If We Were Having Coffee On This November Morning…

November 7, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 49 Comments

THE SETTING:

We’d be sitting in my living room, staying dry, looking outside at the Halloween decorations still on display.

We’d be drinking cafe mocha that I made for us.

We’d be listening to the local classical radio station because it makes for a laid-back atmosphere– and it’s fun, once in a while, to let a radio station pick your tunes.

THE CONVERSATION:

√ We’d be chatting… about how this week, after weeks of trying, I won Level 90 in AlphaBetty Saga and how I believe there’s no disgrace in giving up on a game when it becomes too challenging for you. Bye, bye, Betty!

√ We’d be sharing… our latest TV obsessions, which in my case is Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, made in Australia and set in Melbourne in the late 1920s. I’d recommend them for the sheer entertainment of seeing a smart + sassy + stylish flapper detective, named Phryne, show the boys how it’s done.

√ We’d be talking… about how I’m trying to decide if I’m going to continue on blogging, or if I’m going to let it go. I’d be saying how this hobby has become a part-time job. And while it’s good that it keeps my brain clicking and my heart open, I’m finding that I’m unsure about who is following me– and why. Which makes me a little uneasy.

√ We’d be laughing… about how the Bengals, our local NFL franchise who used to be called the Bungles, beat the team from the Mistake on the Lake. And we’d wonder, chuckling at the old-time Ohio insider joke, if either of these NFL teams could beat OSU!

√ We’d be planning… when we could get together next, knowing our December holiday schedules were already filling up. And lamenting, but in a good way, how every year the invitations come earlier and earlier.

THE CONCLUSION:

We’d have to part after about an hour or so because weekend obligations are just that– things that must be done.

We’d hug and promise to get together sometime after the holidays when life returns to normal.

And we’d thank each other for listening to & commenting on our joys and woes. Like friends do. Everywhere. Over a mug of coffee.

• • •

Idea for this post came from Diana at Part-Time Monster.

• • •

Revisiting The Intentional Sobriety Experience

October 20, 2015January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

Today will be 6 weeks since I stopped drinking alcohol. And “NO,” I didn’t join AA. But I did decide to stop drinking for three months to see what it’s like to be a sober adult in social situations.

So far I’m finding that it’s boring.

First of all, there’s nothing to look forward to on the weekends. [Oh Barkeep, I’ll have a cranberry juice, please.]
Plus there are no more sparks of creative thinking while inebriated. [What to write, what to write… why can’t I think of something??!]
And, not to put too fine a point on this, there’s no way to politely tune-out the dull peoples when you’re sober. [Dear lord, is that boring man still talking to me?]

• • •

My decision to be alcohol-free came about by accident. On Labor Day afternoon as Zen-Den and I sat outside, drinking the last alcoholic beverages in the house, it occurred to me that I was *duh* sipping the last beer.

We were out of our staples, beer + bourbon + wine.

Z-D was leaving that week for his annual Canada camping trip with his friends, then he was traveling for work most of the rest of the month.

I realized that I’d be on my own most of the time in September, and in that moment it dawned on me this would be a great time to revisit the intentional sobriety experience, something I dabbled in for a few years, a decade ago.

Back then it was difficult for me.

• • •

At this point I’d love to tell you that I’m a better person because of my decision to not drink. That I feel healthier and more alive. Filled with clear thoughts and a strong connection to those people around me.

But I’m too sincere to lie like that.

Despite taking in fewer alcohol calories, I weigh the same as before. So there’s no news of that front.

And despite being an introvert, I haven’t felt any social pressure to drink this time around, confirming that I don’t need alcohol to feel comfortable among the peoples of this world.

No, the only concrete change that I can see is financial. That is, reduced grocery bills and smaller restaurant checks. Nothing to sneeze at, but nothing of much spiritual significance either.

• • •

Obviously I have 6 more weeks to go with Project Intentional Sobriety. I don’t know how I’ll hold up under the upcoming plethora of social activities we’ve planned, but I’m thinking, based on what has unfolded so far, that I’ll do okay.

It might be that not drinking is no big deal for me.

Coming from the WASP-y family that I do, and begging their forgiveness here, I admit that the words above are about as close to an anathema as one can get.

But I said them and I mean them.

People change all the time, right? So maybe, for at least these few months, I am a new Ally Bean. Bored. With a bit more coin in my pocket. But happy that I’ve trusted my instincts to explore this way of living again.

For a while.

Answering The Liebster [Not The Lobster] Award Questions

October 2, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 24 Comments

Introduction

Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest.

I feel like a bit of a fraud accepting this award by answering these questions. The point of this award is to showcase new up-and-coming bloggers to your readers.

And if there is one thing I am not, it is a new blogger. [Read more here.]

However, be that as it may, I like to do blogging memes like this one because they challenge me to think differently about my life. And because I’m alway honored to be included.

So when charming delightful DearLilyJune nominated me for the Liebster Award [which my spellcheck insists on changing to Lobster], I thought to myself:

Sure. Why not? It’ll be fun.

# # #

The Rules, Or As I Choose To Think Of Them, The Guidelines

Here are the rules for the Liebster Award. If you’re nominated and choose to accept it – you:

answer 11 questions given to you by your nominator;
leave a link back to the person who nominated you;
nominate up to 11 blogs that are relatively new (usually less than 200 followers);
notify your nominees; and
create 11 questions for the nominees.

# # #

Here are DearLilyJune’s questions with my answers

1) Here’s the Lorelai question, posed to her daughter Rory every year on her birthday: What do you think of your life so far?

I like my life so far. Living in suburbia this far out of the city is not where I thought I’d end up, but I’ve come to accept it and enjoy it. Life is quieter here than in the city, and allows me to center myself in nature, write when I want to without distractions, and pursue my love of design. I’m comfortable being a low-key suburban person who watches the parade go by and cheers on those who need to march in it.

2) What’s the cruelest thing you could do to another human being?

Cause them pain, physical &/or emotional.

3) How do you avoid doing #2?

Pay attention to your behavior, know why you do the things that you do, make a conscious decision to play nice– and remember the golden rule.

4) What’s the kindest thing you could do for other human beings?

Support other people in their dreams, listening and guiding them to make good choices, helping them understand that you can only control the process. The results will be what they will be.

5) How do you get motivated, or motivate others, to do more of #4?

I used to think that modeling the behavior you wanted to see in other people was the answer to that question. But now, older & wiser, I’m not so sure that kindness happens that way. Meaning, I don’t have an answer to this question. Do you?

6) What do you dream about at night?

I rarely remember my dreams at night. The little tidbits that I do remember revolve around houses or dorms or hotels– being safe, seeing friends, getting rooms.

7) What do you daydream about during the day?

My daydreams are pretty benign. Walking on a beach. Being in a city park, enjoying nature. Traveling to other countries with friends.

8) If you could go back and choose it, what would your first word be?

Neato.

9) If there were anything you could remember about your life as a baby, what would be your chosen memory?

My grandmother died before I was 1 y.o. I have a photo of her holding me, but I’d like to have met her when I was more aware. They tell me that she was kindness personified.

10) Why are we so quick to pose questions, and so slow to listen for the answers?

In a word, screens. Our society brainwashes people into thinking that distractions via screens, such as social media, TV, movies and video games, are more important than real interpersonal relationships. So waiting to hear a real person answer a question becomes irritating, irrelevant– and not worth wasting your time away from the precious screen.

11) If you had to ask yourself one question each day to take stock of your life, what would that question be?

What have I done today to help my spirit grow?

# # #

Care to play along? Here Are my 11 questions, or writing prompts, for you

1. Which day is your favorite day of the week? And why?

2. What color do you find the most annoying?

3. You’re going on a short drive to run errands around town. What will it be: radio OR personal tunes OR silence?

4. What novel has had the most influence on how you express yourself?

5. Do you like the traditional Thanksgiving feast? If so, what in particular do you like? If not, what do you think is a better meal?

6. When asked to do something that you do not want to do, what do you do?

7. You have a favorite TV show, right? Tell me about it.

8. Is the TSA the most over-rated, self-important, inept government agency around? If not, what is?

9. Guacamole is ________ .

10. To what are you allergic?

11. How much do you love my questions for you?

# # #

Conclusion

Once again Linus, of Peanuts fame, sums it up perfectly.

If you’ve made it this far down on the post, I applaud you. You are a true bloggy friend. Meaning that if you want to do this meme, please feel free to do it.

Do it like the “rules” say you should.
Do it like I did, in the spirit of the thing, using the rules as guidelines.
Do pieces of it as writing prompts for your blog.
Do it but never publish it.

All I ask of you is that when you choose to do this, please make sure you’re saying to yourself:

Sure. Why not? It’ll be fun.

# # #

Hazy Summer Days & A Less Than Brilliant Idea

September 8, 2015January 24, 2016 / Ally Bean / 20 Comments

Over the weekend we went for a walk on the trails in a wooded, overgrown section of a city park. It was hazy and hot outside, but it seemed like a good idea to go for a walk… at first.

In my mind this walk was going to be a glorious opportunity to photograph the flora and fauna we saw along the way. Yes, I was going to capture, for all time, the beauty of late summer.

I had my camera with me, but thanks to the hazy weather conditions + lens-smudging humidity most of my photos aren’t clear enough to be of any interest to me– or anyone else.

I share these three photos which are, trust me, the best ones of the bunch. No pithy story to go with them, however. Only a realization that I need to check the weather forecast before going on a walk… if my camera is coming along, too.