Oh Well

A Potpourri Of Pipsqueaks & Problems & Poems, Oh My

/ Ally Bean / 225 Comments

The Pipsqueak Part – So Much Energy, I Had To Laugh

In the mornings after I wake up my ritual is to brew a pot of coffee, pour myself a mug of the stuff, and [when possible] go outside to drink it whilst gazing upon nature, absorbing the stillness of morning.

Being at one with the universe, dagnabbit.

However the other morning at about 7:20 am, as I’m communing with nature sitting on the deck at the back of our house, I hear noise. It’s a loud unfamiliar sound coming from the front of the house.

What am I hearing?

It’s the kids, the little twerps, kindergartners mostly, in front of our house waiting for the school bus to pick them up. And they are all howling like wolf pups, loudly, with gusto.

Which has prompted neighborhood dogs in backyards, like Irene [Great Dane], and Cookie [Dalmatian], and Rocco [Beagle-ish pound puppy] to join in with the little human wolf puppies, howling louder than the kids.

Creating a glorious cacophony, that while unexpected, got me laughing so hard I almost spilled the coffee in my mug.

And that would never do.

The Problem Part – In Which We Mourn A Loss 

After 12 years of service our furnace died. We knew the end was coming but buying a new one isn’t exactly the most exciting use of money. Nonetheless with a loud *sigh* we got a new one.

The new furnace, like its predecessor, is in our unfinished basement. The installation took most of a day and went smoothly under the auspices of a guy I shall call Jake. He was quiet, knowledge, and seemed to have endless energy.

Welp, once the furnace was hooked up Jake had us follow him into the basement so he could explain the new furnace, as in parts and filters, and to show us the new sticker with his name on it saying that he’d installed the furnace.

Every time a maintenance tech comes to service the furnace they leave their initials on the official permanent sticker that starts with the name of the guy who installed it.

Very organized.

But here’s the thing, the unexpected turn in what we assumed would be a standard conversation with Jake, he got choked up when talking about putting his sticker on our furnace.

Come to find out 12 years ago Jake’s beloved mentor, Tom, had installed our old furnace placing his sticker on it. And, as Jake explained, seeing Tom’s writing on the old sticker reminded Jake that Tom had recently died.

Jake was visibly bereft about Tom’s passing, on the verge of tears. Thus while Zen-Den and I politely said things like “my condolences” and “I’m sorry for your loss” Jake stopped talking entirely. Then we three stood in front of our new furnace having an impromptu minute of silence in honor of Tom.

May he rest in peace.

The Poem Part – I Gave It A Try And Here Is What I Wrote

A couple of weeks ago Kari at a grace full life wrote a poem based on an “I Am From” template [HERE]. Then after sharing her poem she politely challenged us to write our own poems.

Challenge accepted!

Below is my poem, titled in the way that Kari did hers, created by following the prompts on the template, but written using my own punctuation because, really, the punctuation on the template makes no sense.

~ • ~

My “Where I’m From” Poem

I am from legal pads of yellow paper

From office supply stores and college book stores.

I am from the small house on a brick street

Comfy, well-tended, scented with bayberry candles.

I am from hickory nuts,

Purchased whole, shelled, and baked into a birthday cake.

I’m from artificial Christmas trees and frugality

From Daisy Alice and JW.

I’m from helpers and bookworms

From relatives who preached the gospel and taught school.

I’m from Methodists and Presbyterians, a family that went to church but didn’t take it too seriously.

I’m from Ohio and can look to Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and Germany to find my ancestors.

I’m from Garibaldi biscuits and strong black loose tea measured in metal tea balls,

From childhood afternoons with my stay-at-home dad who eschewed coffee for tea, always.

The people who came to the USA to farm, and to fight in wars, and to get an education,

Leaving but a few photos of themselves behind,

While handing down antique furniture, most unique.

~ ~ • ~ ~

When Writing A Blog Post: The Importance Of Respecting Manufactured Victories

/ Ally Bean / 219 Comments

Captain Benjamin Sisko with a baseball in his hand.

THE PHRASE a manufactured victory is from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine [DS9]. The phrase, used in an episode called Take Me Out to the Holosuite, refers to a story in which the plucky DS9 gang attempts to play a baseball game on the holodeck.

It’s the 24th Century and Captain Benjamin Sisko, who is in charge of Deep Space Nine, is a nut about the old-fashioned game called baseball. He insists that the Federation crew + others living on Deep Space Nine learn the game, then play it.

Just once.

For him.

In what comes as no surprise to anyone familiar with the somewhat dysfunctional inhabitants of DS9, the uncoordinated, dare I say tetchy, DS9 team loses the game to a team of organized Vulcans.

However the DS9 team decides to call the experience a win because, from their point of view, showing up together and trying was a victory. The Vulcans balk at the idea that the DS9 team could call their defeat a success, telling them theirs is merely a “manufactured victory”— to which the undaunted team joyfully agrees and keeps on celebrating.

~ ~ ⚾️ ~ ~

OCCASIONALLY I think of this episode when I sit down to write a blog post, like I did this morning. I can want to be a prolific articulate blogger living a fabulous life full of amazing details and drama, BUT you know what?

That’s not my reality.

I’m much more DS9 crew member, stumbling along with good intentions, giving it a go, than a Vulcan who is perfectly logically organized and fascinating.

Thus by explaining the foregoing, which is to say that nothing much has been happening in my real life lately, yet mindful of my commitment to show up here weekly, I’ll end this post having written what I believe is an example of a truthful blogger’s manufactured victory.

And a darned good one at that.

~ ~ • ~ ~

So, my little space cadets, what do you think about the concept of manufactured victories? 
If you write a personal blog, have your written a few manufactured victories along the way?
Are you a fan of Star Trek, yes or no? If yes, which TV series is your favorite? And why?
Anything new happening in your part of the galaxy?

~ ~ • ~ ~

A Party, A Conversation, A Confused Me: What Does *Mainstream* Mean To You?

/ Ally Bean / 210 Comments

I WAS AT A PARTY where I ended up in a weird conversation that confused me. Generally speaking, being empathetic, I’m good at intuiting what is really being said, reading between the lines, but this time… I dunno.

Here’s what happened:

I was standing in the kitchen [no surprise, right?] talking with three pleasant women, one of whom I’d just met. The other two I’ve seen maybe 2 times in the last 10 years, so not friends– more like casual almost acquaintances that pass in the night.

What I know for sure about these woman is that they each:

  1. are married to the father of their children;
  2. have kids in college, hither and yon across the US;
  3. work outside the home, in different industries;  and
  4. attend Christian churches of different denominations.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

ONE WOMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT how her youngest child would be out of college by the end of the year. This meant that she was to the point of thinking about leaving her full-time job. This woman wasn’t sure what she was going to do next, but it was NOT going to be what she’d been doing.

To me this seemed like a standard conversation, at least until the woman I just met said: “Well, just make sure that whatever you do it next isn’t mainstream.”

And with that the three started laughing, loudly, glancing at each other as if this was the funniest thing anyone ever said.

I was lost.

The conversation continued with them talking about how they could never be mainstream– except that they were rolling their eyes like this was an inside joke and they knew they were mainstream.

I was still lost.

As a free-spirited woman who has never been called mainstream I was clueless about what was being implied by the word mainstream, yet I knew something was up.

At this point I’d have asked clarifying questions, but we were interrupted by someone who walked into the kitchen with a story to tell– and I never got the chance. Considering these are casual acquaintances [at best], I’m not going to call one and ask what was really going on.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

NATURALLY I’VE BEEN WONDERING about the conversation:

🔹 Was it about how they considered themselves to be the very definition of mainstream, embracing the word as a kind of mantra, taking it to be complimentary?

OR

🔹 Was it about how they never would define themselves as mainstream, so there’s no way that one of them could ever do anything mainstream, taking it to be derogatory?

OR

🔹 Were they talking about something else in reference to mainstream, like a pop culture or political or small town allusion that I’m not familiar with, something like that maybe?

Obviously I don’t know, but this conversation has stayed on my mind,  stumped by what was really going on. Thus I’m asking you, my little moonbeams of conversational clarity, for your take on this.

Help me understand, please.

~ 🔹 ~

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever felt like I did that you were adjacent to an inside joke?

When the word mainstream is used around you, assuming it is, how do you define it?

In your worldview does it have a positive or negative connotation? Or neutral?

Also, been to any good parties lately? Do tell

~ ~ 🥳 ~ ~

July Reply: Answering YOUR Miscellaneous Questions + My Conclusions About Doing This Project [AMA Part 3 Of 3]

/ Ally Bean / 182 Comments

PREVIOUSLY…

As promised, this is the last installment of the AMA Extravaganza, a blogging project I dreamed up in June [HERE] as a way to see what y’all were curious about + as a way of focusing attention on other bloggers.

So far I’ve answered YOUR questions about blogging [HERE] and YOUR questions about me [HERE].

Again I’m highlighting who asked each question and adding a link to their blog. This I hope will create and extend a sense of community that is, in my experience, the backbone of personal blogging.

Plus for your entertainment I’ve added 3 memes from the National Park Service, that has the best sense of humor of any government agency.

See what you think.

YOUR QUESTIONS + MY ANSWERS

The following questions are listed alphabetically using the first letter of the first name of the Cool Kid who asked the question. Thanks to everyone who asked a question. My answers immediately follow each question.   

📌 Barbara from Book Club Mom asks: Do you think a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with others? Has this ever happened to you?

MY ANSWER: Yes, a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with other people. Or having it explained to you by someone, like a college prof, who understand the context better or has more life experience than you.

For me a case in point would be The Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne that I thought was a pathetic story until I learned more about the era it was set in– and how hypocritical religious folks can be. 🤨

📌 Betsy from Motherhood and Martial Arts asks: Did some punk on here already ask you to explain the meaning of life? 

MY ANSWER: No, Betsy, no one else has asked me to explain the meaning of life. You’re the only one to ask IF someone has asked me that question. And that is my punkish reply. 😜

📌 Catsandcoffee from MIDLIFE CAT LADY asks: If you were reincarnated into an animal, what would it be and why?

MY ANSWER: I’ve wrestled with my answer to this question. On the one hand I’d go with CAT because I adore their indifferent attitude towards pleasing people.  But on the other hand I’m drawn to SLOTH because they make me smile and live life at their own pace.

I dunno for sure so depending on my mood: 😼 or 🦥

📌 Ernie from … no small feet asks: Do you and Zen Den have couples that you meet up with for dinner/drinks. etc. And have you struggled to find couples that you both enjoy? …  How do you handle this issue?

MY ANSWER: Most of our socializing with other couples has been a result of Z-D’s work relationships. This means that unless I really dislike a couple, we continue to see them… because business. I figure it’s only for a few hours and if [almost always] there are adult beverages involved, it’s all good. 🍸

📌 JT Twissell from SAYING NOTHING IN PARTICULAR asks: Have you ever been asked if you were on drugs?

MY ANSWER: Welp, up until this question no one has ever asked me if I was on drugs. I am not, nor ever have been, but thanks for asking. Perhaps I should investigate taking some? Are you suggesting a new goal for me? 😵‍💫

📌 Janis at Retirementally Challenged asks: What kind of bean are you: lima, baked, jelly, or some other type?

MY ANSWER: Oddly enough I have answered this question before in THIS POST wherein I shared my bean personality after taking an online quiz from THE BEAN INSTITUTE that told me: “You’re the Pinto Bean: Humble, Unassuming, Relaxed & Modest.”

Ha! Didn’t see that answer coming, did ‘ya? 😉

📌 LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 asks: My friend asks me for fashion advice…. Do I tell her what I really think or do I continue to skirt around the issue, realizing it’s just my opinion, but in the back of my head, she already sees the things I see, and wants confirmation? 

MY ANSWER: If an acquaintance asked this I’d be noncommittal, BUT if a friend asked for fashion advice like yours has, I’d be more truthful, in a tactful way.

I’d approach it from the improv point of view wherein you say “yes/and” when it’s your turn to talk.  That is, your friend says something about an outfit then I’d say: “YES you could wear that AND you might be able to enhance it by ________.”  She talks and your reply is: “YES I get what you’re saying AND you could try _______.”

This continues until the conversation has reaches its logical conclusion. Then you never say another word about what she decides to wear. 🤐

📌 Mark Petruska from Mark My Words asks: If we were stranded on a desert island together, what skills do you think I would bring to the table? How about you? Would we be able to put our collective noggins together and figure a way off the damned island ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” or would we perish after a few weeks? … Keep in mind we don’t have a Wilson with us (though hopefully I’m more entertaining than a damn volleyball).

MY ANSWER: Dude, we’re doomed. No way are we going to survive being stranded on a desert island for a few weeks.

Sure you have amazing writing skillz and can mow a huge yard on a riding mower, but those abilities, while admirable, are worth zilch when stranded in the way you envision.  Plus the only skill I could bring to the situation is to complain, very well of course, taking into account everything that is wrong, but I know that gift wouldn’t contribute to our survival either.

The only way I can fathom us surviving is IF we had Wilson with us, and you’ve taken that option off the table, so my friend it’s over for us, been great knowing ‘ya. 🏐

📌 Mary from Mary J Melange asks: Is there a question you will never ever answer because of the skeleton in the closet? Where do you hide the bodies? Is there such a thing as watching too much crime drama on TV? Is there such a thing as too many cats or too much chocolate? Where did I leave my car keys? Are you annoyed by stupid questions?

MY ANSWER: First let me congratulate you on asking the most random stream of questions that anyone has asked here.

Well done.

Next let me assure you that I have some skeletons somewhere, but none involve real bodies nor do I keep them in a closet.  Mine are decorative, stored in the basement, used to zhoosh up the house for Halloween.  And yes, I’m sure some of us watch way too many TV crime dramas, but I shall not name names.

I believe, and this might be controversial, that you can have too many cats and too much chocolate. I’ll not elaborate further lest I inflame someone with my opinion.

I suggest you search for your car keys in the kitchen, maybe tossed into the silverware drawer by accident? Or pushed into the trash can by Gibbs? Or Hoshi? And no I’m not annoyed by your inventive questions. In fact I’m giving you a trophy for your cleverness. 🏆

📌 nance from Dept. of Nance asks: Is there anything you’ve ever just plain given up on?

MY ANSWER: I’ve give up on lots of things, from career aspirations to the best recipe for cheesecake– and everything in-between. The thing is I believe there is nothing wrong with giving up.

Yes, you read that right.

You just have to be clear about why you’re giving up and how your life will change because of it. If you’re comfortable with your answers to those two variables, then give up– and move on. 😌

📌 philmouse from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge asks: You’re cool (of course) so the obvious question is what flavor of ice cream do you prefer? Do you think ice cream choice reveals a lot about a person? …Some people are fans and dedicated to one flavor, some love experiments and variety, some may change as they mature – or move to a new place. Do you think there should be some research money available for a study on this? 

MY ANSWER: Okay, here goes. My favorite flavors of ice cream have changed over the years.  As a child I liked raspberry ripple, then as a teenage moved on to mint chocolate chip, followed by a decade of chocolate almond.  However now, as a confirmed adult, I like vanilla bean vanilla [never French vanilla] or caramel.

Whether I’ve revealed anything important about myself, or if there should be research money available for how a person’s ice cream preferences change, is not for me to decide.

HOWEVER I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that there is a well-funded research project happening on this question. Such is the way of the modern world, no detail of human behavior is too small to explore on someone else’s dime. 🍨

📌 Sadje from Keep it alive asks: Why does it rains when you don’t have an umbrella and it’s sunny when you do have one?

MY ANSWER: This is a brilliant question. My answer to it demonstrates why I’m sometimes described as charmingly cynical. My reply is: because the Universe likes to screw with you, just to see what you’ll do next! ☔️

IN CONCLUSION

While doing this project my stats were booming. In the words of WordPress: “The Spectacled Bean is getting noticed.”

Here is what I learned by doing this AMA Extravaganza, something I’ll probably never do again, but was worth doing once to test my mettle:

  1. When you solicit questions from your readers you open yourself up to a whole lot of randomness.
  2. If you are not prepared to make yourself vulnerable, don’t do this: remember you’re giving up your control over what you’ll be writing about.
  3. Readers asked excellent questions and answering them took more time than I imagined it would, so I spread my answers out over a few weeks which was not my original plan.
  4. This project was worthwhile because by adding a link to the blog of anyone who asked a question I was sharing the limelight with other people, thus this wasn’t all about me. Hallelujah!