Late summer in a midwest suburb. Saturday afternoon. Beautiful clear blue sky with white clouds. Green lawn, well-tended. Leafy trees aplenty. Pink roses blooming along sidewalk up to front door. Daisies giving it their last hurrah near front door.
Me, free spirit & lapsed Presbyterian
Holy Roller #1, Amy Winehouse wannabe, brandishing iPad
Holy Roller #2, Olivia Walton doppelgänger, carrying Bible
When the doorbell rang I was sitting in our home study, which is on the first floor of the house, with the window open. The women who had walked up the sidewalk could see me in the study, so I couldn’t hide from them.
I answered the door. Reluctantly.
Amy said “hello.” She introduced herself and her sidekick, Olivia. They were from Jehovah’s Witnesses, dressed in black: Amy opting for the H&M cool vibe, Olivia going with the tried & true Salvation Army look.
Amy explained that they were bringing the word of God to the
heathens people on my street, and could she ask me a question?
“Sure,” says I.
To which she said: “what gives you comfort?”
Without a moment’s hesitation I answered: “nature.” Then I pointed out toward our front yard with flowers + trees– and the sky above.
My answer, immediate and honest as it was, stopped Amy. She didn’t know what to say.
But Olivia, consummate holy roller professional, jumped right in and agreed with me: “Yes, God surrounds us all with His majesty.”
I nodded my head to show that we were on the same page here and smiled.
Nothing happened. Neither one said a word to me. They just stood there staring at me.
So I asked them: “Is this a poll? Are there more questions?”
They chuckled and quickly assured me that: “Oh no. This isn’t a poll. There are no more questions.”
Thus giving me the opportunity to bring this unwanted conversation to a conclusion: “Well then, we’re finished here, aren’t we? Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your mission.”
At which point I slowly shut the front door, leaving them confused by what had happened.
I mean, from their perspective they’d brought the word of God to a presumed heathen who had just got rid of them by turning the conversation around to where they admitted they had nothing more to say.
From my perspective, it was a conversation that would make Jesus and Emily Post proud.
Can I get a hallelujah?
~ ~ • ~ ~
~ ~ • ~ ~