Suburbia

The One About The Stink Bug Hunter & His Preferred Tools Of The Trade

/ Ally Bean / 286 Comments

Photo via Washington Post

Our May temperatures have been warmer than normal, enticing brown marmorated stink bugs to emerge earlier than usual from their winter digs. While they cause no structural damage to buildings, they are a nuisance.

Kind of creepy to see in my opinion.

We rarely find them inside the house [unlike the roller shade situation earlier this year], but notice them when we sit on our screened-in porch.

One of us [not me] has decided to wage war against them, like the semi-retired suburbanite that he is. While Indiana Jones had his hat & a whip, Zen-Den has his fly swatter & toilet paper.

The fly swatter he uses to slap stink bugs off the screens or walls;  the toilet paper he uses to pick them up and squish them before he flushes them down the toilet. He is on a mission, carrying these items with him whenever he steps onto the porch.

The Stink Bug Hunter’s preferred weapons.

Thus equipped with the items seen in the photo immediately above Zen-Den has become a menace to stink bugs. He stalks them while we sit, ostensibly to relax, on the screened-in porch.

He is ever vigilant.

Hence I’ve learned to put my preferred beverage into a Tervis with a lid so that stink bugs, pursued by my sweet baboo the Stink Bug Hunter don’t land in my drink.

As they are wont to do.

And further, as a long-time married person who sees humor in many things, I’m entertained, enthralled even, by the tenacity of a man who has decided to attempt to reign victorious over stink bugs.

As if that’s going to happen. 🙄

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QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What kind of insect do you dislike the most? When confronted with them do you jump into action like Zen-Den to kill said insect?

Are you, like me, a fan of sitting outside with a beverage at hand? If so, factoring in the time of day, what is your preferred beverage? Do you need to have a lid to put on top of it?

What’s new with you? Got any tales to tell about your life in the merry month of May?

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Goofing Off On A Friday Afternoon, I Ponder A Pretty Sign

/ Ally Bean / 214 Comments

Lean in closely, my gentle readers, while I tell you a secret: sometimes I hesitate to tell you what we’ve been up to.

The thing is, and isn’t there always one, I wouldn’t want you to be jealous of our exciting suburban lives. That would never do. I’m not here to gloat over anything, I’m here to share the nitty gritty flapdoodle and twaddle of our daily lives.

Considering we’re all friends here, I’m sure that once you learn what Z-D and I did last Friday afternoon, you’ll understand how we roll. You’ll get a clue into our psyches and how we make our own fun.

You see, after traipsing around Ikea for an hour or more, buying an $8 dish drainer for the kitchen sink, we were high on the joy that comes from a successful shopping adventure. So as we were driving home, on a whim, for a change of pace, we decided to stop at a large unique garden decor center to see what was going on there.

And to get in a few more steps.

Unlike the modern indoor international Ikea vibe, this old-fashioned outdoor locally-owned garden decor center is funky. It sits on acres of land with an old farmhouse at the front of the property and seemingly endless merchandise behind it.

In fact at this time of year everywhere you look there are displays of pots and fountains and stepping stones and birdbaths and gazing globes and pond supplies.

When we pulled into the parking lot we parked in front of the sign you see in the large photo at the top of this post. This sign directs you, the customer, to go one way or the other way around the house.

Unlike Ikea there aren’t multiple ways to walk through this place. Here you must decide between two options about which way you’ll go.

That is, you can meander along the Scenic Route that wraps around the front of the property where there is inspiration, like fountains and ponds, paths and statuary, but nothing for sale.

OR

You can go the opposite way that leads directly to the Main Entrance [ironically behind the house] where you find what you need, pay for it, then have it loaded into your vehicle.

I’m not going to tell you which path we chose, but I’m going to say that my heart skipped a beat & I did a little happy dance when I realized that the sign in the parking lot was a “blogging question of the day” found in the wild!

And considering I had nothing planned to write about this week, how fortuitous is that? 😊

Questions of the Day

• When’s the last time you decided to spontaneously go somewhere for no other reason than you were driving or walking by?

• If you shop in brick and mortar big box stores, do you visit with a specific purpose, OR do you go for reconnaissance, OR do you go there to walk & window shop, OR for some other reason?

• If you shop in locally-owned businesses near you, what’s your favorite one? And why?

• Thinking in an introspective way about what makes you tick: do you usually prefer to meander [scenic route] or to be direct [main entrance]?

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The One About Spring Cleaning, Taking A Tumble, And Discussion Of Said

/ Ally Bean / 248 Comments

The Spring Cleaning Part

Last week we decided to do a proper spring cleaning on the first floor of our house. It’s almost all wood flooring, the outliers being the powder room and the laundry room that have tile floors.

As you can imagine cleaning and waxing all the wood floors means moving furniture, rugs, plants, lamps, decorative items from one room to another; then moving them back from whence they came.

Please note that we’re not obsessive about doing all the spring cleaning in one day, like we were when we were younger and working and being social butterflies who had places to go, people to meet.

No, now we go with the flow and take our time.

Over a few days.

The Tumble Part

Well, we’d done the floors in all the rooms except the living room. And I suppose I was feeling a little cocky about how efficiently we’d moved furniture and such around the first floor, like pros.

But pride goeth before the fall, people. [No pun intended but it is one.]

So as we were carrying the rolled up 8′ x 10′ heavy wool rug + pad back into the living room preparing to place it just so, I lost my balance on the slick clean waxed floor and dramatically, albeit slowly, fell down, KERPLUNK.

At this point, if’n we were a younger married couple, my true love would have rushed to my side making sure I was uninjured.

However as a much older married couple my true love knows I’m clumsy as all get out, so he just looked at me in a heap on the floor and said: “it’s just a few more steps to get the rug into place, you gonna help?” 

Thus prompted by his *concern* I stood up, doublechecking the knee on which I’d fallen to see if it still worked. And it did. As did my toes that had gotten twisted around and smashed when I sat unceremoniously on them.

No harm, no foul.

The Discussion Part

Now the foregoing isn’t meant to be a motherly warning against wearing only socks on your feet when you move heavy items around on wood floors, which I think we can agree might not have been, in retrospect, a good idea.

Instead think of this tale as the precursor to the conversation that followed in which we discussed what I could/should/might say to our primary care physician when I go for my annual physical checkup wherein she’ll ask: have you fallen in the last year?

The answer to this question is, of course, dependent upon how you choose to define “fall.” To wit:

Is a fall any incident wherein you find yourself unintentionally down on the floor/ground despite the unusualness of the situation? Such as what happened to me while helping with the rug, something that might be classified as a minor mishap, merely a slip.

OR

Is a fall specifically when you lose your balance unexpectedly whilst doing something normal like walking around your house, your neighborhood, a store, a park, wherever? Such as tripping over something, or having a stroke-like moment, resulting in a serious keeling over out of nowhere. 

I await your insightful comments, my little moonbeams of good health. Trust me when I say this has been an ongoing, unresolved, conversation here at Chez Bean.

What say ye?

A Sweet Story About A Stroller, A Stumble, And A Stranger

/ Ally Bean / 245 Comments

I’ve no particular reason to write about this other than to confirm that things can go sideways quickly and that random acts of kindness still happen, sometimes right in front of your eyes.

I WAS WAITING FOR the mail to arrive. We live on the curve on this suburban street so I can see the USPS mail truck coming from a long way off.

I realized the mail would be here in a minute or two so I sat down in the living room and stared out the window. It was mid afternoon when there are few vehicles driving around. The day was clear and sunny, in the 50s F so a beautiful day for everything.

I saw a young mom and dad out running while pushing a stroller with a small baby in it as they jogged along the street in the direction that slopes gently downhill toward a gully.

I watched as the dad nodded to the mom then took off downhill at a faster speed while she pushed the stroller at a decent pace, stepping like a metronome to her own beat. All was good until the mom tripped, lost her balance, and tried to catch herself on our neighbor’s mailbox post.

As she fell to her knees, hanging onto the mailbox post, she lost control of the stroller and inadvertently gave the stroller with the baby in it a huge push that caused it to roll quickly down the middle of the street.

Unattended.

Rolling along like nobody’s business.

She screamed to her husband for help but he had earbuds in and didn’t hear her.

HOWEVER AN OLDER MAN, probably in his mid-70s who I see walking slowly up this street every afternoon, saw what happened and, I kid you not, sprinted up the middle of the street toward the stroller.

He was flailing his arms and yelling at the dad who eventually turned around to see a stranger running to stop his baby’s stroller as it gained momentum rolling down the hill and his wife on her knees a few houses back while shouting at him to get. the. baby.

At this point the dad, who clearly didn’t know how this could have happened so quickly, looked so gobsmacked that I couldn’t help but smile at the dude.

Well the older man pushed the stroller back up the slight hill to the mother and went back to walking. The dad came back to the mailbox post and hugged the mom who’d gotten to her feet.

And while the mother was a heap of nerves, shaking, crying, grabbing for the baby, it’ll come as no surprise to you to learn that the baby and the dad and the older man were fine.

However after a minute, having regained her composure while wiggling her ankle around in small circles, the young couple with the baby turned around and walked back up the slight hill in the direction they’d come from both holding onto the stroller.

NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED YET it was one of those moments in time, that transpired in a snap, when I realized again that we all depend, in some way or another, on strangers to help us get by.

Plus, being a pragmatic soul, I also realized that I do hope this young couple invests in a stroller wrist strap. Seems like it might be a good idea, all things considered.

‘Ya know?

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever see something happen so quickly in front of your eyes that all you can do is watch it unfold?

Have you seen anyone do a random act of kindness lately?

If you walk or run outside on sidewalks or streets, have you ever stumbled like this mother did? If so, what happened next?

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