Breakfast In The Afternoon On The Way To Being Charitable

February 2, 2016January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 26 Comments

While I’ve no doubt my readers know what a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin looks like, I present this image for future Historians who 200 years hence will need a visual to understand this post. Historians, you may thank me in the footnotes of your doctoral theses.

I had my first afternoon Egg McMuffin last week.

It was late Thursday afternoon, and Z-D & I were on our way to Habitat for Humanity to drop off our old, but still usable, outdoor light fixtures that have been in my way in the garage for months.

[We replaced them last autumn with new black ones that use LED bulbs, with clear beveled glass– and the value of our home doubled. Really. The improvement is amazing.]

I was feeling peckish as we drove along, and in a moment of inspiration I directed Zen-Den to stop at the next McDonald’s so that I could feast on the one item I like at McDonald’s.

[Also I wanted a cup of black coffee. They have good coffee, which I needed to wash down my formerly unavailable after 10:30 a.m. sandwich delight.]

Hello again future Historians. This logo, which we saw all over the Habitat for Humanity ReStore, was easy to recognize as we followed the signs on the streets through a working part of town. Once at the store a friendly employee helped us unload our donations to the store.

So he did.

And I got an Egg McMuffin, which might have been the best one I’ve ever eaten. A bit of an exaggeration, but it was good.

Especially at the “wrong” time of day.

Eaten in rush hour traffic while someone else chauffeured me around the city on our way to doing good.

Talk about your win-win situation. 😉

In Which I Grumble Upon Learning My Husband’s Ringtone For Me

January 26, 2016January 9, 2017 / Ally Bean / 54 Comments

My cell phone, which is a flip phone and about 10 years old [don’t judge], has decided to stop me from writing or receiving texts.

Thus it came to be that instead of texting my husband, which is how we usually communicate, I phoned Zen-Den– and learned a little something about what he really thinks of me.

• • •

Him: Hey it’s you! Forgot what your ringtone was.

Me: Yep, can’t text, so must call. What’s my ringtone?

Him: Some organ music.

Me: Like from the movie The Big Chill? You can’t always get what you want… I’m what you need?!

Him: No, that’s not it…

Me: Like a church organ playing Amazing Grace? How sweet the sound… I’m your honey?!

Him: No, that’s not it either…

Me: Well, what is it then?

Him: It’s organ music like you’d hear at the intermission of a hockey game while the Zamboni man resurfaces the ice in the rink.

Me: Huh? THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE GOT ON YOUR PHONE FOR ME?!! You’ve got an iPhone that lets you download about eleven gazillion plus seven songs, and that’s what you pick for me?

Him: Uh huh. It was easy to find and put on the phone.

Me: So besides being useful for cleaning floors, I’m easy– AND NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO FIND A BETTER SONG FOR MY RINGTONE. That’s what you’re saying?!!

Him: Yes?

Me: I see. Now I know. Okay then.

Him: Well what do you want me to put on there for you? Black Sabbath?

• • •

That’s when I let the topic drop because I wanted Zen-Den to do something for me, and in that moment it didn’t seem to be in my best interest to press the issue.

However, this is a different moment.

And I’ve been thinking about Zen-Den’s ringtone for moi, which I believe is entirely wrong. In many ways. On lots of levels.

In other words, I don’t like it.

• • •

All of this leads to my question of the day, which is:

Given your druthers, what ringtone song do you prefer to represent you on someone else’s phone?

I need a few suggestions here. A marriage hangs in the balance.

• • •

Mourning The Loss Of A Dream, As One Does

January 14, 2016January 14, 2016 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

Dream big, they say.

Never give up, they tell us.

Winners do whatever it takes, they assure you.

But sometimes, just sometimes, common sense dictates that you have to give up because…

IT AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN.

Unless there’s an extra $5,000.00 floating around in your life.

Or you’re emotionally unbalanced and prefer to live with something broken instead of fixed, I guess.

But for Zen-Den, a man with a dream, cursed with common sense, grounded in reality, it’s over.

Kaput.

Yes, Zen-Den’s dream of watching his vehicle’s odometer turn over 300,000 miles is not to be.

You see, after 16 years and 254,000 miles, Bullwinkle, Zen-Den’s trusted ~~steed~~ Lexus SUV, is on the critical list…

MOVING, BUT ON BORROWED TIME.

Not expected to make it through the winter due to exhaust system problems.

Living out his final days, hobbling to and from work, as Zen-Den is forced to start looking for his replacement.

Still a beloved part of the family, but not for long.

How I Plan To Have A Happy Holiday Season This December

December 1, 2015December 1, 2015 / Ally Bean / 37 Comments

#1 – Decorate outside early. Decorate everywhere simply.

Slowly our neighborhood is transforming into a holiday wonderland.

Those of us who don’t do Black Friday spent last Friday, a warmish, dry day, putting out holiday decorations. Everyone who I saw outside seemed happy, although a few people were mowing their lawns for reasons unclear to me.

But whatevs.

We never do more exterior decorating than a couple of lighted wreaths on two windows and a few nets of multi-colored lights on some bushes by the front door.

As for the inside of the house, we’ve gone with one skinny decorated Christmas tree in the TV room, a small jingle bell wreath on the hutch in the kitchen, an antique nativity scene in the dining room, a growing Amaryllis in the living room + a stack of cutesy decorative boxes in the foyer in place of fresh flowers.

EZPZ. And it’s festive enough.

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#2 – Do not have a big holiday office party at The house.

For the first time in five years we aren’t having a holiday party on the first Friday in December.

This means that we haven’t needed to move half of our furniture into the basement or garage so that our 50+ guests have somewhere to stand. We don’t have cases of wine and beer and other libations piled in the garage.

We aren’t running to the grocery to buy all the ingredients to make dips and create cheese plates. And we have not ordered even one plate of sandwiches or cookies that need to be picked up after 4:00 pm the day of the party.

To say I feel carefree and giddy this week is an understatement.

Not being a hostess rocks.

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#3 – Disengage from the holiday crazy whenever possible.

Considering I decided that 2015 would be the year of the recluse, my holiday social calendar is delightfully almost empty.

To wit, I’m doing one special event each week in December. This way I hope to not be overwhelmed with travel and holiday attire and food + booze and Christmas-obsessed extraverted people who ~~inexplicably~~ enjoy this time of year.

Nope, this year I’m putting myself in the holiday mood by avoiding as much of the holiday hoopla as I can.

Paradoxical, perhaps. But that’s my happy plan.

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AND YOU, MY GENTLE READERS, WHAT’S UP WITH YOU THIS MONTH OF ~~FORCED FRIVOLITY~~ DECEMBER? TELL ALL IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

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