how they’d be attacked for saying it, knowing that someone somewhere would find fault. I limit the topics I’ll talk about here, but not for fear of a backlash, more because I don’t think they’re anyone’s business but my own. Plus I do let people say what they want about what I write, often raising an eyebrow as I read their take on things.

      Yes my summer schedule is freeing. I find that by putting a little space between me and ye olde bloggy, I feel more inclined to write something when I do.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Well said, Ally. I so appreciate your words of wisdom and your reply to reflect upon. You’re wise beyond words! It’s always a good thing to feel inclined to write about something, especially something that tickles our brains to discuss. 😉🤗🥰

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    • Awakening Wonders, I, too, think that knowing your audience is important, but those commenters who like the Amanda advice think otherwise. They have no audience to know. I shall enjoy my summer and promise to bring some of my goodness & niceness & happy here when I post! 😁

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  56. I’m feeling that annual spring stressed feeling (the usual work, commute, life, but now also yard work, planting, weeding, garden maintenance…), so I get the need to pull back. Enjoy your time “away.”

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    • The Travel Architect, yes spring is stressful in its own pretty way. Lots to do outside, plus I am tired of anything that has to do with screens. Much better for me to cut back here, be more there in the light.

      Liked by 1 person

  57. Wow, Ally, lots to think about in your post. I could go down a rabbit hole here, since I refer back to notes before I begin a new writing project. I require courage to be creative and try not to second guess the audience. I often write from the heart and about personal experiences. Once I have released the story into the universe (sounds corny…yet, true) I have no control how it will be received. I am often surprised by the feedback I get where certain minor points become the main emphasis in the comments. Of course, I care what people think, yet it is also water under the bridge and I try not to take it personally. As you say well, “Don’t give your power away….”

    Let the light shine back on you, Ally.💕Erica

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erica/Erika, thanks for joining in. I don’t know why this Amanda advice struck a chord with me, but it did. And now having talked with friends irl and reading comments here I can see it confuses/intrigues people like it did/does me.

      I’m like you I write from my own experiences [hence this post] and reading and musing, then I post and see what happens next. I’ve the same reaction as you, often amazed by the direction the comments go, but I don’t take that personally even if I mutter a little bit. 😉

      And may the light shine on you, too! Seems like we’re living in a time when that is vitally important.

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  58. Well Ally, it is always good for one to march to the beat of their own drum … to a point. If we get a little too “out there” or eccentric, you’re always going to have an audience, whether you welcome it or not. People are gonna talk about you, behind your back, lots of snickers. For us here in this WP forum, we invite an audience and have the ability to be ourselves, adding a little light to what, at times, has become a pretty dark world IMHO. Since “light” is your 2024 word of the year, enjoy the sunlight and your abbreviated blogging schedule. P.S.: I hope I am not the last one holding up this schedule. I was five days behind in Reader, even though I am now retired, some of which I blame on Mother Nature and raucous storms, so leaving the computer off, although I always wanted curly hair – hmm.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, well said. I know that I do my own thing but with am awareness of other people and their expectations. I don’t necessarily change because of what the audience wants unless what the audience wants is what I want, too. Also there’s a difference between an audience and people who see you; the former are somewhat invested in seeing you succeed or fail while that latter are literally people who pass by you, like in the grocery.

      We’ve had some power outages here this last week, but it hasn’t stormed significantly, we just lose power. I wouldn’t worry about being behind in your blog reading. My take on personal blogging is that you live your real life first, then do your blogging thing later.

      Happy Retirement, btw. 🎉

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is like going to a clothing store and having a store clerk tell you the outfit looks great on you, when it looks horrid – she/he just wants a sale. Not everyone has your best interest at heart; a lot of the time it is self-serving only.

        I’ve had to learn that about blogging. For me, even more blogging time is consumed by taking photos/sorting through them. I have yet to find my groove (for lack of another term) now that I am retired, it is like each day speeds by, even though I get up and outside the same time as before, but my pace can be a little slower and more relaxed now.

        Thank you – now that the weather has improved, I am enjoying retirement more, but all my favorite spots are problematic in 2024 with construction in all but one area and unrest and protests in Dearborn and whatever mess they make at Council Point Park – they have yet to start!

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        • No truer words… Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Maybe that’s the idea the Amanda advice is meant to convey, a combo of “trust yourself” with “not everyone you meet is your friend” put into one saying.

          You’ll find your retirement groove, but it’ll take a while. And the best part is you can change your groove into whatever you want it to be because you’re only pleasing yourself now! 

           

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  59. This hits home for me. I recently wrote a light email to an old friend, and received a lengthy philosophical “tome” in response. I was bewildered by it, and could only assume that my friend forget her audience. But I’ve changed my view of it now after reading your post – I think my friend was merely exhibiting her own agency; writing what she felt was important in response to me. So… while it wasn’t your intention, you did help clarify things for me. So, thanks. Enjoy that relaxed schedule. – Marty

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marty, I’m pleased to know this helped you make sense of your friend’s email. It’s an interesting issue to understand who believes in the Amanda advice and behaves accordingly [your friend] and who doesn’t. I can’t say when an issue has intrigued as much as the Amanda advice. No one agrees about what it means, yet everyone understands it in their own way. And thank you, I shall enjoy being here less, there more.

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  60. I’m not sure if someone else has already said this (and I apologize for being late to the conversation–it’s really been a couple of weeks the past couple of weeks), but I think the original speaker (the one talking to Amanda) is not giving Amanda a green light to do whatever she wants. I think she’s maybe trying to tell Amanda to get over herself. “There’s no audience” doesn’t mean no one is watching and/or no one cares. Perhaps it means:  Amanda,  you’re not performing your life. You are caring about the wrong thing (how your actions are perceived). Amanda, do what you do because it is the right thing to do. (And define “right” for  yourself.)

    Also, congrats on taking spring/summer hours. I’ve let go of a schedule because I just can’t keep to one right now. I like the idea of being light in the seasons of greater light.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rita, no one has said that and your take makes sense to me: Amanda, you’re… caring about the wrong thing… do what you do because it is the right thing to do. If that is the meaning of the advice, then I’m all for it. In fact I try to embody it daily.

      Yes, I want to spend more time enjoying the light and nature and the little joys of life, while not abandoning this blog entirely, hence the schedule announcement. I fear if I didn’t commit to some kind of schedule I’d drift away from blogland entirely. A schedule keeps me honest!

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  61. I looked at Amanda’s (!) link. I could relate to this comment from someone who is in the same age bracket as me and reinforces the thought that “noone cares.” And if they do, they don’t – for very long!:
    “I am 60 years old and can confirm: no audience. No one is looking, thinking, or caring about you. Until and unless you ask them to, and then they will, briefly. So if you want me to admire your new sweater, or help you pick something up, or hear your lamentation, I’d be happy to do so and so will most normal humans. Then we’ll go back to our own little worlds. We are not alone, but we are mostly kinda sorta invisible in a good way.”
    Denying there is an audience can be liberating. That is the good thing about getting old, you no longer care so much that no one cares!

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    • Amanda, I adore your l last sentence. I’ve found that to be true. I saw that comment you quote and found it interesting, “invisible in a good way.” I’ve always been like that so maybe as I grow older I’ll embody it even more. I can understand how the Amanda comment can resonate with someone who’s in the right headspace to let it ring.

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    • Neil, I agree. I know it took me years to get to a point where I listened politely to, but didn’t always heed, what other people wanted me to do. I sense that Amanda was just starting her journey to “no audience.”

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  63. The quote made me think of blogging, and how we write for our audience. Do I change my voice for my bloggy friends? Maybe, if what they say inspires me in some way. Also, having an audience means that you’re talking to others, not to yourself. I like the interaction of blogging, so having an audience (and being one) is important.

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    • J, I agree, it’s the interaction that’s important to me. While I get that the Amanda advice may be what some people need to feel empowered to follow their own path, I believe when we do important things we have audiences that we talk to. For instance, if you have a party at your house, you’re aware of what’s appropriate for the event and who can eat/drink various things. So being a good hostess you accommodate your guests because you acknowledge they exist. Sure you change yourself a little, but still stay true to who you are in light of the context. That’s how I often envision blogging.

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    • I, too, agree with both of you, J and Ally. The interaction is what makes the blogosphere come to life (for me).

      I find this question to be profound, and like many profound questions, it doesn’t have a yes/no answer. Like Jean-Luc Picard advised Data in ST:NG, one must be cautious with how one presents itself to one’s crew, and be conscience of the impact one’s words can have on them. At the same time, there’s a reason to dance-like-none’s-watching?

      This great question requires more mulling over, thank you for sharing it!

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      • EW, I knew you’d groove on this Amanda advice. I like your reference to the conversation between Picard and Data. You’re right that there isn’t one universal way to interpret the Amanda advice, it strikes everyone differently. After talking about it here I feel like I understand it better now, but am reluctant to say I’ll change my ways because of it. As a free spirit I’m comfortable with any audience, let them judge me or say what they want. 🤷‍♀️

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        • You know me well 🙂 Which I like and I’m honored.

          In my years working, I was taught that there are several different leadership styles, anything from Authoritative to Consensus. One of them was Consultative. It means that you listen to people’s opinions and advice, and then you make up your mind about how to move forward. That could be following some … or none of the input you received. It’s one of my favorite leadership styles (authoritative and consensus are … NOT).

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          • Yes, the consultative leadership style makes sense to me, too. That’s how I interpret the Amanda Advice, but obviously other people do not. I’m a great listener, able to evaluate what is said to me, then I do what I think is best. Meaning at that point there is no audience. 😉

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  64. Pingback: Why Do You Care? – The Endless Weekend

  65. Wow. This is so freeing. A much better way to get over the “what will people think” feeling I often get when I’m gearing up to publish a new blog post, as opposed to the “I don’t give a f*#k what other people think” attitude. I’m so glad I read this today! Enjoy your summer, Ally 🙂

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    • Rhonda, the Amanda advice hits in a way that some other advice doesn’t. I believe that just hitting the publish button on a blog post is something to cheer about, so any way in which it makes it easier seems good to me. I’ll be around this summer, just less often. Thanks for joining in.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh my gosh, after I responded I started chewing on it more. It may be a neat trick for me to play as if I have no audience, but the flip side is that I DO have an audience and I’m grateful for it!

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        • I get that. I have an audience here and I appreciate it even if some people don’t like the idea of being an audience. In some ways it’s a word game, how you define things, what you believe yourself to be part of. The Amanda advice is endlessly interesting.

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