Are You Pondering What I’m Pondering? 7 Random Things To Tell You On A Tuesday

/ Ally Bean / 239 Comments

“Brain, what are we going to do tonight?” “The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.”

~ • ~

1 – I am well. Show of hands, who here ate some of the recalled Boar’s Head sliced meat and got food poisoning caused by an infection with listeria? Anyone, anyone, just me? I’m over it now but it was painful and disorienting. And because of it I am vowing to never eat sliced packaged deli meats again. Bleech!

2 –I am enjoying. I adored the Opening Ceremony for the 2024 Paris Olympics, am still grooving on the history and quirkiness of the show. Since then I’ve discovered a new to the Olympics sport called Kayak Cross. If you’ve not seen this, and it is fascinating + hilarious, think of it as bumper cars for kayaks. What could go wrong‽

3 – I am entertained. A lecturer from the University of British Columbia who teaches about all things musical has put together a list ranking 114 Disney songs. Based on variables such “lyrics, music, vocals, plot integration and subjective enjoyment (‘vibes, basically’)” he scored each song. While #114 is one of my personal favorite songs providing the subtext to my approach to blogging* I won’t belabor the point and instead suggest this is a fun list.

4 – I am contemplating. Earlier this summer a friend surprised me when she confided that after decades on social media and reading personal blogs she’s no longer interested in the details of other people’s lives. She’s not mean-spirited, depressed, or uptight, she’s just tired of knowing so much about people. I’ve considered what she said, wondering how much is too much and too frequently when it comes to sharing socially online? No definitive conclusion, but I take her point.

5 – I am discouraged. One year ago we had 26 beautiful large boxwood bushes on our property. Then the blight came and we lost 13 bushes**. We had the diseased bushes professionally removed and have replaced them with a variety of small bushes, not boxwoods. This has changed the curb appeal of our house and while I understand why we did what we did, the house doesn’t look like my house. Yet.

6 – I am inspired. On my radar is the Cozy Cardio trend which I’m lead to believe started on TikTok. According to the Cleveland Clinic this is a gentle way to get active. I agree with the principles of the trend in reference to walking or pilates, but don’t consider jumping rope as a “gentle” exercise. The rest of the concept sounds doable, even to a sloth like me.

7 – I am relaxed. This blessing, or spell, or poem, or whatever you want to call it, speaks to me in a basic easy way. So in an attempt to parcel out good karma I’ll share a link to it HERE and end this list with a line I am taking to heart: “just for today, let gratitude be a balm I apply lovingly to my modern life.”

~ • ~

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What’s your favorite sport in the Summer Olympics?

If you have one, which of the Disney songs is your favorite? Do you love this lecturer as much as I do?

When do you lose interest in someone online? Is it when they talk about themselves too much [as defined by you]? Is it when they do things differently than you? Some other reasons?

Assuming that you do, how do you spread good karma? Please share the deets.

~ ~ • ~ ~

* Over the years I’ve revised the lyrics to this song as a rational way of explaining who I am as a blogger: We are Ally Bean if you please, We are Ally Bean if you don’t please. 🎶 

** Of the remaining 13 boxwood bushes 10 are struggling and will be replaced next spring, leaving us with 3 of the original ones assuming they don’t get sick between now and then.

Laugh When You Can: A Tale Of Brotherly *Love* + A Poem About Methuselah’s Diet

/ Ally Bean / 207 Comments

Is this not true?

A Tale Of Brotherly *Love*

The other afternoon the temps were in the lower 80s so I went out onto our screened-in porch to enjoy fresh air and read a book.

I heard kids playing in the ravine behind the house. They were down in the creek bed that’s practically dry this time of year. Kids go exploring down there occasionally and in this case it was two boys, about 6 y.o. and 10 y.o.

I didn’t think a thing about it until I was jolted out of my reading by a loud  Dad voice coming from the other side of the ravine.

Dad said: Alexander, where is your brother?

{Small voice, indistinguishable words}

Dad again: Alexander, I asked you, where is your brother? Where is William!!

{Slightly louder small voice, somewhat indistinguishable, but saying words that included “I don’t know”}

Dad continued: Alexander, I don’t care. Go back down into the ravine and find William. NOW!

At this point I heard a small whimper coming from the bottom of the ravine. A whimper so pathetic that I put down my book, stood up and looked down into the ravine where I saw a small boy sitting on a log by himself, crying, but not hurt or in any danger.

He was pretty much playing up the drama of being left behind.

I shouted over to the Dad telling him that I could see the abandoned brother, that he was fine, and then explained where I was so Alexander, the reluctant keeper of his brother, could find William.

At which point the Dad shouted thanks over my way while giving Alexander one last clearly stated command, a guideline for how to treat your brother.

And maybe all of humanity.

Dad said: ALEXANDER WE DON’T LEAVE OUR BROTHER IN A RAVINE, ANY RAVINE, EVER. Now go find him.

Which Alexander did with some alacrity while I watched, amused, from above.

So sayeth Dad, so let it be.

A Poem About Methuselah’s Diet

I continue to sort through old family photos and papers. In one of the boxes I found the following pithy poem. My father had saved it by cutting it out a newspaper.

According to the introduction to the poem it was on the dinner cards of the 1890 Class, College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York. Researching online I discovered there’s no known author for the poem.

DIET

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,

And never, as people do now

Did he note the amount of the caloric count;

He ate it because it was chow.

•🔸•

He wasn’t disturbed, as at dinner he sat,

Destroying a roast or a pie,

To think it was lacking in granular fat,

Or a couple of vitamins shy.

• 🔸•

He cheerfully chewed every species of food,

Untroubled by worries or fears,

Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert––

And he lived over Nine Hundred Years!

Here is the poem as seen in print.

Questions of the Day

What have you laughed out loud about lately?

What’s the last thing you overheard that made you stop what you were doing and eavesdrop?

What do you think of Methuselah’s pragmatic diet plan?

• • ❤️ • •

Confessions Of A Reluctant Family Historian: My Kingdom For A Shredder

/ Ally Bean / 249 Comments

This is what is tripping me up. 😵‍💫

Last week while the outside temperatures and humidity soared to uncomfortable heights, I started going through boxes of old family photos + paper stuff, not because of an in-depth interest in genealogy, but because I want to reclaim a closet.

You see in our guest bedroom closet there are a gazillion and twenty-two boxes of old family photos + paper stuff that take up half of the closet.

Decades ago I inherited these boxes of old family photos + paper stuff from my mother and two aunts. While the boxes have been out of my sight for years their existence, even hidden away, has nagged at me.

Not as a constant worry mind you, but like a realization that there’s something I didn’t ask for taking up space in my life. And that something is weighing me down.

Group of guys, my great uncle is probably one of them.

Thus with quiet resolve I’ve begun going through these boxes that are disorganized, dusty, and sometimes have a musty odor that requires the use of an electric air cleaner in the room.

First I shredded that which obviously has no value. Things like a 1988 sales receipt for a “gold necklace” that was my mother’s, but who knows which necklace it refers to. Or things like patient notes scribbled in my doctor father’s chicken scratch cursive handwriting on the back of envelopes.

Then in an attempt to make some sense of it I’m sorting the contents of the boxes into smaller piles of:

  • Photos: a) by person when name is on the back or b) by guess based on the age of photo not the people in it [2 examples seen on this post]
  • Letters: a) personal exchanged within the family or b) signed by famous people
  • Historically interesting circuit rider preacher stuff [my great grandfather was one]
  • Lighthearted tidbits like comic strips or funny stories or cute cards
  • Bibles: 12 [!] complete ones + 3 New Testaments [1 in Spanish] + 1 Apocrypha

And this is where the project stands today.

Group of gals, my grandmother is probably one of them.

While I long to get this stuff dispatched to where it needs to go [trash? digitized photos? museums? wherever you send old Bibles?] there is a problem, obliquely referred to in a literary way in the title of this post. Gold star to anyone who gets the reference.

After shredding some old family photos + paper stuff and filling three 33 gallon extra large trash bags, I broke our 25 y.o. paper shredder. Jammed it up to a point that we decided to buy a new one, currently on order with Amazon, to be delivered later this week.

Because I have only just begun to shred. 😑

• + • + •

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

If you have inherited family photos, either because you wanted them or by default because you’re the end of the line, what have you done with them?

What project or projects are lurking in your closet, taking up physical and emotional space in your life?

Did you break any machines last week? If so, which one or ones?

• + • + •

Because It’s Funny: When Life Imitates A Movie + Determining YOUR Sense Of Humor

/ Ally Bean / 238 Comments

A STORY IN WHICH I’M REMINDED OF A MOVIE

You, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, may remember that last summer I mentioned our neighbor bought an electric robotic lawnmower that when programmed cuts the grass making perfectly straight, amazingly pretty, latticework lines across his yard.

I nicknamed the machine Yertle because as it wanders around it looks like a large slow-moving turtle.

[Also because I like to name things.]

At the time I mentioned Yertle a few commenters asked: How do you stop someone from stealing it?

We now know that the answer to this question is: YOU DON’T. 

Yes, someone driving by midday saw Yertle out in the front yard, stopped, hopped out of his black pick-up truck, and kidnapped stole Yertle. Due to the angles on neighbors’ doorbell cameras, the theft was caught on video but the license number on the truck and the face of the thief weren’t.

However, there was one thing the thief didn’t consider when he stole a machine that is programmed using 22 satellites in ye olde heavens above. You see, once Yertle was unceremoniously lifted over the property line, with a hat tip to ET, Yertle phoned home.

Literally.

Immediately.

Thereby alerting our neighbor that Yertle had been swiped and that he was resting in the back of a pick-up truck that was speeding into the countryside.

So our neighbor called the Sheriff’s Department to tell them what had been stolen and to look for a black pick-up truck. Plus our neighbor, using his cell phone that tracks Yertle, was able to tell the Sheriff’s Department Yertle’s current exact location as the thief drove down the road.

Then our neighbor waited.

Welp, apparently the thief figured out that Yertle had a GPS tracking device, so before the Sheriff caught up with the truck Yertle was found*, abandoned unharmed by the side of the road.

Yertle came home no worse for the wear, a victor over the forces of evil, and as you can imagine, the talk of the ‘hood.

A QUIZ TO DETERMINE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

I stumbled over this questionnaire, Test Your Humor Style. It’s based on Rod A. Martin, Ph.D.’s academic idea that humor can be divided into four different types.

After answering 32 easy questions, I learned that my humor styles, succinctly defined, in descending order are:

  • Self-enhancing [97th percentile], meaning I look on the funny absurd side of things;
  • Affiliative [73rd percentile], meaning I enjoy sharing amusing stories to make people laugh;
  • Self-defeating [64th percentile], meaning that I laugh along with others when being made fun of; and lastly
  • Aggressive [17th percentile], meaning I don’t use humor to tease, put down, or manipulate people.

There’s more to the definitions of each humor style so instead of writing in depth, I’ll share the following taken directly from my results page.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What’s new in your neighborhood? Spill the tea!

Ever reminded of a movie by something that happened in real life?

What’s your favorite funny movie?

Do you think the four types of humor make sense?

If you took the quiz, what is your primary style of humor?

~ ~ • ~ ~

* I wrote this post yesterday morning then learned the rest of the story last night. Come to find out after rescuing Yertle the Sheriffs did catch up with the black pick-up truck. The two men in it claimed that the only reason they’d taken Yertle was that it was by the trash cans on trash day and they thought it was a motorized toy car being thrown out. Uh huh.