When Politeness Makes Me Uncomfortable

February 5, 2015February 11, 2016 / Ally Bean / 17 Comments

How hypocritical is it to thank someone for a kindness while simultaneously deciding to avoid him or her in the future?

This, I suspect, is an introvert problem.

Every so often I find myself in this situation with people who are nice enough people, but have values and ideas that don’t jive with my own. Not outright bad people, mind you. But people who wear me out with their limited thinking or inconsistent behavior. Or incessant chatter.

Just too much, too much.

Each time I thank one of these people for his or her contribution/generosity/concern in regard to something or other, I feel uncomfortable. This is because I know that in order to stay true to myself and my goals, I have no intention of maintaining a relationship with any of these people in the future.

That they are on the way out of my life.

However there I am, playing nice-y nice, and feeling like the pretense of each situation is an itchy old wool winter coat that I’ve outgrown, but have yet to give to Goodwill. Leading me to conclude that what I’d describe as hypocrisy, like wool, makes me squirm, even when it is of my own doing.

I’m Not Obsessed With Logic But…

November 6, 2014February 25, 2015 / Ally Bean / 20 Comments

I’ve no doubt that some people have wondered the above about me. [For the record, I tie my shoelaces all by myself.] We all have our moments, don’t we?

Uh huh.

So it is with the foregoing in mind that I tell you the gist of a conversation that I had with a casual acquaintance. It’s a conversation that didn’t make sense to me, but then I was having one of my logical days while my casual acquaintance wasn’t.

Oh well.

~ ~ • ~ ~

ACQUAINTANCE: Congrats on your success. I see that you’ve accomplished something.

MOI: Thank you.

ACQUAINTANCE: Did you do something different this time that contributed to your success?

MOI: Yes. {I explain how I did what I did.}

ACQUAINTANCE: {Acquaintance asks 2 or 3 clarifying questions.} Wow, so you did something entirely new?

MOI: Yes I did.

ACQUAINTANCE: WELL THAT WON’T WORK. YOU CAN’T DO IT THAT WAY. YOU’LL FAIL.

MOI: Huh?! But you just said…

ACQUAINTANCE: {Lots of explanation about how what I did will never work and how wrong I was to even try.}

MOI: Well, thanks for telling me this.

ACQUAINTANCE: Oh sure. Just trying to help.

MOI: Uh huh.

~ The End ~

[Source for the above image is anyone’s guess. I found it on FB. I’ve seen it on Pinterest, stumbled over it on many blogs, but have been unable to find its original source.]

Reviewing The News, Reaching For The Wine

October 24, 2014October 24, 2014 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

“I am satisfied. Give me a bowl of wine:

I have not that alacrity of spirit,

Nor cheer of mind, that I was wont to have–

So, set it down.– Is ink and paper ready?”

~ William Shakespeare, King Richard III

• • •

USUALLY I’M GOOD AT knowing what I’m thinking and feeling about things. Clarity of thought. Sense of purpose. Focus on what matters now.

Me. Most of the time.

But the news of these last few weeks has worn me down. Made me wonder about humanity. Made me want to stay in my jammies all day, hiding in the back of the closet, playing Candy Crush.

• • •

First we talked about:

Ebola, and the CDC + Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas‘s half-assed handling of said at a time when everyone in the USA needed them to do things properly.

Then we were inundated with:

Mitch McConnell [or Old Turkey Neck as he’s known in this house], and his daily TV political attack ads against his opponent, a woman with a gun who seems to scare the bejesus out of him.

Followed by:

Gamergate, and the blatant misogynistic attacks on woman associated with it under the guise of fair journalistic practices.

Then all of this took center stage:

Renee Zellweger, and the incessant opining about the reasons why she did what she did + about the results of what she did.

Culminating in:

The Parliament of Canada, and the unforeseen attack on it leading to the world’s newest isn’t-he-amazing hero who saved lives by calmly doing what needed to be done.

• • •

SO MY POINT HERE? After hearing and reading about all the above, I’m tired, emotionally. I’m tired, physically.

I’m just plain tired.

I have to wonder if keeping up with the news is what I need to be doing with my time. While the well-educated rational side of me says “stay informed,” the sensitive empathetic side of me says “ignore.” The cognitive dissonance is beginning to get to me.

Leading me to contemplate how I can do both when the agenda-setting function of the media gives me bad news everywhere that I turn. Except in my closet, of course. Where you may just find me, with my bowl of wine.

Waiting for my alacrity of spirit to return.

Pondering A Neighbor’s Nutty Behavior

October 17, 2014November 19, 2015 / Ally Bean / 29 Comments

You know how sometimes when you’re walking along a downtown city street and a person, who is nuttier than a fruitcake soaked in rum, starts shouting nonsensical things at you from the other side of the street?

Well, here’s my suburban equivalent of that city experience.

# # #

Woman on other side of street pointing at passersby as she shouts for no discernible reason.

{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }

# # #

I was sitting outside on our deck, mid-afternoon, reading a catalogue, enjoying the mild October weather.

When BAM-BAM-BAM the neighbor woman who lives behind us on the other side of the wooded ravine started clanking metal objects together. This went on for about a minute.

I was startled, of course, so I looked up from my reading to see what was going on that required this much noise. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

So I went back to reading my catalogue.

# # #

Me outside my house heading toward the deck to enjoy a bit of fresh air.

{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }

# # #

But that was not the end it. About a minute after she stopped clanking metal objects together she yelled to no one in particular: “Don’t. Feed. The. Birds.”

Then I heard her stomp into her house and slam shut the sliding patio door, leaving me to ponder what the heck she was talking about and who she thought would hear her.

It also made me realize that I needed to thank my lucky stars that the nuttier-than-a-fruitcake suburban neighbor lives way over there on the other side of the ravine.

Far away from me. Forsooth.

# # #