Highlights From August: I’m Not A Flower. I’m Not A Fork. I’m Not A Foe.

September 4, 2025 / Ally Bean / 179 Comments

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The Flower Part

Late one afternoon while sitting outside on the deck, I was ~~viciously attacked~~ dive-bombed by a hummingbird who mistook me for a flower. Why, you may be wondering, did this little piece of flightiness think I was a flower?

Here’s the scene: I was wearing a pale pink baseball cap [similar here] + a medium pink fleece top [here] + raspberry-colored moccasin slippers [on sale now here] whilst drinking a pink grapefruit Italian soda [from here] that I’d poured into a clear plastic tumbler [here] with a bright red travel lid [here].

My basically pinkish-reddish ensemble + beverage were not intended to attract hummingbirds, but I nailed it. And that little birdie with the fluttering wings couldn’t take his sparkly little eyes off me.

I was startled, but flattered.

The Fork Part

Zen-Den and I finished watching Elementary, a TV series about Sherlock Holmes re-envisioned for modern times starring Jonny Lee Miller as Sherlock and Lucy Liu as Dr. Watson. I enjoyed it and thought the final episode was a good way to end it. Apparently not all fans liked the ending, so I just wrote something potentially controversial here.

Anyhoo, like many TV shows or movies, we sometimes focus on one line that we find absurdly funny and start saying it to each other— like a goofy inside joke. And this show gave us a good one.

In a scene where Sherlock and Marcus, a NYC police detective assigned to work with Sherlock, are kicking back after a difficult day, Sherlock who is often quite full of himself tells Marcus that he knows why Marcus is so taken with him.

It’s a scene of arrogance gone wild.

Sherlock starts babbling on about how his astounding intellect magnetizes people who are then drawn to him. It’s a burden Sherlock must live with.

Marcus, who has the patience of Job when dealing with Sherlock’s ego, replies: “You’re not a magnet. And I sure as hell am not a fork.”

Thus I, too, want to establish the fact that I’m not a fork. You can’t magnetize me. Don’t even try.

The Foe Part

A friend, who seemed sincere when she said this, told me that she wanted to change something about her behavior so that she’d have more free time.

I was surprised BUT I am one to help others when they decide they want to change. To be clear I don’t believe I need to fix people, yet will help you fix yourself when you’re ready to do so. Think of me as your personal cheerleader.

A few weeks later I see this friend and compliment her on how she has changed herself, how she has followed through on doing that which she told me she wanted to do in order to have less stress in her busy life.

Welp, she lays into me for mentioning she was doing things differently now: things she told me she didn’t want to do anymore.

This was her idea, remember?

She got on her high horse and lectured me about how her well established M.O. was what she was known for and no way would she ever change it for fear of not being known for it.

This was slightly unhinged thinking— and a complete 180º from what she’d confided in me a few weeks earlier.

Obviously at this point I had a decision to make: do I remind her of what she told me about how she wanted to change? Or do I let the conversation drop knowing the more I say, the more she’ll think of me as her foe.

Thus I let the conversation drop, realizing that being a cheerleader for some people is a sure way of irritating them.

Go figure, huh?

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SO I’M BACK

WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

TELL ALL IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

I NEED TO KNOW!

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The One About An Empathetic Chatbot, A Crazy Quilt Garden, & An August Blogging Break

July 29, 2025 / Ally Bean / 230 Comments

A REMINDER THAT COMMUNICATION CAN BE TRICKY

Thanks to Marie I learned about a TV series called Astrid. It’s a drama about a woman [Astrid] with Asperger’s syndrome who works for the police in their library. She loves puzzles, remembers everything, and helps the police solve crimes.

The series does a good job of presenting Astrid and all her quirks in a thoughtful way. She’s socially awkward but not mean-spirited. She is neurodivergent, not always catching onto the subtext of conversations or situations.

Social cues escape her, strict habits keep her sane.

It’s fascinating to watch her and has made me more aware of the communication divide between neurotypes.

To wit, the other day I came across an article in Reuters, ‘It’s the most empathetic voice in my life’: How AI is transforming the lives of neurodivergent people. The gist of the article is that AI-powered chatbots, such as NeuroTranslator, can help neurodivergent people communicate more clearly, reducing misunderstandings.

All one has to do is ask AI about your quandary, then it’ll explain what’s happening from a neurotypical point of view.

Below is a screenshot of a conversation in which Micheal who is neurodivergent asks AI to help him understand why his wife, Jennifer who is neurotypical, took offense at his comment about her shirt. The chatbot tells him that “Neurotypicals often expect more positive feedback…” than his direct comment, thus she was peeved.

Welp, here’s the thing: With all due respect to the chatbot, I don’t see anything wrong with what Micheal said to Jennifer.

So does this mean I’m neurodivergent and don’t know it? I could envision me saying something like what Micheal said, direct & to the point. No harm, no foul.

Or thinking about it in a different way, I wonder about Jennifer’s state of mind. She seems a little neurotic to me, maybe insecure.

Granted I don’t take much of anything personally and I know to consider the source, but if Micheal told me his honest assessment of my shirt, unlike Jennifer I’d have smiled and said “thanks.”

No big deal.

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A LOOK AT MY CRAZY QUILT GARDEN, A WORK IN PROGRESS

I’m calling my latest attempt at creating a butterfly garden as a Crazy Quilt Garden.

Crazy quilts were popular in the late 1800s. Victorian women created them using a patchwork of irregularly-shaped fabric piece sewn together then embellished with embroidery, ribbon, beads, and lace. The resulting quilts were idiosyncratic works of art with no repeating motifs like you see in Amish quilts.

Because I wasn’t happy with our rigidly organized flower garden with its repeating motifs, last fall I pulled out most of the perennials with the intention of creating a less organized ‘country-style’ garden for the butterflies and bees. I wanted a purposely mixed-up garden like a crazy quilt.

I left the roses, salvia, Russian sage, and milkweed because they were/are thriving and make a good backbone for this little area. Then this past spring I planted some new perennials [bee balm, daisies, Pentas, and rudbeckia] plus a few herbs [basil, thyme, mint, dill, and rosemary] that I knew were popular with butterflies and bees.

I also tossed in some marigolds, an annual, to add dots of color. Plus scattered some zinnia seeds for fun. So far everything has grown [except the dill] and is looking a little wild and raggedy like I’d hoped it would. But there’ve been no butterflies only bees which is good, but not cool like having butterflies around.

Still I am hopeful.

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A PLAN TO NOT BE HERE IN AUGUST

If you’ve followed The Spectacled Bean for a while you know that I often take a blogging break in August. I don’t like August. The heat & humidity + the pollen makes me itchy, twitchy, and bitchy.

While I admit that being bitchy can be a great catalyst for interesting blog posts, the itchy and twitchy part requires that I get cozy with the girls— Pat, Vertie, and Flo. I’m talking about Pataday eye drops, Alavert antihistamine pills, and Flonase nasal spray.

Meds for seasonal allergies, ‘ya know.

And the thing is that the girls make me tired so that writing seems like a chore instead of a joy. And I won’t let blogging become a chore. That would never do.

Soooo I’m ducking out of blogland for the month of August. I hope to return in September after allergy season is history for me.

Later, kids!

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Are you fascinated by the ways in which people communicate? Are you aware of anyone in your life who is neurodivergent?

Do you have a flower garden? And if so, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow? Do you have butterflies and bees?

Does anyone have fun plans for August? Just because I dislike the month doesn’t mean I expect anyone else to feel the same way.

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You Are The Sunshine Of My Life: 8 Things To Tell You On A Tuesday In July

July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 266 Comments

I am peeved. Last week WP spontaneously published this content before I’d finished writing it. When I realized the mistake I deleted what I’d started, SWORE AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, & started over again to write this. To say I’m not pleased with WP would be an understatement. However many thanks to everyone who received a half-finished email & let me know something was off. Bloggy friends are the best.

I am fascinated. Do you know what a “nurdle” is? I didn’t until I stumbled over this article, Why Is a Blob of Toothpaste Called a “Nurdle?” While this nonsensical term has more to do with Madison Avenue than anything medical, it was used in a 1960s toothpaste advertisement for a brand of toothpaste called Vote. The best part of this snippet of advertising history is that the tagline for this now defunct toothpaste was: “A nurdle a day keeps the dragon away.” Words to live by, people.

I am uncertain. Recently an acquaintance told me why she doesn’t like personal blogs. Over the years I’ve heard many reasons why blogs suck, but her reason surprised me. She ignores them because she says “everyone does the same thing.”

She was referring to challenges &/or prompts wherein a group of like-minded bloggers commit to sharing their takes on the same topic. She finds that boring because she perceives no originality, only conformity. I take her point, but isn’t showing up in whatever way suits you, follower or free spirit, the whole point of personal blogging?

I am entertained. While checking out a new-to-me color at Sherwin-Williams called Slumber Sloth [9606], I found this Sherwin-Williams Color ID Quiz. Quizzes call to me. I took the quiz and learned that I am a Dreamer. Who’d probably sleep soundly in a room painted Slumber Sloth, don’t ‘ya suppose?

I am amused. For Christmas I got a page-a-day Peanuts calendar. It’s cute, featuring 6 comics per week total. From this calendar I learned that Charlie Brown’s favorite baseball team, a bush league team of course, is the Waffletown Syrups managed by Joe Shlabotnik. Because of course it was.

I am impressed. Never have I ever given a Bic pen a second thought. They just exist, ‘ya know? But come to find out they’re considered a game changer, a big deal in the world of pens. Read How the BIC Cristal Ballpoint Pen Became the Most Successful Product in History to learn more.

I am charmed. Well if you don’t find this link, Owls in Towels, to be about the sweetest ding-dang-darned thing that you ever did see, then are you even alive? ‘Nuff said. Go check it out.

I am snarky. The following is a WaPo chart about humidity. It’s a pretty chart in which a dew point number is correlated to how it feels to experience this dew point. This is all well and good if you happen to have straight hair, but I’m a woman with naturally curly frizzy hair all. the. time. THUS if I take this information verbatim I’m always living in a world with high humidity, aren’t I? And that just ain’t so.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

📌 On average how many nurdles a day do you use?

📌 If you’re a blogger do you do challenges &/or prompts? Thinking about them in general do you feel they:

empower you by providing you with a sense of community?
focus you by pointing you and your energy in one tangible direction?
restrict you by telling you what to do, but not how to do it?
limit you by squelching your inclination to do your own thing?
other?

📌 Would you paint your walls Slumber Sloth? If you took the S-W quiz what did your results tell you about you? Do you agree with the assessment?

📌 Got frizzy hair? How do you tame it? Or like me, have you given up on the idea?

📌 Anyone else about had it with WP? If so, whatcha gonna do about it?

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The One About Affirmations & Allergies & Assertiveness, Oh My!

April 2, 2025 / Ally Bean / 211 Comments

The Affirmation Part

As I’m sure you realize, my little cherry blossoms of joy, there’s a difference between quotes and affirmations.

Quotes are thoughts said by someone. Ideally a quote, when properly sourced, is from an authority— maybe a person like a novelist or poet or songwriter OR from a well-known book or movie or TV show. When examined in their context quotes add depth to your thinking, speaking, writing.

Affirmations on the other hand are sayings that provide generic emotional support or encouragement. They tend to be popular ideas, often reflecting the existential angst of the era in which the affirmation originates. While an affirmation may be motivating for one person, it could just as easily be dismissed as poppycock by another person.

So keeping the foregoing in mind I share an affirmation that dropped into my sneezy life as I was scrolling along the interwebs. It stopped me long enough for me to muse upon its meaning | wisdom | value.

And how it could be a reflection of the times in which we live. The need to feel some control over something is powerful in the best of times and doubly so in our socially-mediated times. Maybe more so than in the past.

N’est-ce pas?

The Allergy Part

Without a second thought I can tell you the 3 months I like the best: October [at the top] – May – January. Then there are six other months I’m indifferent to, followed by the 3 months I dislike the most: February – August – April [at the bottom].

I apologize to people with April birthdays and wedding anniversaries, but for me April is a lousy month. This is because of ALLERGIES.

You see, I suffer from what the allergy doctors refer to as Rose Fever, the springtime equivalent to late summer’s Hay Fever [which I also suffer from]. While Hay Fever makes me tired, Rose Fever makes me irritable & leaves me feeling churlish.

It aggravates me in ways that fuel my natural penchant for being snarky, which I admit may work to my benefit. People tell me it’s my sassiness that draws them to this blog.

Thus this is where I find myself today, a woman muttering about her drippy nose, eyes that won’t focus, itchy skin, a mild never-ending headache, and the ability to sneeze loudly enough to startle Z-D when I’m downstairs and he’s upstairs on the other side of the house.

True story, really happened!

The Assertiveness Part

While researching something unrelated to that which follows I stumbled over another interesting online test that I had to take. I have a thing for them and from what I can tell so do my bloggy friends.

I realize I’ve been known to say that I believe life is one big ole test with a few pop quizzes along the way. I was being figurative but maybe for me it’s a literal thing.

Anyhoo I took the simple + fast Psychology Today’s Assertiveness Test that helps you determine how confident | bold | decisive you are.

From my results I learned that on a scale of 0 to 100 I rate 73. This puts me in the Somewhat Assertive range which means I’m an “effective communicator” who respects other people.

It also confirmed that I know that my “thoughts and feelings have value.”

Since becoming an adult I doubt there has rarely been a time when I didn’t know that my thoughts and feelings had value, but it’s good to have outside confirmation.

I guess…