Of Cool Kids & Comments: 2 FAQ Answered. Got More Questions?

June 20, 2023July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 224 Comments

Here is why you are the cool kids

It’s my takeaway from one of the nicest compliments I’ve received on this blog. A long time ago a blogger told me I was one of the Cool Kids a la high school.

She explained that I wasn’t one of the Popular Kids, like the jocks with their toadies or the mean girls with their wannabes. Nor was I one of the obedient Do Bees who followed all the rules.

Instead she said that I was one of the Cool Kids, a quiet rebel, sitting in the back of the class, amused by what I saw going on, able to do my own thing with my friends.

I was flattered by what she said. It jived with my perception of who I am so I decided that: 1) if you comment here you are my friend; and 2) as such that makes you a Cool Kid, too.

~ • ~

This is how I deal with comments

First of all I’m grateful to receive as many comments as I do. Cool Kids are the best. Thank you.

That being said, as many of you have noted, it does take some doing on my part to keep up with all the comments. I’ll admit this isn’t what I anticipated when I started blogging, yet I want to be friendly and conscientious because that’s the kind of blogger I am.

You understand.

Thus my approach to my comment section is to:

only post on days when I know I’ll have the flexibility to reply to comments as they come in;
check comments frequently, but not obsessively, on the first few days after I post; and
close comments on every post after about three weeks.

In other words, in a nutshell, I don’t turn my back on my comment section lest I be swept under and overwhelmed about replying to them.

[Also for those who are interested, HERE is something I wrote about blog comments a few years ago. The post received 388 comments. 🙄]

~ • ~

Do you have more questions for me?

It’s been a long time since I asked for your questions. I’ve no specific reason why I haven’t done an AMA post recently, just no planning on my part, I guess.

So to correct this lapse and to keep things fresh & different around here, I’m asking you to leave me some questions in the comment section of this post. The questions can be about blogging or me or seeking advice for a problem.

Anything that you’re curious about.

Then starting in July, in a different post [or posts], I’ll answer your questions to the best of my ability which is to say I reserve the right to not answer any questions that I deem unreasonable.

In my answers I’ll make sure to mention you and your blog, adding a link to your blog of course so that the Cool Kids can find you.

How’s that for an incentive to ask me a question!

In Which Ms. Bean Contemplates Human Nature: Do You Play Up?

November 19, 2019 / Ally Bean / 177 Comments

A marble in a martini glass because, I ask you, why not?

Everyone plays up.

An acquaintance said that after going to a party for the parents of middle school boys who play basketball. She was making an observation about the group as a whole.

I got what she meant, having been to a few social events myself wherein people missed no opportunity to #humblebrag about their blessed lives, posing as someone more important than they might really be.

Acquaintance, who like me is an introvert with an extroverted personality when necessary, admitted that she’d played up in her own way. That is, she’d bought a new dress for this party, but one that she’d be wearing to other events.

I’m not sure I’d say that is playing up per se, but I got her point. She’d done something to make herself look better in the eyes of other people.

The conversation was short & lighthearted, but got me contemplating the ways in which we all play up depending on, I suppose, your need for external validation in a particular situation.

In my observation, and perhaps yours too, some people seem to need to belong to a group, any group, and will say or do anything to remain a part of it, fearing, I guess, the possibility of being alone.

I’m reminded of the old adage that there are makers, takers, and fakers. If I’m entirely honest, in various situations and at different points in my life, I’ve been each of these to some degree and that seems normal to me.

Anyhoo, getting to something that resembles a point here, all of the foregoing got me thinking about this idea of playing up. Here are my questions:

Does everyone play up? Is that a fact of human nature?

And if so, does that mean you’re a maker, making something of yourself by playing up? OR are you a faker by playing up? I can see both sides to this. What say ye?

~ ~ • ~ ~

Thoughts On The Differences Between A Friend & A Follower

October 8, 2019October 8, 2019 / Ally Bean / 148 Comments

Why I Asked + What You Answered

A FEW WEEKS AGO I asked you to answer two poll questions. I did this because a friend in real life who is a social media virgin asked me these questions. She was curious about the terminology bloggers use when talking about blogging and I had no definitive answers for her.

The clear winner to the question “Blogs Are Found In…” was The Blogosphere. 78% preferred that term, with another 10% opting for Blogland which I think is a charming word.

The answers to the question “People Who Read Your Blog Are…” showed an interesting bell curve of preferred terms. 40% preferred the term Readers, while 23% chose Friends and 21% chose Followers.

I often refer to y’all as my gentle readers, so the top answer based on literal thinking makes sense to me, but that’s not where I see the story here.

Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Friend?

WHAT SURPRISED ME WAS THE relatively even distribution between the second and third answers, Friends and Followers. Both are great terms but to my way of thinking these terms presuppose two different types of relationships that create different expectations about how someone will behave.

And as we all know, when expectations are not met disappointment ensues.

Friends implies connections based on equal power that are made on an even playing field. I take an interest in you, I support you– and you do the same things for me. When it comes to blogging this means I read + comment on your blog while you read + comment on my blog.

In a word, reciprocity. [Kindness?]

Followers, on the other hand, is a term that implies there is a leader with more power, who proceeds ahead while the less dominate people come after him or her. This is not an even playing field from the git-go.

In blogging terms this means that as the leader I may or may not take the time to read + comment on what my followers write in their blogs. By virtue of the way in which I envision our relationship, I’ll think I have no obligation to comment on other people’s blogs because I’m in charge here.

In a word, purpose. [Control?]

And Here Is Where The Misunderstandings Begin

TO WIT, IF I THINK you’re my Friend who will take an equal interest in me as I have taken in you, but you view me as a Follower who doesn’t necessarily deserve your time and attention, then we have a situation wherein feelings get hurt, confusion begins.

I’m expecting you, my friend, to care about what I write. You’re baffled about why you would take any interest in me, your follower. There is ambivalence, there is tension, there is cognitive dissonance. No one is happy.

I’ve no marvelous insights into why certain bloggers prefer the terms that they do for the people who pay attention to them; I just see how bloggers do what they do.

In fact, I’m only writing about this today because I found it interesting that I discerned this subtle yet significant divide in attitudes about blogging as a result of your answers to two simple questions I never thought to ask before.

Remarks, regrets, reconsiderations, anyone? The comment section is yours.