If We Were Having Coffee On This December Morning…

December 12, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 41 Comments

THE SETTING:

We’d be sitting in my dining room, marveling about how warm December is this year, wearing clothes in colors & styles that scream early autumn more than almost Christmas.

We’d be drinking oolong black tea, steeped in my blue teapot, served with milk and sugar, because while coffee is wonderful, occasionally everyone needs a cup of tea [and sympathy].

We’d be listening to an old Eric Clapton CD that I found in the glove box of Zen-Den’s SUV. Why? Because it’s Christmastime and Clapton is God. 😉

THE CONVERSATION:

√ We’d be chatting… about how this week, for the first time, at Susie Lindau‘s urging I watched Elf. Or more accurately, I watched the first half of Elf and decided that while the story is cute, there’s too much Will Ferrell in it for my taste. It’s not for me, but all of you other ~~wackos~~ people enjoy it. Please.

√ We’d be sharing… our latest accomplishments. I’d be saying that I’ve been sober for three months now. Considering how I started down this road by accident, I’m finding the experience enlightening. I’m not missing cocktails or wine AT ALL, although I wouldn’t mind a beer every so often. And maybe a shot of bourbon once in a great while. But overall I’ve come to realize that at this point in my life I don’t care about alcohol all that much. Who knew?

√ We’d be talking… about how Jon Stewart’s various appearances this week on late night TV [here and here] have brought attention to Congress’s indifference to extending the Zadroga Act, which, if reauthorized next week, will continue to give financial help to the 9/11 first responders. I’d mention that given my druthers I’d vote for Stewart for president because… SMART + HONEST– not to mention looking good with that graying beard.

√ We’d be discussing… whether this year we’ll be making a list of specific New Year’s Resolutions OR if we’ll go with a more general one word approach to self-improvement. Having tried both ways in the past, I’d tell you that, as an English major, my best successes have come from adopting one word as my theme for the year, thereby avoiding all ways to quantify my life– which for me only leads to defeat & despair. Keep it simple, keep it going, I say.

THE CONCLUSION:

We’d finish drinking our tea, notice the time, and realize that we both needed to get to certain stores on the other side of town before noon. So with a sigh that comes from being a responsible adult, we’d each get in our cars and go our own way.

But before we parted we’d hug and thank each other for the best gift there is, the gift of sincere undivided attention & conversation. Given to those people who make your heart happy and your life full. Like friends, followers, family & fans. In real life– and in the blogosphere, too.

• • •

Idea for this post came from Diana at Part-Time Monster.

• • •

[Make your own plaids, checks &/or stripes, in any color combination, like those featured above, by using Patternizer. It’s free. It’s fun.]

If We Were Having Coffee On This November Morning…

November 7, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 49 Comments

THE SETTING:

We’d be sitting in my living room, staying dry, looking outside at the Halloween decorations still on display.

We’d be drinking cafe mocha that I made for us.

We’d be listening to the local classical radio station because it makes for a laid-back atmosphere– and it’s fun, once in a while, to let a radio station pick your tunes.

THE CONVERSATION:

√ We’d be chatting… about how this week, after weeks of trying, I won Level 90 in AlphaBetty Saga and how I believe there’s no disgrace in giving up on a game when it becomes too challenging for you. Bye, bye, Betty!

√ We’d be sharing… our latest TV obsessions, which in my case is Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, made in Australia and set in Melbourne in the late 1920s. I’d recommend them for the sheer entertainment of seeing a smart + sassy + stylish flapper detective, named Phryne, show the boys how it’s done.

√ We’d be talking… about how I’m trying to decide if I’m going to continue on blogging, or if I’m going to let it go. I’d be saying how this hobby has become a part-time job. And while it’s good that it keeps my brain clicking and my heart open, I’m finding that I’m unsure about who is following me– and why. Which makes me a little uneasy.

√ We’d be laughing… about how the Bengals, our local NFL franchise who used to be called the Bungles, beat the team from the Mistake on the Lake. And we’d wonder, chuckling at the old-time Ohio insider joke, if either of these NFL teams could beat OSU!

√ We’d be planning… when we could get together next, knowing our December holiday schedules were already filling up. And lamenting, but in a good way, how every year the invitations come earlier and earlier.

THE CONCLUSION:

We’d have to part after about an hour or so because weekend obligations are just that– things that must be done.

We’d hug and promise to get together sometime after the holidays when life returns to normal.

And we’d thank each other for listening to & commenting on our joys and woes. Like friends do. Everywhere. Over a mug of coffee.

• • •

Idea for this post came from Diana at Part-Time Monster.

• • •

Revisiting The Intentional Sobriety Experience

October 20, 2015January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

Today will be 6 weeks since I stopped drinking alcohol. And “NO,” I didn’t join AA. But I did decide to stop drinking for three months to see what it’s like to be a sober adult in social situations.

So far I’m finding that it’s boring.

First of all, there’s nothing to look forward to on the weekends. [Oh Barkeep, I’ll have a cranberry juice, please.]
Plus there are no more sparks of creative thinking while inebriated. [What to write, what to write… why can’t I think of something??!]
And, not to put too fine a point on this, there’s no way to politely tune-out the dull peoples when you’re sober. [Dear lord, is that boring man still talking to me?]

• • •

My decision to be alcohol-free came about by accident. On Labor Day afternoon as Zen-Den and I sat outside, drinking the last alcoholic beverages in the house, it occurred to me that I was *duh* sipping the last beer.

We were out of our staples, beer + bourbon + wine.

Z-D was leaving that week for his annual Canada camping trip with his friends, then he was traveling for work most of the rest of the month.

I realized that I’d be on my own most of the time in September, and in that moment it dawned on me this would be a great time to revisit the intentional sobriety experience, something I dabbled in for a few years, a decade ago.

Back then it was difficult for me.

• • •

At this point I’d love to tell you that I’m a better person because of my decision to not drink. That I feel healthier and more alive. Filled with clear thoughts and a strong connection to those people around me.

But I’m too sincere to lie like that.

Despite taking in fewer alcohol calories, I weigh the same as before. So there’s no news of that front.

And despite being an introvert, I haven’t felt any social pressure to drink this time around, confirming that I don’t need alcohol to feel comfortable among the peoples of this world.

No, the only concrete change that I can see is financial. That is, reduced grocery bills and smaller restaurant checks. Nothing to sneeze at, but nothing of much spiritual significance either.

• • •

Obviously I have 6 more weeks to go with Project Intentional Sobriety. I don’t know how I’ll hold up under the upcoming plethora of social activities we’ve planned, but I’m thinking, based on what has unfolded so far, that I’ll do okay.

It might be that not drinking is no big deal for me.

Coming from the WASP-y family that I do, and begging their forgiveness here, I admit that the words above are about as close to an anathema as one can get.

But I said them and I mean them.

People change all the time, right? So maybe, for at least these few months, I am a new Ally Bean. Bored. With a bit more coin in my pocket. But happy that I’ve trusted my instincts to explore this way of living again.

For a while.

When Good Grapefruit Has Bad Marketing

September 24, 2015January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 35 Comments

To your left you will see a photo of half a grapefruit, on a pretty white bread & butter plate, plus the label off the sturdy red mesh bag it came in.

This grapefruit, purchased at the local K. Roger, is not as humongous as many of the grapefruits available, nor is it as intensely pink in color as most of the individually sold grapefruits.

It was tasty. Easy to section. Juicy, but not overly so. With just the right amount of sweetness.

# # #

But here’s the weird thing about this grapefruit. Just like Proust’s madeleines, this grapefruit stimulated long-lost memories from my childhood.

It reminded me of being an elementary school-age girl. Sitting at home in my parents’ warm kitchen while eating breakfast at the old, slightly wobbly, wooden drop-leaf table. Listening to the local AM radio “Quickie Quiz” show. Wondering what I’d be doing at recess later in the morning.

So considering the effect that this grapefruit had on me, I’m left wondering what marketing genius came up with the idea to name this product:

NOT your MOTHER’S Grapefruit.

# # #

Putting aside the stupid inconsistent capitalization of the letters of the product’s name, if there was ever a fruit whose essence reminded me positively of my past, it would be these grapefruits.

And considering that grapefruits are pretty much the same old fruit now that they were 40 years ago, I’m irritated with the somewhat passive aggressive marketing message that I’ll be an old fuddy duddy if I don’t buy these particular grapefruits.

I understand that times change, but I gotta wonder how it could be that bad-mouthing grapefruit is the key to more sales. Does that even make sense?