Day 5 Of My Self-Imposed So-Called Hermitic Existence

February 20, 2015February 20, 2015 / Ally Bean / 29 Comments

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[I’m not sure, but I think that Ms. Bean has finally cracked.]

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I’ve not left the house since Monday. What with the white death and sub-zero temps outside I’ve chosen to become a hermit. Sort of.

I see + talk with my husband every morning and night, so that would be un-hermetic. Hermits don’t chat.
I have no religious principles to underpin my decision to become a hermit, so that would be un-hermetic. Hermits aren’t motivated by extreme weather avoidance.
I’ve groomed myself and have worn cheerful, colorful jammie bottoms + turtlenecks + Polartec tops, so that would be un-hermetic. Hermits don’t look cute regardless of situation.

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[Do you suppose that Ms. Bean has become loopy and wordy because of lack of sleep?]

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I didn’t sleep well last night. The weather forecasters predicted a low of -12ºF which we did experience. Snuggled under the comforters I should have snoozed better, but the electricity went off in the whole subdivision.

I don’t know how long it was off, but when I awakened mid-snooze and realized that it was off, I trudged downstairs to open the cabinet doors under the kitchen sink so that the pipes wouldn’t freeze. Then I checked the house temperature on the thermostat, which has a back-up battery.

It was 55ºF inside.

After that I went back upstairs, woke up Zen-Den to tell him the news, and tried to go back to sleep. Sleep did not happen. Operation Fret, however, ramped up and took over my mind.

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[Do you think that Ms. Bean, poor frozen darling, will make it through another day at home by herself?]

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I’m happy to report that the heat is on again. I don’t know when it came back on, but it did. We suburban hermits don’t need to know all the details about what keeps us warm. We prefer to allow some mysteries to stay mysteries.

I’m sure that in years to come when I look back upon this week of frigid temps, boring days and heating mysteries, my mind will have turned it all into a positive memory, explained in glowing terms of self-reliance, creativity and personal growth.

Or some such nonsense.

But sitting here today, faced with another bitterly cold day of ho-hum, I’m more inclined to feel a need to whine about everything and everyone. To discard any notions of bettering myself. And to give in to the grumpy, enjoying it for all that it is. *humph*

A Revelation Upon My Return To Blogging: Snoopy Is My Spirit Animal

January 13, 2015January 13, 2015 / Ally Bean / 22 Comments

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”

~ Snoopy

I’m back. And ready to challenge myself by continuing on with this blog, The Spectacled Bean. There were moments, while I was off in the real world doing holiday things, when I wondered if I’d return.

So easy to let this all go.

But then my spirit animal, Snoopy, turned up among the Christmas tree decorations which we keep in boxes in the basement– and I realized that I’d missed having him around in my home office.

As inspiration. Motivation. And protection.

Thus it came to be that the Snoop-ster and his ever faithful friend, Woodstock, once again found themselves sitting on this funky old chair which adds color to my home office. And it is from this vantage point that Snoopy has my back once again.

Which, as you can imagine, makes me happy. 🙂

Of Cemeteries, Segways & Common Sense

October 21, 2014July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 24 Comments

A friend convinced me that it would be a great idea for us to rent Segways and then move through a large cemetery known for its unique tombstones and mausoleums.

We’d be doing this at sunset on an evening when the cemetery closed all the roads to car traffic and encouraged visitors to walk, run, bike, move through the roads.

I hesitated because I’d never ridden on a Segway, but I loved the idea of seeing this cemetery, known for its history, on a more personal level. So I said “yes.”

At first I doubted whether I’d be able to master a Segway, but I did. Sort of. Or at least I did enough to be allowed by the rental company to go move around a cemetery without car traffic.

• • •

If you’ve not been on a Segway, there are 3 things I learned:

1) You have to stand completely still on the device, with your feet locked into a perfectly aligned specific place, or you’ll cause the gyroscopes to reposition you. This means that if you do shift your feet at all, the Segway wiggles underneath you. Uncontrollably.

SO DON’T MOVE YOUR FEET, EVEN ONCE, WHILE ON IT.

2) Going up hills on a Segway is easy to do because all you do is lean forward. [MSNBC would approve.] Going down hills is more difficult because you have to lean back while never moving your feet, yet while softening your knees, so that the impact of any hole in the road doesn’t cause you trouble.

THIS IS NOT AS SIMPLE TO DO AS THE INSTRUCTORS SUGGEST THAT IT IS.

3) Turning a Segway is an unnatural skill that is nothing like driving a car or maneuvering a bicycle. While I was able to easily do it in large movements, such as turning right or left at a 4-way intersection, it was difficult to do on a smaller scale, such as wandering over to look a specific object. In fact, at one point the machine stopped responding to me altogether and took over steering so that I was thrown from it.

YES, I WAS THROWN OFF OF A SEGWAY ONTO THE GROUND BECAUSE IT INSISTED THAT WE WERE GOING TO THE RIGHT WHEN I TOLD IT TO GO TO THE LEFT.

• • •

So did I have a good time on our adventure through the cemetery? Well, to be honest, not really.

I mean I enjoyed spending time with my friend and we did cover a lot of ground in the cemetery, but we weren’t able to see any tombstones or mausoleums up-close because once on a Segway you’re stuck there.

And because it doesn’t go onto grassy areas many of the monuments we wanted to explore were way too far away to get to, let alone photograph. So the whole adventure seemed pointless to us.

Common sense suggests to me that I wouldn’t rent one again unless (maybe) it was part of a guided tour on paved paths (perhaps in a well manicured city park?) that were far away from car traffic. And even then, I might just pass on the whole Segway thing and go for a walk by myself.

It really wasn’t much fun at all. Not recommended.

SupercalifragilisticexpiALLYdocious: Goofing Off On Tuesday

September 10, 2014July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 21 Comments

Dear Diary,

Yesterday morning I awakened with the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious song from Mary Poppins floating through my head. In fact, as I walked downstairs from the bedroom to the kitchen I was singing it out loud.

I am such a dork!!!

Because I was feeling English suddenly I decided to have a proper pot of tea with milk and sugar. I got out my little blue 2-cup tea-pot, added some Taylors of Harrogate Irish Breakfast Tea [which I admit is not English at all, but is the only kind of strong black tea that we have in the house] and brewed myself a lovely beverage.

Jolly good, I tell you.

Did I mention to you, Dear Diary, that Z-D took a day off from work yesterday? Well, he did. And because the weather was so mild and the skies were so clear, we decided to skip yard work and drive over the river to the next state to have lunch on the patio of an English Pub.

Yes, my morning theme continued. Isn’t that cool?

At the Pub, I had my favorite unhealthy appetizer, curry and chips. I washed it down with a Belhaven Scottish Lager [which I admit is not from England either, but I like it– probably my ancestry coming through]. I also had healthy fish tacos with a side salad to balance out my first course.

Then, fortified with alcohol and calories, we decided to go exploring.

We drove back over the river into our state and went to a crowded, fussy, older part of the city where we found the bestest place yet. Yes, we went to Penzeys Spices, a place I’ve longed to go to for years, but only just discovered has a retail store in our city. You’d be proud of us, Dear Diary, we showed admirable restraint and only bought 6 small jars of spice, 2 small bottles of extract and 1 bag of herbs.

My inner foodie was in heaven.

Then we drove back home to the ‘burbs where we collapsed on our screened-in porch. One of us played Candy Crush [Level 205, be impressed] while the other one, exhausted by the day’s excitement, napped while pretending to read a book set in London [because once you have a theme day, you have to go with it].

This is middle age fun. Such as it is.

The rest of the day was the usual hum-drum of laundry, dishes, bills, planning, what have you. But that was okay, Dear Diary, because we had such a good time goofing off earlier in the day.