Reflections On Dining Early & Sharing Happiness

A FEW WEEKS AGO we drove four hours north to visit Zen-Den’s parents + his sister & her family.  It was his mother’s birthday, so it seemed like a good time to see what was up with his mother and his father. 

We arrived at his parents’ house around noon and spent the afternoon talking with them.  Then around 4:00 p.m. we drove with his parents to a brand new Outback Steakhouse where we met his sister, her husband and their teenage daughter.

We were seated at a long table with banquette seating on one side of the table and chairs on the other.  The room’s decor was modern with lots of muted dark colors in geometric patterns and large pendant lights with drum shades.  The look reminded me of my late aunt’s home which was filled with mid-century modern furniture.

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WE RARELY HAVE THE opportunity to get together with Z-D’s family so sitting in this beautiful restaurant, eating good food, chatting, laughing was special for us, for me.  It reminded me of when my parents were alive and I was a little girl.  The three of us would go out to dinner somewhere fancy, usually early because my dad refused to wait for a table.  And we would have the best time.

So with my happy past in mind, while sitting there at the Outback Steakhouse I took a moment to look around the table, to really see who was there.   And I was struck by the strangest thoughts, out of nowhere.  Fragments of my life, I suppose.

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I REALIZED THAT MY niece is the same age as I was when my father died.  That my SIL looks so relaxed & happy that she could be half her age. That my BIL, who is retiring this year, is exactly ten years younger than my mother was when she retired.  That my MIL, whose birthday we were celebrating, is turning the age that my mother was when she died.  That my FIL is so lost in the fog of Alzheimer’s that I doubt that I’ll ever visit with the real man again.

And as for Zen-Den and I, here is what I observed: we are much older now, both physically and spiritually.  In some ways, life has worn us out.  On the other hand, we’ve learned, adapted, moved on so many times that somewhere along the winding way we’ve both developed deeper understandings of relationships, beliefs, limitations– and the value of focusing on shared happiness.

At an Outback Steakhouse, for instance.  On an early Saturday evening.  While dawdling around a table after dinner.

We Went To Utah For A Long Weekend

The hubster was on business out in Salt Lake City, Utah, so I decided that it was time for me to see Utah.  He left here on Monday and I joined him there on Thursday.

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The tail of an airplane + many pigeons at Hill Air Force Base Aerospace Museum.

On Thursday afternoon Zen-Den and I went into downtown Salt Lake City so that I could see what it was all about.  SLC was just as clean and organized as I had heard that it would be.  I didn’t take any photos of the buildings or streets, but visually it was inviting.  And clean.  I mentioned that, right?  With people walking within designated painted lines on the streets in accordance with the timing of the traffic lights.  Who knew?

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The Wasatch Mountains.

We have friends who live just north of Salt Lake City and on Friday they took a day off from work to drive us around the area.  It was generous of them to do this, can’t thank them enough.  First we went to Hill Air Force Base Aerospace Museum and looked at their wonderful collection of airplanes and memorabilia– which, of course, I liked.  Then we went to lunch at Taggart’s Grill, a restaurant and bakery nestled in the Wasatch Mountains, with camera-shy pet peacocks who live in the garden around the restaurant.  The food was delicious.  Coolness.

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The Great Salt Lake.

After that we drove up through the Wasatch Mountains and then down to the edge of the Great Salt Lake.  Everywhere I turned I saw the most amazing sights– whether they were natural formations, or unique small towns, or a herd of bison living free on Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake.  Amazing.

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A herd of bison on Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake.

On Saturday Zen-Den and I drove up to the mountain resort town of Park City, Utah, to go to an art show.  Park City is home to Sundance Film Festival— and many wealthy people from the looks of it.  The community was perfect.  Like Disney perfect.  Like so planned that I worried that we’d be thrown off the set for not adhering to the director’s vision of what the town’s residents should look like.  Oh well.

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Wild sunflowers that grow as weeds along the highways in northern Utah.

That evening in Park City we had tickets to the outdoor Deer Valley Music Festival with the Utah Symphony featuring Mandy Patinkin.  He was amazing and professional with an astounding vocal range, charming personal stories and a quiet sense of humor.  Delightful.

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Starlings [I think] in a nest under the eaves.

On Sunday morning before we left we decided to drive around the University of Utah in SLC and surrounding neighborhoods.  Again, so clean.  And well-maintained.  And, I’m assuming, safe.  I say this because the capitol of Utah is in a residential neighborhood with no fences or guards around it.  The building is just sitting there.  Pretty.

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Utah daylilies in an unusual shade of orange that I’ve never seen before.

We enjoyed Utah and would like to go back there someday.  Maybe take a week and drive up into Wyoming and Idaho while we’re in the area.  Maybe take more photos of the cities– and the buildings– and the unfailingly polite people who waited on us.  That part I really, really liked.  Worth the price of the vacation alone.

Answering Your Questions, I Am [Part 1 of 2]

•  From Kate at Views and Mews by Coffee Cat… Describe your dream vacation and besides Zen-Den, is there someone you would like to share it with?

My dream vacation would be going to Australia, New Zealand & Viet Nam.  In Australia, I’d like to see a few major cities, the ocean reef and some of the outback.  In New Zealand, I’d like to see the villages, the sheep and Christ Church, which years ago I remember being dubbed as the friendliest city on earth.  And as for Viet Nam, friends have been there and thought it was amazing to see and to experience and to give perspective on the 1960s.

Along with Z-D, I’d share this vacation with friends of ours, J & E.  They are easy to travel with and enjoy tangents.  Plus they make me laugh like no one’s business so no matter what happened, we’d have a good time.

•  From Beth who I’ve known since 7th grade… What is one great childhood memory of yours? 

I remember hot, humid summers with no air conditioning.  At night, my Mom and Dad and I would hang out on the cool concrete patio at the back of the house.  It was the only place with a bit of breeze and a few lawn chairs.  While they’d be drinking an adult beverage (or two) I’d be playing on my swing set in the yard or coloring with chalk on the patio.  Or, if it was past dark, I’d be catching fireflies to put into an empty glass jar– as my parents cheered me on from their chairs.

Time stood still on those nights.  Nowhere to go.  No wish to be inside the house watching TV.  No rush to get to bed because it wasn’t a school night.  Just hanging out because we wanted to be together.

•  From Margaret at Stargazer… Why do you live where you live and what do you like best/least about it?

The simple answer is we live here because this is where Z-D found a job.  The more intriguing answer is that, although neither one of us ever wanted to live here, fate intervened.  You see, 16 years ago Z-D & I both were unhappy with our jobs, so we both quit them and lived off our savings for a year.  When we started our year off, we figured that after it we’d be moving away from here.  So during our year off we travelled around the USA looking at places we’d like to live–  keeping notes, making contacts, checking out real estate, planning our future.

However, when Z-D started sending out resumes looking for employment, the most amazing thing happened.  A company here offered him the chance to start a department, from scratch, in his favorite area of expertise.  So despite not liking the conservative, non-friendly nature of this area, we stayed.  And that’s how we ended up living here.

•  From Cheri at Naples Girl Blog… If you won the lotto, what would you do with the money? Would your lifestyle change?

If I won the lotto, I imagine that my personality wouldn’t change.  I mean that in the sense of what I’d buy or how I’d go about doing things or how I’d relate to people or what I’d give to the world.

I think that the biggest change would be in my lifestyle.  That is, I’d buy a few pieces of property around the USA.  Like a condo in downtown Chicago, perhaps.  Or a small cottage near a lake or an ocean.  Maybe an apartment in Santa Fe.  Then when suburban life bored me to tears I’d head to one of my other places to live for a few weeks or months.  I’d have lots of homes, not just one– but live the same way that I do now in each of them.

[Tomorrow, Part 2]

2 Movies, 2 Books & 1 Delightful Truth

As part of my attempt to live a more balanced life in 2013, I have given myself the assignment to watch 2 movies and to read 2 books each month.  Here is my April report.

2 Movies

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel  – Predictable + colorful.  A group of British retirees decide to move to India, embrace a new lifestyle and live in what claims to be a newly restored Indian hotel.  When they arrive, the hotel restoration is not finished, but the optimistic young man who manages the hotel tries his best to please them.  Some of the retirees adapt to India, some don’t.  The ensemble cast is delightful, the cinematography + costumes are wonderful, but there is a certain old geezer-ness to this movie that is a little monotonous.  Recommended if you like veteran actors and the idea that life is what you make of it.

The Grass Is Greener – Intriguing, albeit dated.  Because of financial problems, a British Earl and his wife [played by Cary Grant & Deborah Kerr, respectively] allow public tours of their mansion.  An American tourist [played by Robert Mitchum] falls for the wife & they have an affair.  Meanwhile, her friend [played by Jean Simmons] playfully tries to seduce the Earl.  On the surface this movie sounds trite, but the ensemble cast + witty writing make this movie entertaining.  Recommended if you enjoy 1960s style, some absurdity and learning about social mores.

2 Books

The Serpent’s Daughter [a Jade Del Cameron mystery] – Charming + clever.  Set in Tangier, Morocco, in 1920, Jade and her mother plan to go on vacation together.  However, Jade’s mother is kidnapped and Jade must find her… in time.  This mystery, by Suzanne Arruda, is campy, travelogue-y and totally fun.  Recommended if you like spunky heroines, fascinating settings and lighthearted mysteries.

A Narrative of the Life of Mrs. Mary Jemison – Amazing, but macabre.  In the 1750s during the French and Indian War in what is now western New York state, the Shawnee Indians capture a white girl and her family.  The Shawnee murder her family, but the girl goes on to live with the Seneca Indians.  She marries, has children and adopts the ways of the Indians.  When she is in her 80s she tells her story to a local white man who writes it down– in the flowery vernacular of the time.  Originally published in 1824.  Recommended if you have an interest in Colonial American History and biographies. [Free on Kindle]

1 Delightful Truth

I was surfing the web looking at design blogs, when I came upon this delightful truth by Amanda Hill.  She said: Beautiful things don’t just happen.  If you want something marvelous, you’ve got to make something marvelous.  [Punctuation added.]  

And I thought to myself: that is so true.  What good advice.  I need to take that advice to heart, henceforth.

So I have.