When A Presbyterian Decorates Her Coffee Table

January 12, 2012September 19, 2016 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

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Two weekends ago after we put away our holiday decorations the coffee table in the living room was looking a bit puny— despite the fact that I keep a crystal bowl filled with jingle bells on this table all year round. [The jingle bells are from my childhood. Remind me sometime to tell you the story of how they came to mean so much to me.] Clearly the table needed something more on it, but I was all out of ideas.

Then a few days ago while I was shopping at the grocery store I saw a small houseplant of ivy for sale. It looked very healthy so I bought it, brought it home and transplanted it into the first pot that I found in the garage. However, once I got the pot inside the house I realized that it was too small for this table and that it needed some height. So I pulled some gardening books from the adjacent bookshelves and placed the potted ivy on top of the books.

Still I wanted something more on the table, so I took the plain vanilla candle that had been in the screened-in porch all summer/fall, brought it inside and put it on the table. Suddenly, I had a pretty look for the coffee table. Very coordinated & cheerful.

Or so I thought at first….

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It wasn’t until the next day when I lighted the candle and sat down in the living room to read a book that it dawned on me that I’d set up a tableau that amounted to the Roman Catholic Church’s time-honored excommunication ceremony.

“The bell represented the public character of the act, the book the authority of the words spoken by the presiding bishop. The candle was believed to symbolize the possibility that the ban might be lifted by the repentance and amendment of its victim. The ceremony was performed in some conspicuous place….”

~ Encyclopedia Britannica

After I stopped laughing at myself I got worried that maybe I’d really offended Someone– or some System– or some Being. You know how I like to live a harmonious life. So I did a bit of research about how one gets himself or herself excommunicated, and discovered to my relief that:

“The purpose of excommunication isn’t to allow you to quit or make a political statement or pursue some other private agenda. It’s to allow the church to throw you out. If you’re already out — that is, if you don’t partake of the sacraments or otherwise participate in Catholic activities… — excommunication is likely to strike church authorities as a waste of good holy water.”

~ Cecil Adams, The Straight Dope

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Finding out that I couldn’t excommunicate myself while decorating a coffee table has set my mind to rest about this situation. Also, considering that I’m not Catholic I figure that the authorities won’t want to waste holy water on me either.

Of course, I have to admit that upon closer self-examination during this situation, I’ve come to realize that as a [lapsed] Presbyterian I really need not worry about how I’ve inadvertently offended the Roman Catholic Church, as much as the fact that I rarely go to church. Which I suspect is going to reflect more poorly on my character when I reach the Pearly Gates– than my accidental excommunication-themed decorating tableau. 🙂

Of Head Colds & Door Handles

January 10, 2012January 10, 2012 / Ally Bean / 11 Comments

Last week both Zen-Den and I had bad head colds. Z-D soldiered on going to work with a determined attitude and a box of tissues by his side. I took the opposite route to renewed health and became a hermit at home, nesting with a book on the sofa in the TV room. With a box of tissues by my side, too, of course.

By the weekend we were on the rebound– moving slowly with stuffed-up noses, not tired enough to want to sleep through the day. We had some energy and the relaxed calm focus that comes from not hearing very clearly. We wanted to do something productive that wasn’t too mentally complex or socially interactive. So…

We decided to start replacing the handles and hinges on all our interior doors. Good-bye cheap shiny brass. Hello stylish satin nickel. This is a project that I’ve wanted us to do almost from the first day we moved into the house 13 years ago! I’m not a fan of shiny brass as the featured metal in northern homes; imho, it’s much more tasteful as an accent color here and there around the house.

Turns out that this project was easy enough for two sniffly, tissue-toting adults to do at their own speed without much need for thinking. It went smoothly and provided instant gratification– unlike so many home improvement projects that drag on for months. And the results of the transformation are stunning. Perfect, even.

Oddly enough we’ve never done this sort of hardware change before in any of our houses. Now that I’ve seen how much better everything in the house looks and how much calmer I feel with the proper color and style of hardware on our doors, I know that I’d do it again in a heartbeat if a new home didn’t have [in my opinion] the proper hardware on its doors. Happy is in the details. And blessed are they that make it so!

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Home Sweet Satin Nickel Home

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Obligatory Proof Of Holiday Decoration, Christmas 2011

December 7, 2011December 7, 2011 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

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Herewith please find PROOF OF HOLIDAY DECORATION in accordance with unwritten blogging rule #1225/jff. To wit, all bloggers are required to show the world proof of holiday decorating. No wordy little story about decorating will be accepted in place of mandatory photos.

Further, let it be known that the undersigned, Zen-Den and Ally Bean, jointly and severally hereinafter referred to as “The Beans,” do certify that they decorated their home of their own freewill and with relatively few arguments about how to do said project.

Further still, let it be known that The Beans would very much like to take a couple more photos of the outside of their abode, but the incessant rain has kept them from doing this. Hence, they humbly submit only one photo of the outside taken while standing inside but leaning out the front door with camera in hand.

Duly submitted and signed this day, December 7, 2011, in the presence of absolutely no one.

Zen-Den & Ally Bean

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Our New Entry System Is Here

November 3, 2011November 3, 2011 / Ally Bean / 7 Comments

Two weeks ago we had our new ~~front door~~ [oops, I mean] entry system installed. We like it very much. I can already tell that it is going to save us money on energy costs. [More about our decision to get a new door here.]

We both find it pretty to look at– and to look through. Neither one of us has ever lived in a house with beveled glass, so this is new to us. Pretty, pretty.

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Knock, knock! Look at the satin nickel hardware on our door. No more ugly, worn-out, formerly shiny brass. For this alone, I give thanks.