The Tale Of Diligent Dave & The Wily Fiber Optic Cable

December 2, 2022 / Ally Bean / 229 Comments

We were told that the switch from coaxial cable to fiber optic cable would happen on Wednesday from 8:00 a.m. to noon. Here’s what actually happened.

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This is my DIY standing desk arrangement. It’s a wonderful use for the 1966 50th Anniversary Edition of the World Book Encyclopedia.

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The following will please the optimists, inform the curious, disappoint the naysayers, and entertain the pre-amused…

At 3:00 p.m. on Tuesday we got a knock on the front door from a man who told us he was going to be digging a trench through the yard where the new cable would be buried. He did so without any fuss.

At 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday, only a half hour late, a man who I shall call Diligent Dave but Z-D refers to as That Kid, pulled into our driveway to start things rolling. Diligent Dave sat inside his truck for a while goofing around on a computer, wandered around our front yard a few times, then backed out of our driveway and drove up & down our street many times.

At 9:30 a.m. Diligent Dave came to the front door and told us:

there was something wrong, his computer indicated that the connection to the above ground fiber optic utility box on the street didn’t exist even though lines had been installed on this street earlier in the fall;
he had called the department that installed the lines to have someone come out to find out what was wrong; and
he could come inside the house and start running the cable line from the basement up to the home office while we waited to see IF the connection outside on the street really did exist.

At 11:00 a.m. a man, let’s call him Happy Henry, from the outside installation department came to the front door to talk with Diligent Dave. They chatted about what wasn’t happening.

At 11:30 a.m. two trucks, each driven by one man, arrived. After conferring with Happy Henry those two men pulled out a table and some tools. They went into the neighbor’s yard where they set up the table and started messing around with the above ground fiber optic utility box, hoping to find our house’s particular cable connection inside it.

At 12:15 p.m. a miracle occurred and voilà the “missing” outside fiber optic cable connection was found, meaning that all we needed now was for Diligent Dave to finish his job.

At 1:15 p.m. Diligent Dave succeeded in getting the cable line across the ceiling in the basement, up through the wall and into the home office… behind my desk.

At 1:20 p.m. Z-D and Diligent Dave carefully moved my desk with all the stuff on it [my desktop computer, Keyzia, included] away from the wall so that Diligent Dave could fiddle around near the baseboard and attach a small magical box to the wall.

At 1:30 p.m. our fiber optic cable connection happened. Then under Diligent Dave’s watchful eye we started testing all our electronic gadgets [computers, phones, iPad, TVs] to confirm that the wifi, now connected to the fiber optic cable, was indeed working as advertised. It was.

At 1:45 p.m. after Z-D and Diligent Dave moved my desk back into place, Diligent Dave left and there was joy in the land.

But, of course, there is more to the story, the After Party so to speak…

Once Diligent Dave left the house Zen-Den and I ducked out of the house to go to the grocery. At 2:30 p.m. whilst in the midst of shopping in the grocery we received a phone call from a slightly frantic Diligent Dave who had left his tool bag in our basement and REALLY needed it to be able to do his next appointment at 3:00 p.m.

Thus we quickly bought our food, rushed home [a 10 minute drive] so we could retrieve Diligent Dave’s tool bag in our basement and hand it to him. He was pleased, expressing thanks, telling us that his next job was only 8 minutes away so he’d be there to start it on time.

Unlike our job where he showed up a half hour late BUT who doesn’t like a touch of innocent irony to go along with their new scary fast fiber optic cable?

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Questions of the daY

Regardless of the type of computer you use, do you have a sitting or standing desk? Or do you prefer to sit at a table? Or to plop your computer onto your lap?

Do you know how you get your internet connection in your home? Do you like it?

Considering that Zen-Den continues to refer to Diligent Dave as That Kid, do you believe, like I do, that Z-D the recently semi-retired is well on his way to becoming an old codger?

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Hocus Pocus Tuesday Focus: Five Useful Questions + Five Autumn Photos

October 25, 2022 / Ally Bean / 213 Comments

And now for something different…

From what I can tell Seth Godin [marketing guru, author, lecturer] is a master at getting people to think about their projects, or their lives, in a new light.

He does this by asking generic questions that nudge you, the self-aware reader of said questions, to answer them in such a way as to frame your project/life differently and go forth with a renewed sense of purpose.

And isn’t that magical, by cracky!

Which brings me to today, a Tuesday, the day on which I plan on publishing a personal blog post, one that answers the most basic of basic question: What up, Buttercup?

But alas & alack on this Tuesday I’ve nothing in particular to talk about, nor has anything interesting happened that is worthy of a blog post.

However, be that as it may, today instead of my usual flapdoodle and twaddle I shall charm you, my little hobgoblins, by answering the following questions that are perhaps meant for business projects, but equally useful when conjuring a personal blog post.

Seth’s Five Useful Questions

🔶 What’s the hard part?

I find that keeping the leaves out of your wine glass is the hardest part. You’d be amazed how many leaves try to jump into the glass.

🔶 How are you spending your time?

Autumn is my favorite season so I’m doing everything I can to enjoy it by going outside to walk, to rake, to sit, to muse upon the meaning of life.

🔶 What do you need to know?

I need to know where the rake is. And a broom, too. Maybe even the electric leaf blower if I can find the cord for it. There be leaves everywhere.

🔶 What is the scary part?

The scary part is climbing on a ladder to get the leaves out of gutters. We only clear the gutter you see in this photo, then in November the window washer guy will remove the rest of the leaves from all the gutters.

🔶 Is it worth it?

I believe it is. I like living among deciduous trees for many reasons, but mostly because I enjoy seeing the leaves change colors in the fall. Besides what’s a few hours of working in the yard, raking leaves, when there’s beauty all around?

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WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU? WHAT’S MAGICAL IN YOUR LIFE TODAY? BEWITCH US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

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The Tale Of The Accidentally Purloined Bag Of Potato Chips

October 18, 2022 / Ally Bean / 248 Comments

LIKE MISCREANTS EVERYWHERE I’M GOING to say this wasn’t my fault because, as I will explain below, it was an accident.

Nothing pre-meditated about this.

Just a minor tussle involving a fast-moving me and a fussy computer in the U-scan checkout lane in the grocery store that lead to an unanticipated situation.

You see…

It was late afternoon and I was using the U-scan checkout lane in Kroger. I like the self-checkout lane because it’s usually faster than waiting in line for the traditional checkout.

Plus, and I’m bragging here, I am very good at finding the little UPC codes on what I’m buying, expertly swiping the code across the flat UPC barcode reading screen, then tossing my purchase into the reusable bags I swear by.

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HOWEVER ON THIS PARTICULAR DAY in my zeal for checking out of the store, while grabbing a bag of potato chips out of my shopping cart, I twisted around in such a way that my crossbody purse did a little flying leap away from my body and landed on the flat UPC barcode reading screen.

PLOP!

Then for reasons known only to the computer, it immediately jumped ahead to the part of the transaction that asks you how you’re going to pay for these items.

But I wasn’t finished inputing all my items.

So being tired and in a hurry, without thinking much about it, I laid the bag of potato chips, not properly swiped, on top of the stuff already packed in my reusable bag.

Then I focused my energies on coaxing the computer, Little Miss Touchy Screen, to allow me to continue shopping. I was victorious, because I know all about that ⬅️ key that lets you keep buying stuff.

I input a few more items, the rest of what I wanted to buy, then paid for my purchases using a credit card, grabbed my bags, and walked to my car where I placed the bags in the trunk.

I drove home.

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BUT AS I DID SO I had a slow realization, the sort that sneaks up on you in the most unlikely places, like at a stoplight while you’re waiting for it to turn green, that it was possible I had accidentally stolen that bag of potato chips, a small bag I assure you, from Kroger.

And you know what? When I got home I checked my register receipt and well… yep I stole a bag of potato chips… like a thief… a perp… which I am not… except maybe I was.

And here’s the thing because all perps have a thing, if interrogated by the Coppers I’m gonna squeal on my accomplice in this unfortunate situation. IT WAS THAT DARNED COMPUTER’S FAULT for getting flustered.

I mean what kind of wuss is that thing? It wasn’t like I hit it with the heft of a heavy leather Hermès Birkin Bag, now was it? It was only a lightweight nylon baggallini Uptown Bagg, a sleek crossbody.

Honestly, I didn’t mean to do this.

You believe me, right?

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**A few other oops stories about situations at Ye Olde K. Roger…**

In Which Ms. Bean Is An Accessory After The Fact, Maybe [2018]

Carelessness, Coupons, And Cake– OH MY! [2017]

The One About The Friend, The Dog & The Suburban Grocery Store Salad Bar [2014]

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Unexpected Good News Regarding Our Bathroom Remodeling Projects

October 5, 2022October 5, 2022 / Ally Bean / 230 Comments

➡️ If you read The Spectacled Bean because you like to see me get snarky, thank you but this post isn’t going to be one of those posts.

Instead today I’m going to share a slice-of-life story that has a positive spin to it. One that’s left me feeling all warm and happy inside about, of all things, a home improvement company.

They’re not all scoundrels.

Also I’m going to talk briefly about money which I know is tacky but in this case, under these circumstances, I’m going to ignore that [outdated?] rule of decorum.

➡️ Here’s what happened.

You may remember that we had our bathrooms remodeled earlier this year. We started planning the project last fall, but because of supply chain difficulties the actual destruction of the old bathrooms/installation of the new bathrooms began in May.

In the interim between fall 2021 and May 2022 we made MANY decisions about things that go into a bathroom. Some decisions held firm, but others had to be re-decided along the way, sometime multiple times, because what we wanted was no longer available– or would be available at an unspecified time in the future.

To keep the project moving forward we changed our minds MANY times because honestly we/I couldn’t be bothered to worry about slight changes in bathroom decor.

[One transitional-style toilet paper holder in brushed nickel is about the same as another one, right?]

I also couldn’t be bothered to keep strict account of the addendums that reflected the MANY changes we made along the way.

I. just. couldn’t.

➡️ In August 2022 the projects were finished, we were pleased with our new bathrooms, and we made our final payment to the home improvement company, thinking no more about it. HOWEVER, come to find out courtesy of their accounting department, we overpaid by $281.00.

Now this company could easily have never told us this and we’d never have figured it out, BUT they did tell us and sent along a check to reimburse us.

Below is the what was written on the post-it note affixed to the check. It’s an indication of why we’ve used this particular remodeling company for MANY projects.

And so with that I’ll end this upbeat post about goodwill + honesty. You gotta support the good ones.

Any good news, unexpected or expected, you’d like to share, my wordy cherubim? 😇

Please tell all in the comment section below.

No Grimness Allowed Here: 1 Wonderful Quote + 3 Wacky Quandaries

September 27, 2022December 8, 2022 / Ally Bean / 224 Comments

David Oglivy is a businessman who is known as the Father of Advertising. More about him here.

ONE

YOU’RE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR REFRIGERATOR getting some ice from the freezer compartment. An ice cube falls out and lands on the floor at your feet. Do you:

pick it up and use it;
pick it up and put it in the kitchen sink to melt; or
kick it under the refrigerator to melt there?

TWO

SHOPPING IN MACY’S WOMEN’S LINGERIE DEPARTMENT I overheard a woman telling her friend that she had to buy bras and undies that match because her husband insists that she wear matching ones. This baffled me in MANY ways:

why is this woman in a relationship with such a domineering man– OR is she making this up so she can rationalize spending more money on unmentionables? [my guess is the latter not the former]
if she wears black pants and a white blouse, does she go with all dark undergarments knowing that you’ll see her bra through the white fabric OR does she wear all light undergarments hoping there’s no indication of light undies under her black pants? [a decision tree for this would be helpful]
asking Z-D if he knew what color bra and undies I wore each day, his reply was that he didn’t know, adding that he preferred to see me out of them rather than in them [ain’t he a pip?]

THREE

YOU HAVE ALEXA IN YOUR HOUSE AND every morning you ask her for the day’s local weather forecast. For months she tells you the forecast, then adds “have a good day, Ally.” She is your friend, until one day after telling you the forecast she unexpectedly stops referring to you by name, not even bothering to wish you a good day. Do you: