K Is For Klondike Bar, Kinda Clever

Screen Shot 2016-03-21 at 10.54.11 AM“What would you do for a Klondike bar?”

These lyrics are from a TV commercial jingle that is embedded in my brain.  Permanently.

Yours, too?

In fact, when I started musing on the letter “K” for this challenge, the first thing that came to my mind was Klondike Bar, which got me thinking about how I know many TV commercial jingles from memory.

You, too?

It’s annoying, yet hilarious, to realize that instead of keeping track of important adult stuff, my old brain chooses to retain a weird assortment of lyrics and tunes, learned in my childhood while watching the idiot box [aka the TV].

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• I’m sure this realization would upset me more, if I wasn’t so darned happy when singing the Oscar Mayer Bologna Song.

“My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R…”

• OR awkwardly singing and dancing along to the Dr. Pepper commercial.

“Us peppers are an interesting breed, an original taste is what we need… Be a Pepper…”

• OR belting out a soulful rendition of the Enjoli perfume commercial.

“I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget that you’re a man… ‘Cause I’m a woman…”

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All of which brings me to this very important question:

How many TV commercial jingles do you, my gentle readers, remember by heart?  You may confess in the comments below.

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F Is For Froot Loops, For Sure

Screen Shot 2016-03-21 at 10.43.08 AMJust Another Froot Loop to add To the bowl

… is one of my favorite sayings.  I first remember hearing it in the late 1990s, but other than that I don’t know its origin.

And I don’t care.

This is because when forced to listen to both sides of a longstanding neighborhood feud, I can say of it all, with detached amusement: I guess she’s just another froot loop to add to the bowl.

Which is true.  And not rude.  And gets me out of further conversation about an argument that has no definite solution, and I do not now, nor ever will, care about.

The argument being: is it better to home school or public school your children?  Like I have an opinion…?!  I don’t even have kids.

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“Luckily it hasn’t affected my appetite.”

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D Is For Doughnuts, Darn It

Screen Shot 2016-03-21 at 10.37.51 AMI’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts

… is a saying dating from 1904.  It means you are so confident about what you know that you’re willing to bet on it.  That is, a dollar has more value than a doughnut, so you are willing to give long odds, knowing that you’re going to win.

On the surface this saying has nothing to do with doughnuts, per se.  In fact, some 1880s versions of this saying were “dollars to buttons” or “dollars to dumplings.” 

There was even a “dollars to cobwebs” version of this saying.  Shocking that it didn’t catch on, eh?

But being of a contrary mind, I have to wonder if the fact that doughnuts look like little zeros contributed to the popularity, and subsequent staying power, of this particular version of the saying.

I mean think about it, once in a while who doesn’t like to talk about doughnuts [or donuts, if you lean toward the more modern spelling]?

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“Time to make the donuts.”

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B Is For Bananas, Because Why Not?

Screen Shot 2016-03-21 at 10.35.55 AMcuckoo bananas

… is a slang phrase that I stumbled upon while reading blogs.

When I began to see it written around ye olde worldwide web I needed to know what it meant.  Upon learning that it’s a way of saying someone is crazy in a cool way, I decided to adopt this phrase as my very own and use it in polite conversation.

This is because I have found over the years that one can never have too many vague, but accurate, ways to tell someone else that he or she is slightly out of his or her mind, but you like them anyhow.

N’est ce-pas?

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“…but bananas like the climate of a very, very tropical equator, so you should never ever put bananas, in the refrigerator.”

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