An Observation On The Unintended Consequences Of The Behavior Of Elderly In-laws Who Watch The Weather Channel

June 8, 2014June 9, 2014 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Not covering any new ground here, but needs to be said. Love is a strange thing.

Every time the Weather Channel shows bad weather where we live, my in-laws, who live hours away from here, phone us to make sure that we’re okay.

At age 80+ they do not believe in calling a cell phone number because they believe that talking on the phone while driving a car is dangerous. And because they do not know if either one of us will be in our car when we answer our cell phones, they leave a message on our landline answering machine.

The messages are all about the same. First, they say our names, then tell us who is calling. Then they hang up without telling us why they called. No good-bye, just click and the line goes dead.

It is from this pattern of behavior that we have come to know when bad weather is headed our way. The lack of concrete message is the clue.

Because we both are too busy to spend much time in front of the TV this sort of non-message phone message has come to be our own special, personalized form of the Weather Channel. And we love it.

And them for doing it.

4 Grouchy Reasons Why April Is My Least Favorite Month

April 15, 2014April 15, 2014 / Ally Bean / 28 Comments

• I’m allergic to April. The pollen from the trees makes me itch & sneeze. The mold spores, that magically appear after the snow melts, make me itch & sneeze. And the dust mites? Don’t even get me started. They’re everywhere I want to be outside, like on the porch furniture and terra-cotta pots and the mailbox. Everywhere I tell you.

• I’m not a fan of Easter because the stupid holiday moves around the calendar and as much as I try to be a good sport about it, this behavior seems rude to me. Easter, just pick a Sunday and stick with it. That way I’d have a clue about when to buy a ham and some asparagus– maybe a pineapple, too. But as it now stands Easter’s laissez-faire attitude thwarts me, and I rarely manage to make a special holiday dinner.

• I’m not thrilled with the whole “pay your taxes” part of April. While I’m happy to be an American citizen and understand why I’m paying taxes, doing so does tend to make me a bit grouchy. I think that it does for everyone, but maybe not. Perhaps there’s some whack-a-doodle who enjoys giving money to the government. Probably has her own reality TV show, too.

• And my final reason for not liking April is that I have to acknowledge that my pasty white legs, which are getting chubbier every year, look more and more like uncooked bratwursts. During the fall and winter I can hide my legs, but every April when I put on my first pair of shorts for the year I discover that my legs look awful– and it comes as a shock to me every single time. *humph*

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Grouches of the world unite!
Stand up for your grouchly rights!
Don’t let the sunshine spoil your rain
Just stand up and complain.

Let this be the grouches’ cause:
Point out everybody’s flaws!
Something is wrong with everything
Except the way I sing!

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Springtime: Musings On A Season’s Return

April 3, 2014April 3, 2014 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

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Spring weather is variable. Today it’s wet + gray + cold. Drab.

On Sunday it was sunshine + blue skies + mild. Lovely. In fact, it was so pleasant outside that we went to a nature preserve and wandered around an old farmstead that is there.

After a Winter spent inside looking out, the freshness of the day inspired me, charmed me. The new sights. The idea of possibility.

As a rule I don’t enjoy beginnings, but Spring is a season that forces me out of my comfort zone. And despite its unpredictable weather, Spring entices me, reassures me with fresh starts, beautiful colors and the promise of growth.

So how about you, gentle readers? What is there about Spring that speaks to you?

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Late Winter Weather Keeps Me Guessing

March 3, 2014March 3, 2014 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

Delightful.

Saturday afternoon was sunny and about 55ºF outside. I wandered around our property and found this green patch of pachysandra juxtaposed against the blah browns of the forest primeval. Isn’t it a pretty reminder that Spring is on its way?

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Invigorating.

Yes, a mere 40 hours ago I was walking down these limestone steps to get to the lower terraced level of our property. In fact, once down there I paused to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.

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Inspiring.

And then I spent a few minutes taking photos of what I saw: the blue sky above an evergreen tree surrounded by tall golden grasses, for instance.

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Dangerous.

However, that was then and this is now. Today, Monday morning, there’s white stuff everywhere, even outside the front door. Can you find the step to the stoop, covered in 3″ of snow, that leads to our front door? Look closely now.

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Annoying.

Oddly enough, it’s as if this last Saturday never happened. Sunshine and warmth? There was none that around here, you silly girl. You must have dreamed it all, says the Winter that’ll never end.

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