K Is For Klondike Bar, Kinda Clever

April 13, 2016January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 49 Comments

“What would you do for a Klondike bar?”

These lyrics are from a TV commercial jingle that is embedded in my brain. Permanently.

Yours, too?

In fact, when I started musing on the letter “K” for this challenge, the first thing that came to my mind was Klondike Bar, which got me thinking about how I know many TV commercial jingles from memory.

You, too?

It’s annoying, yet hilarious, to realize that instead of keeping track of important adult stuff, my old brain chooses to retain a weird assortment of lyrics and tunes, learned in my childhood while watching the idiot box [aka the TV].

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• I’m sure this realization would upset me more, if I wasn’t so darned happy when singing the Oscar Mayer Bologna Song.

“My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R…”

• OR awkwardly singing and dancing along to the Dr. Pepper commercial.

“Us peppers are an interesting breed, an original taste is what we need… Be a Pepper…”

• OR belting out a soulful rendition of the Enjoli perfume commercial.

“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget that you’re a man… ‘Cause I’m a woman…”

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All of which brings me to this very important question:

How many TV commercial jingles do you, my gentle readers, remember by heart? You may confess in the comments below.

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H Is For Hotcakes, Happening Here Now

April 9, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 51 Comments

Selling like hotcakes

… refers to brisk sales of a specific item. It’s one of those charmingly innocent idioms that I use from time-to-time when the situation demands that I be charmingly innocent.

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I cannot make hotcakes, or griddlecakes, or flapjacks, or pancakes as we call them.

It turns out that I lack the patience, coordination, and mathematical aptitude needed to create a flat pancake. My pancakes get all scrunched up, don’t flip over properly, and then cook unevenly.

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It’s tragic.

Zen-Den, however, has a gift for making hotcakes, which, by default, puts him in charge of all pancake projects. It’s a burden he’s happy to bear, because– pancakes. Yum.

Why am I telling you this?

Here’s why.

I have a theory that every person who likes to cook has one food that he or she just. can. not. make. It’s one food that everyone else throws together as if it’s nothing.

It’s a food that has the power to aggravate with the mere mention of the word. And for me that food is hotcakes.

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So, my gentle readers, what food can you absolutely not make no matter how much you try to do so?

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G Is For Gravy, Good Golly

April 8, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 43 Comments

It’s all gravy

… is a wonderful way to say that everything is going well in your life. The logic behind it can be explained thusly:

“This phrase originated from an Old English saying. Life, it explained, is meat and potatoes, and the luxuries are gravy.”

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{ Image Source: Graphics Fairy }

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That being said, for me, this phrase was one that I never heard growing up. My mother, Skinny Ginny, had an aversion to all things sauce. Including, but not limited to, gravy.

There was no gravy in my life, so when I first heard this saying, while in college studying English Literature, it confused me.

To me, gravy was something bad. Empty calories, you know?

When I finally figured out what the saying meant to the rest of the world, I had to laugh. Despite my mother’s good intentions when it came to healthful dining, she did a really good job of screwing with my mind, and inadvertently baffling me.

Which just goes to show, it ain’t always what it seems.

F Is For Froot Loops, For Sure

April 7, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 35 Comments

Just Another Froot Loop to add To the bowl

… is one of my favorite sayings. I first remember hearing it in the late 1990s, but other than that I don’t know its origin.

And I don’t care.

This is because when forced to listen to both sides of a longstanding neighborhood feud, I can say of it all, with detached amusement: I guess she’s just another froot loop to add to the bowl.

Which is true. And not rude. And gets me out of further conversation about an argument that has no definite solution, and I do not now, nor ever will, care about.

The argument being: is it better to home school or public school your children? Like I have an opinion…?! I don’t even have kids.

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