I am a kind person so most of the time I overlook bad manners + rude behavior. But not every time.
There are limits. There are moments.
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People occasionally misinterpret my mellow attitude, thinking that I’ll put up with anything. That they can continue to misbehave + to complain ad nauseam.
This surprises me. Every lousy time.
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However, if someone continues to behave in a way that I deem inappropriate + selfish, I will detach myself from said person. Never to help him or her again.
And I will remember.
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So you see, that is what yesterday was all about. Me. Being clear + decisive about my expectations. Me. Drawing a digital line in the sand.
As part of my attempt to live a more balanced life in 2013, I have given myself the assignment to watch 2 movies and to read 2 books each month. Here is my May report.
2 Movies
Small, Beautifully Moving Parts – Clever + truthful. A pregnant, techie-oriented woman, who lives in NYC, goes to LA so that her sister may give her a proper baby shower. Once on the west coast, the mother-to-be decides to visit her divorced parents. Her father’s reaction to seeing her is delight, but her off-the-grid mother’s reaction is alternately hilarious or sad. Recommended if you like honest characters + quiet triumphs.
Jesus Henry Christ – Tedious + confused. I wanted to like this movie produced by Julia Roberts, but I didn’t. The premise is that a brilliant 10-year-old boy, whose mother had in vitro fertilization, decides to find out who his biological father really is– and he does. But the plot dragged on and the characters were of the over-the-top-but-supposed-to-be-endearing variety so that nothing in the story seemed interesting or plausible or worth caring about. Not recommended.
2 Books
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks – Extraordinary + compelling. Rebecca Skloot tells the true story of how one woman’s cells, taken from her without her permission, came to be first “immortal” human cells grown in a medical lab at Johns Hopkins University. Plus, Skloot tells the story of Henrietta’s life, her children’s lives and all the subsequent injustices done to all of them. Recommended if you like medical history + family stories that span generations.
Too Much Happiness – Well-written, but forgettable. I know that Alice Munro is a writer with an enthusiastic following so I decided to read one of her books. This book of 10 short stories was, perhaps, not her best effort– or maybe I don’t get her. I found the stories to be depressing &/or mundane; so much so that even her smooth writing couldn’t overcome it. Recommended if you like glimpses into the darker side of human nature + need something to read that’s easy to put down and pick up as need be.
1 Complete Blank
In this spot I like to share something clever or funny that I saw/read/heard during the month, but I’m coming up with a blank here. Oh well, whatever. If anyone has something inspiring or cheerful that could be in this spot, just let me know & in it goes. If not, I suggest that we all be like Quakers at a Sunday meeting and sit here silently reflecting upon the Divine. The choice is yours, gentle readers.
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[As promised above, I’ve added your ideas to inspire or cheer thus filling in my Complete Blank.]
1) From Polly at caughtwriting, an Emily Dickinson quote:
“Forever– is composed of nows.”
2) From Zazzy at zazamataz.com, an e.e. cummings quote:
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
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My energy this week has been scattered. Some moments I’ve been focused + productive. But other moments (most moments) I’ve been angsty + worried. Then add in the fact that this is a 4-day work week– and I don’t know what I’m all about.
While it is true that I am more comfortable than most with the vagaries of life, this week I’ve felt out of sorts about my lack of progress or connection or accomplishment or whatever. Scattered, I tell you.
So yesterday afternoon I decided that the best thing for me to do was to see what I could see outside around the house. I thought that a distraction would be good. Naturally I took my camera with me.
It was a hazy sunny day which meant that most of my photos weren’t clear– just kind of a fuzzy, glare-y mess. Rather like my week. And with the sun in my eyes, those photos that were clear tended to have lousy composition– off-kilter or scattered. Still a few of them turned out okay.
And so on that positive note, I’m off to enjoy a summer weekend where being scattered is a plus. On the agenda we have a walk in a county park [on the other side of town]; a meal at an English pub [in another part of town]; an art show [in an entirely different direction]; and a cocktail hour on the terrace next to the woods [out the back door]. Life may be scattered for me now, but it is good. Happy Weekend everyone!
A few months ago I was talking on the phone with a friend who happens to be in her eighties. She is a delight– mentally with it + honest to a fault. In other words, exactly who I want to be when I get to be an eightysomething.
In our conversation my friend mentioned that her granddaughter had emailed her some photos of herself with her friends. The young women had gotten dressed up and gone out to brunch together somewhere pricey. The photo of was of all of them in front of the restaurant.
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I asked my friend how her granddaughter looked in the photo and my friend said: “Cute, I guess. All the girls look alike to me, so I can’t tell which one she is. They all have long, stringy hair and carry huge purses. I think that my granddaughter is one of them.”
As we talked a bit more about kids.these.days. I chuckled to myself about me humoring a delightful older woman who was clearly confused by the obvious. I mean, how could she not know which girl was her granddaughter? Really.
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A younger friend of mine, who is not on Twitter, has a high school daughter, who is on Twitter. And as you know, I’m on Twitter. So, every once in a while I check to see what my friend’s daughter is doing on Twitter.
What I have discovered is that this girl is a good kid. She has pleasant friends, likes ice cream, doesn’t like schoolwork, likes sports, goes on dates. Nothing scathing at all– unless you consider a few swear words once in a while to be trouble. Which I don’t.
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One day last week I was glancing at the photos that my friend’s daughter had added to her Twitter feed and I saw a group shot of a bunch of teenage girls. They were all wearing skinny jeans and white t-shirts and pumps with 4″ heels. And I thought: “What a cute photo. I wonder which one is my friend’s daughter? They all look alike.”
Then it hit me. *BAM* I had just said exactly what my older friend said about her granddaughter and her friends. And I realized that I had morphed into an old woman who couldn’t distinguish one child from another.
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This means, of course, that now I must admit to my younger friend that I can’t recognize her daughter in the photo. I can’t help but wonder if my friend will politely listen to me on the phone while chuckling to herself about humoring me, a delightful older woman who is clearly confused by the obvious. I mean, I would understand where she was coming from… as I was in that same situation only a few short months ago.
THE SPECTACLED BEAN 