Jottings

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

/ Ally Bean / 205 Comments

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

  • friendly, warm, non-judgmental
  • assertive but not aggressive
  • truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.

Bomb Diggity: Staying In Your Good Books By Sharing Memes About Books + A Very Special Reader Comments

/ Ally Bean / 203 Comments

Yesterday I learned a new-to-me idiom. It is “in someone’s good books” and is defined by The Idioms as:

If you are in somebody’s good books, it means you have done something good that has delighted them, and if you are in their bad books, you have annoyed them, and they are now angry with you.

Granted over the years I’ve said something similar [to be “in someone’s good graces”] but now I have another respectable idiom to add to my personal lexicon.

Also, I have what will be the catalyst for this blog post: BOOKS.

You see, my little popsicles of profundity, I’m currently at loose ends, a blogging wordsmith with time on my hands because somehow or another IT IS STILL FEBRUARY and not much is going on in my life.

Thus with the aforementioned catalyst in mind I perused my folders and files that are in order for once because I’ve used this winter to get my little bloggy organized for the first time in years.

[To wit please note, there’s a revised About Ally Bean tab; a new Best Of The Bean tab; an updated Blogroll 2.0 tab + a new Header image.]

Getting back to the issue at hand, after looking into my recently organized folders and files I found the following which I present without any personal commentary. Yes, this is unusual for me but I’ll admit that at this point in February my bomb is less diggity than usual.

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AND FINALLY A VERY SPECIAL READER COMMENTS…

After writing the above I realized the following bloggers who comment here regularly are also authors of published books. Seems like a good time to mention them. Click on a name and go say “HI!” Tell ’em Ally Bean sent you.

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📚 Now it’s your turn to stay in my good books, and I know you want to delight me, so leave a comment below! 📚

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The One About Trying New Things, Setting Boundaries, & Taking A Respite, For Sooth

/ Ally Bean / 228 Comments

I’ve heard it said that when you get down to it the world is held together with safety pins and duct tape. There’s a truth to this idea, especially when I contemplate my personal blog here on ye olde WordPress.

Safety pin meet duct tape.

I’ll take credit for the safety pin part, that’d be my weekly blog posts ‘pinned’ here for all to read, contemplate, and comment on. Thank you, my fellow cool kids*, for doing so.

But the duct tape part? That’d refer to WP’s support of this blog, the way they attempt to ‘tape’ this virtual place together. And let’s just say bless their heart for trying to doing so.

Although I have to admit that some weeks I wonder how much longer WP will be around. There are glitches galore making it increasingly tedious to write, edit, format, and publish my pithy thoughts— and for you to receive them in the way I intend.

All of which brings me to the reason I’m writing this post. You see, my bloggy friends, I’m going to try something new, setting a boundary where I’m feeling drained, and taking an extended respite from writing this personal blog.

Because I’m tired of writing it**.

It really is that simple.

Tired.

As an introvert I feel that I’ve come to a point where I need a bit of space between me and whatever it is that I’m doing here. I want to relax into my real life, contemplate why I’m blogging at this point, and review what I hope to gain from writing. It’s time to reprioritize my blogging expectations.

Thus I’ll quietly duck out of here, probably returning sometime in 2025. Or maybe I’ll go elsewhere and find a new place to share my flapdoodle and twaddle.

I dunno.

And you know what? I don’t have to know right now because I’m keeping it loose, keeping it light*** by not worrying about the deets today.

Thanks to everyone who follows The Spectacled Bean, adding joy and laughter to my days. I appreciate that you’ve included me in your lives. I plan to continue checking in on yours every so often, enjoying what you have to say on your personal blogs.

Y’all are the best.

Later, kids.

* HERE is the explanation of what I mean when I talk about cool kids.

** HERE is how it has come to be that I am tired.

*** HERE is why I’m referring to wanting to keep it light.

The One About Saying Goodbye To Icky August, Hello To Wonderful September

/ Ally Bean / 221 Comments

Once upon a time we had a cat who was told to not get up on the kitchen table. He did not listen.

May I be honest here? I’m not meant to live in super hot temperatures and this past August we had some super hot days, like ones with a daytime high of 104ºF.

Not. A. Fan.

Despite being inside in air conditioning where you might think I’d ignore my aversion to high temperatures, I did not. I could look through a window and see how hot it was outside. This made me feel tired and irritable, bereft of my usual “alacrity of spirit” as Willy Shakes* would say.

Who can make plans, go on adventures, flourish, when walking to the mailbox zaps what little energy you have managed to gin up for the day?

However last week September arrived bringing with it daytime temps near 80ºF which I find enjoyable, invigorating even.

l feel alive again.

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Of course this pleasant change in temperatures and the subsequent realization of my renewed spirit comes with its own subtext. In the dog days of summer it’s easy to put off making any decisions, too hot to think straight, right?

However with this cooler weather my excuse for not doing much of anything is over. As you can imagine I’m ready to do the things that will entertain and motivate me during my favorite season of the year.

Autumn.

Thus I ask you, my little caramel apples of inspiration, what are you thinking about doing this fall? Do you have specific plans or do you have general guidelines about autumnal activities or are you going to wing it?

I’d love to know what’s up with you regarding the next few [what I believe to be] glorious months. Will you be organized? Will you be boisterous? Will you be rebellious?

Tell all in the comments below.

And this cat whilst on the forbidden kitchen table made a point of deconstructing any bouquet of flowers he found there.

* The full quote is: “So, I am satisfied. Give me a bowl of wine. I have not that alacrity of spirit Nor cheer of mind that I was wont to have.” It is from Richard III – Act 5, scene 3 BUT I am sad to say that unlike Richard III no one brought me a bowl of wine. Good help is soooo difficult to find these days.