Implausible But True: Learning About Gnus & Answering 10 Questions

Subtitled: A Look At How Seamlessly One Thing Can Lead To Another

Photo of a gnu by titiamatta via Pixabay

“In Scrabble putting the GNU in the wrong place won’t get you the points you need,” said I.

I’d lost to Zen-Den in a close game and I felt like explaining myself, assessing where I’d gone wrong. He, however, burst out laughing, finding my statement hilarious, resulting in a question.

“Do you even know what a gnu is?” 

“No, not really,”  said I.

So off I went to research GNUS because I like to learn and because I thought this topic might be decent blog post fodder.

And it was, just not in the way I’d anticipated.

• 😜 •

So first here’s what I learned about GNUS, using bullet points to summarize the information in this article. Then I’ll share the surprising place where I ended up.

  • Gnus are the largest of all antelopes and live in Africa, the largest herds being in Tanzania and Kenya.
  • Gnus are also known as Wildebeests.
  • Gnus is pronounced like “news” making the ‘G’ as useless as the ‘G’ in lasagne.
  • There are two species: the black, also called white-tailed, and the blue, also called common.
  • Baby gnus, called calves, arrive in February and March so we’re in gnu birthing season right now and how exciting is that?
  • Gnus are herbivores who can become dinner for spotted hyenas, lions, cheetahs and African wild dogs.
  • A group of gnus is an implausibility according to James Lipton known to many from Inside the Actors Studio fame.

• 🤓 •

Well once I learned this last point of about gnus I had an epiphany. I knew I had to find Lipton’s famous questions based the Bernard Pivot adaptation of the Proust Questionnaire.

Then, of course, I had to answer Lipton’s 10 questions because to a personal blogger a list of questions is manna from heaven. The questions are as follows with my answers immediately after each one:

1.  What is your favorite word?  

Snazzy

2.  What is your least favorite word?  

Should

3.  What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Going for a walk, seeing what I see, letting my mind wander, quietly pondering what’s really going on around and within me

4.  What turns you off?

Hypocrisy

5.  What is your favorite curse word?

Fu@k

 6.  What sound or noise do you love?

The sound leaves make when the wind blows through the trees, resulting in a quiet rustle that is the epitome of mellow

7.  What sound or noise do you hate?

The high-pitched whirring of a poorly maintained machine that is the aural manifestation of anxiety

8.  What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Interior design

9.  What profession would you not like to do?

Trash collector

10.  If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Welcome! Your favorite table is waiting over here on the deck with a good view of the ocean. Now, are you still drinking Sauvignon Blanc? Will you need to see a menu today?

• 😇 •

Questions Of The Day

When’s the last time you played Scrabble? Did you win?

What’s the last subject you researched? If you write a blog, did you share what you learned?

Back in the day did you ever watch Inside the Actors Studio?

Will you be answering Lipton’s 10 questions?

• 🤔 •

Plan B: In Which I Beguile With A Potpourri Of Pretty Pictures & Pithiness

This is what I think of as a flapdoodle & twaddle post.

I’ve nothing specific to talk about today, Tuesday, the day I try to be here every week. This happens occasionally because when you write a personal blog you can only write about things that happen to you and if nothing much is happening because it’s a dull January, then you have to go to Plan B.

Which in this case is: I look through my files, I find images + links, I write something here, thereby adding value to the blogosphere whilst giving you, my little kumquats of curiosity, something to talk about. That’s Plan B.

I await your snarky insightful comments below.

+ • + • +

1 – Here’s a visual representation [via The Washington Post] of book genres and the percentage of people by age who read the genres. Are you in step with your age group OR marching off in your own direction?

2 – This is an excellent observation that is worthy of contemplation, akin to the medieval scholarly question: how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?  [Answer: it depends on the music.] 😇

3 – I’m not a dog but this feelings wheel calls to me. I have my ZOOMIE moments and my GROWLY moments. Who among us doesn’t?

4 – After taking a year off from One Word 365, I’ve picked *LIGHT* as my personal inspirational focus word for 2024. Let’s see how this goes, shall we?

5 – I know World Penguin Day isn’t until April 25th, which also happens to be Light Jacket Day a la Miss Congeniality, BUT I can’t resist a good flow chart. Can you?

+ • + • +

Not Slowing My Roll In Time: Baffled, Bothered, And Bugged

Introduction

HAVE you ever watched something happen in front of you but it doesn’t immediately register what is really happening in front of you, yet you sense something’s not right, THEN when you realize what’s really happening in front of you it’s too late to stop it from happening right in front of you, so you watch in horror, or disgust, while what is happening in front of you happens?

That’s what this post is about.

Baffled

THIS is what happened in front of me as I stood in the kitchen waiting for the early morning coffee to brew.

Having taken the roller shade remote control out of the drawer where it is stored…

Having pushed the buttons that open all four roller shades at the same time so that I could see our backyard aka the forest primeval…

Having become aware that there was a dark smudge on one of the roller shades that was rolling up…

Having sudden realized that the dark smudge was animated moving downward as the shade went up…

Bothered

THEN realizing that the dark smudge was a stink bug that had somehow gotten inside the house from the forest primeval and was on the back side of one of the roller shades.

Where it was caught in the upward roller action of the opening shade…

Where if I’d been quicker I could have grabbed the remote control from the drawer to stop the shade from rolling up but…

Where because of my slowness to understand and act promptly the unfortunate stink bug was slowly smooshed into a lumpy mess…

Where the dearly departed bug left an actual dark smudge for real.

Bugged

THAT forced me to forego my first cup of morning coffee while I frantically attempted to clean the remains of the bug off the roller shade.

Which was now stained with a smelly dark smudge that required a gentle removal of bug guts using a damp paper towel…

Which lead to a light dabbing of club soda attempting to get the bubbly water to flush out the bug guts from within the weave of the roller shade fabric…

Which was followed by a fast Google search about how to remove a stain from a roller shade…

Which culminated in creating a mild solution of Woolite Laundry Detergent + cool water that when applied with a microfiber towel removed most of, but not all of, the bug gut stain.

Conclusion

AND with that glimpse into my life I’ll say “good day” to one and all, hoping that your day doesn’t involve stink bug guts, but if it does may it happen after you are fully awake, cognizant of what is really happening right in front of you as it happens, so that you may slow your roll in time.

Unlike me.

🌹

I’m back everyone. How ‘ya doing?

Anything in particular bugging you lately? Do tell!

🌹

July Reply: Answering YOUR Miscellaneous Questions + My Conclusions About Doing This Project [AMA Part 3 Of 3]

PREVIOUSLY…

As promised, this is the last installment of the AMA Extravaganza, a blogging project I dreamed up in June [HERE] as a way to see what y’all were curious about + as a way of focusing attention on other bloggers.

So far I’ve answered YOUR questions about blogging [HERE] and YOUR questions about me [HERE].

Again I’m highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog. This I hope will create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

Plus for your entertainment I’ve added 3 memes from the National Park Service, that has the best sense of humor of any government agency.

See what you think.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

The following questions are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.   

📌 Barbara from Book Club Mom asks: Do you think a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with others? Has this ever happened to you?

MY ANSWER: Yes, a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with other people. Or having it explained to you by someone, like a college prof, who understand the context better or has more life experience than you.

For me a case in point would be The Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne that I thought was a pathetic story until I learned more about the era it was set in– and how hypocritical religious folks can be. 🤨

📌 Betsy from Motherhood and Martial Arts asks: Did some punk on here already ask you to explain the meaning of life? 

MY ANSWER: No, Betsy, no one else has asked me to explain the meaning of life. You’re the only one to ask IF someone has asked me that question. And that is my punkish reply. 😜

📌 Catsandcoffee from MIDLIFE CAT LADY asks: If you were reincarnated into an animal, what would it be and why?

MY ANSWER: I’ve wrestled with my answer to this question. On the one hand I’d go with CAT because I adore their indifferent attitude towards pleasing people.  But on the other hand I’m drawn to SLOTH because they make me smile and live life at their own pace.

I dunno for sure so depending on my mood: 😼 or 🦥

📌 Ernie from … no small feet asks: Do you and Zen Den have couples that you meet up with for dinner/drinks. etc. And have you struggled to find couples that you both enjoy? …  How do you handle this issue?

MY ANSWER: Most of our socializing with other couples has been a result of Z-D’s work relationships. This means that unless I really dislike a couple, we continue to see them… because business. I figure it’s only for a few hours and if [almost always] there are adult beverages involved, it’s all good. 🍸

📌 JT Twissell from SAYING NOTHING IN PARTICULAR asks: Have you ever been asked if you were on drugs?

MY ANSWER: Welp, up until this question no one has ever asked me if I was on drugs. I am not, nor ever have been, but thanks for asking. Perhaps I should investigate taking some? Are you suggesting a new goal for me? 😵‍💫

📌 Janis at Retirementally Challenged asks: What kind of bean are you: lima, baked, jelly, or some other type?

MY ANSWER: Oddly enough I have answered this question before in THIS POST wherein I shared my bean personality after taking an online quiz from THE BEAN INSTITUTE that told me: “You’re the Pinto Bean: Humble, Unassuming, Relaxed & Modest.”

Ha! Didn’t see that answer coming, did ‘ya? 😉

📌 LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 asks: My friend asks me for fashion advice…. Do I tell her what I really think or do I continue to skirt around the issue, realizing it’s just my opinion, but in the back of my head, she already sees the things I see, and wants confirmation? 

MY ANSWER: If an acquaintance asked this I’d be noncommittal, BUT if a friend asked for fashion advice like yours has, I’d be more truthful, in a tactful way.

I’d approach it from the improv point of view wherein you say “yes/and” when it’s your turn to talk.  That is, your friend says something about an outfit then I’d say: “YES you could wear that AND you might be able to enhance it by ________.”  She talks and your reply is: “YES I get what you’re saying AND you could try _______.”

This continues until the conversation has reaches its logical conclusion. Then you never say another word about what she decides to wear. 🤐

📌 Mark Petruska from Mark My Words asks: If we were stranded on a desert island together, what skills do you think I would bring to the table? How about you? Would we be able to put our collective noggins together and figure a way off the damned island ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” or would we perish after a few weeks? … Keep in mind we don’t have a Wilson with us (though hopefully I’m more entertaining than a damn volleyball).

MY ANSWER: Dude, we’re doomed. No way are we going to survive being stranded on a desert island for a few weeks.

Sure you have amazing writing skillz and can mow a huge yard on a riding mower, but those abilities, while admirable, are worth zilch when stranded in the way you envision.  Plus the only skill I could bring to the situation is to complain, very well of course, taking into account everything that is wrong, but I know that gift wouldn’t contribute to our survival either.

The only way I can fathom us surviving is IF we had Wilson with us, and you’ve taken that option off the table, so my friend it’s over for us, been great knowing ‘ya. 🏐

📌 Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Is there a question you will never ever answer because of the skeleton in the closet? Where do you hide the bodies? Is there such a thing as watching too much crime drama on TV? Is there such a thing as too many cats or too much chocolate? Where did I leave my car keys? Are you annoyed by stupid questions?

MY ANSWER: First let me congratulate you on asking the most random stream of questions that anyone has asked here.

Well done.

Next let me assure you that I have some skeletons somewhere, but none involve real bodies nor do I keep them in a closet.  Mine are decorative, stored in the basement, used to zhoosh up the house for Halloween.  And yes, I’m sure some of us watch way too many TV crime dramas, but I shall not name names.

I believe, and this might be controversial, that you can have too many cats and too much chocolate. I’ll not elaborate further lest I inflame someone with my opinion.

I suggest you search for your car keys in the kitchen, maybe tossed into the silverware drawer by accident? Or pushed into the trash can by Gibbs? Or Hoshi? And no I’m not annoyed by your inventive questions. In fact I’m giving you a trophy for your cleverness. 🏆

📌 nance from Dept. of Nance asks: Is there anything you’ve ever just plain given up on?

MY ANSWER: I’ve give up on lots of things, from career aspirations to the best recipe for cheesecake– and everything in-between. The thing is I believe there is nothing wrong with giving up.

Yes, you read that right.

You just have to be clear about why you’re giving up and how your life will change because of it. If you’re comfortable with your answers to those two variables, then give up– and move on. 😌

📌 philmouse from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge asks: You’re cool (of course) so the obvious question is what flavor of ice cream do you prefer? Do you think ice cream choice reveals a lot about a person? …Some people are fans and dedicated to one flavor, some love experiments and variety, some may change as they mature – or move to a new place. Do you think there should be some research money available for a study on this? 

MY ANSWER: Okay, here goes. My favorite flavors of ice cream have changed over the years.  As a child I liked raspberry ripple, then as a teenage moved on to mint chocolate chip, followed by a decade of chocolate almond.  However now, as a confirmed adult, I like vanilla bean vanilla [never French vanilla] or caramel.

Whether I’ve revealed anything important about myself, or if there should be research money available for how a person’s ice cream preferences change, is not for me to decide.

HOWEVER I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that there is a well-funded research project happening on this question. Such is the way of the modern world, no detail of human behavior is too small to explore on someone else’s dime. 🍨

📌 Sadje from Keep it alive asks: Why does it rains when you don’t have an umbrella and it’s sunny when you do have one?

MY ANSWER: This is a brilliant question. My answer to it demonstrates why I’m sometimes described as charmingly cynical. My reply is: because the Universe likes to screw with you, just to see what you’ll do next! ☔️

IN CONCLUSION

While doing this project my stats were booming. In the words of WordPress: “The Spectacled Bean is getting noticed.”

Here is what I learned by doing this AMA Extravaganza, something I’ll probably never do again, but was worth doing once to test my mettle:

  1. When you solicit questions from your readers you open yourself up to a whole lot of randomness.
  2. If you are not prepared to make yourself vulnerable, don’t do this: remember you’re giving up your control over what you’ll be writing about.
  3. Readers asked excellent questions and answering them took more time than I imagined it would, so I spread my answers out over a few weeks which was not my original plan.
  4. This project was worthwhile because by adding a link to the blog of anyone who asked a question I was sharing the limelight with other people, thus this wasn’t all about me. Hallelujah!