A Tale In Which The Beans Triumph Over That Which Does Not Belong Inside Their House

July 15, 2025 / Ally Bean / 241 Comments

Here’s a story, a snippet of life, that’s never happened here before. Please join me while I say a quiet prayer that it doesn’t happen again.

Artwork by Prawny via Pixabay

THE BEST WAY TO TELL this tale is to start by telling you that we have a new Oxo food strainer in the kitchen. There’s a reason for this purchase that I will share, BUT first I must explain what was going on at this house a few Saturday mornings ago.

To wit, if you happened to be driving by around 8:00 a.m. and noticed that Zen-Den in his plaid flannel pajama bottoms and white v-neck undershirt was running out the front door holding a food strainer at arm’s length in front of him, you might have been curious.

Further because you’re a person who pays attention you’d have noticed that he was barefoot as he darted through the front yard, making a hasty retreat to the back of the property where there is the big ole forest primeval.

A place where certain critters, alive or dead, belong.

Unlike the place inside our house where he and I found a certain live critter that did not belong.

• • •

YOU SEE WE FOUND a garden snake, about a foot long, slithering around the baseboards in our walk-in closet. I’m not a fan of snakes, albeit I understand they’re useful in the whole scheme of things and I’m cool with that as long as they are nowhere near me.

Or my clothes and shoes.

Particularly the idea of my shoes.

Which this snake may or may not have been in prior to being discovered.

At this point, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, you’re probably asking yourself two things: 1) HOW did this snake get into the house; and 2) WHAT did the Beans do about the situation.

I shall address these questions in the order asked.

• • •

HOW THIS HAPPENED: Because nothing goes smoothly for me, after about two years of dithering around and being indecisive about, we bought a new mattress: a Stearns & Foster Lux Estate with an adjustable base.

It is swanky and ever so comfortable.

However it’s heavy, thus requiring that the front door be open for a long time, many times, while the delivery men carefully carried the new mattress and then the frame into the house. Not to mention that the old mattress + box springs and its frame were taken out of the house through the same open front door.

We think that during the time the door was open, a garden snake who we’d seen living under a bush by the front door, decided to visit. It was hot and humid outside, cool and dark inside, so he decided to go on an adventure.

Which he did by sneaking into our house unnoticed.

Eventually making his way upstairs to our bedroom closet.

[I refuse to entertain the idea that the snake came in with the new mattress and frame. If that is so I’d be too freaked out to sleep on the new bed, so don’t even go there with that idea.]

• • •

WHAT WE DID: Upon discovering the snake in the closet the Beans, who you may remember are no strangers to unwanted critters inside their house, sprung into action. He went to the basement to get a wooden mallet out of his tool bucket while I went into the kitchen to get our food strainer.

His idea, smash it to smush. My idea, capture it in the strainer.

In the end we both prevailed.

Z-D was able to subdue the snake using the mallet to whack it on its head a few times. Then using the strainer I handed to him, he scooped up the probably dazed [but maybe dead] snake. He ran downstairs, out the front door, to the back of the property where he threw it into the woods.

Where I believe snakes belong.

• • •

OF COURSE ALL THAT’S LEFT to tell is the denouement of this tale.

Quite simply, once a snake, alive or dead, touches anything I use in the kitchen, that object is no longer welcome in my kitchen. Or as in this case anywhere inside the house.

Hence we tossed the old food strainer into the recycling bin and promptly bought its replacement.

Lending credence to the wisdom implied in the saying: out with the old, in with the new.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

✅ What is the last largest purchase you made? What is the last smallest purchase you made? Was there a correlation between the two?

✅ When looking for a new mattress which of these variables have been or will be the most important to you:

price
comfort
brand name
immediate availability
free delivery of new mattress
free removal of old mattress
current frame will work
existing sheets will fit
warranty
other

✅ Had any unwanted guests lately? If so, how did you get them to leave? Was there DRAMA?

~ ~ • ~ ~

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life: 8 Things To Tell You On A Tuesday In July

July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 266 Comments

I am peeved. Last week WP spontaneously published this content before I’d finished writing it. When I realized the mistake I deleted what I’d started, SWORE AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, & started over again to write this. To say I’m not pleased with WP would be an understatement. However many thanks to everyone who received a half-finished email & let me know something was off. Bloggy friends are the best.

I am fascinated. Do you know what a “nurdle” is? I didn’t until I stumbled over this article, Why Is a Blob of Toothpaste Called a “Nurdle?” While this nonsensical term has more to do with Madison Avenue than anything medical, it was used in a 1960s toothpaste advertisement for a brand of toothpaste called Vote. The best part of this snippet of advertising history is that the tagline for this now defunct toothpaste was: “A nurdle a day keeps the dragon away.” Words to live by, people.

I am uncertain. Recently an acquaintance told me why she doesn’t like personal blogs. Over the years I’ve heard many reasons why blogs suck, but her reason surprised me. She ignores them because she says “everyone does the same thing.”

She was referring to challenges &/or prompts wherein a group of like-minded bloggers commit to sharing their takes on the same topic. She finds that boring because she perceives no originality, only conformity. I take her point, but isn’t showing up in whatever way suits you, follower or free spirit, the whole point of personal blogging?

I am entertained. While checking out a new-to-me color at Sherwin-Williams called Slumber Sloth [9606], I found this Sherwin-Williams Color ID Quiz. Quizzes call to me. I took the quiz and learned that I am a Dreamer. Who’d probably sleep soundly in a room painted Slumber Sloth, don’t ‘ya suppose?

I am amused. For Christmas I got a page-a-day Peanuts calendar. It’s cute, featuring 6 comics per week total. From this calendar I learned that Charlie Brown’s favorite baseball team, a bush league team of course, is the Waffletown Syrups managed by Joe Shlabotnik. Because of course it was.

I am impressed. Never have I ever given a Bic pen a second thought. They just exist, ‘ya know? But come to find out they’re considered a game changer, a big deal in the world of pens. Read How the BIC Cristal Ballpoint Pen Became the Most Successful Product in History to learn more.

I am charmed. Well if you don’t find this link, Owls in Towels, to be about the sweetest ding-dang-darned thing that you ever did see, then are you even alive? ‘Nuff said. Go check it out.

I am snarky. The following is a WaPo chart about humidity. It’s a pretty chart in which a dew point number is correlated to how it feels to experience this dew point. This is all well and good if you happen to have straight hair, but I’m a woman with naturally curly frizzy hair all. the. time. THUS if I take this information verbatim I’m always living in a world with high humidity, aren’t I? And that just ain’t so.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

📌 On average how many nurdles a day do you use?

📌 If you’re a blogger do you do challenges &/or prompts? Thinking about them in general do you feel they:

empower you by providing you with a sense of community?
focus you by pointing you and your energy in one tangible direction?
restrict you by telling you what to do, but not how to do it?
limit you by squelching your inclination to do your own thing?
other?

📌 Would you paint your walls Slumber Sloth? If you took the S-W quiz what did your results tell you about you? Do you agree with the assessment?

📌 Got frizzy hair? How do you tame it? Or like me, have you given up on the idea?

📌 Anyone else about had it with WP? If so, whatcha gonna do about it?

+ • + • +

Look At That: Learning About Cicadas, Laughing About A Credit Card

June 17, 2025July 2, 2025 / Ally Bean / 232 Comments

The Educational Cicada Part – EEK!

SINCE MID-MAY WE’VE BEEN experiencing Cicada Brood 14 here. Cicadas are insects that emerge into the world on a 17 year cycle. It is their year to show up for 4 to 6 weeks then die.

Cicadas, who have beady orangish red eyes, come up out of the ground and climb on/cling to surfaces that have texture, like trees and bricks and screens. They are everywhere outside the house and when clinging to window screens they appear to be watching you inside.

Not creepy at all. 😳

• • •

WE ARE PEOPLE WHOSE backyard is a woods, thus the arrival of Brood 14 has not been a joyful experience.

I cannot confirm how joyful the cicadas may or may not be, but from their dramatic random flitting about during daylight hours I’d guess they’re happy enough. After all they are here to do one thing: to ~~engage in amorous congress~~ mate.

After mating the adults lay their eggs and the cicada babies (nymphs) hatch in 6 to 10 weeks. Then the nymphs will burrow into the ground where they’ll live until 17 years hence when they emerge.

While cicadas don’t swarm or sting or bite anything or anyone, they are noisy. As in daily highs of 80 decibels [the sound of a lawnmower] to 120 decibels [the sound of a motorcycle revving]. This is what the newspaper told me and I believe it.

It is deafening.

• • •

HOWEVER HERE’S THE THING about these intrusive bugs. Remember when we got the new deck and I spent about a year deciding which color of Trex to use so that the deck would look natural as if it was made from real wood from the trees in the forest primeval behind us?

Well apparently I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. Come to find out Coastal Bluff, the color of our deck, is such a dead ringer for the tree trunks that cicadas love it.

In fact they find it the perfect place to hang out and do their aforementioned thing— then ~~join the choir invisible~~ drop dead.

All day long.

The Amusing Credit Card Part – WTF!

The other day Z-D walked down to the mailbox, dodging cicadas, and came back into the house laughing while holding up a Visa card. I didn’t understand what was going on because we don’t have Visa.

Welp, come to find out the large company he used to work for, the one he formally retired from in the fall of 2022, had sent him a corporate business credit card with a limit of $15,000.00!

Obviously this was a test of good moral character. 🙄

My first thought was, and try not to think less of me when I say this, a vacation in Hawaii would be nice. Or how about going to London, England, for a week? Yep, we could make good use of that credit card.

BUT WE DIDN’T.

Instead Z-D immediately emailed his former boss letting him know what he had in his hand, asking for guidance about what to do with it.

And eventually, about two weeks later, Zen-Den received a snail mail letter from large company that said [of course] don’t use it and destroy it immediately because there’s been a mistake!

‘Ya think?!!

• 🧡 •

Now it’s your turn to spill the beans.

**What’s bugging you in your world today?**

**If a surprise $15,000.00 landed in your hands, through no malfeasance of your own, what would you think about doing with it?**

Tell all in the comments below.

• 💵 •

What To Do, What To Do? A Simple Way To Make A Decision + Kate’s Five Things

June 3, 2025July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 239 Comments

I’ve heard it said that when you need to make a decision and you find yourself stumped about what to do, your answer will become clear by asking yourself: what would make my 7 y.o. self proud and my 80 y.o. self grateful?

Today I’m asking myself this proud/grateful question because on the surface of it I have nothing to write about. Not that I don’t do things, but what I do to stay busy isn’t necessarily interesting to anyone else, me thinks.

I mean, I got a new prescription for my glasses & I planted some zinnia seeds & I discovered that a snazzy new-to-the-area convenience store, Sheetz, carries my favorite difficult-to-find candy bar, Zagnut. Thus I am seeing clearly & hoping for some late summer blooms & grooving on yumminess.

I’m happy, my bliss is buzzing as they say, but I can’t help but pondering: shouldn’t there be more to this blog post than a few random glimpses into my daily life?

And you know what?

Both my 7 y.o. self and my 80 y.o. self say YES!

Thus I’m answering Kate’s Five Things questions. They are a weekly feature on House Call WITH KATE ARENDS who you may know from her blog Wit & Delight.

Her questions + my answers are as follows:

• When did you feel most at home this week?

Answer: in the kitchen while I made a new delicious recipe, Raspberry-Ricotta Cake. I enjoy baking and I enjoy bouncing around in the kitchen creating a mess while following, but also tweaking, recipes. [I added 1/4th teaspoon lemon extract to bring out the berry’s citrus flavor.]

• Where are you moving forward?

Answer: in the last few months I’ve come to appreciate how organized I’ve become since March 2020, the official beginning of the Covid-19 Pandemic. Not that we were living in chaos before but I’ve come to realize that I didn’t know what we had + where it was, and this was causing me to feel a low level of anxiety. Now I feel more in control, proactive, rather than at loose ends, reactive.

• Where are you stuck?

Answer: I’m not a person who enjoys learning about technology. Recently I moved from an iPhone 8 to an iPhone 16. I’ve become overwhelmed and bothered by its newness: too many different ways of doing what I used to know how to do + too many new computer-y fiddly bits, none of which I asked for, that I now must contend with.

• What did you consume that was regenerative?

Answer: I read The Cat Who Saved Books by Japanese author Sōsuke Natsukawa. It’s a short novel, a fable, about the positive power of books and the types of people who disabuse this power. The protagonist, a lonely teenage boy, follows a cat into different realms to [you guessed it] save books. It’s a charming tale, insightful, gently pointing out flaws in human nature.

• What question are you asking?

Answer: Does this matter? And if so, where is the story?