Thinking About

When Politeness Makes Me Uncomfortable

/ Ally Bean / 17 Comments

How hypocritical is it to thank someone for a kindness while simultaneously deciding to avoid him or her in the future?

This, I suspect, is an introvert problem.

Every so often I find myself in this situation with people who are nice enough people, but have values and ideas that don’t jive with my own.  Not outright bad people, mind you.  But people who wear me out with their limited thinking or inconsistent behavior.  Or incessant chatter.

Just too much, too much.

Each time I thank one of these people for his or her contribution/generosity/concern in regard to something or other, I feel uncomfortable.  This is because I know that in order to stay true to myself and my goals, I have no intention of maintaining a relationship with any of these people in the future.

That they are on the way out of my life.

However there I am, playing nice-y nice, and feeling like the pretense of each situation is an itchy old wool winter coat that I’ve outgrown, but have yet to give to Goodwill.  Leading me to conclude that what I’d describe as hypocrisy, like wool, makes me squirm, even when it is of my own doing.

I Will Not Let One Tulip Get Me Down

/ Ally Bean / 33 Comments

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I bought a bouquet of 20 tulips at Kroger because I like how graceful tulips look in a vase and because a bit of cheerful color in mid-winter is a good thing.  I put 17 of the tulips in a large vase and set it on our kitchen table.

Upbeat.

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Three of the tulips wouldn’t fit into the large vase so I put them in a smaller crystal bud vase and set the bud vase, on a saucer, on top of the chest of drawers in our bedroom.  I liked how the 3 tulips looked reflected in the mirror on the wall above the chest of drawers.

Artsy. 

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HOWEVER, a few hours later when I walked back into the bedroom I noticed that 1 tulip had given up.  Cracked under the weight of blooming.

Sure it was still a bit of cheerful color, but it was not working with the other tulips to create a tiny uplifting bouquet.  And I had the distinct impression that the Universe was messing with me via these 3 tulips.

 But you know what?  I didn’t care, so I left the tiny bouquet just as it was as a reminder that we all do what we can to make each day special & unique.  In our own way.  Regardless of what other people may want us to do.

N’est-ce pas? 

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Mild Winter Weather Distracts Sincere Blogger From Her To-Do List

/ Ally Bean / 21 Comments

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I HAD PLANS for this week.  Big plans.  I was going to be all about updating this blog.  Making it prettier.  Revising my pages.  Getting back into the blogging groove.

Admirable goals.

BUT WE’VE HAD unseasonably warm winter weather this week.  I’m talking snow-free days in the 50s with lots of sunshine.

This is unheard of around here.

AND I’VE FOUND it impossible to sit still in our home office staring at a computer screen when I can be outside… in January… wearing a lightweight jacket… and goofing off wherever I want to be.

I’m sure that you understand. 

SO I’VE DECIDED that instead of missing out on what is right before my nose, I’m going to put my To-Do List in my desk drawer where it can rest until I get back to it.  Which will be next week, presumably, when winter, inevitably, returns.

My 2015: The Year Of The Recluse

/ Ally Bean / 26 Comments

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Looking at the calendar today it occurs to me that I have been remiss in not sharing with you, my gentle readers, my resolutions revolutions one word goals dreams aspirations vague ideas simple plan for the new year, 2015.

Clearly I need to get more scoot in my get-along.

[The preceding phrase is one that I don’t normally use, but I heard a football color commentator use it when talking about some player doing something, so I decided to add it to my folksy phrases repertoire.]

[Yes, I have an actual list of folksy phrases that I started about 10 years ago.  I recently rediscovered it when I took it upon myself to sort through the stuff in my desk.  Trust me, I will be referring to said list often now that I have found it.]

So here is what I’ve decided that this year will be all about for me.  I’m going to be a recluse, defined thusly as: “a person who lives a solitary life and tends to avoid other people.”

Not exactly anti-social, but non-social.  ‘Ya know?

And sometime throughout the year I might even explain why I’ve come to this decision.  But for today all I’m going to say is that I’m comfortable with the idea of spending more time by myself while pursuing my particular interests– like finding & using folksy phrases!  😉