On St. Valentine’s Day: A Slightly Risqué Conversation Between The Old Married People

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-7-32-22-amZen-Den and I were sitting in our living room the other evening.

I was playing Farm Heroes Super Saga on my iPad.

It’s a free game in which you collect brightly colored produce, flowers, rain drops, wheat sheaves, and acorns.  You accomplish this by moving pieces around the board while dealing with Darwin the Goat who eats wheat sheaves and Fidget the Squirrel who thunks acorns with his tail.

What’s not to love?

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-7-40-43-amZen-Den, on the other hand, was reading a copy of Smithsonian magazine, but he looked up to ask me how my game was going.

I told him I was on a particularly fun, but difficult, level where in order to win I needed to get Fidget the Squirrel to whack all the acorns on the screen.

To which Zen-Den commented: “Sure, any game in which nuts get a little tail is a good one. Enjoy.”

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~ Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone ~

Let’s Decide Now: Which Nickname Do You Prefer For Our 45th President?

screen-shot-2017-01-19-at-5-47-56-amI have no love for The Donald.  I imagine the feeling is mutual.

We have nothing in common, or so I thought until I remembered that during the campaign The Donald made a point of telling us that he was good at making up nicknames for his enemies.

Remember “Crooked Hillary” for HRC and “Pocahontas” for Elizabeth Warren?  Such clever [?] zingers from that man.

screen-shot-2017-01-19-at-5-56-54-amThinking on these nicknames I realized that The Donald and I do have something in common.  We’re both good at finding what we believe to be the perfect way to describe another person who we do not care for.

So today in honor of his inauguration, and as a way of showing respect for his leadership regarding the use of nicknames, I’ve created a poll using nicknames that we might call The Donald during the next four years.

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After reading the list, compiled from nicknames I found all over the place, please indicate your choice of what to call The Donald. You may choose up to 3 nicknames.

[Please note: Suggestions for nicknames not on this poll may be added in the comment section of this post. Remember, this is a PG-13 blog, so use discretion when adding nicknames. Thank you.]

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[Images via Join The Uproar. Many more available. All for free.]

Unwanted: A Photo Study Of Stuff, With Commentary

• OUT FOR A STROLL AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD, I saw this little chest of drawers sitting out by the curb, waiting for trash pick-up.  I immediately thought of Downton Abbey’s Mr. Carson’s observation: “If you are tired of style, you are tired of life.”

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• WALKING THROUGH OUR LITTLE DOWNTOWN, I saw this sign on the window of a dilapidated building that I hope to heaven is torn down soon.  It’s the kind of private property that appears to be one sneeze away from collapse, and as such, is dangerous to walk by.

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• ORGANIZING THE JUNK DRAWER, in search of coins, I found this long-expired casino voucher for a whopping 15¢.  Never let it be said that I am not a frugal optimist, albeit a disorganized one, who believed that she’d get back to the casino to redeem this voucher.

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• SORTING THROUGH THE BASEMENT, I found these moving boxes that I saved from our last move 17 years ago.  Interestingly enough, I have no idea where they came from.  We are not the Sparks family, but apparently years ago we got their stoneware, plus bowls and glasses.

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Living The Dream, Going Through The Car Wash

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They say “dream big,” but I’m a bit of a contrarian on this point.

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You see, I’m blessed with a temperament that enjoys silliness…

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and tends to focus on the details of life.

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As a result, many of my dreams are small…

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like sitting in the car as the car goes through the car wash and taking photos of the process.

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And do you know what’s the best part of this small dream?

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The fact that it came true.

A Recipe For A Heart-y Dinner, So To Speak

Do you want to be happier about where you are in life?

Then I recommend you read the following recipe which will quickly make you incredibly content to be living in the modern world.

The recipe is from The Something-Different Dish, by Marion Harris Neil, Cookery Editor of Ladies’ Home Journal and author of this cookbook, published in 1915, a mere 101 years ago.

[She also wrote The Story of Crisco around this time. But I digress…]

Please keep in mind that a respectable cookbook published this recipe because [presumably?] people were eating things like this.

That they made at home.

Not that long ago.

So considering this reality, might I suggest that when you start to feel down about your life here in 2016, you need to remember that things could be a lot worse.

You could be eating Love In Disguise for dinner tonight.  😉

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Of Sloth And Grit: A Slacker Laments

Sloth is my favorite cardinal sin.

I’m a natural-born slacker, so maybe it’s unfair of me to choose sloth as my #1 deadly sin because it comes so easily to me, but it is the one I like the best.  It’s not that I dislike all the other cardinal sins, it’s just that I have a preference.

So imagine my disappointment when…

I’m reading one of my favorite websites, Smithsonian.com.  I see an article geared toward self-improvement, a subject that intrigues a lazybones such as myself.  The article is: If Grit Breeds Success, How Can I Get Grittier?

Reading this article I come upon a link to Angela Duckworth’s Grit Scale.  Following the link, I find and take a 10 question quiz.  My score, baffling and disheartening as it is, you can see in the image below.

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 This number does not please me.

Grit suggests spunk, courage, resolve.  It shows perseverance and a strength of character that a sloth-y person such as myself believes she does not have.

Then to find out that I’m grittier than 80% of American adults– well… I. am. bummed.

And it is on that point that I’m going to leave this topic today, my gentle readers.  Clearly I need to re-assess all that I think I know about myself, examine in-depth my heretofore hidden strength of grittiness, and set about figuring out what is my new favorite deadly sin.

Perhaps gluttony? Maybe envy? Suggestions anyone?!

Trumped: In Which I Admit To Agreeing With The Donald On One Point

Earlier this week did you happen to see Rob Lowe as a guest on Conan?

[If not, I’ll wait here while you watch this clip of it.  Take your time.  No rush.]

[Okay, continuing on…]

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IN THE ABOVE INTERVIEW Conan reminds Rob Lowe that The Donald thinks that Rob Lowe is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

As much as I dislike The Donald, for many reasons, on this particular point I agree with him.

I’ve seen Rob Lowe in person. In an airport. Waiting for his wife [girlfriend?] to exit the Women’s Rest Room.

He smiled at me as I walked by, tipped his ball cap– and I swooned.

Yes, Rob Lowe is as incredibly handsome in person as he is on-screen. I’m talking really. good. looking.

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THANKS TO THE FOREGOING remembrance I got thinking about all the celebrities I’ve seen in person, usually in airports, occasionally at business events.

Or sometimes just out and about.

The following is a list of these celebrities, presented in no special order, intended to get you, my gentle readers, talking about famous people you’ve seen in real life.

Go on.  Tell all.

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MY LIST OF CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS

Rob Lowe [Movie + TV]

Paul O’Neill [MLB]

Phylicia Rashad [TV]

Richard Belzer [Comedian + TV]

James Cromwell [Movie]

Sela Ward [TV]

Peter Frampton [Music]

Big Show [WWE]

Joe Theismann [NFL]

Ann-Margaret [Movie + Stage]

Anthony Muñoz [NFL]

Carrot Top [Comedian]

Melanie Griffith [Movie]

Richard Chamberlain [TV + Stage]

Tim Russert [News + Author]

Tasha Tudor [Artist + Author]

Richard Dean Anderson [TV]

Don Budge [ATP]

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